TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
PART 6
MARY BOLTON & ROBBIE WOOTEN
The following morning, Melissa took her photographs, which she had
wrapped in some cloth, and headed to Teaspoon’s office. He had just
finished up his morning paperwork when she knocked on the doorframe
“Well, well. To what do I owe the honor of this visit?” He smiled
as he got up from his chair at the desk.
“I need to see you about something. Do you have a few minutes?”
He smiled. “Always for my daughter! Come sit down!” He motioned
for her to take the chair by the desk.
She remembered as she did so, that this was how it had started the day
that she had told him who she really was. She placed the wrapped
package on her knees.
“You know I went to the fort to get something that Fancy had sent for
me. It’s really a late Christmas gift for you!”
“Me?” Teaspoon looked startled, then pleased. She placed the
package on his desk.
“I knew they would never get here in time for Christmas. So I hope that
you will forgive the lateness of the gift. But this is something that I
want you to have!”
She drew her hand away from the package and Teaspoon sat looking at it
for several moments. Then he reached for it and hesitated, then reached
for it again. Pulling the string, it untied easily, the cloth wrapping
falling away to reveal photographs. They were of Melissa’s mama,
Melissa in different stages of growth and a few with her mama and
grandmother. Teaspoon looked at each one, carefully picking them up as
if they would break, then placing them on his desk in the same manner.
He felt tears fill his eyes as he looked at the photographs he held in
his hand of Maria. He missed her so much. He still had a lot of love in
his heart for her.
“Oh Melissa, these are the best gifts that anybody has ever gave
me!” He caressed one of her and her mother lightly. Wiping a tear
from the corner of his eye, he looked up at her. “But shouldn’t you
keep these yourself?”
She smiled as she placed a hand over his. “I have plenty of them left
at home. I wanted you to have these. I know you don’t have any of mama,
except the one I gave you.”
“I don’t know what to say!” He looked down once more at the
photographs spread out on the desk.
“You don’t have to say anything! Just know how much I love you!” At
that she got up from her chair, leaned down and kissed his forehead.
Then she left him alone with his memories.
Spring was nearly upon them. The trees were budding and the flowers
were starting to bloom. Kid and Lou’s house was finally finished. They
were moving in, thrilled to have a place they could call their own.
Rachel, Sarah, and Melissa were planning a house warming party for Lou
and Kid on Saturday afternoon. Most of the ladies of the church were
invited; ones that Lou had come to know since she had been attending
with Melissa and Sarah. The same night, there would be a dance in honor
of Ike and Emily. They would be announcing their plans to marry!
Saturday would be a very busy day.
Buck and Melissa had become even closer as the days wore on. They both
realized that they needed to spend some private time with one another
each day that Buck wasn’t out on a ride. Since sharing their love with
one another the first time, there was a big need to continue that
sharing every day. But their places were limited where they could be
alone. With winter still on them, it was hard to just ride out and pick
a nice spot by the lake.
Buck had spent a lot of time thinking about a place that he and Melissa
could call their own. In his wanderings, he thought of the miners cabin
that Jimmy and Sarah had used when she had been teaching him to read.
He decided to ride out and see if it were still empty. If so, he would
ask Jimmy if he had objections to their using it.
Buck found the cabin empty. He felt ecstatic as he returned to the
station. He needed to find Jimmy as quickly as possible. He wanted to
tell Melissa that he had found somewhere for them to go. Somewhere they
could be alone and not have to worry about someone walking in on them.
Jimmy was saddling his horse when Buck arrived. “Where you headed?”
“Teaspoon wanted me to run some papers over to have Mr. Erickson sign
‘em. Seems he’s ailin’ and cain’t come into town.”
“Before you go, I wanted to ask you somethin’.”
“Shore. What’s up?” Jimmy stopped what he was doing and looked
towards Buck. He couldn’t read what was in his face. He wondered if
everything was alright between him and Melissa.
“You and Sarah. You spend a lot of time with one another at nite, at
her house, I mean. Time when you,” he blushed slightly. “You know…”
Jimmy nodded knowing what Buck was getting at.
“Melissa and I need a place. Somewheres we can go, somewheres private.
We cain’t spend any time alone together here or at the bunkhouse.”
“No, I guess not. Teaspoon wouldn’t care too much for that! Ain’t no
way you can sneak by his bedroom nites!”
“I was wonderin’… that miners cabin that you and Sarah used for a time,
would it be okay if Melissa and I sort of made it our own? We ain’t got
no where’s else to go. And with winter still here, we cain’t take a
picnic and go out by the lake!”
“Don’t see why not.” He smiled Buck’s way. “Ain’t laid no claims to it.
Why don’t you go into town and fill out the papers. Make it legal at
the land office. That ways no one can take it away from you once you’ve
cleaned it up and all.”
Buck smiled. “Thanks Jimmy. I think I’ll do that this afternoon. Then I
can surprise Melissa with the news tonite!” He headed off to
town, a big smile on his face. This was what he was supposed to be
doing. It was right. He could feel it in his heart.
Melissa had helped Rachel clean up the kitchen from supper, and she was
about to step out onto the porch when Buck slipped up behind her. “Can
you take a walk with me? Or do you have somethin’ else you need to do?”
She smiled. “I’d love to take a walk with you.”
She slipped on her shawl and they went outside. The other boys were
sitting on the porch with Teaspoon and they made obscene remarks as
Buck and Melissa walked away from them. Buck just smiled her way and
slipped an arm around her shoulders.
“I been doin’ some thinkin’ Melissa. We need a place to call our own,
you and I.”
They had stopped by a big oak tree in the back of the house. Buck was
leaning against it, playing with a blade of grass that he had plucked
along the way. Melissa was looking up into his eyes, wondering what all
this leading up to.
“You know how I feel bout you. I want to spend time with you every day
that I’m not on a ride. I want to share my love with you. But we cain’t
do that here.” He motioned around them to the bunkhouse and Rachel’s.
“I know.” Melissa whispered it. She’d been thinking about the
same things for the last few days.
“I rode out to the old miner’s cabin today. You know, the one that
Sarah and Jimmy used for awhile. The one that you and Jimmy stayed at
the nite I went after Sarah.” Melissa shook her head. “No one has
laid claim to it. So I asked Jimmy if he and Sarah would mind if we
sorta took it over and made it our own! He thought it was a good idea.
He even suggested that I make it legal.”
“Make it legal?” She looked confused.
“Yeah, I went into the land office and laid claim to it. The old
miner’s cabin now belongs to me!” He pulled the paper out of his
vest pocket and handed it to her.
Slowly she unfolded the paper and read the words. It explained that the
miner’s cabin on Carson Road belonged to one Buck Cross. It was signed
real official looking.
She looked up at him surprised. “Buck are you sure that this is what
you want to do? The cabin is a big responsibility!”
He smiled. “I’m shore. I want it to be our place! We can fix it up to
be ours, and one day, I would like for us to live there and raise our
children!”
He was looking down at her, and she felt tears gather in the corner of
her eyes. Reaching up, she caressed his face. “I love you Buck Cross!”
He smiled as he held her close. “I love you, Melissa. We’ll start
makin’ it ours tomorrow!”
True to his word, Buck and Melissa rode out to the cabin the following
day. They started cleaning the place from top to bottom. Buck made a
list of what repairs needed to be made.
As Melissa swept the floor and thought about what she wanted to do to
make the cabin livable, she caught a glimpse of Buck as he moved some
things around in the lean -to at the right side of the cabin. She
smiled, and her heart swelled with the thoughts of being married to
this man, living there with him. She wanted that more than anything!
Her life was with him, and nothing would change that!
Later that afternoon, they rode back to the station, holding hands.
Teaspoon was standing in the middle of the yard when they rode up. A
smiled covered his face.
“You two love birds been out romancin’ one ‘nother?” They blushed
as they looked his way. “Thought so! Melissa, Sarah left word for you
to come over as soon as you got back.”
Melissa slipped off her horse and handed Teaspoon the reins. “Thanks.
I’ve got time to go see her before I have to start helping Rachel with
supper. Tell her I’ll be back shortly!” She leaned near and
kissed Teaspoon’s cheek and then kissed Buck quickly. “I’ll see my two
favorite men in a bit!” With a wave, she was gone.
They both smiled as they watched her walk off towards Sarah’s. She
seemed to have a happy little skip to her walk. Teaspoon glanced at
Buck. His eyes were following her every move.
“Son, what’s this I hear from Leroy at the land office bout you layin’
claim to the ole’ miner’s cabin out on Carson Road?”
Buck really wasn’t that surprised by his question. He figured he
couldn’t keep it a secret for long.
“Been thinkin’ lately bout the future, Teaspoon.”
“Ain’t got nothin’ to do with that little lady jist left us, has it?”
Buck smiled, as he glanced towards the road to see if he could still
catch a glimpse of her. “Could be!” He took the reins of
Melissa’s horse and they walked towards the barn. “I ain’t got nothin’
to offer her Teaspoon! I figured we could fix up the cabin and make it
ours. Then somewhere’s down the road, when we decide it’s time to git
married, we’ll have some where’s to call home!”
“Son, I don’t reckon it matters none to her that you ain’t got nothin’
to offer her. At least material wise, that is. I think she’d be happy
with jist your love! But jist the same, if’n you need any help fixin’
up that there ole’ cabin, jist give a yell!”
He patted Buck on the back and left the barn. He was going to be very
happy with him as a son-in-law!
Melissa arrived at Sarah’s just as she had gotten home from another
full day at school. She’d sat down at the table to rest a minute. She
was so tired lately. What could possibly be wrong with her? There were
only six more weeks of school left before summer. She wondered if she
could make it through those last six weeks! A knock sounded on her door
and she rose to answer it.
Melissa smiled as Sarah opened the door, but it quickly turned into a
frown as she saw her friend. She looked a little pale.
“Are you okay?” She went inside placing her coat on the table by
the door.
“I’m just a little tired. I’ll be okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. You look awfully happy! Got anything to do with what I heard
from Jimmy last night? Buck owns the miner’s cabin now?”
“Yes, he does! I couldn’t believe it when he told me he’d been to the
land office. He wanted it to be legally his, so no one else could lay
claim to it.”
Sarah smiled. “Seems he’s pretty serious! Wouldn’t be surprised if he
didn’t ask you to marry him soon!”
Melissa smiled. “Maybe. He did mention that he would like for us to
live there. Maybe raise our children there. But for now, I’m happy just
to have a special place to call our own.”
Sarah went into the kitchen and fixed them both something to drink.
Melissa followed.
“It’s rather hard to find some place that we can be alone. There’s
always someone walking in, or sneaking up on us!”
“I guess Jimmy and I have been lucky that we had this to come
to.” Sarah motioned around the house. “I know that I would be
lost if we couldn’t be together at some point every day that he isn’t
on a ride!”
“Sarah could I ask a favor?”
“You know you can!” She smiled as she handed her a cup of coffee.
“I’m not much for sewing. But I need to make some curtains for the
cabin. If I get the material, would you help me make them?”
“You know I will! They’re easy to make. I’ll have you making them
yourself in no time!”
“I’d love to learn! Thanks Sarah!” She moved over and gave her
friend a hug.
Saturday was quickly arriving. Melissa went into town with Buck to pick
up some supplies for the party for Kid and Lou. Melissa was also
planning to pick out the material for the curtains while she was there.
Buck reached up and lifted Melissa down off the wagon. She slipped down
his body and stood in front of him. Leaning down, he kissed her lips.
His body responding to hers.
“Now don’t go takin’ forever in there! As soon as we git back with
these supplies, we can ride out and fix that roof leak at the
cabin!” He grinned as he looked down into her eyes. She knew that
he didn’t have fixing a roof leak on his mind!
Melissa laughed. “You fixed that roof leak over two days ago!”
“Shh, don’t tell no one!” He placed fingers over his lips. “Spoil
our excuse to go to the cabin!” He laughed as he hugged her near.
Shaking her head, Melissa headed into Tompkins store.
Several of the town’s ladies were in the store as well. They had seen
Melissa and Buck as they had rode into town.
Tompkins had a large selection of materials. Melissa was trying to make
a decision when she over heard one of the ladies.
“I’m going to talk to her. It’s a shame, I tell you, a shame!”
She made her way over to Melissa.
“Melissa, it’s nice to see you.”
She turned slowly, smiling, wondering what this woman wanted.
“Mrs. Carson.” She nodded her way.
“My dear, I know the Reverend has spoken to you before. I think it’s
time some of us said something to you, before it’s too late!”
“About what?” Melissa already knew about what! She tried to stay
calm.
“It’s just such a shame that you’re wasting your life here in Rock
Creek with that half-breed Buck Cross! There are so many young men who
are asking questions about you. Wanting to know who you are, wanting to
take you to the dances that we have every Saturday night! They want to
court you my dear!” She patted her hand and smiled her way.
Melissa felt sort of sick at the way she was trying to be so sweet to
her. Sugar would have melted in her mouth! “Those young men would be so
much better suited to you than that savage, Buck Cross!”
Tompkins was standing behind the cash register and he could see what
was coming by the look on Melissa’s face. He’d always thought Mrs.
Carson was a busy body. She was about to get what she deserved. He
started to interfere, but decided it was time that someone told her
what they thought of her meddling!
“For your information, Mrs. Carson, I have no desire to see any of the
eligible men in this town. I’ve been to most of those dances since I
arrived and there haven’t been that many who have asked me to dance!”
“Oh come now my dear. I know that if you would let it be known that
you’ve shunned that Buck Cross’ advances, the young men would be coming
in droves! Your father should have a hand in decisions on who you are
allowed to see!”
“For your information, my father agrees with my relationship with Buck!
Not that it is any of your business!”
Mrs. Carson didn’t seem to be getting the message that Melissa was
trying to get across to her. She just kept on and on.
“But I’m sure dear, that if someone said something to him, he would
realize that you need someone more suited to you! Someone who could
give you a proper life style that you deserve! A fine home and
security!”
The cabin filtered through Melissa’s mind and she knew that Mrs. Carson
would probably turn a different color if she could see it! She knew
that she would never approve!
“It’s a disgrace to let that savage kiss you in public! Let alone be
the only one who escorts you into town! Just let it be known Saturday
night, at the dance that you aren’t interested in him any more and you
will be surprised at the response you receive! Let me tell you, no one
wants a lady that has been used by a savage! Why don’t you let me
spread the word that you are available?”
Buck had started in the store when he’d over heard the start of the
conversation between Melissa and Mrs. Carson. He stepped back around
the corner out of the way. He wanted to hear what Melissa had to say to
her, but he didn’t want her to know that he was eavesdropping. The
longer he stood there, the angrier he became. He shouldn’t
be surprised by what he was hearing. How many times had it happened
before?
Her last words made Melissa’s temper fly. “Used by a savage? I have you
know some people in this town are savages and they aren’t even Indian!
It’s people like you that refuse to give others a chance…that’s being a
savage! Get to know someone from the inside out! Don’t just pass
judgment on what they look like! I don’t need your help for anything
Mrs. Carson! I wouldn’t be caught dead letting you spread the word, as
you say! You aren’t anything but a gossip and I would appreciate it if
you would bypass me with it! I have no need of your help in finding a
man! I’ve already found the one I want. I love Buck Cross, and nothing
that you have to say or do will change that feeling! No man in Rock
Creek can or ever will measure up to him! Keep your nose out of my
business!”
With that she walked over to Tompkins to get the order that Rachel had
sent. Mrs. Carson let out a “Well, I never!” and turned away. Buck
watched her storm by him at the door. He was pleased with what Melissa
had said. The scene at the fort had started proving to him that he
didn’t need to worry about her getting upset about what others had to
say about him or their relationship. She had certainly just proven to
him that she could handle herself in any situation concerning it.
It was all Tompkins could do not to laugh out loud! He glanced up at
Melissa as he wrote down what Rachel had requested on his account book.
He knew Rachel would be in to pay for it the first of the week. He was
amazed at how calm Melissa was after all that she had just been
through. He felt he needed to say something to her.
“You know, some of these ladies here in Rock Creek try to run
everything, including our lives! I’m sorry about that!”
Melissa shrugged her shoulders. “It’s alright Tompkins. No one is going
to change the way I feel!”
Buck came in to join her. He had decided not to let on that he had over
heard anything. He slipped an arm around her shoulders.
“Ready to go?”
“Yes. Thanks again Tompkins.”
He smiled. “Any time Melissa.”
Buck walked her out and loaded the supplies on the wagon. As he started
to help her up into the seat, Melissa noticed Mrs. Carson and one her
friends standing across the street staring at the two of them. She
wondered if she lived to collect gossip, just to make someone’s life
miserable! Shaking her head, she let Buck lift her up into the seat.
Swinging up beside her, Melissa slipped an arm through his. For a
moment he smiled at her, then he slapped the reins on the horse’s backs
and they were on the way back to the station.
Several days passed. Buck and Melissa were working on the cabin every
chance they had. The house warming party went well on Saturday.
Everyone came that was expected, even Mrs. Carson! Melissa was a little
worried about having to serve her, but she shouldn’t have worried. Mrs.
Carson just stuck her nose up in the air and went in the opposite
direction when she came near her. Melissa had told Rachel about what
had been said. She’d told her not to spend one second worrying over it.
There didn’t seem to be a lot of people in Rock Creek that believed
what she had to say any way. Once the ladies that lived there marked
you as a gossip, they didn’t listen to much of what you had to say!
Sarah walked over to see Melissa, Monday afternoon, after school,
Tompkins had given her a package to take to Melissa. Wondering what it
was, she had deposited her small amount of items at her house and had
taken the package to the station.
Rachel opened the door on the second knock to find Sarah standing
there, a large package in her arms.
“Here, let me help you with that.” Rachel reached for it and was
surprised that it wasn’t as heavy as it had looked.
“It’s okay. I didn’t have any problem with it. Is Melissa here?
Tompkins sent this over to her.”
“She’s out hanging up the wash.” Rachel went to the back door and
called for her. Within seconds, Melissa was there.
“I was over at Tompkins store right after school, and he said to give
this to you. You ordered anything special for the cabin? It feels like
material. Your curtains maybe?”
Melissa looked confused. She hadn’t ordered anything special from
Tompkins. She took the package and unwrapped it.
“No, I didn’t order any material special for the curtains. You told me
you would help me make them, so I didn’t order anything ready-made.
Wonder what this is?”
Melissa pulled the brown paper off to find two different pieces of
material. Several yards of each. She looked up at Sarah surprised.
“It’s the curtain material that I was trying to decide between the
other day when Mrs. Carson and I had words! Why is he sending me this?
I didn’t pay for it.” She picked up one of the pieces and started
to unfold it. A sheet of paper fell to the floor.
Rachel leaned over and picked it up for her. “Maybe this will explain.”
Melissa took the paper and read the words written in Tompkins hand.
“Melissa,
I’ve given a lot of thought to what happened the other day. I realize
that the people in this town are much like I used to be. They take one
look at someone and form an opinion before they know all the facts. I
learned the hard way. I lost someone very dear to me because I didn’t
understand, and I wasn’t willing to accept her reasons til it was too
late.
Please accept these two pieces of cloth from me as a gift to you and
Buck. I learned later on, after you had left the store that you were
going to make curtains for the cabin that Buck now owns. Since you
never had the chance to make a choice between them, you can use both! I
hope this is enough cloth to make your curtains.
Over the years in Sweetwater and then here in Rock Creek, I have come
to respect Buck for what he is. Generous and kind hearted. No matter
what Mrs. Carson has to say, I think you have made a good choice in the
decision of your “man”. I’m sure that the cabin will one day be a happy
home for the two of you. In the meantime, if there is ever anything I
can help you with, please let me know.
William Tompkins”
Melissa looked up at Rachel and Sarah. She was startled by his act of
kindness. Her mouth was nearly to her knees.
“Well, I don’t believe it! Course Tompkins has changed a lot since he
lost his wife!” Rachel shook her head as she leaned over to
finger the cloth. “This should make beautiful curtains.”
“Tompkins lost his wife?” Sarah looked startled. “What happened
to her?”
“She must be the one he mentioned in this letter.”
Rachel shook her head. “She is. Her name was Sally.” Rachel
motioned for them to sit down at the table and she poured them each a
cup of coffee. “It’s been a while back. Some Army scouts came through
and asked Teaspoon if they could get a guide to take them to the Indian
camps that were in the area of Sweetwater. They were looking for white
captives. Buck was the obvious choice for a guide since he knew them
all. But he didn’t want to do it. He was afraid of taking the soldiers
to the camps. Afraid of what might happen there. But Teaspoon told him
it was wrong for them to be holding captives, so he convinced him to go.
Two of the white captives located were Tompkins wife, and their
daughter Jennifer. When they had been taken captive, Jennifer had only
been a child. They had been traveling with a wagon train to the west.
They were attacked, and the survivors were told that their relatives
that were taken were killed. I guess they did that to keep the
survivors from trying to locate the captives and chance getting killed
themselves.”
“Wasn’t Tompkins thrilled to have his family back?” Melissa
looked Rachel’s way. She had a feeling that the answer was no.
“In the beginning. Until he realized that Sally had belonged to the
chief of the tribe and that she had a child by him. At that point, he
walked away from her. Jennifer knew no other ways but that of the
Indian. She had problems adjusting to life in the white world. Buck
helped her to cope with it as well as he could. But she wanted to go
back to the village. She’d been promised to one of the young braves
there and couldn’t believe that her life would be lived without him.
No matter how much Sally talked with Tompkins, he refused to believe
that it had taken her a long time to lay with the chief. That he had
taken her in and protected her. That he had become her family because
she thought that Tompkins was dead, just as he thought she was. She
spoke at length to Buck about what life was like for him in the white
man’s world. She decided that she didn’t want her son, Two Ponies, to
have to live where he wasn’t considered as equal. So she decided to go
back to the village.
That same night Tompkins decided that he’d been wrong. That he did love
her and he needed her in his life. But when he went to see her, she was
gone. Some friend had taken her back towards the village. The brave
that Jennifer was promised to, killed Sally’s friends, and drug her and
Two Ponies back to the village. Jennifer arrived with Buck. The brave
thought that she wanted Buck and challenged him to a fight.”
Melissa looked her way startled. Why had Buck never mentioned fighting
with another man over a woman? Rachel saw the look pass over her face.
She reached over and patted her hand. “No, he wasn’t in love with her.
I guess he felt bound by honor. Anyway, Buck won the fight and the
brave was banished from the tribe. Jennifer couldn’t believe that her
brave had killed her mother’s friends, that he could be so cold
hearted. The chief told her that she could go with Buck, but he told
her she could do as she pleased. No one owned her. As the brave was
riding off, shots were fired and Sally was hit. She died in Jennifer’s
arms. The chief was saddened by it. He took Two Ponies to live with
him, and Jennifer went to live with her aunt back east. Tompkins tried
to catch Sally, but when he arrived at the Indian village, he was too
late. She was already dead.”
“How sad. Tompkins has a lot of memories that he has to deal with now.
I wonder if he will ever forgive himself for it?” Melissa sighed.
“I think that he has already started, The gift of the cloth tells
me that he no longer blames Buck for what happened to his wife. Even
though Buck didn’t have a thing to do with it. His being Indian,
reminded him of it all over again, every time he looked his way.”
“I don’t understand why people can’t see the pain and suffering that
Buck has had to endure coming to live in the white man’s world. Are
they all blind to it?”
“I think sometimes we aren’t supposed to understand it Melissa. Buck
had come to accept things as they are here. No matter what the town’s
people have to say, just continue to love him. As long as you are in
his life, that is all that will matter. He loves you very much, you
know!”
Melissa smiled. “I know.”
“I told her that he’d be asking her to marry him before long. What with
the cabin being his now, that’s all that’s left!”
Rachel smiled. “I agree. And if you need anything for that cabin, you
just tell me! I’m sure that there are some extra pieces of furniture
around here that you can have for it. I’ve come to love you and Sarah
as the dear sisters that I never had! I want you both to be happy! If
Jimmy and Buck do that for you, that’s all that matters!”
They both smiled her way. They knew that they couldn’t have asked for a
better friend other than each other!
Melissa did a lot of thinking later that evening about Tompkins and the
family he had lost. Sometime life was so unfair! And Buck, what he must
have gone through having to lead the army to camps. She wondered if he
thought much about it. Knowing that innocent people had died, it had to
lay heavy on his mind sometimes.
Melissa sighed. Buck had a heart of gold, and she knew it belonged to
her. She wished her mother and grandmother had been able to meet him.
She knew they would see the good in him…the good that so many people in
Rock Creek had missed.
There was no way to turn their heads. No way to make them realize that
they were doing Buck an injustice. Rachel was right, as long as they
loved one another, it didn’t matter what the towns people thought. She
decided that she would make Tompkins a pie the next day for his act of
kindness. Perhaps one day all the others would see the light as he had.
Sarah and Melissa spent several days working on the curtains for the
cabin. Sarah had known what she was talking about. Once the first
window was complete, Melissa was able to make the others herself. She
was so proud! She felt as if she had really accomplished something.
Sarah was supposed to meet Melissa near lunchtime to go to the cabin
and put up the curtains. The day dawned beautiful. The birds were
singing and the flowers were in bloom. But Sarah was feeling ill, and
she was glad it was Saturday, and there was no school.
It wasn’t the first morning that she had awakened feeling this way. She
actually hadn’t given it much thought until now. She was beginning to
put two and two together. All indications pointed to one thing. Being
tired all the time, being ill first thing in the mornings, and her
monthly time not appearing…she had to be carrying a child.
She sat in the kitchen, thinking about what that meant. She was
carrying Jimmy’s child. Her hand lightly stroked her still flat
stomach, and a smile covered her face. A baby! Would it favor her or
Jimmy? How would he feel about this? What if he didn’t want it? He
might run from her. Would she be able to cope with it if he did? She
sighed, one step at a time. She would have to get up enough courage to
tell him about it, and then handle things as they came afterwards. She
knew that this baby would bring her great joy, and she felt it would do
that for Jimmy as well.
When she arrived at the station, Sarah was feeling much better. She
didn’t mention her discovery to Melissa. She didn’t want to chance
Jimmy hearing it from anyone but her.
Buck had been at the cabin most of the day. He’d made all the repairs
that were needed. He was feeling really good about it. Melissa and
Sarah arrived right after lunch.
“I brought you something to eat. I know you left mighty early this
morning. You’re probably starving!” Melissa told him.
Buck smiled her way as he came around the wagon and lifted out the two
baskets that were there. He looked startled at their weight. If this
was lunch, she must have been planning to feed an army!
“I ain’t this hungry, Melissa!”
She laughed. “I know! I brought enough supplies to fix supper
tonight. I thought since we are officially finished when we hang
the curtains, that we could have a celebration! You’ll stay won’t you
Sarah? And Jimmy should be back from his ride by supper time.”
“I’d love to! I can ride back to the station a little later on and
leave word with Rachel to send Jimmy out when he arrives.”
Buck was lifting the covers on the items in the back of the wagon. “Did
you bring somethin’ to cook in? There ain’t no pots or pans here!”
“That’s what most of that is. Rachel went through the things that she
had at the station that weren’t being used. It was sweet of her to say
that we could use them here.”
Buck started unloading things and was surprised at all he found. There
were pot and pans, dishes, cups, forks, a small table, a rocking chair,
several oil lamps, and several rugs.
“Where did all this stuff come from?” Buck looked over his should
at Melissa, as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
“She mentioned something about most of it being left there by the last
people. Since she brought everything with her from Sweetwater when the
station moved, this stuff wasn’t needed any more.”
It took a few more minutes for Buck to get everything unloaded. Then he
left the ladies to ride into town. He promised Sarah that he would
leave word with Teaspoon or Rachel to send Jimmy out when he got back
from the ride.
Sarah hadn’t seen the inside of the cabin since she had been there with
Jimmy last. As she walked inside, she couldn’t believe her eyes!
“Melissa, it’s beautiful! You two have really done a wonderful
job!” There wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere. The table that had
only three legs had been replaced with four sound legs. The fireplace
had been cleaned and repaired where the roof leaked around it, and the
bed had a new mattress on it.
“I brought a spread that Rachel gave me for the bed. Let’s see how it
matches the curtains!”
The ladies busied themselves with their women things. The time seemed
to fly by. Before long, Melissa was starting supper on the stove.
Buck stopped at the general store and picked up a few nails. Then he
headed by the station to see Teaspoon. He was standing near the barn
when Buck rode up.
“Git things finished up at the cabin?”
Buck smiled as he slipped out of the saddle. “Yeah, Melissa and Sarah
are puttin’ the finishin’ touches on it right now! I think they got
them curtains made. Seemed all excited bout ‘em too!”
Teaspoon grinned. He started to say something just as Cody and Kid
walked up.
“Where you been?” Kid slipped an arm around Buck’s shoulders.
“Out at the cabin. You need somethin’?”
“No, jist seems you ain’t ever round any more! You and Melissa slip off
together more ‘n Lou and I ever did!” Kid grinned.
“I told you it would be hard to keep track of him now that it’s
happened ‘tween ‘em! Jist like Jimmy and Sarah! He’s never here either!
Fore long, Ike will be the same way!”
Teaspoon cleared his throat. “Buck can I see you a minute?” He
glanced towards Cody and Kid. “Alone?”
“Shore Teaspoon.” Cody and Kid headed off towards the bunkhouse
and Teaspoon waited til they were out of hearing range. He stepped over
and propped a foot up on the fence of the corral.
“What’s the matter Teaspoon? You look worried.”
“Son, I don’t want you takin’ this the wrong way.” He looked out
towards the mountains, hesitating as if he were unsure what to say. “I
know you and Melissa is in love! I also ‘member what young love is
like. I mite be an ‘ole man, but the memories still linger! You know I
approve of this relationship; it’s jist that it worries me some!”
“Oh?” Buck had a feeling that he was about to get a lecture.
“Since you got the cabin an all, I figure you’ll be stayin’ there some.
I ain’t no dummy Buck, I know what’s a goin’ on ‘tween you two. I jist
want you to be careful is all! I don’t want Melissa getting’ hurt none.
Them babies is a heap easier to make then they is to take care of!”
Buck blinked as he glanced at Teaspoon. “You ain’t thinkin’ I’d run out
on Melissa if’n that happened? I love her Teaspoon. I wouldn’t hurt her
for the world!”
“No son, I don’t ‘pose you would. I just thought I should say what I
had on my mind. It’s a father’s rite to worry ya know!”
Buck grinned, a blush covering his face. “You ain’t of a mind to be a
grandpa?”
Teaspoon looked startled and swallowed several times. “Well, I reckon
it wouldn’t be so bad! But I’d rather it be after you two done took
them weddin'’vows!”
Buck laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind!”
Teaspoon patted him on the back and turned to head back to the
Marshall’s office.
As Buck started to mount his horse, he remembered that Sarah had wanted
him to leave a message for Jimmy. “Oh, Teaspoon. When Jimmy comes in
from the ride, send him out to the cabin. Melissa is gonna cook for us
four tonite!”
“Shore Buck. Now don’t you be keepin’ my daughter out too late, you
hear? She has a bed here!”
“Yes sir, I hear!” Buck chuckled to himself as he mounted his
horse and rode back towards the cabin.
Jimmy got the message about a celebration right after he rode in. He
wondered as he made his way out to the cabin what they could be
celebrating.
Sarah and Melissa were just setting the table as he rode up. Buck was
on the front porch, in the rocker that Rachel had sent over.
“What we celebratin’?” Jimmy jumped from his horse and tied it to
one of the porch posts.
“We finished up the repairs on the cabin. Melissa jist felt like
breakin’ it in I guess!”
Jimmy looked around. It looked different from the last time he’d been
there. The roof had been sagging, the porch had been falling apart, the
lean-to had almost fallen in. “You’ve done a lot of work out here! I
didn’t know you were spendin’ that much time on it! You should have
asked me to help out!”
Buck smiled. “Well, Melissa and I spent out spare time out here doin’
it. Gave us some time to be together.”
Jimmy smiled. He understood.
“Come on in and see what the ladies have done to the inside. They
should have supper bout ready.”
Buck opened the door and Jimmy couldn’t believe what he saw. It was
like he’d walked into a different world!
“Jimmy! You’re back!” Sarah quickly erased the space between them and
encircled him in her arms. Have a good ride?”
He nodded. “Same as usual. No trouble. Melissa, you’ve done wonders
with this place!” He looked around, as he gave Sarah a squeeze.
Melissa blushed. “I couldn’t have done it without Sarah’s help! She’s
the seamstress! Come on, supper is ready!”
The meal was wonderful. Jimmy and Buck ate til they were stuffed. The
ladies had made stew, cornbread and apple pie for dessert.
“Man, I think we should celebrate like this all the time!” Jimmy
pushed himself away from the table. He glanced at Sarah. She hadn’t
seemed to eat much.
“You feelin’ alright Sarah?” He looked concerned.
“I’m fine. Melissa and I worked extra hard today!” She smiled as
she got up to clear the table. Truth was, she was wondering how long it
was going to take her to get up her nerve to tell him about the baby?
It was gonna be harder than she thought! She’d pushed it aside when
she’d been busy helping Melissa, but once Jimmy had appeared, it seemed
it was all she could think about.
Buck and Jimmy went outside to sit on the porch, while Sarah and
Melissa cleaned up the dishes.
“You’re awfully quiet for someone who wanted to celebrate!”
Melissa smiled. It was a dreamy sort of smile. “I was just thinking
about all this.” She motioned around the cabin. “It feels like
married life! Cooking our first meal, entertaining our friends. It’s
gonna be a beautiful life Sarah! I can feel it!”
She smiled. “I know. I find myself wondering if Jimmy and I will tie
the knot.”
Melissa looked surprised at Sarah’s words. “And why wouldn’t you? You
seem so happy together.”
“We are. But I’m not sure how far Jimmy will go with it. I mean, it
took me so long to get him to realize that we should be together. I
wonder if it will be the same when we start thinking about the marriage
thing. He was so afraid of my being hurt. I don’t know if he will take
that step!”
“He’s in love with you Sarah! He’ll ask you to marry him before long!”
“Like Buck will be doing with you?” She smiled her way.
“I hope that’s what the future holds!”
Jimmy and Buck were sitting on the porch, talking of much the same
things. Buck was sitting on the railing while Jimmy was in the rocker.
“I never thought I would have somethin’ like this!” Buck looked
around at the area that he had the right to call his own.”
“Guess someday I’ll have a place to call my own too. You and Melissa
here like this, it’s sorta like married life ain’t it?” Jimmy
grinned.
“Yeah, it is. Don’t think I’ll mind it much if this is what it’s like!”
“You thinkin’ bout it?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Don’t know. I’ve gotten so used to havin’ Sarah round, everythin’
goin’ rite, I’m ‘fraid somethin’ will happen to ruin it all!”
“Maybe once in your life things are gonna go rite! Maybe you was jist
waitin’ to meet Sarah for them to turn round!”
“I can only hope that’s it. I really like the feelin’ she gives me,
Buck! But it worries me. I’m ‘fraid I’ve gotten so used to it, I’ve let
my guard down.”
“Ain’t nobody called you out in a long time! Maybe that part of your
life is over!”
“I don’t think I can be that lucky! I don’t look for it to ever end!”
“Don’t worry so much bout it. Jist concentrate on Sarah. On givin’ her
your all. She deserves it.”
“Like Melissa deserves yours!”
They smiled at one another as the objects of their discussion came out
to join them. Sarah sat down in Jimmy’s lap, while Melissa went over to
stand in front of Buck. He pulled her between his legs and wrapped his
arms around her.
“What are you two boys talking about out here?” Sarah smiled up
at Jimmy from her place in his lap.
“Talkin’ bout our two wonderful ladies!” Jimmy kissed Sarah
quickly.
“We are kinda wonderful, aren’t we? Put the finishing touches on the
cabin, cooked a wonderful meal, even cleaned up the kitchen! What more
could you ask for?” Melissa grinned as she looked up at Buck.
“How bout a kiss so you’ll stop talkin’?” He had noticed that
Jimmy and Sarah were lost in one another.
“You don’t like hearing me talk?” She pouted his way.
“No, it ain’t that! I’d jist rather be kissin’ them perfect lips
instead of watchin’ them talk!”
The silence fell around them as both couples enjoyed the love that was
definitely thick in the air. It was a beautiful spring night and both
couples could have stayed there all night!
It was late when Jimmy and Sarah decided that they should get back.
Sarah was looking tired. “If we don’t git goin’, you’ll never git up
for church in the mornin’!”
“You two heading back now too?” Sarah looked Buck’s way. She’d
seen the passion in his eyes as he looked down at Melissa. She had a
feeling it would be much later when they got back to the station.
“No, got a few things to take care of before we take off. We’ll see you
in the mornin’!” Buck had slipped his arms around Melissa and she
was leaning back against his chest. They really looked cozy together.
Jimmy had a feeling he knew what the things were that Buck wanted to
take care of. Didn’t sound half-bad to him. He couldn’t wait to get
Sarah home all to himself!
“Thanks for a wonderful supper you two.” Sarah leaned near to hug
Melissa.
“Thank you for helping me with the curtains.”
“We’ll have to do this again sometime. Next time over at mine and
Jimmy’s house!” Jimmy beamed their way as she said those words. He’d
never thought of it that way. But he did spend all his time there.
Sarah leaned near and kissed Buck’s cheek and he lifted her up into
Jimmy’s arms on the front of his horse. “See you tomorrow for church,
Melissa!” Sarah waved as they rode off double on the horse.
Melissa had a feeling it would take them awhile to get back. The horse
would probably pick its way along without much attention from them.
Good thing he knew the way!
“There really isn’t anythin’ that we need to take care of. Except the
fire. I guess if you’re ready, we could go back to the station.”
He was still holding her close, and he leaned down to kiss the back of
her neck.
“Oh yes there is something we need to take care of!” She’d been
standing quite still enjoying the feel of his lips on the side of her
neck. Now she turned to face him, and her lips were very close to his
as she whispered, “If you think that I am going back to that station
and sleep alone in that bed all night, you’re mistaken! Not after all
the feelings you’ve stirred in me standing out here tonight!”
Neither needed to think about it, as their lips came together. Both
knew tonight would be as wonderful as all the others had been,
Melissa’s arms worked their way up around Buck’s neck, their mouths
still together. Buck groaned softly as she rubbed her body against his.
“I think we should seriously consider going inside, or we’ll end up out
here half the night!” She grinned up at him as he nodded.
“Guess we should. It mite be jist a little chilly standin’ here with no
clothes on!”
Jimmy and Sarah took their time riding back to town. Both were more
interested in one another than where they were headed. The horse came
to a stop outside of Sarah’s door. She grinned up at him.
“You’ve trained him well!”
Laughing, he jumped down and reached up for Sarah. “Guess I should take
him back to the barn at the station.”
“I’ll be waiting for you.” Sarah leaned up to kiss him.
He waited until she was inside, then swung back up into his saddle. A
few yards down the street brought him up even with the Marshall’s
office. Teaspoon was just locking up for the night.
“Evenin’ son. Headed back to the bunkhouse?”
“Jist to the barn to put up my horse. Then I was comin’ back to
Sarah’s.”
“Well, let me take ‘em for you. Save you a trip!” He reached for
the reins. “Has Buck and Melissa got back yet?”
“Nope. But they’ll be along shortly. Don’t worry none.”
“Oh, I ain’t worried, exactly. I jist don’t want Melissa to git in over
her head is all. Or Buck for that matter.”
“He’ll take care of her.”
“Like you would Miss Sarah? Sometimes love gits you in fixes ya cain’t
rightly git out of easy!” He sighed. “But I guess you ain’t got
time for no lessons bout the birds and the bees, now has you?”
Jimmy grinned and shook his head. He was blushing slightly. “Guess not!
If it makes you feel any better, I promise we’ll be careful!” He
smiled and patted Teaspoon on the back. Jimmy walked off and Teaspoon
just shook his head.
Buck closed the door behind them and had blown out the oil lamps except
the one way over by the window in the living room. The area by the bed
was dimly lit and he pulled Melissa back up against his body.
Slowly they undressed one another, neither hesitating. The hours they
had spent doing this, had given them confidence. They knew which road
they were about to take and it was one they both were getting very
familiar with.
Buck picked her up and placed her in the center of the bed, stretching
out beside her. His hands traveled over her body, lighting the fires
that burned so near the surface. His lips caressed first one breast and
then the other. Melissa was running her fingers through his silken
hair, all the while pulling him closer to her body.
From her breasts, his hands and mouth traveled down over her stomach,
around her belly button and over first one hip and then another. His
hand touched her thigh and then his fingers caressed her inner being.
She moaned as he touched that part of her that only he was familiar
with.
Before long, his lips and tongue were replacing his fingers and she
arched her body towards him, loving the feelings that he was causing
inside of her.
Knowing she could only take so much of his sweet torture, she pulled
him up the length of her body and rolled him beneath her.
Now came the part that Buck had grown to love so much. The feel of her
hands and mouth moving slowly over him. No other feeling in the world
could or ever would compare to this!
Her hands caressed every inch of him, from his shoulders all the way
down to his toes and back up again. Her mouth took him in and he
groaned, knowing he was going to explode if she didn’t soon stop. Yet
he didn’t want her to!
She slipped back up his body, nibbling here and there until he pulled
her down upon his chest and rolled her over. In seconds, his body
became a part of hers and they danced the age old dance of love
together. Their breaths came in ragged gasps as they climbed to the top
of passion and rode it back down to earth again. Buck called out her
name as he filled her with his seed of life. Their bodies slowed, and
Buck rested his face in the valley between her breasts. The sweat
covering them both.
“You’re so wonderful!” He kissed her shoulder and then up the
side of her neck to her lips.
“I’d say we’re getting the hang of this, wouldn’t you?” She asked
a little breathless as she grinned up at him.
“It gets better every time it happens!” He nuzzled her ear and
rolled to her side gathering her close in his arms.
Melissa yawned, snuggling nearer. “I really don’t want to go back to
the station! Can we stay here for just a little while?” She asked
sleepily.
Buck leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Reaching for the
covers, he pulled them up over them both. “For a little while.”
They fell asleep almost instantly.
Sarah was surprised by how quickly Jimmy had returned. He explained
running into Teaspoon. They spent a very few minutes getting ready for
bed, then Sarah blew out the oil lamp.
Their loving was as wonderful as all the other times had been.
Afterwards, they lay holding one another.
“I think Teaspoon is worried about the four of us!”
Sarah looked his way. “Why?” She was lying by his side, her head
on his shoulder, lazily drawing circles with her finger tips on his
chest.
“He asked if Buck and Melissa were back, and when I told him no, he
acted sorta upset. Said he weren’t worried none, he jist didn’t want
her to git in over her head. None of us for that matter. He mentioned
the birds and the bees. “Fraid love would throw us into somethin’ we
couldn’t git out of real easy! I ain’t never had no one tell me bout
the birds and the bees a fore! I learned it on my own!”
Sarah smiled. It would be like Teaspoon to worry. “He raised you boys,
Jimmy. He takes an interest in your lives. I think he’s just concerned.
Not that he regrets his actions, because he now has a daughter, but I
think he’s afraid something might happen to one of us like happened to
Melissa’s mama.”
“You think much bout gittin’ married and havin’ babies?”
Sarah was silent for a moment. How was she going to answer that? “I
guess all ladies do at some point. Don’t men?”
Jimmy was rubbing a finger up and down her arm, looking thoughtful. “I
guess so. Buck and I were talkin’ bout it tonite. The gittin’ married
part. I think he’ll be askin’ Melissa soon. Or else Teaspoon will be
makin’ arrangements for a shotgun weddin’!”
“Oh he wouldn’t do that! He’d probably be thrilled to be a grandpa!”
She was silent again. Then asked. “Jimmy, what about you and babies?
You ever think about having a family? I mean, we’re getting good at
this making love stuff! What if we, well, you know…”
She was holding her breath. What sort of answer would she get?
“I ain’t never thought much on them lines. It would change a lot in my
life…course, I guess it would in yours too!” He looked towards her. “I
think you’d make a wonderful maw!” She smiled softly. “I ain’t plannin’
to stop makin’ love to you jist cause you mite have a baby. Guess we’d
have to cross that bridge when we gits to it!”
Sarah felt better about it. She raised up on elbows and took a deep
breath. Might as well get this over with since they were on the
subject. “Jimmy, I….” He looked her way and her nerve shattered!
One second it was there, the next, gone! “I love you.”
He smiled and pulled her back down to his chest. “I love you too. Now
go to sleep, it’s late.”
She closed her eyes. Maybe tomorrow she would tell him. Maybe
tomorrow….”
Buck woke suddenly from a sound sleep. For a minute he wondered where
he was. Then he felt Melissa curled around him. He smiled. He knew it
was only a few hours away from daylight. He kissed Melissa gently. She
stirred and looked up into his eyes.
The oil lamp had long since gone out, but the moonlight spilled in
through the windows. She raised a hand to caress Buck’s face. He smiled.
“I would love to stay here with you for the rest of the nite. But it
won’t be long until daybreak. We best git back a fore Teaspoon comes
lookin’ for us!”
She signed. “I guess you’re right.” She was still looking up into
his eyes. “I love you.”
His lips covered hers and she wanted to love him again. But she knew
they shouldn’t. They had probably messed up by staying this long now.
She wasn’t sure just how Teaspoon was gonna take this.
Buck smiled. “I love you too. Save those thoughts for
later.” He kissed her nose and slipped out of the bed to dress.
She did the same.
Teaspoon had paced the floor for nearly an hour. It was after 3 a.m.
Melissa and Buck still were not back! He was debating on going to the
cabin and bringing Melissa back. But he wasn’t sure he had a right to
do that! He was her father, but could he step in now, after all these
years of not having anything to do with her up bringing? He’d put on
some coffee and the smell of it brought him back to the stove.
Rachel woke to the sound of someone in her kitchen. It wasn’t daybreak
yet. Someone was up a might early! Slipping on her robe, she left her
bedroom. The smell of fresh coffee hit her at the top of the stairs.
Teaspoon had just sat down at the table when she came down the last few
steps.
“What are you doing up at this hour?”
“I ain’t been to bed yet!”
“Ain’t been to bet yet? What’s wrong? Can’t sleep?”
“It’s Melissa!”
“Melissa? She sick? Where is she?”
“No, she ain’t sick, and I ain’t rightly shore where she is. The cabin
most likely with Buck.”
Rachel had poured herself some coffee and turned to look his way. He
looked troubled.
“I see. Well, if she’s with Buck, then she’s okay.”
“I knows that. It’s jist…” he sighed. “She’s my daughter, Rachel. I
ain’t shore I have the right to tell her what she can and cain’t do!”
“But you approve of Buck!”
“Shore I do! But I’m worried bout her reputation. You know how people
in this here town talk!”
“Teaspoon, if she were worried about her reputation, she wouldn’t have
told off that major at the fort or Mrs. Carson in Tompkins store! She
loves Buck. That ain’t likely to change none! Her reputation can go
hang!”
“Rachel, I know what’s a happenin’ out at that cabin ‘tween ‘em!”
“Teaspoon, she’s a woman! She ain’t no little girl! I know you didn’t
have her when she was, but you can’t treat her as a child! She makes
her own decisions! She was a makin’ ‘em way a fore she came into your
life! It’s time she found someone to love, start thinkin’ of settlin’
down and raisin’ a family!”
“But Rachel, those two ain’t married yet!”
Rachel reached out and patted Teaspoon’s hand.
“What’s happenin’ ‘tween Buck and Melissa is a wonderful thing! It’s a
natural thing! It don’t make her bad just cause she’d spendin’ this
time with Buck! He is her first! Don’t spoil it for her!”
“I don’t know Rachel. What if…”
“Teaspoon,,,what if…... You cross them bridges when you come to ‘em!
Don’t worry bout it now! Buck has a good head on his shoulders, so does
Melissa for that matter. They know the difference ‘tween right and
wrong. Let ‘em be! If you were to tell her she couldn’t do this with
Buck, she would do it any way! You’d loose the love that she has come
to feel for you. Set back and watch. It will all work out!”
Teaspoon sighed. “I hope you’re right Rachel! I really have no right to
tell her what she’s doin’ is wrong. After all, that’s how she came to
be!”
Rachel patted his hand again. “I’m sure Maria is smiling up in heaven,
cause you is so concerned about her. She knows that with you around,
Melissa will be alright! I think Maria would have approved of Buck too!”
Teaspoon smiled. He opened his mouth to say more when they heard a
wagon roll up in the yard.
“They’re back!” He hurried over to look out the window. He
watched as Buck helped her down from the wagon and kissed her. He
quickly turned away from the window. “I don’t want her to know I’ve
been waitin’ up on her!” He quickly gave Rachel a kiss on the
cheek, and headed for his own room. Rachel smiled as she placed their
coffee cups in the sink. Then she too headed back upstairs to bed.
Melissa gave Buck a wave as she slipped inside the house. He headed for
the barn to unhook the wagon and put up the horses.
She smelled coffee and looked around. There were two cups in the sink
and the pot was still very warm. Teaspoon must have been waiting up for
her! Perhaps Rachel had come down also. She felt a little guilty about
keeping them up, but she brushed it aside. She wondered if Teaspoon
would mention the late hour to her tomorrow? She sighed and climbed the
stairs. She would worry about it then.
The following morning, most everyone was up early. Melissa was a little
worried about facing Teaspoon, but he wasn’t even at breakfast. He had
already gone out on his rounds so that he could be in church on time.
Rachel smiled her way as she joined them at the table. Buck sent her
his special smile and she knew no matter what happened that day, she
could get through it!
Teaspoon had decided he would wait awhile before he said anything to
Melissa. Perhaps Rachel was right. He should just be supportive of his
daughter’s judgment. She did have a good head on her shoulders and was
old enough to make her own decisions. He would try to be happy with
that!
Teaspoon, Rachel, Lou, and Melissa sat with Sarah at church. It was
crowded that morning, and they squeezed in beside one another. Most of
the hour, Sarah was praying to the good Lord to give her strength to do
what she had to. She had to tell Jimmy about the baby.
After three verses of “Amazing Grace” and a sermon on loving thy
neighbor, no matter who he was, everyone left the church together.
Melissa wondered if any of the congregation had listened to the sermon?
Jimmy was waiting to walk Sarah home outside the church. “Why don’t you
come join us for lunch Sarah?”
“I’d love to Rachel. Jimmy, could we walk ahead? I need to talk to you
about something.” He nodded and they started off down the street.
The sun was shining brightly and they were taking their time as the
strolled along, sort of window shopping. Sarah was holding on to
Jimmy’s arm, a smile on her face. He looked down at her and asked,
“What’s this you want to talk to me bout?”
She swallowed quickly. She had asked the good Lord to give her the
strength to tell him. “Jimmy, I….”
“You what?” He looked her way a little worried. Something didn’t
seem right with her.
“This ain’t easy to do. I need to tell you, I’m….” Just then
something caught her eye. A feeling of fear raced through her body. The
sun was glinting off of something to their left. They were between
buildings, nearly halfway through town. In a split second, Sarah
realized the sun was reflecting off the barrel of a gun and it was
pointed directly at Jimmy! Not thinking, just acting, she pushed Jimmy
out of the way, a scream clawing its way out of her throat.
A single shot was fired, and it struck Sarah as she shoved Jimmy aside.
He hadn’t realized anything was wrong-had no idea that someone was
waiting to kill him. In horror, he watched Sarah fall to the ground,
blood pouring from the hole right below her left breast. Not thinking,
he turned and leveled his gun that he had already drawn, and emptied it
into the man who had shot Sarah!
“Someone git the doc!” His voice screamed. It sounded as if it belonged
to someone else. It was filled with emotion as he crouched near Sarah,
pulled her into her arms. Tears filled his eyes. No, this couldn’t be
happening! Why had he let his guard down? Why hadn’t he been more
careful?
“Oh Sarah! God don’t let her die! Please God!”
Teaspoon, Rachel and Melissa had rushed up when the shots had been
fired. Melissa was quickly on her knees by her friend.
“Sarah?” She looked up at Jimmy’s ashen face. “What
happened?” He just shook his head. He couldn’t talk.
Teaspoon had already checked out the other man. He was dead. There was
no way he could live through that many bullets! He returned to Jimmy.
The doctor came rushing across the street. He took one look at her and
shouted orders for someone to bring her to his office. Jimmy carefully
picked her up and carried her across the street.
The doctor insisted everyone wait outside. Jimmy tried to force his way
in, but was held back by the others. It was all Jimmy could do to stand
still. He had a look of disbelief on his face. Teaspoon came over and
placed an arm around his shoulders. “Son tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know Teaspoon. We was walkin’ down the street, something
caught her eye and she shoved me out of the way. In only a second she
was lying crumpled at my feet. I didn’t even know who he was!”
His voice cracked and Teaspoon gave his shoulders a squeeze.
Teaspoon looked towards Rachel. “Hold him together. I’m a gonna go and
see if anyone knows who the man was.”
Rachel nodded and made Jimmy sit down in a chair. Melissa was crying
and couldn’t seem to stop. Why had this happened?
“She’s gonna die and it’s my fault!” Jimmy put his head in his
hands.
“No Jimmy. It ain’t your fault! She pushed you out of the way because
she loves you! She probably saved your life!”
“But it weren’t worth it Rachel! It should be me in there, not her!
Look what my lovin’ her has done for her! I tried to tell her. I
weren’t no good for her!”
Melissa quickly crossed the space between them. She got down on her
knees. “Jimmy, Sarah loves you more than life itself! She couldn’t
stand by and watch you be gunned down! She’s strong! She’ll pull
through this!”
“It shouldn’t have happened this way, Melissa! It should be me in there
on that bed. Me! Not Sarah!” His eyes were fire when he told her this.
Rachel reached out and caressed the hair from his face. She’d never
seen him this torn up about anything!
Buck came racing towards town, skidding his horse to a stop by the
doc’s house. Melissa was quickly in his arms, and he comforted her. He
looked towards Jimmy, and his friend looked as if he’d aged 15 years.
The others were soon there with the exception of Cody who was on a
ride. Teaspoon had returned with the news that the man had been a
little known outlaw and was gunning for Jimmy to make a name for
himself, as most of them were. Jimmy had never even heard his name
before!
They paced, they prayed, they sat, they stood. If good thoughts could
save her, there were certainly plenty of them being sent her way from
that porch!
The door finally opened and the doc stepped outside. He was startled to
see so many people jumping nearly in his face. So startled, he stepped
back a few steps.
“How is she doc?” Teaspoon seemed to be the only one who had a
voice.
“It ain’t good. The bullet pierced one of her lungs. She had a lot of
bleeding inside. But I’ve stopped that. I’ve done all I can for her.
It’s in God’s hands now!” He started to turn away.
Jimmy’s voice was so low he hardly heard him. “What’s her chances doc?”
“If she don’t git the fever, her chances are good. I got the bullet out
and she should heal quickly. She seems strong. But she’s unconscious
and it depends on how long she stays that way. Like I done said, the
Almighty decides this one! There’s no more I can do ‘cept keep an eye
on her, make her comfortable while we wait.”
Jimmy walked to the edge of Doc’s porch and looked out on the street.
His teeth clenched as he forced himself to not scream in frustration.
He tried to mask his face of any emotion that would cross it, but he
felt his heart breaking knowing that his lady had taken a bullet for
him. None of this was right. What if she never woke up? What if he
could never tell her again how much he loved her?
“Can we see her doc?” Jimmy asked, turning to look at the doctor.
“I don’t see no harm in it. But don’t stay long.”
Jimmy headed for the door and looked at Buck and Melissa.
“You can come with me if you want,” he stated softly before he went
through the door and into the room where the Doc was keeping her.
She was so pale. Her breathing was uneven. He reached out to touch her
cheek and her face felt clammy. A tear slipped down his cheek and
landed on her hand. Jimmy wiped it away with his thumb.
Buck and Melissa stood on the other side of her bed, looking down at
her. Melissa thought that she looked awful, but didn’t want to say
anything negative around Jimmy.
“I’m sure that after a night’s sleep, she’ll look better. She just
needs this time to rest quietly and heal,” she assured Jimmy.
Buck knew better though. It was time he went to do some very serious
praying. He closed his eyes and said one immediately. Then sensing that
Jimmy wanted to be alone with Sarah, he put his arm around Melissa and
stated,
“We’ll be back later to check on the two a you, okay, Jimmy?”
“Sure,” Jimmy told them as he gave them a brief glance, then turned his
eyes back to Sarah.
As he and Melissa returned to the porch, he gave her a hug.
“I’ll be back by night fall!” Melissa nodded. She knew where he was
headed.
Jimmy pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat. Taking her had in his,
he whispered, “Sarah, I wouldn’t have wanted this to happen to you in a
million years. Please come back to me! Please!”
He didn’t move until nearly dark. His thoughts were filled with all the
happiness she had brought into his life since they had met one another.
Teaspoon worried that Jimmy hadn’t eaten all day, went over to see if
he would leave her long enough to get some supper.
“Jimmy, son, you gots to keep up your own strength. Please come eat.
Then you can come back.”
“No Teaspoon. I might not have her much longer. I ain’t leavin’ her!”
“Jimmy, she ain’t gonna die! Maybe she’ll wake up tomorrow and start
getting’ better! Have some faith in the man upstairs, son!”
Jimmy shook his head. “We don’t know that! It’s my fault, Teaspoon! If
I’d been more careful and hadn’t let my guard down this wouldn’t a
happened to her!”
“You mean if’n you hadn’t fallen in love?” Teaspoon placed a hand on
Jimmy’s shoulder. “Son, love makes a man do foolish things! You let
your guard down cause you found happiness. There ain’t no harm in that!
Miss Sarah is a strong woman. She’ll pull through this. Don’t give up
on her yet! She wouldn’t if it was you lyin’ there!” He squeezed his
shoulders. “Shore you won’t come eat?”
“No, I cain’t leave her!”
“Alright son. Suit yourself! If you need us, yell.”
Jimmy shook his head and Teaspoon left him alone. Jimmy got down on his
knees and prayed to the man upstairs like he’d never done before.
The doc checked in on his patient an hour or so later. He found Jimmy
asleep, his head on his arm, holding on to Sarah’s hand.
Buck kept meditating and praying as the sun went down. He had to keep
pushing troubling thoughts out of his head. He was scared because he
felt that Sarah’s spirit was getting weaker, so he concentrated harder,
begging the Spirits to spare her. Thoughts of Sarah kept intruding so
he finally gave up, and turned his face to the sky. Stars were coming
out, and it was definitely getting colder. He stiffly got up…Sarah…his
kindred spirit....no, he couldn’t let her go…he wouldn’t let her go. He
grabbed the horn of his saddle and hoisted himself up and turned the
horse for Rock Creek. Images went through his head....the look of
fright on Sarah’s face when he’d helped rescue her and Melissa…Sarah
defending him with Mr. Silvers at Tompkins store…slipping her arm
through his....talking to him....laying with him at the Kiowa
Village…giving herself to him….No! He wouldn’t let her leave.
Melissa paced restlessly back and forth at Rachel’s.
“The doc would send word if anything happened to Sarah,” Rachel
reassured her.
“I know that he would. Maybe one of us should have stayed with Jimmy.
He’s not doing so great no matter what impression he’s trying to give
us. And Buck…he’s not back yet either and it’s dark! Rachel! I want to
do something. She’s my best friend!”
Rachel pulled her near, her arm around her shoulders.
“Tell you what. If we don’t hear anything within the next hour, we’ll
walk over just to check, alright?”
“Okay.”
“And Buck’s okay. He’s doin’ what he has to do for Sarah.”
“Yeah…I know,” she sighed.
Jimmy jumped up as he heard a noise, his hand automatically going to
his gun. There was no one there but Sarah…still asleep…still looking
fragile…he asked himself why for the thousandth time. He missed Buck
standing in the shadows.
“Why didn’t you let him shoot me instead?” He whispered to her.
“Because she couldn’t,” Buck said softly as he came into the room and
knelt down by the bed. “She loved you too much to see you killed.”
Buck laid his hand lightly on Sarah’s forehead. At least it wasn’t hot,
but her breathing was shallow and labored.
“Sarah...I was out prayin’ to the spirits, beggin’ them to spare you. I
could feel your spirit leaving, and I’m beggin’ you to stay with us.
Jimmy needs you…so do I. There ain’t no one here that understands me
like you do. Come back to us Sarah…please don’t leave us. We love you!”
Jimmy watched mesmerized, as Buck talked softly in her ear before he
began to chant something Indian over her. He made motions over her
body, as Jimmy held tightly to his lady’s hand. Buck ended it by laying
his cheek against hers and whispering something into her ear. Jimmy
couldn’t hear what he said, but he had a feeling it wasn’t meant for
him to hear. He’d long known about the bond between Buck and Sarah. He
had the same one with Melissa. As Buck was caressing her face, Jimmy
could tell that he was concentrating very hard on something.
Buck had whispered to Sarah how much he loved her, begged her again to
come back, and then tried to force some of his energy into her, knowing
she needed it to help her fight her battle. He didn’t even know when
the door opened again.
Jimmy looked up as Melissa and Rachel came into the room. He quickly
motioned them to not say anything, knowing by instinct that whatever
Buck was doing, it would be important to Sarah and he should do it
undisturbed. And before Jimmy’s eyes, Sarah seemed to start breathing a
little easier. It was then Buck kissed her cheek and stood up. He
seemed surprised to see Melissa and Rachel. He immediately went to his
lady. Rachel had gone over to Jimmy and hugged him.
“How is she?” Melissa asked him.
“I don’t know,” he told her truthfully.
“She hasn’t woken up?” Rachel asked, disappointed.
“No,” Jimmy said, “But she seems to be breathin’ easier. What did you
do Buck?”
“Indian medicine stuff. I wish that I knew more about it. Maybe I’d be
able to help her.”
“Maybe you already have,” Melissa told him. “Jimmy…would you like me to
sit with you for awhile? Or just sit with Sarah while you go get
something to eat?”
“No...I cain’t leave her,” he stated quickly. “But I’d appreciate it if
you kept me company for a time.”
“Then I’ll bring you something to eat in a bit,” Rachel decided. “Get
better Sarah,” she told the prostrate lady. “Coming Buck?”
“I’m goin’ back out to pray,” he said fingering his medicine pouch.
“I’ll see you later, Melissa.”
“Okay Buck. Be careful.”
She watched him follow Rachel out before she pulled up a chair on the
other side of the bed. She had never seen Jimmy look so sad.
“She’s gonna be okay, Jimmy. I think her color looks a little better,
don’t you?”
“I hope so, but I don’t know what to think, Melissa. I jist want her to
live,...that’s all.”
“Jimmy...you’ve gotta quit blaming yourself about this.”
“Now how am I gonna do that? That bullet was meant for me, but she took
it instead. That shoulda never happened. I was so full of this love
stuff that I’d let my guard down. I tried to tell her this would
happen, but she wouldn’t listen to me. I tried to fool myself into
belivin’ that I could love her and watch my back at the same time. I
cain’t! I get too wrapped up in her. I mean I’d even started noticin’
other things around me….the way the sun highlights some things and puts
others in shadows…how pretty a rainbow really is if you take the time
to look at all the colors....how happy it makes me feel when Sarah’s
students laugh at something funny....oh God, Melissa. How could I have
let her take that bullet? How?”
“Darn it Jimmy! What the heck is so wrong about all you just told me?
Why can’t you be aware of the nice things in the world? The things that
other people take for granted? What’s wrong with the fact that you fell
in love? You’ve just experienced the happiest weeks of your entire
life, and it was because of this lady. Would you rather that they had
never happened? Because I know Sarah. Even if in the beginning she had
known this would have happened to her, she never would have passed up
the chance to love you. You think about that! And I’m telling
you....she’s gonna live! Sarah ain’t going to leave you!”
Jimmy stared down at the lady they’d been talking about. Would he give
it all up, if he knew that no harm would have come to her?
“You’re rite.” He stated softly. “These have been the happiest weeks of
my entire life. She’s changed everything for me. She’s shown me what’s
possible in this world. She’s made me into a different person. But I
would give it all up if this had never happened.”
“You’re impossible Hickok!” was all Melissa said to him.
Noah and Ike chose that moment to come in and check on her. Melissa
filled them in on what was going on. The doc came in and examined the
wound and changed the bloody dressing. Teaspoon came by also, but as
dawn broke the sky, it was still Melissa and Jimmy keeping vigil.
Buck welcomed the morning sun an instant before it made its appearance.
An eagle screamed at him from the sky, and he smiled towards it. He had
finally received the answer he’d been praying for. He thanked the
spirits for listening to him and gathered some berries to eat on the
way back for breakfast.
Cody, not expecting anyone to be up, was surprised to see everyone
moving around as he pulled up from his ride. He threw the pouch to Kid,
and hopped off his horse.
“What’s goin’ on, Noah?” he asked quickly, feeling exhausted from
riding all night.
He didn’t miss the look that Noah threw at Ike and Lou. Lou came over
to him.
“Cody’s, there’s been a shootin’,” she told him.
“Jimmy?” he asked, noticing he wasn’t there.
“No…Sarah.”
“Sarah! Where is she? Is she alive?” he asked as he started to run back
to his horse.
“Cody…wait…” Lou yelled as he jumped on the horse.’
“Where is she?” he asked again, his heart in his throat.
“At the docs,” was all Lou could get out before he took off.
“I think she looks better!” Melissa smiled at Jimmy as she felt Sarah’s
forehead. “She’s still not running a fever and that’s a very good sign.
Her breathing is all right. I don’t think her wound is bleeding very
much.”
Melissa didn’t think that Jimmy had taken his eyes off Sarah for more
than a minute at any given time. She could tell that he was willing her
to live.
“Yeah, I think so too,” he agreed with a small smile.
The door banged open, and they both jumped.
“What happened?” Cody demanded as he came in and fell down on his knees
by the bed. “Oh God…Sarah,” was all he said as he reached out a hand
and stroked her hair.
Because he felt the same way, he could see all of Cody’s love pouring
out to Sarah. He couldn’t even summon the energy to be jealous! And did
he really want to be?
“We was walkin’ from church and talkin’. She saw somethin’ I didn’t -
the barrel of a gun pointed at me. She screamed and pushed me outta the
way. She took my bullet.”
“Did he get away?” Cody asked feeling murder in his heart for this
unknown man.
“No,” was all Jimmy said. “He’s dead.”
“What does the doc say?” he asked Melissa.
“He left her in God’s hands, but Jimmy and I think she’ll wake up soon.
We think she’s doin’ better.”
“You shore?” He asked skeptically.
“We’re sure,” she said as the door opened yet again, and Buck came in.
“Mornin’,” he smiled. “It’s gonna be a pretty day.”
“Why are you so damned cheerful?” Cody demanded.
Buck walked over to the bedside as he smiled at Melissa.
“Because the Spirits told me that Sarah will be jist fine! I believe
them!”
“But how can you be shore they talked to you?” Jimmy asked him, looking
up at Buck for any assurance.
Buck realized they were all looking at him.
“They always talk to me,” he told them. “I know how to listen to them.”
“They talked to me too. I’m okay,” they heard Sarah’s voice croak.
“Sarah!” They all yelled, as if one, they all turned back to her. She
was definitely awake.
“Baby…how are you? How do you feel?” Jimmy asked as he grabbed her hand.
“My side hurts, and I feel so tired, but I’m going to be alright. I’m
sorry if I worried everyone.”
“Sarah…you shouldn’t have done what you did!” Jimmy scolded her.
Sarah slowly reached her hand out to Jimmy’s face and caressed it.
“I love you. I won’t watch you die. Now there won’t be anymore talk of
it!” She turned towards Cody.
“Hi Cody! Why do you look so worried? Hi Melissa…Buck, you were
there…,” she yawned.
“We was jist a little scared!” Cody told her with his charming smile.
“No need to be,” she assured him.
“I’m so glad you’re back with us,” Melissa told her with a gentle hug.
“Come on Cody...Buck. Let’s leave Jimmy alone with her.”
Jimmy gave her a grateful smile.
“Buck, can we talk later?” Sarah asked him.
“Sure, when you get stronger,” he told her.
Sarah watched them leave, and then turned back to Jimmy.
“Are we at doc’s?”
“Yeah, I love you so much! You had me scared! Sarah…we have to talk
about it.”
She sighed as she winced with pain.
“Tell me who was pointing the gun at you.”
“His name don’t matter, Sarah. He was out to make a name for hisself by
gunnin’ me down. Instead you got in the way. I killed him, then carried
you over here. The doc took the bullet out and stopped the bleedin’ as
best he could. Buck’s been out prayin’ for you all nite, and Melissa’s
been here with me. The others have checked in during the nite. Cody
jist got here from his ride.”
“Oh, so it’s like you told me things would go,” she stated softly.
“Sarah, it was all my fault. I let my guard down. Bein’ with you, well,
I wanted to forgit that part of my life, and I did for a time. That
brought it all back. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I hope you
can forgive me someday!”
Sarah’s heart went out to him. He was holding her hand in his two
larger ones. It looked as if he had aged ten years since this had
happened to her. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face
was covered with beard stubble.
“There’s absolutely nothing to forgive. I don’t hold this against you.
You made me very aware of the risks before we started together. I love
you, Jimmy. That’s all that matters to me.”
Jimmy looked at the lady that was more precious to him than life itself.
“You don’t understand, Sarah. If you had died, life wouldn’t mean
nothin’ no more to me. You getting shot was never part of the deal….”
At that moment, the doc walked in.
“Ah…my patient is awake. Jimmy if you don’t mind, I’d like to examine
her if you could wait outside.”
“Shore. I’ll come back in as soon as doc lets me,” he told Sarah as she
smiled up at him.
Feeling like he had lead in his boots, he went out to doc’s porch.
“Lou!” he stated, surprised to see her. He sat down heavily in the
chair next to hers.
“How is she?”
“Awake. Buck’s rite. She’s gonna be alrite!”
Lou looked closely at his face.
“What are you thinkin’ Jimmy Hickok?”
“Words gonna git out that I killed someone else. Words also gonna git
out that I have a lady, and how I acted when she got shot!”
“Go on…”
“This is all jist gonna add to my reputation, Lou. You know that.”
“I know that. What are you sayin’ Jimmy?” she repeated.
He turned to her, all his feelings for his lady written on his face.
“I love Sarah more than life itself. Having this happen has near killed
me. Lou, there will be others coming for her. The best thing for me to
do is leave here, draw them off of her.”
Unfortunately, Lou knew the truth of what he was saying. She could also
feel the agony this decision was costing him.
“How long will you be gone, Jimmy?”
“As long as it takes for them to believe she don’t mean nothin’ to me.
I cain’t be part of her life no more, Lou. It will only git her killed.”
“Jimmy…remember Elias?”
Jimmy’s thoughts went back to an outlaw he and Lou had escorted to his
hanging. On the trail he had gotten to know him well and found out that
he wasn’t as guilty as people thought he was.... that there were good
reasons for what he had done in his life. Jimmy had wanted to let him
go free, but Elias wouldn’t let him. He knew it was time to die.
“Yeah, so?”
“Remember how he left his Elizabeth behind and how his daughter
Carolina never knew that he was her father?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t turn into another Elias. He always regretted that part of his
life…just like you’re gonna regret leavin’ Sarah behind. She gave you
your life back Jimmy. She's been so good for you.”
“So, I’m supposed to stay and let her be used against me? Let her be
killed?”
“No. I suppose not,” she stated feeling suddenly very sad. She knew she
was about to lose this man for a while if not forever. He had always
been very dear to her. “What about Cody? He’ll try again!”
That thought cut through him like a knife.
“I always did say he would be better for her.”
Lou watched a tear go down Jimmy’s cheek. She didn’t think he even
realized it. This was all going to cost him a lot.
“Don’t you go tellin’ Sarah until she’s feelin’ much better. You do it
now, and she might never get better. And don’t you go actin’ different
neither.”
“I’ll try not to, Lou. I’m gonna have to grow eyes in the back a my
head to protect her until I leave. After I leave, the rest a you will
have to until everyone finds out that I’ve left here.”
“You know that we will. If she don’t go with Cody, I don’t think she’ll
stick around here. She’ll probably go back to Boston.”
“Probably” he agreed.
Sarah’s one question was if she was still pregnant, but she couldn’t
bring herself to ask the doc about it. She still felt like she was.
Wouldn’t she know if she wasn’t? He told her that she would need to
stay in bed and rest for at least a week, and after that he would let
her know when she could get up.
“I swear if this keeps up, I’m never going to want to do something for
myself again!” Sarah declared to Melissa. It was near the end of the
week, and she had been moved back to her home. Melissa had moved in
with her so she could care for her, and Jimmy had never been very far
away. Melissa thought that he was very jumpy, and his hand would go to
his gun at the very least little sound. At night, he’d been sleeping on
the sofa, not wanting to disturb Sarah.
“I know you better than that!” she declared. “You’re just itching to
get up and do for yourself. Well you can’t! Not for another three days
anyway!”
Sarah pretended to pout.
“I can’t understand why they won’t let me up. I feel just fine!”
Melissa sat down next to her bed.
“The doc wants to make sure you stay that way. Now, isn’t it great that
Ike and Emily are getting married right after school lets out for the
summer?”
“I think it’s wonderful. Whenever they’ve come over to see me, they’ve
looked so much in love! She understands him so well, and really picked
up on his sign language. You can’t get those two to shut up!”
“Isn’t that the truth? Did Lou tell you that she and Kid would leave
after the wedding to go pick up her sister and brother at the
orphanage?”
“Yes. She’s so excited about it too! I’m so happy for them! Melissa…can
you do a favor for me?”
“Of course.”
“Jimmy has been here every minute of the day ever since I was shot. See
if you can get him to go out with you for a ride or something. He won’t
listen to me, but he needs to get out of here for a while. Buck could
sit with me in case he’s worried about anything.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“I bet Buck hates that you’re here with me, and you haven’t been able
to go to your cabin!”
“He’ll survive, plus I haven’t wanted to go up there with him until I
talk to Teaspoon about it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember the night the four of us were there? Well, Buck and I stayed
there all night, and when I came in just before dawn, I realized that
Teaspoon had been waiting up for me all night. I need to talk to him
and get some things straight, and until I do, I can’t go up there.”
“Oh...well, he is your father. I’d hate to see what my father would say
to me, if he knew everything I’d been doing the past few weeks. I’d
probably get disowned…not that Teaspoon would ever do that to you.”
“I know.” Melissa agreed as they heard a commotion from the living
room. She smiled. “Sounds like Buck!”
“Perfect timing to take Jimmy out for fresh air!” she said as Jimmy and
Buck came into the room.
“What’s this about me going out for fresh air?” He asked her as he
leaned down to kiss her.
“You’ve been by my side for the past week. You need to get out for
awhile, so I thought you and Melissa could go for a ride.”
“No. What if you needed me?”
“Buck will stay and keep me company, won’t you Buck?”
“Shore. I’ll take care of her while you two are gone. I think that’s a
great idea, Jimmy.”
Jimmy knew when he was outvoted, but he hated to leave her. What if
someone came looking for her?
“You watch her close now!” he ordered Buck as Melissa took his hand and
dragged him out the door.
“I will. I won’t let anyone get near her!” He called after them.
He sat down on the chair Melissa had just vacated.
“How ya doin’?” he asked her fondly as he squeezed her hand.
“I want to get up and start moving around! I feel fine....still a bit
sore, but that will go away. Buck…I’ve been wanting to talk to you
about the day I got shot.”
“Talk,” he told her as he continued to hold her hand.
“I felt like I was in a world of dreams. Sometimes coming very close to
waking up, but not being quite able to. Through it all, I felt
protected, safe, and at one point I felt like I had a part of you in
me. You were there with me, helping me through the world of dreams and
bringing me back into this world. I know it sounds strange, but you
look like you know what I’m talking about.”
“I was prayin’ hard for you. I tried to give you my energy so that you
could use that to come back. I knew you would be okay. The spirits sent
an eagle to tell me.”
She smiled at him.
“Thank you again for taking care of me. It seems that somehow you
always do. One day you will have to let me return the favor.”
“You already have. You woke up. Maybe in another week you can go back
to teachin’.”
“I hope so. Who’s running the school while I’m gone?”
“Rachel is. She used to teach the kids here before you came. So she’s
doin’ it again.”
“Then who’s takin’ care of you riders?”
“Teaspoon and Cody. The rest of us help out too.”
She laughed. “That must be something! How’s Cody doing? He was so
concerned that morning I woke up.”
“He was. He’s fine...always askin’ me how you are.”
“Then tell him to come see me. I’d really like to see him. Do you think
Jimmy would mind?”
“No....I think the worst is over between those two.”
“Good. That’s how it should be. I hated coming between them. So…when
are you going to make an honest woman out of Melissa?”
She watched him blush, and she laughed.
“Soon, I hope. It depends on how things go around here. I want it to
settle down a little before I ask her.”
“That would probably be a good idea.” She agreed as she reached for his
hand. “I love you, Buck. Thanks for bringing my spirit back!”
“You would have done it for me,” he blushed. “I love you too. I don’t
want you to leave me-at least not for a very long time!”
“You know that we never know what the future holds, Buck,” she told
him, thinking about the baby she was carrying. “We go where the spirits
want us to be.”
His face wore a hint of a smile as he looked at her.
“Well, I’m tellin’ them that I want you here for the next fifty years!”
“Jimmy, why are you so quiet?” Melissa asked him as they walked their
horses back to Rock Creek.
“Jist doin’ some thinkin’,” was his reply. For in truth he had been
thinking about his conversation with Lou that he’d had a week ago. It’s
all that he had been thinking about, not really wanting to think about
it. The last thing in the world that he wanted to do was leave Sarah
behind forever.
“Come on Hickok! You look so sad, so whatever you’re thinking about
ain’t good. If you’re worried about Sarah, she’s doing much better. The
doc is gonna let her get up and around very soon. Life can return to
normal.”
“No it cain’t!” He practically shouted it at her. “Don’t you understand
anything, Melissa? Last Sunday was jist the start of it! Have you
forgotten what it is I’m supposed to be? What everyone seems to think I
am? Me killin’ that outlaw will jist add to it once again, and each
time this tale gits told, it will git bigger, and bigger. And what do
you think they’re a gonna be sayin’ bout Sarah?”
“Oh, so that’s it? That’s why you’ve been so jumpy, always going for
your gun! That’s why you’ve been insisting on sleeping in the front
room by the door, ain’t it?”
“Yes”, he sighed. “More are comin’. I jist don’t know when.”
“Oh Jimmy,” Melissa stated wanting to cry. “What does this all mean?
And be honest with me.”
“The longer I stay here, the more dangerous it is for Sarah. I’ve
talked to Lou and she agrees with me. I got to leave here. I need to
draw these outlaws off her trail. I need to make them think that Sarah
ain’t important to me!”
“And how long do you have to be gone?” she asked quietly as she stopped
her horse. He also stopped his.
“As long as it takes.”
“What if you get killed?”
“I’d rather it be me than Sarah. And quit lookin’ at me like that!” he
told her. He drew his eyes away from her. She looked like he felt…like
she would start bawling given half the chance.
“When will you tell her?”
“When she’s up and around. So don’t you give nothin’ away, Melissa.”
“I won’t. You know this will hurt her bad, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know what else to do. Melissa, you got to promise me
somethin’.”
“Anything, Jimmy.”
“You’re got to watch out for her for me. Make her understand that she
has to leave here and go back to Boston.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem. As soon as she finds out you’re
leaving, she won’t want to be here. Jimmy, what’s this gonna do to you?”
“I’ll survive.”
“No…Sarah brought you alive.... now you’re gonna go back to the way you
were before only worse. You gotta promise me something too.”
“What’s that?”
“You gotta promise me to really try to stay alive. You ain’t gonna want
to because you won’t have Sarah anymore, but you have to promise me
that you are going to do all you can to stay alive. Because if you
died, Sarah would know, and that would kill her quicker than anything
else you could do to her.”
This was the last thing in the world that he wanted to promise, but he
knew that she would give him a hard time if he didn’t. And just because
he promised didn’t mean that he really had to keep it.
“I promise, Melissa. Now can we go back? I don’t have much time with
her.”
“Alright.”
Cody stood quietly in the doorway, looking at Sarah who appeared to be
sleeping. He couldn’t believe it when Buck had told him that she had
wanted to see him. Did Jimmy know just how lucky he was?
“Cody! How long have you been standing there?” she asked him as she
pushed herself up, yawning. “Look how lazy I’m becoming! Come over here
and sit down. I think you’ve arrived in time for lunch. Knowing
Melissa, she’s fixing something wonderful!”
Cody gingerly walked over, taking his hat off as he sat down.
“How you feelin’? You look better, Sarah.”
“I’m feeling fine. Doc came by this morning and told me that I can get
up and walk around tomorrow for a bit. I’m excited about that. By this
time next week, I’ll be teaching my class again. I’m so glad that
Rachel has been filling in for me. I would have hated for the children
to get out of the habit of attending school before summer comes along
and does it for me.”
“Yeah, I guess what with spring here, that’s all they’re thinkin’ bout.
I know that’s the way that I felt when I was a kid,” he smiled.
“I appreciate the fact that you’ve been asking about me,” she smiled
back at him.
He looked a little embarrassed.
“I was really worried about you. Love don’t just get turned off, you
know.”
Sarah reached out to squeeze his hand.
“I know, Cody. I’m such a lucky woman to have good friends like you.
What would I do without you?”
“I hope that you never find out!” he told her warmly as he gazed
seriously into her eyes.
Yes, this man could still set her heart a flutter.
“You stayin’ for lunch, Cody?” Melissa asked as she stuck her head into
the room.
“Of course he is!” Sarah stated before he could say anything. “Is Jimmy
around?”
That look went across Melissa’s face again at the mention of Jimmy’s
name. Lately it seemed whenever his name came up in conversation, she
got the strangest look. She’d have to ask her about it when they were
alone together.
“He’s sitting in the kitchen keeping me company while Cody’s in here
with you.”
“How bout if I come out there and eat with you all? Doc said I could
get up tomorrow, but I’m tired of sitting in bed. Walking into the
kitchen won’t hurt me.”
“I’ll tell Jimmy, and he’ll carry you in,” Melissa replied.
“No....please, Cody.... tell her I’m fine!” Sarah begged.
“She’s fine Melissa. I’ll help her in,” he said as he stood up and held
out his hand.
Sarah gave him a grateful smile as she took his hand and leaned on his
arm as she slowly came to a standing position. She swayed a bit, and
Cody quickly put his arm around her waist to steady her.
“What are you doing?” they all heard Jimmy ask from the doorway.
“Sarah!”
“Don’t sound so upset with me, Jimmy. I just can’t stand to be in that
bed anymore. Cody’s helping me walk to the kitchen so I can eat lunch
with everyone else. I’m fine, Cody, let’s go,” was all she said.
Jimmy recognized the steely look in her eyes and knew to back down.
After all, shouldn’t she know when she felt all right to get up?
“I don’t know about this,” Melissa stated.
“She’s fine,” Jimmy reassured her as he put his arm around her
shoulders and steered her towards the kitchen. He snuck another look at
Cody and Sarah. This was the way he should have left it. If she had
stayed with Cody, she wouldn’t have gotten shot. If she had stayed with
Cody, he wouldn’t have to leave her. How would he survive without
seeing her every day? How? And who’s to say that she wouldn’t go with
Cody after he left? No....she had to go back to Boston. She wouldn’t be
safe here. Hopefully Cody would realize that on his own.
Lunch was pleasant, and after, Cody had to leave to do chores, and
Sarah sent Melissa out for a while to get some fresh air.
“So that just leaves you and me,” she said looking at the love of her
life as she stood up to walk to the living room.
“I kinda like that,” Jimmy told her as he helped her to the loveseat.
He sat down closely next to her, keeping his arm around her. She laid
her head on his shoulder.
“I do too. Do you know how long it’s been since you and I have gotten
to sit together? How long it’s been since you and I have made love with
each other?”
“Too long.” He smiled down at her.
“I’m doing much better. I think that I’ll tell Melissa that she can get
back to her life now. She’s given me so much of her time, and I know
that Buck would like to have her back all to himself. And as far as
that goes, you don’t have to be hanging around me for every minute of
every day anymore. I’m doing just fine. Next week I’ll be back to
teaching again. I know that the others have been taking your rides and
chores, but I think it’s time that we all return to our normal lives.”
Jimmy sighed. Now still wasn’t the time to tell her.
“Not yet. Jist humor me for a little while longer.”
“Okay…just a little while longer. All this attention from you has been
wonderful.”
Jimmy closed his eyes as he breathed in her scents. He tried to etch
upon his memory the way she felt in his arms.... how soft she was…how
perfect she fit.
Melissa took a deep breath as she stopped near the Marshall’s office
door. She could see Teaspoon through the windows; the door was open and
welcoming. This was something she’d been putting off, but she couldn’t
do it any longer. Sarah was getting better, which meant that she and
Buck would start spending their time together again. She had to clear
the air.
“Well, are you gonna stand out there all day, or are you gonna come in
and give me a hug?” he finally called out to her. He could tell that
her mind had been a hundred miles away.
“I’m coming in to give you a hug!” She smiled as she went in and did
just that. As always, his hug made her feel very loved.
“Why ain’t you with Miss Sarah?” he asked quizzically.
“She kicked me out,” she laughed. “She decided it was time for her to
get up and out of bed. Just between you and me, I think that she wanted
to spend some alone time with Jimmy.”
Teaspoon watched, as suddenly Melissa seemed very agitated. She began
to chew on her bottom lip.
“And that has you worried? Jimmy won’t hurt her none. He loves that gal
too much.”
“No, I know that he won’t physically hurt her, but…oh heck…I’m not
supposed to say anything. He swore me to secrecy!”
“Something’s botherin’ you bout Jimmy, ain’t it? I’m purty good bout
keepin’ secrets,” he tried to assure her.
“I know you are…Teaspoon?”
“Yeah?” he asked her as she paced around the office.
“What’s the chances of some more outlaws coming to gun for Jimmy after
what happened here last week? And would they come to try and
deliberately hurt Sarah?”
“This only adds to the Wild Bill Hickok legend, Melissa. Instead of one
man, they’ll say that he killed three or even five men! Everyone saw
how upset he was cause of Miss Sarah. Word will likely git round bout
that too. These outlaws are not gentlemen. Whatever it takes to git to
Jimmy, even if it means usin’ Miss Sarah…well, I won’t put it past
them.”
“I was afraid you were going to say that. That’s what Jimmy told me
too. He’s afraid for Sarah, Teaspoon.”
“He should be, but I know’d he’ll take care of her.”
“I think that he knows that he can’t be with her every minute of every
day. And she wouldn’t allow it anyway. You know her, Teaspoon.”
“Yeah. I know. Jimmy’s told you he’s leavin’, ain’t he?” he sighed.
“Yes.”
“And Miss Sarah don’t know yet?”
“No, he doesn’t want to tell her until she’s a little better, but he’s
worried that the longer he’s here, the better the chances are of them
showing up. He’s made me promise to ship her back to Boston so that
she’ll be where no one can get their hands on her.”
“Does he plan to see her again?”
“No…”
“Then he’s plannin’ on getting’ hisself kilt! Tarnation!” Teaspoon
swore as he joined her in her pacing.
“I made him promise he wouldn’t do that.”
Teaspoon wasn’t about to tell her that Jimmy had probably lied to her.
“That’s somethin’ anyways. This will kill Miss Sarah.”
“I know,” she sighed heavily. “Isn’t there anything that we can do to
make it better here so that he can stay?”
“I doubt it. Jimmy knows the score here. I’ll talk to him. Now.... is
that why you came to see me?”
“Noooo…” she said suddenly feeling very weary. She sat down heavily in
one of her father’s chairs.
“What is it?” he asked her as he pulled up a chair next to hers.
“You and I haven’t had a chance to talk since before Sarah got shot.”
“That’s true, but what with you takin’ care of Miss Sarah, and Rachel
teachin’ the young uns, and Cody and me takin’ care of the station,
well, we’ve all been purty busy!” He smiled at her as he took her hand
and squeezed it.
“True.” She said suddenly feeling a bit tongue-tied.
Teaspoon sat and patiently waited for his daughter to begin. There was
obviously something on her mind.
“I love Buck, Teaspoon.”
He smiled. “I knows that. He tells me that he loves you too! He asked
you to get married yet?”
“No…but that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life. I want
that too. I know that when the time is right, he’ll propose to me, but
it’s not that time yet. Too much has been going on.”
“That’s true,” he agreed.
“Teaspoon?’
“Yes?”
“That night at the cabin…the one where Buck and I stayed up at his
cabin most of the night. I came in Rachel’s kitchen after I got back
and found a coffee pot on the stove and two mugs in the sink. Were you
waiting up for me?”
Teaspoon had the grace to look a little embarrassed.
“Yeah. Rachel talked me into going to bed when you got home.”
“If she hadn’t, what were you going to say to me?” she asked him softly.
“I was gonna say that I loved you…that I was proud you was my
daughter....that I didn’t want you and Buck’s first child conceived as
you was…I was worried bout you.”
“Oh Teaspoon, that’s so sweet, but what was wrong about the way my
mother got pregnant? I know that she loved you. You loved her…”
“But if your daddy hadn’t come along and married your ma, she woulda
had to raise you on her own. That would have been hard.”
“Buck would never desert me, Teaspoon. You know that. I can’t not be
with him.”
“I knows that.” He sighed softly, for he did. He would have stayed with
Maria for a lifetime if it had been possible.
“So, I’m not asking for your blessing because I know you’re not happy
about it. But I need to know that you aren’t going to give me a hard
time.”
“I won’t do that....give you a hard time ‘n all.”
“Thank you. I do love you so very much!” Melissa told him, relieved
about it now that it was out in the open. “It will all work out in the
end.”
“I know that. I love you too, Melissa. After your ma, you’re the best
thing that ever happened to me!”
She kissed his cheek, and with a smile, left him. She needed to go and
find Buck.
Within the next few days, Sarah made a remarkable recovery. It didn’t
take her long to get her energy back, and not long after that before
she began to work on her lesson plans for the following week. Jimmy
watched her as she bent over her workbooks, planning what she would be
teaching the children next week. He looked at her longingly. It had
been wonderful making love to her again. If anything, it had felt
better than before. Had it all been worth loving her....finding out
what it would feel like?
Something made her look up from her books. Jimmy was watching her
intently. The look on his face was one of longing, but she wasn’t sure
if was because he physically wanted her. She’d seen this look on his
face more and more as the days passed by. What was causing it? And
there seemed to be a cloud of sadness hanging over him. The few times
she had mentioned it to Melissa, her friend had quickly changed the
subject....telling her it was all in her mind. Was it?
“I’ve had enough for one day, Jimmy. You about ready for bed?” She
asked him.
“If you are,” he replied as he put down the book he had been pretending
to read and came over quickly to help her up.
Sarah allowed herself to be pulled into his arms. She wrapped herself
tightly around him and kissed him long and deep. She could feel the
surrender in his body as he began to return her kisses, each more
passionate than the one before. Jimmy easily picked her up and carried
her to their bed. Tonight, she decided would be the night she told him
about their baby.
Melissa laid close against Buck, listening to the sound of his
heartbeat, as it slowed down. They had just made love, and she felt
very content and safe in his arms. All she wanted to do was fall asleep
here and not worry about having to wake up until the dawn came. And
after that, all she wanted was to wake up here with Buck every morning
after that...just the two of them, away from all the others.
“You’re awfully quiet,” he said into her ear before he kissed it.
But as much as she wanted that, she wasn’t about to put thoughts in his
head. He would ask her to get married in the right time and not before.
“I was just thinking about how much I love being here with you. It’s so
nice and peaceful. We don’t have to worry about Cody busting in,” she
giggled.
“That’s true. I like being here with you too. How is Sarah doing?”
“You’ve been seeing her. I think you know that she’s doing great. She’s
working on her lesson plans so that she can go back to teaching next
week.”
“Good! No more of Cody’s or Teaspoon’s cookin’! It’s been pretty
horrible!”
“You have no reason to complain, Buck Cross. You’re been eating most of
your meals with me, Sarah and Jimmy!”
“That’s true! Um...now that she’s feelin’ better, do you think that she
and Jimmy will be getting married?”
Melissa was dying to tell him the truth of what Jimmy’s real plans
were. But she had already told Teaspoon. She couldn’t breach Jimmy’s
trust in her one more time.
“He hasn’t told me if he’s planning to ask her. I guess we’ll all find
out whenever he does. Now, I’ve got a lot of plans for you!” she stated
evilly as she rolled over on top of him and began to wreck havoc on his
body. She wanted to get off the subject of Jimmy and Sarah.
Jimmy held Sarah closely against him, running his hand up and down her
arm. Tell her now! His mind screamed at him.
“Jimmy?”
“Hmm?” he asked as he kissed the top of her head.
“Is something on your mind? You seem so preoccupied lately.”
“I have to leave Sarah.” There! It was finally out.
“Leave? Oh, you mean start going on your rides again? I can understand
that. And I think it’s about time that you do that since I’m going back
to teaching next week.”
Oh God! She had misunderstood him.
“No, Sarah…I’m taking time off from the Pony Express. I have to talk to
Teaspoon. I have to leave Rock Creek. I have to leave you.”
Alarmed, Sarah sat up quickly in bed to look at him.
“Leave me? But I know that you love me. I love you, Jimmy. Why are you
leaving me? Forever?”
He felt like someone was stabbing him with a knife repeatedly as he saw
the look of shock and disbelief cover her face. He grabbed both of her
hands and held on as if he were drowning.
“Sarah, that man I killed because he shot you…you know what my supposed
reputation is. I’m Wild Bill Hickok. The fastest gun in the West. I’ve
killed 22 men, and I’m sure this latest kill will add at least another
five to that. There were plenty of people on the street that saw what
happened. They saw how upset I was because you got hit. Word of that
will get around too. Wild Bill has gone soft! Wild Bill has
hisself a girl. Now will be the time to come and draw on Wild
Bill because he lost his touch. His lady friend had to save him. So
they’re all gonna come lookin’ for me and in the lookin’ they’ll find
you too. Sarah, I have to draw them away from here. I have to make them
believe that I don’t love you. That you mean nothin’ to me. I have to
leave you and I have to leave your life. I told you that I shouldn’t of
fallen in love. Do you believe me now?” He asked her in agony. Tears
were going down his face.
And as much as she wanted to yell at him, to beg him, to chastise him,
she knew every word he spoke was the truth.
“So loving me wasn’t worth it?” she asked as tears began to spill out
of her eyes.
“Oh baby...I only regret that you got hurt. Lovin’ you was the best
thing that ever happened in my life! You showed me what the sunshine
could be like. You showed me how to see things for the first time. You
showed me that it’s okay to love another human. No, I don’t regret any
of that, Sarah…never. I jist don’t know how I’m going to live my life
without you!”
“I don’t know how I’m going to do that either. When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning. I’ve stayed here too long already.”
“Oh, Jimmy…...” Now she could never tell them about their baby.
“Promise me something….”
“Anything.”
“Do your best to stay alive for me. Maybe when we’re old and gray, we
can be together.”
“I’ll promise that, if you promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“When the school year is over, you’ll move back to Boston where you’ll
be safe.”
“Boston? But my home is here….out west. I love it here. Boston could
never be home for me again.”
“Promise me, Sarah!”
She sighed. She was single and pregnant. Where else could she go and
concoct some lie about how she got the way she was? Who said that she
couldn’t come back some day?
“I promise,” she said tonelessly.
“I will always love you Sarah. I will always carry you in my heart!” he
told her as he reached for her and held her as she sobbed her heart
out. She didn’t want to live if it meant never seeing this man again.
How was she going to do this?
As each hour passed, Jimmy felt as if he died a little more. Sarah
couldn’t seem to stop crying. He knew that she was trying to be brave,
and he loved her all the more for it. They loved each other over and
over, but it didn’t make the hurt any less. And as dawn broke, he
finally pulled away from her. He had to get dressed, get his things
together, and talk to Teaspoon.
“It’s time?” She asked him softly.
“Yeah,” he told her simply as he pulled his clothes on.
Sarah pulled her wrap on, and watched him this one last time. She tried
to memorize it so that she could pull it out and treasure it many
months from how. Too soon, Jimmy was standing before her. She was
seeing him as she had once first seen him many months ago. Tall, lean,
with two Colts worn low, dark hat pulled low on his forehead, brown
hair flowing over his shoulders…eyes smoldering...their depths
unknown…dark, leather gloves on his hands.
“Sarah…I love you so much. Don’t listen none to the rumors that you
mite hear about me.”
“I won’t. I know what’s in your heart. I know the man that you are.
Carry my love with you always.”
“I will,” he told her as he reached for her and hugged her as tightly
as he dared. Then he kissed her one last time, and made himself back
away from her.
“One day, Jimmy Hickok, you and I WILL be together!”
“Don’t allow yourself to believe that Sarah,” he warned her.
He saw the determination in her chin...the glint in her eye…the
stubborn set of her shoulders…yes, this was his Sarah! He had to smile.
“Maybe if you believed it, Jimmy, it just might happen. But it’s okay
if you don’t believe it. I’ll believe it enough for both of us!” She
smiled back at him, determined that his last memory of her would not be
her crying.
He chose not to answer that. He just pointed a gloved finger at her.
“Boston…remember you promised!”
“And you’re gonna stay alive for me!” she reminded him.
“Goodbye, Sarah!” he sighed as he turned and walked out of the house.
He wouldn’t think about it…not right now. He had too much to do.
Sarah waited until she was sure he was gone. Then she collapsed where
she stood, hugged her belly, and began to cry all over again.
Jimmy very quietly packed up his few possessions; left a farewell note
for Lou, saddled his horse, and led him over to Rachel’s. He wasn’t
surprised to see Teaspoon sitting on the porch holding two cups of
coffee. As Jimmy approached, he held one of them out to him. Jimmy
gratefully took it and sat down on the top step.
“So you’re leavin’?” Teaspoon finally asked.
“I got to,” he replied in the clipped manner Teaspoon was so familiar
with.
Teaspoon’s heart was filled with sadness. Of all the riders, this was
the one that had given him the most problems in the beginning, but this
was also the one he had grown closest to. Here was the one who had
matured the most...let his anger go for the most part. Here was the one
that he didn’t want to let go.
“I know son. How’s Miss Sarah takin’ this?”
“Not very well. I made her promise to go back to Boston when the school
year is over. She ain’t gonna wanna go Teaspoon. You have to see that
she does.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“And you have to make sure she’s protected until she leaves.”
“You can ease your mind on that, Jimmy. We’ll take care of her.
Nuthin’s gonna happen to her afore she sets foot on that stage.”
“Thanks.” He smiled a he took a large gulp of coffee. He set the cup
down and stood up, as did Teaspoon. They walked to his horse.
“You take care, son. Will you be back?”
“Maybe in a couple months,” was the reply.
“We’ll be waitin’ for you,” he told him as he grabbed him in a hug.
“We’ll miss you.”
Jimmy looked into Teaspoon’s damp eyes. His felt pretty damp too.
“Thanks, Teaspoon” he said as he swung himself up on his horse.
“Watch your back!” Teaspoon called after him as he rode off. Jimmy
waved a hand in acknowledgement.
Jimmy had one more stop to make before he left. He rode up to the
miner’s cabin. Buck hadn’t been in the bunkhouse, and he had to talk to
Buck. Buck, with all his skill and his closeness to Sarah, would be the
one to watch over her until she left. He pulled up and dismounted. So
many memories were associated with this place. He knocked on the door.
“Buck!” he called out. He knew that Melissa was there also, so he
pulled up a rocker and sat down. It didn’t take him too long to come
out. He’d pulled on a pair of pants over his long johns. He ran a hand
through his hair before he pulled a chair up to Jimmy.
“What’s happenin’?” Buck asked him. “You look like you’re goin’
somewhere.”
“I am. I have to leave, Buck. I’ve jist told Sarah goodbye!”
“Oh no…why? Sarah…how’s she holdin’ up?”
“You already know the why. Sarah’s not doin’ real well. I need you and
Melissa to go over and stay with her until she’d doin’ better. You have
to promise me that you’ll move in and stay with her and protect her.
They’ll come gunnin’ for her too cause she’s been linked with me.
They’ll think she knows where I went. She’s promised me she’ll go back
to Boston. Until she does, you cain’t leave her.”
“Boston! NO! Jimmy ...she don’t want to go to Boston!”
“No…you don’t want her to go to Boston. Promise me, Buck. It’s too
dangerous for her to stay here.”
“Jimmy, you don’t understand. She’s part of my spirit. I mean I love
Melissa. She’s the one I want to live my life with, but Sarah, she’s
inside of me. I cain’t let her go. I can keep her safe here. I’ve got
the rest of the riders to help me.”
Jimmy stood up. “I don’t have time for this Buck. Melissa has promised
me, and Sarah has promised me. She’s goin’ back to Boston! I know how
close you two are. That’s why I’m askin’ you to watch over her for me.”
“Are you comin’ back? Will the two of you get back together?” Buck
asked as he stood up too.
“No, I cain’t be with any lady. This has only proved that. I’ll be back
in a few months. Please take care of her for me.”
“But I don’t think the townsfolk will be too happy if I move in with
her. It ain’t proper.”
“They’ll live with it,” he replied as he headed for his horse.
“James Butler Hickok! Weren’t you going to tell me goodbye?” Melissa
demanded as she came out, wrapped tightly in her robe.
He smiled his special smile at her. She could feel herself warmed from
her head to her toes.
“I hate goodbyes, Melissa.”
“Then how about see you later until you get back?”
“Okay,” he agreed as he hugged her tightly. “Don’t forget what you
promised.”
“I won’t. Don’t you forget either!”
“I won’t. Oh, I told Buck he has to move in with Sarah. Don’t give him
no hard time about it,” he told her as he swung himself into his
saddle. With a heavy heart, he rode quickly off.
“I can’t believe he’s really leaving!” Melissa sniffed. “And what’s
this about you moving in with Sarah?”
Buck wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into the rocking
chair with him. Too much was happening at once. Jimmy was gone…he’d
been charged with protecting her, she was supposed to go to Boston…NO!
“I don’t know about that, but we have to get dressed and go to Sarah.
She needs us rite now. When we get to Sarah’s, we can talk about the
next step.”
“She’s supposed to go to Boston, Buck.”
“Is that where you want her to go?”
“No.”
“Neither do I. We need to find some other solution then. Come on, let’s
go.”
Jimmy rode at a full gallop until he was away from Rock Creek and its
vicinity. He knew that he couldn’t think about anything that had
happened in the past. That would surely get him killed. But wasn’t that
what he wanted? Why go on? Something Melissa had told him went through
his head...that somehow Sarah would know and it would kill her. No...he
didn’t want anymore harm to come to Sarah. That meant he had to stay
alive. But he had to let the gunfighters and outlaws know that he
wasn’t anywhere around Rock Creek. He had to go a couple towns away,
find someone to call out. Word would get around that he wasn’t in Rock
Creek, yeah, that would work. Sarah was there immediately disapproving
of his plan, but Jimmy pushed her away. He knew that right now, he was
the fastest gun in the West. If he put his guard up, no one would be
able to sneak up on him or beat him.
Sarah was dimly aware that someone was knocking on her door. She didn’t
care. She didn’t want to see anyone. Maybe they would go away if she
didn’t go to the door.
“Sarah! It’s Buck and Melissa!” she heard through the door.
Oh...that was different. She picked herself up off the floor and dried
her face and eyes on the sleeve of her wrap. She went to the door and
opened it.
“Come on in,” she told them, trying to smile.
Melissa thought that Sarah looked horrible. Her face was swollen from
crying so much. Why had she felt so jealous when Jimmy had told her
that Buck was supposed to live here? How would she be feeling if she
were in Sarah’s place right now? Sarah would share Jimmy with her.
Melissa hugged her friend tightly and led her over to the sofa.
“Jimmy stopped by to tell us he was leaving. He wanted us to be with
you.”
“I should have known he would do that. I miss him already!” She sniffed.
“I feel so helpless, Sarah. I want to do something for you, but I know
all you want is Jimmy. Can I fix you some tea?”
“Yes, I think I would like that. While you’re doing that, I’m going to
get dressed. I must look awful!”
With a small smile, she went into her bedroom and closed the door. She
washed quickly, determined not to think about Jimmy. But her eye caught
the ring on her finger. Sarah reached to take it off. Why should she
take it off? She was going to believe that somehow, this whole thing
would be resolved and somehow she would live her life out with Jimmy.
Melissa must still be fussing over the tea, because Buck was alone in
the living room when she reappeared. He looked a bit nervous.
“Is this better?” She asked as she gave a little twirl.
“Yes.” He replied honestly. “Have you eaten yet?”
“I can’t say I’m hungry, Buck. What about you and Melissa?”
“No, we didn’t have time. I wanted to get to you.”
“That was sweet,” she smiled. “Which direction was he headed?”
“Does it really matter?” he asked.
“No, I guess not. Did he make you promise to send me back to Boston?”
“Yes...he made Teaspoon promise too. How do you feel about that?”
Melissa chose that moment to walk in with the tea tray. She poured a
cup for all of them.
“I don’t see where I have any other choice. If what Jimmy says is true,
there will be men coming to look for me. It’s not very safe for me
here. Plus he’s not here either.”
“He’ll be back,” Buck predicted.
“There’s something else, and now’s as good a time as any to get this
out in the open…”
“What’s that?” Melissa asked her.
Buck was immediately tuned into her. He could feel something in the
air, but he couldn’t read it. Something told him that he should already
know what she was going to say.
Sarah sighed softly as she took a bracing sip of tea. How would this go
over with her two best friends?
They were looking at her expectantly. Sarah took another deep breath.
“I’m pregnant!”
“Oh my God!” Melissa breathed.
“You didn’t tell Jimmy,” was Buck’s statement.
“What was the point? He had to leave. If I told him that, he would have
stayed and been all jumpy. He would have married me, not really wanting
to marry me. I don’t want that. So no, Buck, I didn’t tell him.
The way I see it, I can finish up the school year here. I figure that
I’ll be around my fourth month then. Then I’ll head back to Boston.
I’ll somehow find the words to tell my parents the truth, but tell all
their acquaintances that I was married here but my husband got killed.
They’ll feel sorry for me. I’ll play the grieving widow, which won’t be
a stretch for me since that’s what I feel like anyway, and it will all
work out. End of story.”
“No...that cain’t be the end of the story!” Buck stated soberly.
“Melissa and I don’t want you to leave. In your heart, you don’t want
to go back there. I don’t think that you would know how to live in that
world comfortably anymore,” Buck told her. “At least if you stayed
here, eventually Jimmy will come back and you can tell him about his
child. It’s only right, you know. Then the two of you can work out what
you want to do about it.”
“Buck! You’re not thinking here! A single and pregnant schoolteacher
won’t last very long here. They’d run her out of town on a rail!”
Melissa explained patiently.
“Exactly...which is why Boston is the only choice,” Sarah told him.
“What I want doesn’t figure into this.”
“Yes it does. You have an Indian spirit. Now that you’ve discovered
that, you won’t be able to live in a city. I need to think,” he
announced as he abruptly got up and left them.
Melissa shook her head. “Something tells me that he isn’t going to let
you leave here, Sarah. He wants to hold on tight to you. You’re the
only one that can see into his spirit, and he doesn’t want to lose
that.”
“How does that make you feel?” she asked her best friend.
“Don’t worry. I know that he loves me. Besides, I don’t want you to
leave either! Let’s just see what he comes up with. Now, how about
letting me fix you some breakfast. You’ve got to eat.”
“But I’m not hungry.”
“The baby is, and from now on, that has to be your first concern.”
“You’re right. Melissa?”
“Hmmm?”
“How am I going to do this without Jimmy? How can I go on from day to
day without Jimmy? I’m a part of him...he’s a part of me. How do I not
worry about him every second of every day? How?” Sarah asked as she
began to cry again.
“I don’t know, Sarah. If it’s any consolation, I imagine that Jimmy
feels the same way, except for the pregnant part,” she said as she
hugged her friend tightly.
“Why couldn’t I fall in love with Cody? If I had, none of this would
have happened.”
“No, it wouldn’t have...but then, there’s no one quite like Jimmy
Hickok. Would you honestly have wanted to miss any part of that?”
“No,” she sobbed.
“And didn’t you tell me long ago that you’d rather have just two weeks
with him than nothing at all?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you had that and more.”
“So I should quit my whining and count my blessings?” she tried to
laugh.
“And have consolation that you will be the only lady that James Butler
Hickok will ever have in his life!”
“I love you, Melissa!”
“And I love you. Now let me fix you some breakfast.”
Buck rode to his prayer spot. He prayed to the spirits and laid all of
Sarah’s problems on the table. He told the spirits that since they had
sent her, they shouldn’t let her go away. He opened his mind to what
the spirits might tell him. He sensed the presence before he really
heard anything.
“Red Bear,” he stated in Kiowa as the presence sat softly down on the
ground next to him. “Thank you,” he told his spirits before he turned
to his brother.
“Thank you?” Red Bed asked.
“I was praying to the spirits with a problem. I think they sent you to
me as their answer.”
“Then what is this problem?”
“Do you remember the lady I was with in the snowstorm…Sarah?”
“The one with the dancing eyes?”
“Yes...I need some help with her. She’s the schoolteacher in Rock
Creek. She is with child. She needs a place to stay until she has the
child.”
“This child…”
Buck didn’t want to tell an outright lie, but he knew his request would
carry more weight if his brother thought the child was his.
“It is part of me. Sarah is very important to me. She has to be
protected and sheltered. I would like her under your protection until
the child is born.”
“Will you take her as your squaw?”
“This is complicated, brother. I’m promised to another, whom I love,
but Sarah is a part of me. She’s one of us. I think even you sense
that. She knows my spirit and her future is linked with me. I love her
too, and she must have a place to stay where she can be protected and
watched over. Her child needs to be born in a peaceful place. I am
asking as your brother.”
“Does she know that you are asking this?”
“No.”
“You think she would try to be a part of us?”
“Yes, and it will come easily to her with your help. Teach her and she
will learn. And she can teach the children or anyone else who wants to
learn English. That would help them in their lives since the white man
isn’t going away.”
“This child…the night of the snows?”
“Yes, it was very special to me.”
Buck couldn’t tell if he was doing a good job of making his brother
believe how important Sarah was to him. Maybe he should have told him
he was going to marry her. By the time Red Bear found out differently,
Sarah would have found her way into his heart.
“I will take her into my teepee. Red Cloud will teach her the way of
the Kiowa. She will teach Red Cloud and the children English. Bring her
when she is ready to come.”
“Thank you, Red Bear. She will only bring joy to your people.”
“They are your people too. Perhaps we will see more of you with this
lady there.”
“Perhaps,” Buck agreed.
Red Bear left him then, and Buck slowly let out his breath. His brother
was one of the lower chiefs of the tribe. Since he was so important,
others would accept Sarah in the village. This was all too good to be
true. Buck got back on his horse and headed back to Melissa and Sarah.
“Read it again, Lou,” Cody told her, sitting stunned at what Lou had
just said. She’d read a note that Jimmy had left behind.
“It says ‘I don’t want to leave without telling you and the others
goodbye, but I couldn’t face you and say that many good-byes. I have to
leave to protect Sarah. Gunfighters will be coming to try and get to
her and to me, so I am gonna try to draw them off. Sarah has promised
to go back to Boston when school is over. Until then, watch over her.
I’ll be seeing you. Jimmy.”
“Does that mean they’re not together anymore?” Cody asked.
“Is that all you care about?” Noah asked him.
“Both Jimmy and Sarah could get killed!” Ike signed furiously.
“Sarah won’t…not if I have anything to say about it!” Cody declared.
“I just hope he’s able to come back soon,” Lou stated, feeling sad that
he was gone...feeling sad that Sarah was now alone. “And Cody...I know
how that mind of yours works. Don’t go thinkin’ Sarah will take you
back. Jimmy made her promise to go back to Boston, and that’s what
she’s gonna do. She knows she ain’t safe here. And you cain’t be with
her all day and all night. You got rides to do!”
“I don’t want her to go,” he stated softly. “We jist started to be
friends, and now I’ve got to tell her goodbye? How much longer before
school lets out?”
“Another few weeks, I think,” Noah told him. “But she loved Jimmy a
lot. Like Lou said, you ain’t gonna change her mind!”
“Jimmy’s right! Sarah safer in Boston!” Ike declared. “She come back to
stay later when all is safe!”
Cody knew when it was best to shut up and now was one of those times.
He headed outside. He needed to go for a ride.
“I’ve got it!” Buck stated as he went into Sarah’s house. He could tell
from looking at her AND Melissa that they’d both been doing some crying.
“What do you have?” Melissa asked him.
“A solution about where Sarah could go while she’s waitin’ to have the
baby.”
“Boston,” Sarah stated tonelessly.
“The Kiowa Village,” Buck practically shouted.
“The Kiowa Village?” both Melissa and Sarah yelled. They were both
looking at him like he was nuts.
“It’s perfect. No one would expect you to go there. You could pretend
to leave for Boston. At the first stop of the stage, you could say that
you felt ill. I could ride in at that point, and of course offer to
escort you back to Rock Creek. Instead, I’ll take you to the village
and get you settled in. Everyone will think you’re in Boston. You stay
at the village until the baby comes. I’ve asked Red Bear, and he agreed
with the plan. He’s giving you the honor of staying in his teepee with
him and his wife Red Cloud. He has offered to teach you the Indian way
if you teach Red Cloud and the children English.”
“But what about after the baby is born?”
“Jimmy will be back by then, and it will all be worked out,” Buck
stated triumphantly.
Sarah was shaking her head while Melissa was sitting there stunned.
“Something’s not right here…your people wouldn’t just take some
stranger into their village.”
“My brother is one of the lesser chiefs, and he does know you. He liked
you, so why wouldn’t he want you to come to his village?”
“What else did you tell him, Buck?” Sarah asked.
“I let him believe that I’m the father of this child...that it happened
the nite we was there.”
“Oh Lord!” Sarah stated.
“But I let him know that I was promised to another whom I loved, but
that you were a part of me, and you had to be watched over and cared
for. I didn’t directly tell him that I was the father, he just assumes
it right now. I chose not to straighten out his thinkin’,” he defended
himself.
“Oh Lord!” Melissa said this time.
“Forgive me? The three of us want Sarah here. What other way could we
do it? The Kiowa will watch over her and not let any man get near her.
She will have nutritious food, and when her time comes, she will have a
medicine woman attend to her. She will want for nothing. She will
become closer to the earth and one with the spirits and nature.”
“And Melissa will visit me often and learn along side me so that when
you two marry, she will truly be one with you in spirit!” Sarah
declared.
“You’ll do this?” Buck asked, suddenly feeling good about all of this.
“Yes, on the condition that no one, not even Teaspoon finds out about
this. I hate to deceive everyone, but that’s the only way this will
work. We must make everyone believe that I’ve gone to Boston and no one
must find out about the baby. Word can’t get to Jimmy…not until he’s
done what he’s had to do. Do we have a deal?”
Buck liked the gleam in her eye. He knew she wasn’t that crazy about
deceiving Red Bear, but she understood the necessity of it.
“Deal,” Buck stated. “Melissa?”
“I have to admit it’s just about perfect. Red Bear really agreed to
this?”
“He liked her. He called you the lady with the dancing eyes,” he told
Sarah.
“I guess I should be flattered,” she stated dryly.
“So Melissa?” he asked her again.
Once again, the jealous feelings were rising in her. But Buck had told
his brother that he loved another. And Sarah had told her that she was
willing to share this experience with her, and she knew that Sarah
didn’t love Buck and wouldn’t try to take him from her. Maybe this
would work out for all of them.
“Deal,” she declared, throwing her lot in with theirs, for better or
worse.
There was a knock on Sarah’s door. Buck being closest opened it.
“Teaspoon!” Sarah smiled his way.
“I should a knowed that Jimmy would get the two of you! How are you
doin’ Miss Sarah?”
“Much better now that Buck and Melissa have come. They’ve helped me
make some difficult decisions. They’re helping me realize that I need
to get on with my life. They’re making me realize that I have to keep
the promises that I made to Jimmy.”
“What promises was that?”
“I’m going back to Boston after school lets out for the summer. Without
Jimmy, I don’t want to stay here. There are too many memories, and I’d
probably always be watching my back. Jimmy made me see that this wasn’t
my world without him in it with me,” she stated sadly, for that was
certainly the truth.
“I knowed he’d be happy that you’re doin’ what he wanted you to do. He
made me promise that I’d see that you went back to Boston. Now there’s
jist the matter of keepin’ you safe till you go.”
“Jimmy made me promise to move n and keep watch over her till she
left,” Buck hastened to throw in.
“That’s one point we haven’t entirely settled, Teaspoon.” Sarah tried
to smile. She was determined to get through this and do Jimmy proud.
She had to quit whining and just take action for her life and that of
the baby. She’d think about Jimmy much, much later.
“We’re trying to tell Buck that they’d run her out of here if she did
that,” Melissa explained.
“They probably would at that,” Teaspoon agreed as he scratched his
chin, “But you cain’t stay heres without a man in the house. It jist
ain’t safe!”
“I would probably be alright. I’ve kept up my practice with my gun. I
can shoot pretty well,” Sarah stated.
“NO!” they all practically yelled at her.
“Just an idea,” she defended herself.
“She can move into Miss Rachel’s house! Lou and Kid’s room is empty now
that they moved into their new house. That way someone will always be
around!” Teaspoon stated.
“Perfect!” Melissa stated. “Rachel will go along with that idea, and
there are always some riders around. Right Buck?”
“Jimmy would probably agree to that. That okay with you, Sarah?”
“I would love not being alone right now,” she admitted. “And I’ll do
all I can to help around the house.”
“You most certainly will not! You’re just getting better, and you’ll be
teaching all day. I help Rachel. You won’t be that much extra work!”
Melissa told her.
“We’ll have you all settled in by this afternoon!” Teaspoon declared.
“You two sit with her while I round up Ike, Noah, Lou, and Cody!”
When the rest of the riders showed up, they were all very solicitous to
her. They wouldn’t let her do any of the work. They made her sit while
all of her things were packed up and loaded on the wagon. Before she
knew it, she herself was loaded on it, and taken to Rachel’s where she
was propped up on the sofa, everyone standing around looking on
anxiously.
“Anything else we can do for you, Sarah?” Lou asked her. She could tell
that Sarah was very sad, but holding up well. It was almost as if she
was determined that no one would see her cry.
“You all have done more than I could ever ask for. You haven’t asked,
but when the school year is over, I’m going back to Boston. I love
Jimmy still, and I just can’t stay here without him. Thank you all for
all the help you’ve given me today. I appreciate it more than you’ll
ever know.”
“You’re family,” Noah told her as he squeezed her hand.
“Love you...all of us.” Ike signed to her. “If you change mind, stay
here with us. We take care of you!”
“Oh Ike!” She said as she reached to hug him. She could feel a couple
of tears rolling down her cheeks. “Thank you. I love you too, but don’t
tell Emily that!”
“It’s the truth Sarah. If you change your mind and decide to stay,
we’ll all do what we can to help you out.” Cody told her.
“I know that, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind between now and
then.”
“Now all of you shoo!” Rachel stated. “Sarah looks exhausted and should
probably take a nap. Melissa and I have supper to cook. Cody, I need
some wood chopped. Ike and Noah, bring us in some water please. Buck,
why don’t you take care of the horses and put the wagon away?”
With those instructions, everyone took off in all directions. Lou
decided to stay and help Rachel, so those three women went into the
kitchen. Sarah laid her head back and closed her eyes. Of course Jimmy
was there. Where was he? Was he still safe? She rubbed her belly. Life
would go on. Somehow, she would get through all of this.
CONTINUED…….
COPYRIGHT 2004 - M BOLTON & R WOOTEN