To Have & To Hold

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
Part 3

MARY BOLTON AND ROBBIE WOOTEN

Rachel and Sarah hadn’t slept any the night before. They were in the kitchen when they heard the horses. They both ran out to meet the riders. The sun was coming up and the light touched on a tired group of men. They noted that Cody and Jimmy weren’t with them. Sarah hoped that they were okay as well.

Sarah searched the horses for Melissa. She spotted her behind Buck. “Is she okay? He didn’t hurt her did he?”

“No. She’s safe, but exhausted. Jimmy and Cody stopped to drop the Caine brothers off at the jail. Rachel, they’ll want somethin’ to eat once they git back.”

“We were making breakfast when you rode up. You all come in and eat before you try and get some sleep. It’s been a long night for all of us.”

They stopped by the porch. Teaspoon took Melissa from Buck as he handed her out of the saddle. He carried her into the house and up the stairs to her room.

“I’ll take your horse.” Ike signed to Buck. “I know you want to go with them.” Ike took the reins and Buck sent him a grateful look. He followed Teaspoon, Rachel, and Sarah up the stairs.

Teaspoon laid her on the bed and stepped aside as Rachel and Sarah got her undressed and settled under the covers. Afterwards, Teaspoon leaned down and kissed her forehead. Melissa opened her eyes and smiled up at him. “Thank you for coming after me!”

Teaspoon nodded and went out of the room. Sarah squeezed her hand. “I’ll be just downstairs if you need anything.”

Melissa nodded as she closed her eyes again. Buck waited until they had left the room before he approached Melissa’s bed. His weight sinking into the bed made her open her eyes again. She smiled.

For the first time, she noticed his battered face. His head held an ugly purplish bruise with a cut in the center. One of his eyes was black and swollen. She noticed that he favored his right side as he sat there. Clem had probably given him several broken ribs. She raised a hand to caress his cheek. “I knew you would be after me. Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

He smiled slightly. “I’m alright now that you’re safe! My wounds are nothin’ compared to the worries that I was feelin’ for you!”

“Shh!” She placed her fingers over his lips. “It’s okay. He didn’t hurt me. You should go have the doctor look you over. Then you need to get some rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up!”

He leaned over and kissed her lips. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

She smiled, then closed her eyes so heavy with sleep. Buck pulled the covers up a little more and then kissed her forehead. With one last look by the door, he made his way slowly back downstairs to some food and then some sleep of his own.

Rachel and Sarah served all the weary men their breakfast, than sat down to eat theirs. There wasn’t a lot of talk, but there were quite a few yawns. Sarah played with her food, not really hungry, but just totally exhausted.

“Who’s up today?” Teaspoon asked.

“I am.” Buck sighed, not wanting to go very far from Melissa.

“I’ll take your ride for you,” Noah offered with a smile.

“You sure?” Buck asked him.

“No problem.”

“Thanks,” Buck smiled at him.

Jimmy had been watching Sarah closely. She looked so tired. He just wanted to go over to her and hold her while she slept against him. She happened to look up from her food as that thought went through his mind, and she gave him a small smile before she turned her attention to what Ike was signing to her. She still wore her dress from the dance. He closed his eyes as he remembered dancing around the floor with her. And since Cody was here, would they have their shooting and reading lessons later today?

“Do you need some help cleaning up, Rachel?” the object of his thoughts asked.

“No…you’re asleep on your feet. Why don’t you go over to the house and curl up on the sofa?” she suggested.

“I’ll walk you over,” Buck and Cody both said at once as they both stood up.

“I’ll accept Buck’s offer. I know he really just wants to look in on a certain lady.” Sarah smiled. “I’ll see you later, Cody. Night all.”

Buck formally held his arm out to her, and she slipped hers through it and gratefully leaned against him.

“I’m sure you don’t feel very good yourself. You’d best get some rest yourself.” She told him as sternly as she could with what little energy she had left.

“Yes, mam,” he smiled down at her. “As long as you do the same.”

“Don’t worry. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I will be out!”

They climbed up the steps, and he stopped at the door. Something had been laying heavy on his mind.

“Sarah?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“I want to apologize for telling you that I didn’t trust you when you were trying to tell me that Ike and Melissa weren’t in love. You’re one of the few people that I do trust, and I’m sorry.”

Sarah carefully hugged him, and she could feel his arms going around her.

“It’s okay. You were upset,” she told him as she stood on tiptoes and gently kissed his bruised cheek. “Now go and peek in on Melissa, and I’m going to the sofa.”

Sarah yawned as she kicked her shoes off and lay on the sofa. She pulled the afghan off the back, yawned again, and closed her eyes.

Jimmy stood out on the bunkhouse porch, watching Buck and Sarah walk to the house. He watched as they hugged each other. He briefly wondered why it had happened, but then was surprised to realize that he didn’t feel at all jealous about it…not like when he had seen Cody kiss all over Sarah. They went inside, so he turned his eyes towards the distant mountains. He wanted so desperately to go and lay with Sarah. With that thought, he felt his whole body getting warmer. Wait! What in tarnation was he thinking? Lay with Sarah? No...he just couldn’t allow himself to get any closer than he already was. There was no harm in a few kisses, but she was Cody’s and would never be his. He didn’t want her in that way...couldn’t want her in that way!

He could sense someone coming up behind him, and he felt a hand go on his shoulder.

“Don’t you think you’d better find your bunk and get some rest?” he heard Rachel’s soft voice.

“I guess,” he told her without looking at her.

She patted his shoulder and left him to his thoughts. He shook his head and headed for his bunk.

Buck knelt on the floor next to Melissa’s bed and just looked very carefully at her. She was sleeping peacefully, but he could see a couple of bruises coming to the surface on her face. Had Clem hit her? He could feel anger coarse through him again over all that had happened to this lady...and it had been because of him! Clem would have never treated her like a whore if she hadn’t been seen with him! He sighed as he reached to push a loose curl into place. It would always be like this for her. Why couldn’t she understand that? Why did he want to be with her so strongly? He kissed her forehead, got up and went back downstairs. He smiled as he looked over at Sarah. She was out of it too.

Rachel came in then and he quickly put a finger to his lips and pointed to Sarah. She nodded as he left the house.

Sarah stretched and briefly wondered what time it was. Well, one thing was for certain. She and Melissa had missed church. It must be afternoon. She sat up and folded up the afghan, walked quietly up the stairs and peeked in on Melissa. She was still sound asleep. Looking in Rachel’s room, she saw that she was in the same state. Downstairs again, she wrote a note saying that she had gone home. She still had lesson plans to do for the next week. Coming out of the house, she let out a startled cry.

“Jimmy! What are you doing here?”

He’s been sitting on the top step. With pounding heart at the sound of her voice, he stood up and looked at her with a smile.

“I was hopin’ that you’d wake up so we could go for our shooting lesson.”

His smile had a strange affect on her. She still wasn’t that used to seeing it.

“Well, I’m awake, but I must look a sight!” she said as her hands went up to her hair.

“Oh no,” he told her softly. “You’re beautiful!”

Sarah knew that she would be lost if she looked up at him.

“Thank you for the compliment even though, at the moment, it isn’t true. How bout if you come with me and let me change my clothes? We can bring the book we’re working on so we can squeeze in a quick reading lesson before it gets dark.” She said as she started to walk to her house.

Jimmy grabbed the reins of his horse, and the horse he had saddled for her. He wanted them out of there before Cody woke up and went looking for Sarah.

“Feeling better now that you’ve had some sleep?” Jimmy asked as he caught up to her.

“Much better, thank you.” She replied primly.

Jimmy winced at her tone. She sounded so much the proper lady, once again reminding him of his place, that they had nothing in common, and that he didn’t deserve to have her. He sighed. She looked at him curiously as they arrived at her house.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, you’d better hurry and get dressed. I’ll wait out here.”

Sarah looked at him curiously, but just shook her head as she hurried into the house. She quickly changed into trousers, a flannel shirt and jacket. She gathered up the book she was using for Jimmy, a quilt to sit on while they were studying, and some food. She was hungry so she assumed that Jimmy hadn’t eaten yet either.

“I’m ready,” she stated a little breathlessly as she handed her packet up to him, as he was already on his horse. She quickly mounted hers, and followed him on the road out of town. It didn’t take long to reach their spot. So far he hadn’t said anything to her. He dismounted, laid her packet on the ground, got her gun out of his saddlebag, and wordlessly handed it to her along with some ammunition.

“Load this while I set up the cans,” he ordered.

“Okay…it must have been something I said, right?” she called after him as she loaded the gun. For the first time it didn’t feel clumsy in her hand.

“What?” he asked over his shoulder as he leaned over and set up the cans.

“Nothing,” she replied under her breath. “I’m ready!”

Jimmy walked back over t her.

“Take your aim and see what you hit.” He told her as he stood a little distance behind her.

Sarah aimed carefully, and somehow managed to hit three of the cans. She squealed with delight and turned around to see Jimmy. Her joy caught him by surprise, and a reluctant smile went across his face.

“You’re getting pretty good. You been practicin’ without me?” he teased.

“Now how was I going to do that? You kept my gun!”

Let’s try again,” and he went over to the cans again as she loaded the gun. This time she only hit two of the cans. He quickly hid a laugh behind his hand as she looked at the gun as if it were possessed.

“What went wrong?” she wailed.

“It just takes practice, Sarah. That’s all. It took me awhile before I hit everything I aimed at.”

“Could you hit all five of those cans?”

“Probably,” he told her.

“Let’s see. It’s your turn to show me what you can do,” she egged him on.

“We’re not here for me to practice. Besides it isn’t really a challenge or anything.”

“Brag all you want to, Jimmy Hickok, but I want to see you hit every one of those cans!”

“Alright...stand back!” he told her as he took position in front of the cans. He quickly drew and not only did he hit each can, as it flew up in the air, he shot it again. When he was out of bullets with the first gun, he threw it on the ground and quickly grabbed the second one that he wore. He finished the job with that one. At the end, he just stood there feeling pretty good about himself.

“Show off!” she muttered. “Hey, I know what my problem is!”

“What?” he asked as he reloaded his guns.

“I bet if you would let me use your guns, I could hit those cans! It’s because you have bigger guns...more firepower!”

“No, Sarah, that ain’t it at all!” he shook his head.

“Yes…let me shoot your guns, Jimmy.”

“They’re a little big for you, Sarah. I don’t want you to hurt yourself!”

“I think that you have a mighty patronizing attitude today, Mr. Hickok. A woman can do anything a man can do!” she said drawing herself up to her full height.

Jimmy looked at his guns knowing that Lou could handle them...figuring that even Melissa could probably handle them, but Sarah? He saw the look in her eye and knew she was determined to shoot his Colts. Well…shouldn’t he let her make her own mistakes?

“You win, Sarah, although I think you only need one,” he said as he holstered the other one. He put up the cans once again, and stood directly in back of her this time. That way he’d be close enough to catch her if anything happened.

Sarah took careful aim, squeezed the trigger, and felt the gun go flying out of her hand as she stumbled back into Jimmy. He caught her and pulled her tightly against him.

“You alright?” he asked her, a little worried.

“Did I hit the can?” was all she wanted to know as she shook her hand.

“Yes...you did!” he stated in amazement.

“You don’t have to act surprised, you know!” she said as she turned around in his arms so she could look up at him. “One of these days I’ll be as good as you are, Mr. Hickok!”

And as always, Jimmy’s body was responding to this feisty, stubborn woman!

“I don’t know about that,” he told her as he started to lower his mouth to hers.

Sarah held her breath as he got closer to her. What was it about this man that made her want to just stay in his arms forever...to never leave his side? Why did he have to fight it and keep pushing her towards Cody?

The anticipation was worth it as his mouth grazed against hers. She heard his groan as his lips pressed harder against her own. Her arms went around him so that she could pull him more tightly against her as his tongue invaded her mouth...and oh what a sweet invasion! Jimmy was determined to push it further this time, when all of a sudden he felt a bump against his back... He jumped and whirled around...only to find his horse there, and he swore that the nag was grinning at him! Sarah started to laugh.

“I think he’s trying to tell you that it’s time for your reading lesson and there’s no getting out of it.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Jimmy reluctantly agreed as he helped her spread the quilt on the ground.

“Hungry?” she asked as she unpacked the food.

“Yeah, I am!” he said, suddenly realizing how homey this felt. He knew that he didn’t want to be anywhere else but here, with her...sharing food...sharing her kisses…

Sarah watched the small smile play about his face, but chose not to comment on it. For once he looked reasonably happy, and she didn’t want to mess with that!

For the tenth time, Buck snuck up to check on Melissa, and she was just starting to stir.

“Ow!” came from her lips, and he hurried over to the bed.

“Melissa? Are you alright?” Buck asked her, alarmed.

“Buck!? What time is it? I can’t believe that I’m still here, lying in this bed. Help me up!”

“Cain’t,” he told her as he sat gingerly on the side of it next to her. “Rachel said to tell you that you’re to stay in bed today, and if you feel okay you can get up tomorrow.”

“I feel fine...really. But what about you? Your face is all black and blue.”

“I’m okay because you’re here, and you’re fine. Did they do anything to you?”

Melissa frowned as she sat up and leaned against the pillows behind her.

“Clem kept kissing me, and he pawed me (here she blushed bright red), but he didn’t do anything else. Thank God you got there in time. Really...I’m alright. I didn’t have any nightmares or anything. I feel rested.”

Buck clenched his fists, very angry at the thought of Clem touching this woman.

“Now do you believe what will happen to you now that you’ve been seen with me? You’ll be thought of as a whore, Melissa, and I don’t want that to happen to you!” he stated through his clenched teeth.

“What are you saying, Buck?”

“I’m sayin’ that it started with Clem and his brother, and I’m sayin’ that the townspeople are going to see you the same way they did. I’m sayin’ maybe its best that you and I don’t see each other no more.”

Melissa saw the pain go across his battered face. She wanted to yell at him or better yet, shake some sense into him, but she knew that wouldn’t do any good. She couldn’t allow herself to get upset with this man. He saw things differently from her and the rest of the white world. Inside, he was more Indian than white...he always would be. She reached out and took his hand.

“Buck…one thing you have to understand is that I want to be with you, hang the consequences. Somehow I don’t see every man in town wanting to kidnap me and use me for his pleasure. Clem is an exception, and I’m not going to let the likes of him intimidate me. If people choose not to get to know me and find out what I’m really like, that’s their problem. But the important thing to remember is that you aren’t getting rid of me that easily. I care about you, and I plan on spending my free time with you. What have you got to say about that, Mr. Cross?”

She couldn’t tell what he was thinking by looking at his face.

“What if I told you that I didn’t care what you thought? That I wasn’t going to be with you or spend time with you?”

“I wouldn’t believe you, Buck. I know that you care about me. You couldn’t kiss me like you do and not care about me!” she stated emphatically.

Buck wasn’t sure how he was just sitting there, showing no emotion, but he had decided that she couldn’t know how he felt. All of his protective instincts were coming out in full force. He only wanted to wrap his arms around her and take her away from this town where they could start a life together…just the two of them... But it could never be that way...just the two of them. Others would always intrude.

“But maybe that’s the way it is!” he told her woodenly as he pulled his hand away from hers, feeling like he was dying inside.

“No!” she stated as she sat up and threw her arms around him. Her mouth came down on his, and she started to kiss him for all she was worth.

And being that he cared for her, he couldn’t just sit there and do nothing. His body betrayed him as he started to return her kisses. His arms went around her as he pushed her back down on the bed. He stretched his body out on top of hers as the kisses turned deeper when her tongue slipped inside his mouth. He forgot where he was and what he’d been trying to accomplish. His only thoughts were of the lady underneath him. And all the feelings that he’d been holding inside for her.

“Hey, Melissa! Do you know...oh damn! I’m sorry,” Cody said as he walked in on a scene that he knew he didn’t belong in.

Buck looked up, alarmed, and Melissa’s face was turning a very becoming shade of red.

“Really...I’m sorry,” he stated again as he started to back out of the room. What he wouldn’t have given to have that be him and Sarah. “I’ll come back later.”

“Um...no Cody...really…” Buck stated as he quickly stood up. Melissa tried to get herself together as she rearranged the pillows behind her back.

“Were you coming to check on me?” Melissa said finally as she found her voice.

“Yeah, but I can see that you’re doing much better. I’ll leave you two alone now,” Cody smiled at her as he started to turn away. “Oh, by the way, have you seen Sarah today?”

“Not yet. Why?”

“I can’t find her. She left a note saying that she was going home, but she’s not there.”

“I’m sure she’s alright. She might have gone out for a ride or something, Cody.”

“Yeah...I guess. I’m glad that you’re okay. See you later.” He said over his shoulder as he left them alone again.

“I think we’re lucky Mr. Cody came up here,” Melissa stated as she blushed again and patted the bed for him to sit back down.

“Yeah...I think so too,” he smiled at her.

“Now we aren’t going to have anymore of that nonsense talk about you not seeing me anymore. Are we?”

“No,” he told her softly as he reached out to caress her face lovingly.

“Good! Now I’m hungry. Could you please…”

“I’ll go and get you something. You stay right here where you are. I’ll be right back!” he told her as he got up and headed out of the room.

Once outside it, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He only hoped that the gods were right about all of this...because he didn’t think he’d ever be able to give this lady up!

Jimmy and Sarah finished their meal, and she pulled out the book. They went over what he had previously learned, sharing meaningful looks as they went over the pronunciation of the vowels. She could feel her face get warm as she looked back down at the book. Concentrate...she needed to concentrate on the book and her lesson with Jimmy! It just would help if she weren’t sitting so close to him that she could feel his body heat! His face was a mask of concentration as he struggled over the words. She taught him the pronunciation of some additional letters and showed them in the context of a word before they continued on with the simple story that they were reading. She could tell how important this was to him.

“…and that’s it for today, Jimmy. I best be getting back home before it gets dark.”

Reluctantly, he closed the book.

“And I’d better ride back in separate from you. I’ll come in from the other side of town, but you’d better give me a head start so that I get there ahead of you, okay?”

“Yeah, I guess that would be best,” he told her as he stood up. He held down his hand and pulled her to her feet. Somehow his arms, acting independently of the rest of him, found their way around her and pulled her against him.

“All I ever want to do when I’m around you is kiss you, Sarah,” he admitted as he did just that.

“That’s interesting, because I find that when I’m around you, all I want you to do is kiss me, Jimmy.”

Sarah looked up at him, and she wasn’t sure what she was seeing in his eyes.

“You shouldn’t want me to do that, Sarah. You don’t know me that well. It’s not a good idea since Cody is courting you and all.”

“I want to know you better Jimmy. And Cody isn’t courting me. I mean he asked if he could, but I really haven’t given him an answer yet.”

Sarah heard Jimmy sigh as he pulled her tighter against him and just held her. Jimmy knew that heaven couldn’t be any better than what he was experiencing at this moment. If he could just have this lady…NO!!

“Sarah, you don’t want to know me better. I appreciate that you’re teachin’ me how to read, and I don’t mind teachin’ you how to shoot, but that’s all it can be. Tell Cody that he can court you. He cares a lot about you. He’d be good for you. I wouldn’t be. I ain’t got no future, and you deserve better ‘n that.”

“Do you have a lady somewhere that no one knows about?”

Jimmy forced himself to hold her away from him at arms length.

“No, there ain’t no other lady, and there never will be. I won’t ever get involved with anyone lessen she’s a saloon gal that I don’t have to worry about,” he forced himself to say. “And you’d better stay with Cody.”

“Why Jimmy? I don’t understand why…”

“Look Sarah, if you and I are gonna continue with our lessons, you gotta promise me that’s all it will be…lessons!’ He forced himself to drop his hands from her arms.

Sarah could tell by the set look to his face that there would be no changing his mind, and he wasn’t going to explain his reasons to her. Once again, she could feel the hopelessness of wanting Jimmy, but never having Jimmy fill her up. She sighed. Even if she couldn’t kiss him, at least she could still be close to him.

“Okay, Jimmy…lessons...that’s all. It’s a deal.”

It tore him up that her face was reflecting what he was feeling inside.

“There’s only one thing though….” She told him, and suddenly she looked very mischievous.

“What’s that?” he had to smile down at her.

“I was wondering….I mean I’d really like to get something out of my system, and I’d like to know if you could help me with it.”

“With what?”

Sarah moved close to him, slipped her arms inside his jacket, and hugged him to her. Immediately his body started to betray him, his heart started to pound. Could she hear it?

“I figure that if I can kiss you one more time, I’ll have it out of my system and just not want to do it anymore. So what do you say?” she asked him as she looked up at him.

“One more time?” he asked with a cocked eyebrow as he easily pulled her tighter against him.

“Yeah…one more time to keep me going for the rest of my life.”

“Cain’t see no harm in that,” he said, but in truth he would have agreed to do anything to her at this moment.

“Good…so kiss me.” She said as warning bells started to go off in her head. She knew she was being forward, and she knew that her parents would be giving her a stern lecture about behavior such as this if they knew, but she didn’t care. What only mattered to her was this last time in Jimmy’s arms.

His mouth covered hers gently, but the gentleness soon left as passion took over. The simple kiss to her mouth that he intended, soon turned into little kisses that went up and down her face, and back to her mouth. They sank down to the quilt, and he moaned against her lips as they began their sweet attack on his neck and ears. Their tongues did their dance together, as he covered her body with his. He felt as if an electric shock had gone through him as her hands worked their way under his shirt and began unbuttoning his long johns. Soon that hand was caressing his chest, and he knew that he wanted her caressing all of him. Was this what love was like? Jimmy wanted to touch her...to touch all of her, but how the hell was he supposed to do that?

“SARAH!” they heard faintly in the distance.

Sarah didn’t want to hear someone else calling her name. She just wanted to stay in this world with Jimmy. She continued nuzzling his chest where her hand had been.

“SARAH!” they heard again.

“Tarnation! It’s Cody!” Jimmy swore as he held his head up to listen. “And he’ll be here in about five minutes. I gotta get out of here, Sarah!” he stated as he jumped up, not caring that his shirt and long johns were unbuttoned. He just knew that Cody couldn’t find him here like this! Sarah stood up.

“Meet me here tomorrow after school for your next lesson.”

“Cain’t! I’ll be on a ride. I’ll see you here in two days!”

Jimmy didn’t want to leave her. He wanted to love her, but he knew he couldn’t. He jumped on his horse and took off. Sarah quickly made her appearance right, looked around to make sure that Jimmy hadn’t left anything behind, and folded the quilt.

“SARAH!” she heard Cody call again.

“Over here Cody,” she called to him, as she got up on her horse. She waited for him to ride up.

“What are you doing out here all by yourself? Are you alright?” Cody asked her, concern written all over his face.

“I’m fine. It was such a pretty day, that I decided to come out here and sit and do my lesson plans for the week. I’m sorry if you were worried, Cody. I didn’t know you would come looking for me.”

Cody could only stare at her. She looked so beautiful and windblown.

“Sarah…I’ve tried to tell you in the past what you mean to me. I know that we haven’t been together that long, but I knew the moment I saw you that you would be important to me…that I would fall in love with you. That’s why I asked if I could court you. That’s why I would come looking for you...that’s why I would worry about you. Sarah, you’re everything to me. I would die if anything happened to you.”

And Sarah knew that he was telling her the truth. She knew there wasn’t any hope with Jimmy. Jimmy had told her to go with Cody, and he had meant it.

“Sarah...will you let me court you...please?”

She could feel her horse shifting underneath her. She could also feel all the feelings that Jimmy had brought forth in her. She was glad that it was getting dark so that Cody wouldn’t see the warmth that infused her face. Now was the time to tell Cody no, or to start her life with him. He was a good man. He would take good care of her...protect her. With new resolve, she looked at Cody and smiled.

“I’d say that you plead a very good case, Cody.”

“Is it good enough? I gotta know now, Sarah,” he told her in his soft, serious voice.

Lord but the man was handsome. He was intelligent. He would make something of himself one day. She knew he would have everything he had ever dreamed of.

“It’s good enough, Cody. You can court me. I’d like that!”

Cody got down off his horse, and came over to her. He held up his open arms to her, and she slid down into them.

“I love you, Sarah,” he whispered before he began kissing her. Kissing Cody was nothing like kissing Jimmy, but it was almost as good. With new determination, she pushed Jimmy Hickok out of her head. She was Cody’s now. It would work.

Jimmy went over every detail of kissing Sarah in his mind on the ride back, knowing that it was something he would have to put into his memory to bring out at the times he was lonely and needed some comfort. He knew that she would go with Cody, and he hated that, but it was for the best. He couldn’t have any woman!

Melissa had just finished every bite of the delicious meal that Rachel had brought up to her. She felt very sinful, lounging in bed like this when she really didn’t feel sick. Ike poked his head into the room.

“You okay?” he signed.

“Yes. I shouldn’t be made to lie in this bed like this. I swear that I’ll be up tomorrow morning, Ike. Thanks for your part in my rescue. I do appreciate it.”

He just smiled at her as he stared down at her. She pointed to the space next to her and said, “Sit!”

He shook his head no.

“Why not, Ike? I don’t bite.”

“I know, but if Buck comes he might get the wrong idea.”

“He does have some funny ideas, doesn’t he?”

“It’s his Indian side.”

“Yeah I know. I’m going to have to get used to it. I plan on being with that man for a long time to come,” she smiled.

“Good! You’re supposed to be together!” he approved with a nod.

“Am I interruptin’ anythin’?” she heard Jimmy ask as he came in. He took his hat off and smiled down at her. “You okay?”

“I’m great, and Ike and I were just discussing Buck.”

“I have to go. I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep well.” Ike signed as he kissed her forehead and left the room.

Sarah looked at Jimmy through narrowed eyes.

“You were with Sarah, weren’t you? Cody was looking for her.”

“He found her. Yeah I was with her, but he don’t know that.”

“You turned her over? Just like that? What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothin’s wrong with me. I jist think that she should be with Cody. She doesn’t need to be with the likes of me.”

“Being with Sarah is good for you. I can always tell when you’ve been with her. It changes you.”

“I don’t want to be changed. I don’t want to lose the edge that I have.”

“Edge? What edge?” Melissa asked him feeling a little irritated.

“The way things stand now, I’m always aware of what’s goin’ on round me. No one can sneak up on me. I’m always ready to take someone on. If I change, have something else takin’ up space in my head, I’m gonna lose my edge. I’m gonna get killed, Melissa,” he stated heatedly.

“Does that mean that you’re not going to keep teaching her to shoot?”

“No, we’ll still do that. We talked about it. But I told her to go with Cody, and that nothin’ could happen tween us anymore. It’s what’s best for her, and for me.”

“Shouldn’t you let Sarah decide what’s best for her?” she demanded.

“Look, all I wanted to do was come up here and see how you were doin’! I didn’t come up here to get in no yellin’ match with you!” he told her.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on in here Jimmy?” Teaspoon asked as he came in.

Jimmy looked at Melissa. Melissa knew he would die before he let on what had been going on.

“I’m afraid it’s my fault, Teaspoon. Jimmy’s not to blame. Thanks for stopping in. I’m sorry.” She told him sincerely, and she could tell he knew exactly why she was saying she was sorry.

“Yeah, me too. See you later, Melissa.” He told her as he put his hat back on and left.

“Why do I feel there’s more to it than that?” Teaspoon asked his daughter.

“I don’t know, because there’s not,” she said with a wide smile. “Are you going to sit a spell and keep me company?”

“I was hopin’ you would ask!” he said as he sat down next to her and took her hand in his. And thus began a very special time where they talked and shared some of their past with each other. Melissa knew that when she looked back on her life, this was a memory she would cherish.

Cody rode home with her, and walked her to her door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow after school, Sarah.”

“Good. You can keep me company while I grade papers, and then you can eat supper with me.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’ll like that,” he told her sincerely as he leaned down to kiss her. He held her close to him for a few moments before he let her go.

Sarah watched him ride off. Jimmy was immediately in her mind, but she pushed him out of it. There was no room for him anymore.

“Congratulate me!’ Cody yelled as he came into the bunkhouse.

“What for?” Ike signed.

“Sarah agreed to let me court her!” he smiled as he threw his things on his bunk.

“You don’t say! That means you’re gonna marry her?” Noah asked him.

“I hope so. That’s my intention anyway.”

“Wow! Just like Kid and Lou,” Buck stated as he looked over at Jimmy to see how he was taking it. “You sure about this? I mean getting’ hitched is forever!”

Jimmy felt like a bunch of tiny knives were stabbing at him. Well, what had he expected? This was what he had told her to do! He should thank Cody, actually! This would keep him away from her if nothing else would.

“I’m sure. Sarah is the most remarkable woman that I have ever met. I’m old enough to get married. Why not to Sarah? I’m almost to the point where I’m ready for forever. Lou and Kid did it. It can’t be that hard!” he laughed as he took his shirt off. “I know I won’t have a problem lovin’ her forever.”

“Yeah, he’s in love! He’s lookin’ all mooney eyed and everything, ain’t he Jimmy?” Noah asked him.

“Yeah, he is,” Jimmy agreed without looking at Cody.

“Congratulations!” Noah told him as he shook his hand.

“Yeah.” Ike and Buck told him as they added theirs. Jimmy knew it would look funny if he didn’t say anything.

“Me too. Congratulations, Cody.” Jimmy told him as he got off his bunk and thumped Cody on the back.

“Boy, wait until Rachel hears that she’ll have another wedding to help plan!” came from Ike.

“Wait a minute! You haven’t even met her parents yet! What if they don’t like you?” Buck asked Cody.

“What’s not to like?” Cody laughed, feeling as self-confident as always.

Buck just shook his head. This was pure Cody, but knowing Sarah, she could handle him. He looked again at

Jimmy, hoping Jimmy was okay with this. Hoping Sarah was doing what was in her heart. Maybe he would pray to the spirit gods tomorrow for them.

“Now can we quit all this jawin’ and git to bed?” Noah asked. “I’m still tired from rescuing Melissa. She doin’ okay?” he looked Buck’s direction.

“Fine...she’s fine. She’ll be herself tomorrow,” he answered them all. Buck lay down on his bed, and immediately his thoughts flew over to Melissa, felling warm all over as he thought about all that had happened before Cody had interrupted them. He smiled to himself. He hoped that he dreamed about her tonight.

Jimmy could not get the image of Sarah out of his head. There was part of him that knew if Cody hadn’t come along, he and Sarah would have gotten as close as a man and woman could get. Would he have wanted that to happen? Hell yes! What would it have felt like? Would it have been as wonderful as he had always imagined it would be? So with Sarah on his mind, he fell asleep.

Melissa got out of bed and looked out at the bunkhouse. The lights were out, which meant the boy were asleep. Was Buck sleeping? Was he dreaming of her? What would have happened if Cody hadn’t interrupted them? She could only blush at the thought. Feeling all warm inside, she went back to bed.

Sarah sat on her porch swing for the longest time that night. Disturbing thoughts of Jimmy kept coming to her mind, so she finally gave into them. Being on the blanket with him on top of her had been wonderful. His skin had felt so good to her touch. Why was she so forward with him? She would never dream of being that way with Cody. There was just something about Jimmy that made her want to be wild and reckless. Wouldn’t all the proper townspeople die if they knew what their “proper” schoolteacher was like? Was she doing the right thing with Cody? She asked herself for the hundredth time. Would her parents like him? Did she want to eventually marry him? So many questions and too few answers. Giving up, she finally went to bed.

The next week flew by quickly. It kept getting colder, and preparations were going strong for Thanksgiving. Sarah was enjoying teaching all about it to her class, and the children were having fun pretending to be Indians and Pilgrims. About every other day, Sarah and Jimmy would get together for their lessons, but he had this wall up again. A couple days before Thanksgiving, he declared that she was ready to keep her gun, and that she wouldn’t need anymore lessons as long as she practiced with it at least once a week. He had to admire the fact that she was doing well, and could usually hit what she was aiming at. His reading lessons continued and since he was trying extra hard, Sarah knew that he wouldn’t be a pupil of hers much longer. That was probably for the best! Buck and Melissa were doing very well together, although they didn’t come into town very often. Cody was usually with Sarah every evening unless he was on a run.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Miss Sarah!” Teaspoon said as he kissed her cheek. She had come in on Cody’s arm, so she gave him a one armed hug.

“Happy Thanksgiving Teaspoon, and the same to everyone else!” she said as she smiled at everyone in the bunkhouse. They were all dressed up for this special holiday.

Jimmy quickly sucked his breath in when Sarah walked into the room. She was dressed in this soft looking, gold colored dress. She was more beautiful than ever, if that was possible. He knew that he also admired her. She had stuck to her part of their bargain, and been only professionally friendly when they were together. So why were his feelings only growing for her?

He watched as Sarah hugged Rachel, Buck, Ike and Noah. “And of course Jimmy,” she said as she came up to him. He knew that if she didn’t hug him, it would look funny.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Sarah!” he told her softly as he gave her a quick hug. His body protested when he let her go.

Sarah savored the brief moment before she went back over to Cody’s side.

Then the door opened again, and Jimmy yelled, “Lou! Kid!’ before he ran over to hug his two best friends who had finally returned.

“Let me at them!” Rachel called , and soon it turned into chaos with everyone wanting to hug them, and many questions being thrown at them.

“Hold on everyone!” They heard Teaspoon yell. “Let’s all sit down to dinner, and we can talk over our meal!”

“Wait a minute...there are two new faces here!” Kid said as he looked at two of the most beautiful ladies he had ever seen.

“And I’d say that one is with Cody, and the other is with Buck?” Lou asked.

“You’re right about that! A lot has happened since you left on your honeymoon. This is Melissa, and Teaspoon is her daddy,” Buck explained.

“What?!” Lou asked as she looked at Teaspoon who was nodding his head up and down.

“And this is Sarah. She’s the schoolteacher, and I’m courtin’ her!” Cody told them.

“Cody! You’re courtin’?” Kid asked as he hugged him again. “We’ve been gone too long Lou! Look what all’s happened!”

“Everyone sit down and we’ll get caught up!’ Teaspoon told them. “Will everyone join hands and we’ll all say grace? Would you all join hands?”

Heads bowed and hands were finally clasped as everyone settled down around the table.

“Dear Lord, we thank you for this here food that you’ve blessed us with. We thank you for the safe return of Lou and Kid and we thank you for my new daughter Melissa and our new schoolteacher, Sarah. Amen. Now everyone dig in!”

It seemed as if everyone began to talk at once, and the whole story of Melissa and Sarah was told, along with how Melissa was Teaspoon’s daughter. They found out all about Lou and Kid’s honeymoon, and what they planned on doing now. Through it all, Melissa sat back and watched the new pair that had arrived and realized just how well they fit in. She had a feeling that these two were very important to Jimmy because he had seemed to perk up. Lou was very petite, with short hair. She was also very cute. The Kid was tall, with honey brown hair, dark eyes, and handsome with a decent body. You could tell how much in love they were with each other. And by the time everyone was caught up on everyone else, they had finished their meal. Rachel wouldn’t hear of anyone helping her, so they all put on their coats and went outside for a breath of fresh air. Cody had an arm around Sarah, while Buck was holding tightly to Melissa’s hand.

“Who would have ever thought that Cody would find someone? Sarah appears to be very nice. And she’s pretty too. They look kinda cute together, don’t they, Jimmy?” Lou asked him. They were a little distance from everyone else.

“Yeah,” was all that he said as he looked out at the night.

“Am I missin’ somethin’ here, Jimmy? I’ve been gone awhile, but it ain’t been so long as I still cain’t read you.”

“Now ain’t the time, Lou. I’m glad you and Kid are home. I have missed you. So you're gonna build a house? Around here?”

“Yeah, we thought we would. It will take awhile what with Kid still ridin’ and all.”

“No it won’t. You know that we’ll all help you out. It won’t take no time, Lou.”

“What you jawin’ to my bride bout, Jimmy?” Kid asked as he came over to them.

“I was tellin’ her that we need to get started on your house. With all the riders workin’ on it and all, it won’t take no time to get you two in it.”

“I was hopin’ you would help us, Jimmy.”

“You should know that I would,” he replied.

“What with Cody courtin’ and Buck lookin’ serious. We may have two more houses to build soon,” Kid mused.

“Let’s git yours built first before we start worryin’ bout theirs! You stayin’ with Rachel for now?”

“Yeah. She has that extra room next to Melissa’s that she’s kind enough to let us use,” Lou told him. She noticed that Jimmy’s gaze seemed to settle on Sarah every now and then. WHAT was going on there?

Rachel came out of the bunkhouse.

“I bet Lou and Kid are exhausted from their journey, and it’s gettin’ cold out here.”

“Yeah, we best call it a nite. Noah, want to come and make rounds with me?” Teaspoon asked.

“Sure.” He agreed readily.

“Goodnight Melissa. Sweet dreams!” Teaspoon told his daughter as he kissed her cheek. “See that she gets safely into the house Buck.”

“Yes sir!” Buck told him with a smile.

“Good nite all! Cody, you walkin’ Miss Sarah home?”

“Oh yes.” Cody smiled as he hugged her tighter against him.

“Then goodnite Miss Sarah!” Teaspoon told her with a tip of his hat. She rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek.

In the chaos of good nights, Sarah looked over at Jimmy, who was still leaning on the porch railing. He was looking at her; she had caught him doing this all night. She gave him a tentative smile, which he returned before he walked off with Lou and Kid. It filled her with warmth as Cody gently tugged on her hand. She followed him down the stairs.

“Do you want to go to the dance Saturday nite? I think it will be fun since Lou and Kid will be there. It will be like their welcome home party.”

“Then I definitely think we should go, Cody. It was fun today, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah...specially since Lou and Kid were there.”

“You riders love them very much, don’t you?”

“They’re part of the family, and it didn’t seem right having them gone so long. Now they’re back, and things are right again. I think they really liked you.”

“That’s good since I really like them.”

“Christmas will be here soon,” Cory mentioned.

“I know. The children want to put on a Christmas pageant. Would you believe one of the Hawkins boys wants to be Joseph?”

“That ought to be real interestin’!’ He laughed along with her.

“So I know I’m going to be real busy between now and the holiday. I assume that you and the rest of the riders have traditions that you follow?”

“Yeah, we do, and this year you and Melissa will be a part of them. We decorate a tree and have a big supper and exchange gifts. It’s fun...especially since none of us have to work that day.”

“That’s my favorite part of the day also,” she agreed. “What about your parents Cody? Don’t you want to be with them for the holidays, or the rest of the riders as far as that goes?”

“My parents live in Scott County, Iowa and I really don’t have time to go back and see them. Anyway, it’s been so long since I been home. This is my home now. Besides, you’re here, and I know that you won’t be going home to Boston. How are you going to feel about that?”

“Homesick probably, but I’m lucky that I have everyone to spend it with here. What about Noah?”

“His parents are dead…Ike and Buck and Jimmy’s parents are all dead too. Lou don’t have none, and neither does Kid. I think I’m the only one that has ‘em.”

“That’s sad,” she said quietly as they got to her house.

“That’s why they’re working for the Pony Express. They wanted people that was orphans because they thought we’d all get ourselves killed. I lied and said I was cause I needed the job.”

She smiled at that. “I’m just happy that none of you have been killed. That would be terrible.”

“I guess it’s always a possibility. We’ve all been shot one time or another. Luckily they’ve all had bad aims!” he laughed as he walked her to her door and put his arms around her.

“You’re got to promise me that you’ll take extra good care of yourself, William F. Cody! I don’t want you getting killed on me!”

“You can count on it, mam!” he told her softly as he began to kiss her.

Jimmy walked Lou and Kid over to Rachel’s. Kid was walking with Rachel, so Lou looked up at Jimmy.

“You want to talk about it now?” She asked him.

“Talk about what?” he asked her, pretending not to know what she was talking about.

“Jimmy!” she stated, knowing very well what this man could be like.

“What?” he asked her.

“You still ain’t learned yet, have you?” she asked him sadly.

“Learned what?”

“I ain’t been around for awhile, but you’ve got feelings for Sarah don’t you? And knowing you, you’ve pushed Cody in her direction. Does she have feelings for you to? Does Cody know how you feel?” she said taking the bull by the horns. There was nothing Jimmy could do or say to her to intimidate her. She’d known him too long. She knew his tricks. And she knew how his mind worked.

“You’re wrong, Lou.” Was all he said.

“No I ain’t, and you know it! You know where to find me when you want to talk about it. Night, Jimmy.”

He wanted to spill his guts to her, but he just couldn’t…not yet anyway.
“Nite, Lou. I’m glad that you and Kid are home.”

“I am too!” she told him as she squeezed his hand and went to catch up with Kid.

Jimmy sighed, feeling more alone at that moment than he ever had in his entire life. He turned and walked back to the bunkhouse. Reaching under his bunk, he pulled out the picture he kept of his mother. His memory of her was fuzzy, but looking at her picture always brought him comfort. “What would you tell me to do?” he asked the photograph. Hearing footsteps approaching, he quickly put the picture back under his mattress, and was taking off his coat when Ike came back in.

“Want to play poker?” Ike asked him.

“Sure!” Jimmy readily agreed.

Buck walked Melissa to the front door, knowing their good nights would have to be quick, since they were being followed by Lou, Kid and Rachel.

“You sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning,” he told her as he hugged her hard and gave her a quick kiss. He wished he could have stood there forever with her.

“Goodnight you handsome man. I told Rachel I’d cook breakfast for everyone since she worked so hard on the Thanksgiving meal. After that I’m going to have my day over at Sarah’s cleaning her place.”

“Great! See you!”

He kissed her again, and made his escape before the mob descended on them.

Sarah came into her house to find Melissa cleaning away. She wearily dumped her things on the table.

“Just the person I need to talk to,” Melissa told her as she finished the task she had been doing.

“It looks wonderful in here, as always. I’m so lucky to have you one day a week! What would I do without you?”

“Your life would have probably been a lot calmer.”

“Sit and talk to me. What can I help you with?”

“Don’t you have to meet Jimmy for his reading lesson?”

“In a bit. I have some time.”

“Christmas is coming…”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What are you giving Cody?”

“I was thinking a nice heavy pair of leather gloves and a book about Boston. What are you giving Buck?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to give him a vest with some beadwork on it. There’s only one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I bought the vest at Tompkins’ store...you can sew so well, and I can’t. I was wondering if you could help me with the beadwork. Maybe show me how to do it. How to draw a pattern.”

“Of course I can help you out. Come over in the evenings, and while I’m working on some of my gifts, I can help you with Buck’s vest.”

“It won’t be any trouble?”

“You should know better than that! It will be like when you lived here. We can gossip and work. I’ll look forward to it.”

“Thank you!” Melissa stated, relieved as she jumped up to give Sarah a hug. “Is Jimmy coming here or are you meeting him?”

“Meeting him out in the woods since Cody isn’t riding today.”

“How is it going with him?”

“His mind is so quick, Melissa. If he’d had the proper schooling as he grew up, there is no telling what he’d be doing with his life now. I doubt whether he’d be known as a gunfighter! Personally, we keep each other at a distance.
We’re friendly, but that’s it,” she sighed.

“And you still care about him.”

“Yeah, silly huh?” she asked as she headed to her room to change her clothes.

“What about Cody?” Melissa asked, following her.

“Cody is a wonderful man. He’s got a great sense of humor…he’s smart...he’s creative...he’s ambitious, and there is no doubt in my mind about the fact that he loves me. I couldn’t be luckier.”

“Nowhere in there did I hear you say that you loved him.”

“I know,” another sigh. “I do love him in a way, and isn’t that what is important? The person you end up with should be a good friend first of all, and Cody is that. Sometimes love wears off, but a friendship love won’t ever wear off. I care about him. I want what’s best for him. And as time goes by, my feelings deepen for him. We’ll be okay.”

“If there weren’t a Jimmy, it would be better.”

“Well, yeah…so what about you and Buck? How’s that going?”

“It’s so wonderful now that he’s finally realized that I don’t care what people say about us. If I couldn’t be around him, I don’t know what I’d do.”

Sarah pulled a sweater over her head.

“It sounds like love! He feel the same?”

“I think so. Neither of us has said it, but that’s okay for now…as long as we can be together. I just think he needs to be clear in his mind about the two of us before he can say it. You didn’t mention if you were giving Jimmy anything for Christmas.”

“That’s true, I didn’t, but I am. I’m knitting him a scarf to keep him warm when he’s riding. It’s sort of a reward for doing so well with his reading.”

“Speaking of which, you’d better go and meet him. What am I supposed to tell Cody if he asks where you are?”

“Tell him you saw me, and I had some errands I needed to take care of, that I’ll see him for the dance tomorrow night.”

“I’ll have a stew on the stove for you when you get back.”

“Thank you! I don’t know what I’d do without you lady!” she said as she hugged her. “We’ll start on your vest Sunday night if you’d like.”

“I’d like.”

“Great…see you.”

As always, Jimmy was waiting for her. He smiled when she arrived. And like always, he made her shoot a few rounds to keep her aim up. Then they spread the quilt, and she pulled out the books they were working on.

His reading was getting to be near flawless, and she just smiled as she listened to him.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m afraid that you don’t need me as a teacher any longer,” she stated reluctantly. “You read very well now, and could probably tackle anything that you set your mind to. I think that it’s time for you to graduate and be on your own.” How was she going to bear not being able to at least look forward to their lessons? She would no longer have an excuse to be near this man anymore.

Jimmy felt his heart sink. He knew what she said was true. He could read pretty well now, and it was all because of her. He set the book down and looked at this beautiful lady.

“I don’t know what to say to you, Sarah. Because of you, I can read now.”

“Hey don’t give me all the credit here. You worked very hard to learn. Most of the credit goes to you, Jimmy.”

“But if you hadn’t offered, I’d still be some stupid fool!”

“NO!” she stated as her hand went to rest on his arm. “You would NEVER be that. You’ve always been a smart man. Don’t run yourself down like that!”

“You never thought I was stupid? Not even that day when I couldn’t tell you what can had beans in it?” he asked incredulously.

“No,” she said softly. “Not even then. Your intelligence has always come through. I’ve always realized that not everyone was so lucky as to have the opportunities that I’ve had to go to school. I’ve never thought ill of you...never!” she stared vehemently.

Buck’s words suddenly came back to him. Lord but that seemed so long ago! Her hand was gripping his arm tightly with her intensity. And he believed her.

“Oh Sarah, you don’t know what you’ve jist done for me,” he practically whispered to her as her eyes drew him in. They seemed to be getting closer, and his lips brushed hers gently. Sarah closed her eyes, savoring the butterfly feel of them. “Thank you for that.” He said as he quickly pulled away from her, realizing what he had just done with her. She didn’t appear to be upset by it, and that simple kiss seemed to open up the whole floodgate of emotions that he always felt around her but always tried to suppress.

She cleared her throat.

“It there’s ever anything else I can do for you, you’d best let me know.”

A brilliant idea hit him.

“Actually there is something you could do for me.”

“What?” she asked eagerly.

“I don’t do too good with sums. Would you teach me those next?”

“You want me to teach you arithmetic?” she asked, not believing what he was asking.

“Yes,” he stated simply.

She laughed then, “I’d love to, Jimmy, but what do we do when it starts snowing? It’s going to happen pretty soon by the looks of it.”

“So that’s a yes?” he smiled.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Good! So how are you and Cody doing? You talk about getting hitched yet?” It killed him to ask, but he had to know.

“No, I don’t think either one of us is ready for that step yet. We’re doing alright. Thanks for asking. He told me something that I didn’t know about the riders.”

“What’s that? Knowing Cody, it could be just about anything.”

“True, he said that most of you were orphans…actually that all of you were except for him.”

“Yeah, that’s the way it had to be for Russell, Majors and Waddell to hire you. They didn’t want to have to worry none about next of kin in case you got shot.”

“So what about you? Were you very young when your parents died?”

“Now why would you want to know that, Sarah?” he asked feeling suddenly agitated. He stood up and walked over to his horse.

“I don’t know much about your past Jimmy. I’d like to get to know you a little better, so that when I’m old and gray I can say that I knew you when your name comes into the conversation. I can let them know that what was said about you was wrong.”

“How do you know that it’s all wrong?”

“I know in my heart that you’re not that man that they write about. You’re not a gunfighter. If you were that’s all you’d be doing. You wouldn’t be riding for the Pony Express. You wouldn’t be so loyal to your friends. That’s how I know its all lies. Yes, you look like a gunfighter, but you’ve been caught up in something you have no control over. I’d like to know everything about you, but I know you won’t tell me that. Right now, all I want to know about you is how old you were when your parents died.”

For not knowing him that well, she knew him too well. How had she done that? He had never told her that much about himself.

“My father died when I was around 9…my mother died about a year later.”

She couldn’t believe that he had actually told her something, but instinctively she knew not to say a word about what he had just told her. He didn’t want to hear any sympathy from her, and she knew he wouldn’t tell her how they had died. This would have to do for now.

“Thank you for telling me that. Now I’m half frozen. I think it’s time that we head back to town.”

There was a part of him that just wanted to gather her close while he told her everything about himself. There was a larger part that told him just how foolish that would be.

“Sarah?”

“Yeah, Jimmy?” she asked as she mounted her horse.

“It’s really best that you don’t know all about me. When you’re old and gray and my name comes up, just tell everyone that Jimmy Hickok always tried to do what was right.”

Sarah had never felt closer to him than at this moment.

“Okay, Jimmy. I’ll tell them that.”

He looked sad for a moment as he got on his horse, but then the look disappeared.

“When I find a new place for us to have our lessons, I’ll let you know.”

“Okay, Jimmy. See you later.”

Sarah kicked her mount and headed for the stable at the Pony Express. She was happy that they always loaned her a horse when she wanted to go somewhere. Riding into the barn a ½ hour later, Cody was there combing out his horse’s tail.

“Sarah! You sure do like to ride, don’t you?”

Cody held the horse’s head as she dismounted.

“Yes, I do. I’m just glad that Teaspoon doesn’t care if I borrow a horse when I get the urge to go.”

“You know I’d be happy to go with you when you ride.” He told her with a smile.

“Cody, I do love being with you, but after being with those children all day, sometimes I just need to ride out on my own so I can clear my head. I hope that you understand.”

Cody melted with the look she was giving him.

“I do understand, but promise me that you won’t ride out very far. I don’t want nothin’ happenin’ to you.”

“Promise. I usually only go as far as where you found me that one day.”

“That’s alright then. Can I walk you home?”

“I was hoping you would ask. Melissa left a stew on the stove for me. Why don’t you tell Rachel that you’re eating with me tonight?” She invited.

“Alright, but I’ll have to make it an early night. I have a ride early in the morning.”

“No problem. Tell Rachel, and then we can go.”

“You and Sarah have a good time?” Melissa asked as Jimmy came into the bunkhouse. Looking quickly around, he realized that no one else was there. He guessed that she was cooking tonight.

“I’m surprised Buck ain’t here keeping you company.” He told her as he hung his jacket up.

“I sent him out to get some water and logs. I swear that Sarah must be a terrible shot for you to still be giving her lessons. I’m worried about her being all alone!” She turned away from him so he wouldn’t see her smile.

“Um, she’s getting’ better,” was all he said.

“So what did the two of you do besides shoot?”

“Talked,” he told her, as he hung his gun belts up next.

“Anything else?”

“She’s Cody’s, Melissa. Nothin’ else is gonna happen, so let it go.”

“That’s so stupid, Jimmy. You care about her more than Cody ever could. I don’t understand you!” She turned around with her hands on her hips, wooden spoon in one hand.

“Don’t start on me again, Crawford!” he warned her.

“Or what, Hickok?” she dared him.

“Now what are you two arguing about?” Buck asked as he carried in a pail of water. “Can you help me with the logs, Jimmy?”

“We’re not arguin’ about nothin’,” Jimmy replied as he headed out to pick up some of the logs that Buck had carried to the porch.

Over dinner, talk turned to the dance.

“Who you takin’, Jimmy?” Lou asked the man sitting next to her.

“No one. I just want to go and look at all the purdy girls!” He told her with a smile.

“Since Cody ain’t here, I guess he’s takin’ Sarah?” Kid asked.

“And you’re takin’ Melissa?” Lou asked pointing to Buck.

“I hope to,” Buck smiled at the lady sitting next to him. “If she’ll let me.”

“She’ll let you,” Melissa told him.

“So Noah...you takin’ Cassie?” Lou questioned.

“Yeah. She said she’d go with me.”

“So that means that we just need to find someone for Ike and Jimmy,” Lou decided.

“Now jist cause you’re so happy don’t mean you have to play match maker!” Jimmy told her wagging his finger at her. “Right Ike?”

Ike laughed as he nodded his head up and down.

“Oh come on, Ike. I know that you’d love to have someone special!” Lou told him.

“Don’t know. Never had no one special,” he signed to her.

“It’s wonderful!” Kid told him. “Right, Buck?”

“Right!” he said as Melissa blushed.

“Now you’re embarrassin’ Melissa,” Rachel scolded.

“And I don’t want none of yous embarrassin’ my daughter!” Teaspoon said as he pointed his spoon at all of them.

“Thank you!” she told them gratefully.

“Well, we still need to find someone for Jimmy and Ike!” Lou stated as she resumed eating her meal.

“No you don’t! Let it go! We can find our own women!” Jimmy told her firmly.

Cody walked in.

“You still eatin’? I just had a wonderful supper with Sarah. Good stew Melissa. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome, Cody.”

“You gonna be back in time for the dance tomorrow night?” Buck asked him.

“I certainly hope so since I told Sarah that I would take her. Jimmy, if I’m not back on time, can you pick her up and walk her over? I’ll meet you there,” he asked over his shoulder.

Both Melissa and Lou looked at Jimmy to see what his reaction would be. Lou noticed Melissa’s interest.

“Sure, Cody. But you’ll probably be back on time.” Jimmy told him as he finished his coffee. Inside he was hoping that Cody never did show up, so then he would have the excuse of having to stay with her to look after her for Cody.

“Thanks Jimmy, I probably will be, but I want it covered. I don’t want her sittin’ there and worryin’ bout me if I’m late.”

“I’ll do the dishes tonight,” Rachel offered as she stood up and started to clear the table.

“No you won’t. This is your night off,” Melissa told her. “Teaspoon, do something with her and get her out of here!”

“I can do that!” He said as he stood up and offered his arm to Rachel.

“I’ll help you,” Lou offered.

All the men pulled their coats on and went outside to sit on the porch for a spell. Lou and Melissa worked in companionable silence. What little Melissa knew of her, she liked.

“Jimmy has feelin’s for Sarah, don’t he?” She asked Melissa. “I mean both of us looked over at him when Cody asked him to cover for him tomorrow night. “Does Cody know?”

“Yes he does, and no he doesn’t. It’s a shame too, because I think that Sarah should be with Jimmy, but Jimmy just won’t let her in. I mean he’s only recently reluctantly let me in as a friend. He likes to keep his walls up. I think that he just looks at her as a friend, but he’s definitely got feelings for her.”

“He always does this, you know. He’ll only allow himself to get so close to a lady, and then he runs away. It’s really sad. If only he’d let some lady love him, it could change his whole life.”

“I know that I don’t know Jimmy as well as you do, Lou, but I have a feeling that he already loves her and just hasn’t realized it yet.”

“Boy isn’t he in for a rude awakenin’ when he does realize it!” Lou laughed. “What about Sarah?”

“She cares about him, but she knows how useless it would be to give him her heart. Cody loves her and she knows that. They’ll do very well together, I think.”

“Probably. It’s just that Jimmy has always been one of my best friends. He’d give me chances that none of the others would. He always treated me as an equal. If he loves Sarah, that means he’ll probably never love anyone else. I don’t want him to miss this chance at happiness!”

“But if they got together, Cody would be terribly hurt. He loves her, Lou.”

“I know. I don’t want Cody hurt. Why does life have to be so complicated? But then, I didn’t ever think that Kid and I would get together, much less get married. Things have a way of workin’ themselves out if you let them.”

“Well that’s true. I guess we can wish that Cody gets delayed, and Jimmy has to take Sarah to the dance.”

Lou smiled. “I’ll wish right along with you. You and Buck doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, now we are. He had it in his head for the longest time that I couldn’t be seen with him because of the opinion that the townspeople would have of me. I finally made him believe that I didn’t really care...that I just wanted to be with him. Thank the Lord he finally believed me!”

“That’s Buck alright. He’s a great guy though. You cain’t go wrong with him!” she enthused.

“I’m finding that out,” Melissa agreed.

“You, me, and Sarah will all have to go out ridin’ together,” Lou suggested.

“Wonderful idea,” Melissa agreed.

Cody sure was late. That wasn’t like him, Sarah thought as she checked her appearance one last time. She knew that she looked good in her violet dress. Not a hair was out of place. She had sprinkled on some of the perfume Cody had given her. Now all she needed was Cody. She heard footsteps and a knock on her door. There he was. She opened the door with a smile ready and it froze on her face when she saw Jimmy standing there. And he looked as handsome as he’d looked at the last dance she’d gone to. His face wore a smile, and he held out a bouquet of flowers to her. Her heart was banging in her chest as she took the flowers.

“Hi, Jimmy,” she smiled shyly.

“Oh you look beautiful, Sarah!” he breathed as he took her in. She was a vision.

“Thank you. Um…where’s Cody?”

“He told me that if he was late getting’ back that I was to pick you up and see you safely to the dance.”

“Oh…okay. I’m ready to go,” she smiled, blessing her good fortune as she picked up her wrap and held it out to Jimmy. He took it, and held it over her shoulders. Then he offered his arm to her, and they began their walk to the dance.

“I’m lucky to have such a handsome substitute,” she told him as she squeezed his arm.

“Well, it was either me or Ike, and Ike wanted to get to the dance early so he could check out all the girls as they came in the door,”

“So Ike’s looking?”

“Yeah...he’s afraid that Lou will find someone for him if he doesn’t find her first.”

“And you’re not? I assume if she threatened Ike, she did the same to you.”

“She knows that I won’t listen to her. Lou don’t bother me none.”

“So are the others at the dance already?” she asked him.

“Yeah. I waited the longest hopin’ Cody would show up. He’ll probably be here soon, but I’ll stick close to you until he comes.”

“Thanks, Jimmy. I appreciate that. Does that mean I should save some dances for you?” she smiled prettily up at him.

He sucked in his breath, As much as he was looking forward to being with this lady, he knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to be with her and keep up his resolve…especially wither her looking the way she did tonight.

Walking in, she laid her wrap on the table with all the others, and smiled when she saw Melissa and Buck who were already on the dance floor.

“Find anyone yet?” Sarah asked Ike after she gave him a hug.

“Jimmy shouldn’t have said anything!” he told her.

“You know Jimmy...talk, talk, talk!” she laughed and Ike joined in with her, knowing that it was like pulling teeth to get Jimmy to talk to you.

“You’ll find her when you’re supposed to,” she whispered into his ear before she moved on.

Sarah greeted all the other Riders, and exchanged hellos with Cassie, Rachel, and Teaspoon.

“Could I have this dance, Miss Sarah?” Teaspoon asked her.

“I’d like that,” she told him, and thus began the evening. From that point on, she didn’t see much of Jimmy. At the end of each dance, she was claimed by someone else. She noticed that Melissa was having the same problem.

Ike had been watching the crowd when someone new walked in. To him, he had never seen anyone more beautiful in the whole world. She was shorter than him, with short, dark blond hair. She had dimples when she smiled, and it looked like she had her father at her side.

“Who is she?” he signed to Jimmy before he pointed to her.

“I don’t know, Ike. She must be new in town. She’s pretty, ain’t she?”

He nodded his head up and down, and it was then Jimmy realized that Ike was very interested.

“Why don’t we go and make her acquaintance?” Jimmy asked as he grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the lady.

Ike tried to shake his head no, but Jimmy ignored him. He walked up to her.

“Hi there. My name is Jimmy Hickok and this is Ike McSwain, and he’d really like to dance with you, but he cain’t talk.”

She turned her friendly smile on them.

“Hello Jimmy…Ike…my name is Emily Peters, and I’d love to dance with you, Ike,” she told him offering her hand to him.

Ike took it, not believing his good luck. She didn’t seem to care that he couldn’t talk, or seem very intimidated by it. She had a kind look on her face, so with a smile they began to dance.

“Have you lived in Rock Creek long?” she asked him.

Ike held up one finger.

“Is that one year?”

He nodded his head.

“Do you like it here, Ike?”

He nodded his head again.

“I think that my father and I will too. We bought the old Taylor place. Do you know where that is?”

Another nod.

“It’s kind of run down, but pa and I are gonna fix it up. Is the general store well stocked?”

He was getting tired of this nodding. He wanted to talk to her. He stopped dancing, took her hand, and went over the where Sarah was dancing with Noah. He signed to her, so she excused herself to Noah, and followed Ike over to the side of the room with a lady in tow.

“This is Emily Peters. She’s new in town.”

“Hi Emily. My name is Sarah Brooks, and I’m the schoolteacher here in town. I’m also Ike’s friend. What did you want to say to Emily, Ike?”

Emily watched as he signed very quickly to Sarah. How could she follow it? She loved to watch Ike do it. It was so graceful. His face was so expressive. How come he couldn’t talk? And his eyes...they were the color of a dark blue sky. His face looked very friendly, and she knew that she wanted to get to know him better. How long did it take to learn these signs he was using?

“Ike wants you to know that he’d be happy to help you fix up the Taylor place. You see, he rides for the Pony Express, and he doesn’t have a ride for a few days. He’d like to come out tomorrow and see what all you’ll need. Then he can help you pick it out at the general store. He doesn’t want Tompkins to try and sell you stuff that you won’t need.”

“Oh...I don’t want to impose, Ike.”

“He says that it’s no imposition…that he’d really like to help you out. Let me tell you, this guy is good. When I moved here, he helped to redo my roof, and I haven’t had one leak since then. He’s very handy and knows what he’s doing. Besides all that, he’s one of the best friends that I have, and he could really help you out and open some doors for you in town. He knows his way around. And don’t worry about the sign language thing. It’s fairly easy to learn, and I know that Ike won’t mind teaching you. In the meantime, he’ll bring along a pencil and paper to help you communicate.”

“Well then, I should be relieved that you’re offerin’ this, Ike. My pa ain’t too handy, and I would love your help!”

“Now that it’s all settled, why don’t the two of you dance? It was nice to make your acquaintance, Emily,” she said as she sent them on their way.

“May I have this dance? I cain’t believe that I finally found you without someone!’ Jimmy told her as he came up to her.

“As if you’ve been playing the part of a wall flower, Hickok!” she admonished him. “I believe that our Ike has found him a girl!”

“Yeah, I think so too. You should have seen his face when he saw her walk in. Now how bout that dance?”

“I’d love to dance with you, Jimmy!”

And into his arms she went. She sighed as she leaned her head against his chest. All over again, she felt like she had come home. The rest of the world ceased to exist for her. She just wanted to concentrate on what it felt like to be in Jimmy’s arms.

Yes, this was heaven Jimmy decided as he danced around the floor with her in his arms. He barely heard the music as they whirled around the floor. She was his only reality at that point.

“Look at the two of them,” Lou nudged Melissa as she nodded towards Jimmy and Sarah.

“Yeah...you can see it all in his eyes. I guess it’s lucky that Cody isn’t here, huh?”

“I’d say so,” Melissa agreed.

“Those two belong together,” Buck stated as he came to stand next to Melissa. “I don’t know why he don’t see that!”

“Funny...that’s just what we were talking about,” Melissa told him.

“Why don’t he?” Lou asked Buck.

“I think it’s the usual reason...she’d only end up hurt if anything happened to him.”

Lou nodded her head in understanding as Melissa said, “As in he’d get shot and killed?”

“He knows that one day there will be someone better than him. That’s the day he’ll die, and he don’t want to leave no one behind,” Buck explained.

“Isn’t there any way he could get away from this life?”

“He’s tried.” Lou sighed. “But it’s never worked. It don’t matter where he goes, some gunslinger always finds him.”

“So what you’re telling me is that one day Jimmy will get killed by some gunfighter?”

“Yeah,” Buck told her.

“Then maybe it’s best if he and Sarah don’t get together.”

“No...life with Jimmy would be excitin’. He’d take care of her like no one else ever has or will. He’d love her totally. It’d be pretty amazin’, Lou confided to her. “She’s a strong lady. She’d do alright.”

“And who knows. He could beat the odds.” Buck mused. “Dance, Lou?” he asked as Kid came up.

“Only if I get to dance with Melissa,” Kid declared with a smile.

“She’s yours…jist for this one dance!” Buck warned.

‘How bout some fresh air?” Jimmy asked Sarah as the music stopped for a short break.

“I could use some. Let me get my wrap,” she told him. That didn’t take long to do. Once again, he offered his arm and they strolled outside, heading towards the bunkhouse.

“I guess we could go and see if Cody has arrived yet,” Jimmy reluctantly told her. “I didn’t think he’d be this late. He’s probably rushing around trying to get all cleaned up so he can come and claim you!”

“Probably,” she smiled. “Although I have no complaints about you. You’ve taken very good care of me.”

“What do you mean? I haven’t been able to get near you!” he laughed.

“That’s what is so nice about these dances. Everyone dances with everyone else. In Boston, you had to fill out a dance card. It was all so formal!”

“What’s a dance card?” he asked, suddenly feeling the differences between them again.”

“All the ladies are given a dance card prior to the dance beginning. All the men find their favorite ladies so they can plead their cases and sign up for as many dances as they can. All of the popular ladies didn’t have any problems filling up their cards.”

“Did your card always get filled?”

“Usually,” she told him honestly. “But I like this system much better. It doesn’t matter who asks you to dance here. No one’s afraid of being rebuffed. It’s much better. Boston was much too snotty!” she laughed

“You sayin’ you like the West better?”

“For a lot of things, yes. I mean take you for example.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never would have met a man like you in Boston…and my life would have definitely have been missing something important, Jimmy Hickok!”

He looked down at her then, and she had the most intent look on her face. He made a decision at that moment as they arrived at the bunkhouse.

“Cody!” he called as they walked in. There was only silence. “He’s not here Sarah…sorry.”

“That’s alright. I guess he just got held up. Ready to go back to the dance?” she asked from her position at the door. She didn’t want to venture any further into the building. Being here alone with Jimmy was dangerous. They both knew that.

She watched as Jimmy walked over to his bunk and rummaged under the mattress for something.

“Come here. I want to show you somethin’.”

Wise idea or not, she walked slowly over to him. He held a framed picture out to her.

“This is a picture of my mother. It’s the only one I have of her.”

She looked up at him, not believing that he was willing to share this part of him with her. She hadn’t even had to ask. She looked down at the picture. The woman was gently smiling. She had dark hair, and she could see parts of Jimmy there.

“She’s beautiful, Jimmy. You favor her.”

“You think so?” he asked, pleased.

“Yeah, I do. Your coloring is the same...so are your eyes, your nose, and your chin. Thank you for sharing this with me,” she told him as she handed it back to him. He looked at it for a moment before he put it back under the mattress.

“You had seemed interested and all…”

“What did she die from?”

“She caught the fever and that was all it took. She was weak to begin with.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It must have been difficult to lose her.”

“It was.” Was all he said, wanting once again to tell her everything, knowing he couldn’t tell her everything. That would make them too close. “I thought of a place where you and me could go for our lessons.”

“Oh? Where?”

“There’s an old miner’s cabin up in the hills not that far from here. It has a fireplace, so we could stay warm and dry while you taught me.”

“That sounds perfect,” she said as she once again moved away from him, over to the door.

There was an electric charge between them. She wanted to throw herself at this man, just start kissing all over him. As that thought went through her head, he started walking over to her, an intent look on his face.

But he could kiss her…just once...that couldn’t hurt, could it? After talking about his mother, all he wanted was to be held close by this lady. Sarah didn’t put up any fight as he pulled her gently into his arms. Her lips didn’t fight against his as he began to kiss her. He put all of his pent up feelings and loneliness into that one kiss.

“Oh, Jimmy,” she breathed against his lips.

“Sarah, my Sarah,” he answered back as he began a new attack on her senses. It was then they heard the horse hoofs outside.

“Cody!” they both said, looking a little alarmed as they jumped apart.

“It’s alright…really,” she reassured him as she moved away from the door as it opened. “Cody! You’re finally back!”

“Sarah! Jimmy?” he asked, not being able to figure out the scene in front of him.

“I made Jimmy walk me over here to see if you had returned yet. We were just about to leave when we heard you ride up.”

“Oh,” he smiled. “But I’m a mess! By the time I get cleaned up, the dance will be over.”

“That’s alright. Why don’t you just walk me home, and I’ll call it a night? I’ll be able to sleep now, knowing that you’re back all safe and sound.”

“Did Jimmy take good care of you?” he asked her.

“Excellent care. I have to compliment you on your choice of escort for me tonight. Thank you, Jimmy, for everything.”

“It warn’t nothin’! He told her truthfully, wishing he didn’t have to turn her over like this.

“Ready?” Cody asked her.

“Of course. Goodnight, Jimmy,” she smiled at him, trying to forget, once again, all the kisses they had just shared.

“Goodnight, Sarah. Be seein’ you.”

“I’m sorry I’m dusty and all,” Cody told her as they walked out into the night. He held her hand tightly.

“It doesn’t matter, Cody. What matters is you got back alright. I was beginning to worry,” she fibbed, for in truth, she hadn’t been thinking about him.

“Oh Sarah, I do love you!” he told her as he pulled her into the shadows of one of the buildings and did what he’d wanted to do since he’d seen her in the bunkhouse. Her lips were sweet and warmth infused his cold body.

Sarah honestly didn’t feel like she’d been betraying this man. In her heart, she knew that she would spend her life with him. She knew she wouldn’t be spending it with Jimmy. And she would never do anything to intentionally hurt Cody. His kisses were good, and they set her heart to fluttering. But then some dust got up her nose, and she had to pull away as she started to sneeze.

“Oh Cody...I’m sorry!” she laughed as she sneezed again.

“Come on…let me get you home!” he laughed with her as he put his arm around her, and they continued on their way.

“I wonder where Jimmy disappeared to?” Kid asked Lou was they walked toward Rachel’s.

“I saw him leave with Sarah awhile ago. He has feelings for her, you know.”

“He does?” Kid asked his wife quizzically.

“Yes, he does.”

“But she’s Cody’s.”

“That don’t mean he can’t have feelin’s for her,” she explained patiently.

“No, I guess not.”

“I think he should be with her. They’d be good together.”

“What about Cody? I know he don’t feel that way.”

“No...probably not, but I think it’s really botherin’ Jimmy.”

“Maybe you should talk to Jimmy.”

“Tried to. He didn’t want to talk none about her.”

“Then he’s got feelin’s for her!” Kid stated as they got to Rachel’s and saw Jimmy leading Cody’s horse towards the barn.

“Did Cody get back?” Lou asked him.

“Yeah. He’s walking Sarah home so I thought I would take care of his horse. Have fun tonight?”

“Yeah.” Kid stated. “You?”

“Always do,” he replied noncommittally. “See you two in the morning.”

“Kid...why don’t you help Jimmy out?” she asked giving him a meaningful look. He caught her message.

“Good idea,” Kid approved.

“You might mess up your good clothes,” Jimmy warned. He had already changed into his work clothes.

“No matter. That’s what I have a wife for!” He said as Lou just smacked his arm. She continued on her way.

“You like bein’ married?” Jimmy asked him.

“Oh yeah. It’s one of the best things I ever done. Lou’s wonderful. It’s wonderful to have the lady you love by your side. Do you think you’ll ever do it, Jimmy?”

“It’s hard to imagine someone wanting to spend the rest of her life with me,” was all he said.

“I don’t know why you’d say that,” Kid said shaking his head. “You’re one of the people I trust most in the world. You do what’s right...some woman would think those are good qualities.”

“They might, but then again they might think twice about always havin’ to worry if they’d have a husband comin’ home every nite!”

“One of these days that will pass.”

“Until it does, I cain’t think about lovin’ anyone,” he stated stubbornly.

“So even though you may have met the right woman, you’re gonna let her go and just be lonely for the rest of your life?”

“Who said anything about bein’ lonely? I’ve got all of you.” He smiled.

“Yeah...but Buck is serious about Melissa. I’d bet anything they’ll get hitched. Then you have Noah chasing after Cassie, and I see them getting’ hitched. Ike has just met a real nice girl. Who knows where that’s gonna go? And then there’s Cody and Sarah...we’re all gonna be married. Where will that leave you?”

“A lot of places to go and have supper?” Jimmy asked him as he took the saddle off Cody’s horse.

“Does Cody know you got feelin’s for Sarah?” He asked him point blank.

“No,” Jimmy told him as he handed him a brush. “He ain’t gonna know either. He and Sarah will git hitched, and that will be that.”

“Jimmy, it won’t be right if you love her.”

“Who said I love her? And Cody loves her a lot. I don’t know why you don’t think about his feelin’s. He’d be hurt bad if she left him.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s the only bad part about all of this. But what if she’s the one who will make a difference in your world?”

“She’s already his Kid! Sometimes when I’m around her, the shadows leave me. It seems like I’ve lived all of my life in those shadows, but around her it’s mostly sunshine. Sometimes shadows are safer…at least for now, anyway.”

They looked at each other over the back of the horse.

“Eventually you won’t have a use for the shadows anymore, Jimmy. What will you do then when Cody has her all married? You’ll never leave the shadows then.”

“I’m always watching my back Kid. I don’t see a future. How can I offer anyone that?”

Kid could see the pain in his friend’s face. And what could he say to that?

“I think with her you could see a future, and maybe that’s the direction you need to start lookin’,” was what he finally said before they continued on with the horse.

“You were the most beautiful lady at the dance tonite,” Buck told Melissa as they left the dancehall. He’d made sure that her arm was tucked securely into his.

“I don’t know. Emily was very pretty.”

“I think Ike has fallen hard for her.”

“He’s going over to help her out tomorrow. Don’t any of you give him a hard time about that.”

“How do you feel about him and Emily?” he asked suddenly turning serious.

“I think it’s wonderful that maybe he’s found the girl of his dreams. I think he’s been a little lonesome what with all of you except Jimmy having someone. I think that’s why he spent so much time with his animals. So I hope this works out for him. It’s what he’s needed. Aren’t you happy for him?”

“Yeah...I am…maybe now he won’t want to spend so much time with you,” he told her honestly.

“You’re jealous of your own best friend? That’s terrible Buck Cross!”

“Please don’t be mad at me! Can I help it if I want you all to myself?” he laughed as he circled her with his arms and laid a very nice kiss on her waiting lips.

“How could I possibly stay mad at you?” she asked as she stood on tiptoes and kissed him back.

“Tomorrow’s Sunday. How bout a nice, long ride?” he invited.

“Let me check to see if Rachel needs me for anything. If she doesn’t, I’d love to go on a nice, long ride with you. Tomorrow night I’ll be going to Sarah’s.”

“Would she care if I came?” he asked.

“Probably not, but you’d be bored silly,” she said, trying to think of an excuse why he couldn’t come. “It will be just us talking girl stuff and giggling. I’m going to help her on a Christmas project too.”

“You’re right. I’d be bored silly. I’ll have to be happy with the ride.”

“Provided Rachel doesn’t need me for anything,” she reminded him.

“She won’t. When she finds out you’re goin’ with me, she’ll jist let you go. She likes it that you and I are together.”

“Yeah, I think she does too,” she agreed as they finally got to the house.

“Have a good time tonight?” Kid asked her. Jimmy was with him.

“Yes, I did. It was much better than the last dance I went to.”

“I’d say,” Jimmy agreed.

“Did you walk Sarah home?” she asked him.

“No. Cody finally came so he walked her home.”

“Oh, I guess it was too late for him to change and go to the dance?”

“I’d say so. Well, goodnight all,” Jimmy smiled as he tipped his hat toward Melissa and left them.

“Same here. I have a wife waiting for me,” Kid smiled as he kissed her cheek and headed into the house.

“And that leaves us,” Buck stated as he pulled her against him.

“Not for long. Teaspoon and Rachel are heading this way too,” she giggled.

“Well Miss Crawford. I may not get you alone tonight, but I’ll have you all to myself tomorrow, so you’d best look out!” he warned her before he kissed her soundly. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight.” She smiled up at him, anxious for tomorrow to arrive.

The ladies yawned through the church service, and linked arms as they walked back towards Sarah’s house.

“I’ve been trying to figure what I’ll give to Teaspoon for Christmas, and I decided that I would like to give him some of my mother’s pictures. I’m going to write to Fancy and ask her to wrap them and send them. I just don’t think they’ll get here on time, so I’ll have to have a fill in gift.”

“I know he’ll love those photos of your mother. By any chance do you have any photos of yourself as a child with you? If you did, I’m sure that he would love one of those as a gift since he missed your childhood. We could probably get a frame at Tompkins’ store.”

“What a wonderful idea. I think that I do have one somewhere in my things! What would I do without you?”

“No...what would I do without you? I’ll see you tonight, alright?”

“Definitely. I had to talk Buck out of coming though,” she laughed.

“I hate to ask what you told him!”

“That we’re just going to gossip, and I was going to help you on a Christmas project!”

“That’s good Melissa!” She laughed. “Why don’t you come for supper, and we’ll take it from there?”

“Okay.” She smiled as she left her in front of her house.

Cody hadn’t really said anything about today, but she assumed that he would be over soon.

Buck and Melissa took off as soon as she had changed, fortified with some food from Rachel. They rode off towards the hills, not talking that much. They just felt good that they were together. Every now and then, Buck would point something out to her...something that she would have totally missed without him. The longer she was with Buck, the more she was coming to appreciate the Indian side of him. It’s what made him observant, and made him appreciate every bit of the world around them. How had she been so lucky to find this man?

As she thought he could, Cody showed up. They decided to go out for a ride also, but since she had lessons to plan, she wouldn’t be able to spend the entire day with him. They talked about their parents. He spoke more of where he had come from...expanded more on what his dreams were...listened patiently as she spoke about hers. It was a pleasant afternoon, and he came in with her for a time and sat and read while she did her lesson plans.

Buck spotted him first, but he had known that they were being followed. He had known it would only be a matter of time before his brother made his presence known.

“Buck! Look! Up on that hill!” Melissa was pointing urgently.

“Yeah, I know. He’s been following us for the last hour,” he told her calmly.

“Do you know him?”

“That’s my brother, Red Bear.”

“He must want to talk to you. Should I wait here?” She asked, not really sure what to do.

“No...come with me, but jist stay behind me. He will probably ignore you, but that’s jist the Indian way...specially if he has some business with me.”

“Okay,” she replied as they cantered up the hill.

Getting closer, she could see the resemblance between the two men, although Red Bear’s skin was darker than Buck’s. His hair was very long, and a glossy black. He sat proudly on his horse, and she stared back at him as he looked her over. Then as if dismissing her, he turned to Buck and began to talk to him. She didn’t understand the language, and assuming that they were talking Kiowa since Buck seemed to understand everything that was being said, and answered him in the same language. She sat back on her horse, enjoying the sight of the two of them together. How hard had it been for Buck to leave his brother behind? In a way, since Buck seemed more Indian than white to her, she was surprised that Buck had chosen the white world. Maybe Ike had helped him make his decision. Red Bear only smiled once during the entire conversation. What WERE they talking about? Finally, Red Bear turned his horse, and left them. Buck watched him for a time before he turned to her.

“I guess we’d better start heading back,” he told her.

“I hope your brother didn’t give you bad news.”

“No, every now and then we find each other and get caught up on what’s goin’ on with each other. Just because I left the tribe...well, he knows that I didn’t leave him. He was tellin’ me bout a buffalo hunt they’ll be goin’ on soon. He wanted to know if I wanted to go.”

“Did you?”

“Yes...and no...mostly no. I have my job with the Pony Express, and I don’t want to leave you.”

“Buck, that’s sweet, but if you really wanted to spend time with your brother, Teaspoon would have let you and I would be okay. You know Sarah and I are working on Christmas projects.”

“I know, it’s jist that sometimes when I’m in the Indian world for a time, I find that it’s hard to come back to this world. This is the world that I’ve chosen for myself. It’s easier to jist stay in it, and I know you’d do okay on your own, but I might not do okay without you!” he smiled.

His smile warmed her heart. And once again she sensed the constant struggle he was under to stay in her world.

“You know...you promised that you would share your beliefs with me. We have a ways to go yet. Tell me about your spirit gods and more about your medicine pouch.”

Buck looked at her solemnly. He sensed that she was ready to learn about this part of him, so he began to tell her about the things that meant so much to him. She seemed to listen intently as they rode along, occasionally asking a question to clarify something in her mind. By the time they arrived at the bunkhouse, her head was reeling with everything he had told her, and in his telling, she came to a new understanding of this complicated man. They dismounted.

“You got kind of quiet, Melissa. Is everything okay?”

“Oh yes. I was just thinking of some of the things that you told me. It seems like some of your beliefs make more sense than mine do!” She smiled up at him. “And I feel so close to you right now, Buck. I feel like I’m finally getting to know the real you...not the you that you show to everyone else.”

“Well, Melissa Crawford,” he told her as he drew her near to him. “I’m glad that you feel that way, because I want you to be very close to me.”

Buck closed his eyes as he savored the feel of her against the length of his body. He had this overwhelming urge to start loving her...to be skin to skin with her so he could let her know how he really felt about her. But it wouldn’t be here….never here…

“Melissa, there’s so much I want to say to you…” and he started to kiss her. She responded to his touch immediately. Her hands were running up and down his back, and she knew that she wanted to feel his skin underneath her fingertips. Her fingers worked their way into the V at his neck, and on their own began to unbutton buttons. It wasn’t long before she had both hands and arms inside his shirt and longjohns. They moved to his back, and his skin felt so good to her...so warm...so smooth as she ran her fingers over him as their kiss deepened.

Buck felt like he had electric sparks going up and down his body as her fingers were like little butterflies moving over him. His body was responding to her in a way he had never responded to anyone else. He wanted this woman. He had to make her his.

“Hey Buck! Have you seen Meliss…damn! Why are you two always doin’ this to me?” Cody asked, acutely embarrassed as he came up on Buck and Melissa going at it. The couple jumped apart.

“Well, if you would quit sneakin’ up in us, it wouldn’t be a problem!” Buck stated as he tried to catch his breath and come back to reality.

Melissa felt her cheeks get very warm. She decided she would just try and act normally.

“You were looking for me, Cody?”

“Yeah…Sarah told me to send you over to her place…she’s starting supper.
What’s all the secrecy about anyway?”

“Christmas is comin’! That’s all you need to know, Mr. Cody!”

“Well, if you two will excuse me…” Cody said as he tipped his hat towards Melissa and walked into the bunkhouse.

Buck and Melissa looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Buck told her as he reached out to caress her face. “It’s jist that I get carried away round you! I want to be close to you…make you mine!” He practically whispered.

Melissa leaned into his caress as she smiled up at him. What he said made her feel warm all over.

“I want that too, Buck.”

“One day…,” he promised her before he kissed her quickly. “Now you best be off to Miss Sarah’s afore we git caught doin’ anythin’ else! See you in the mornin’!”

With a smile, she turned and walked away from him. She went quickly into the house, grabbed up the parcel that held the vest and beads for Buck and hurried over to Sarah’s.

“How was your day?” Sarah asked her with a welcoming smile.

“Wonderful! I saw Buck’s brother, Red Bear!”

“I bet that was interesting! Tell me about it while I cook.”

So Sarah listened as Melissa told her about their ride, some of the things Buck had told her about his spirituality, and the meeting with Red Bear.

“So he doesn’t win the award for Mr. Congeniality?”

“Not hardly. I felt like I was a second class citizen. They resemble each other though, and it was so easy to picture Buck dressed in Native garb, sitting next to his brother.”

“I imagine it was since Buck is more Indian than white. I’m glad you had a good day.”

“I left something out. At the end of it we were standing at the bunkhouse chatting and well, one thing led to another...the next thing I knew I’m unbuttoning his shirt and running my hands all over his chest and back…and I’m wishing that he was doing the same thing to me…and thank God Cody walks up!”

“Oh no!” Sarah gently laughed.

“Oh, yes...and after Cody leaves he tells me that he wants to make me his one day…Sarah...have you ever wondered what that would be like? Have you wanted it to happen with Cody?”

“Yeah...I’ve wondered what it would be like. I imagine it’s pretty wonderful if it’s with someone that you love a lot. And when I think about it, I think about it in relation to Jimmy, which will never happen. But when Cody starts to kiss me, as only he can, I have to admit that I think about it with him some too!”

“But Jimmy always comes first?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “And I already know that’s pitiful because it will never happen. And one day it will happen with Cody and that will be just fine.”

“Have you thought about it happening before marriage?”

“That’s what the religious folk always warn us against doing,” Sarah replied as she set their food on the table. “And that would probably be for the best, but I doubt whether a lot of people actually wait until they have the gold band on their finger.”

“So you think you’ll do it with Cody before you marry him?”

“I honestly don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me. One doesn’t really plan these things, does one?”

“No, I guess not.”

“So do you think that it will happen soon with Buck?”

“I’m like you. I don’t know that either, Sarah. Why does love have to be so complicated?”

“I haven’t figured that one out yet! Now let’s eat up and get to Buck’s vest. It’s gonna take you until Christmas to get it done. I drew out a few patterns. You can see if you like any of them. I got them out of a book.”

“So how are all your Christmas projects with Melissa comin’?” Jimmy asked Sarah as they rode towards the miner’s cabin.

“They’re comin’...and don’t you go asking what they are either!” She warned him with a smile. “Where is this cabin at?”

“Jist a little further. If you look through those trees you can see it,” he pointed.

She followed his finger, and there it was. They tied their horses outside of it when they arrived. Jimmy had been there earlier to chop some wood, and he quickly started a fire, while Sarah dusted off the table. She looked over at Jimmy’s strong back as he leaned over the fire. Her conversation with Melissa of a few days ago went though her head, and she shivered. What would if be like to have Jimmy love her of his own free will? To give himself to her totally and not just in bits and pieces? She wrapped her arms around herself and stood up.

“You cold?” he asked her with concern as he took off his hat and laid it on the table.

“No, I was just thinking of something. So today it’s arithmetic?”

“Yeah! I hope so,” he smiled at her. “It should be warm in here in a couple of minutes.”

This cabin gave them an intimacy they didn’t have in the great outdoors, and he realized that this might not be a good idea. However, after asking her to help him out, he couldn’t exactly tell her he wasn’t interested. He really did want to learn how to do sums. He was finding that the more Sarah taught him, the more he was eager to learn other things. He watched as Sarah unpacked two slates, some chalk and various small items.

“Let’s get to work,” she stated as she tried to appear as professional as possible. It would be the only way she would get through this. She pushed a slate across the table, a piece of chalk, and laid all the items out on the table between them. It turned out that it was a bunch of penny candy. Sarah decided to start at the beginning, so she began with addition. And like with reading, Jimmy concentrated totally on the task at hand, and she wasn’t surprised that he caught on to the concept of how to add. She loved the look of pure joy that went across his face when it all clicked with him. They worked on more complicated addition for a time before she called the lesson to an end.

“You are doing well, Jimmy,” she praised. “Next time we’ll tackle subtraction.”

“You really think I’m doin’ okay?” He asked her as he went over to the fireplace and stirred the ashes around to make sure that there was no sign of fire.

“Yes,” she stated simply as he stood to his full height.

“So when you’re old and gray you can tell all those people how smart Jimmy Hickok was?” he teased.

“You were smart before all of our lessons. You’re just more knowledgeable now,” she explained.

“More knowledgeable. I like all them big words that you use. Maybe one day you can teach those to me.”

“Those aren’t taught Jimmy. You start reading books. They’ll widen your vocabulary and teach you what you need to know,” she explained. “In fact, I have some I could loan you. I’ll try to remember to bring them next time.” Sarah put her jacket on.

“I’d like that,” he told her as he put his jacket and hat on as well. If he made himself stay on the far side of the table until she walked through the door, he’d be okay. When he got her alone like this, he just wanted to start touching her…kissing her...let nature take it’s course.

“Ready to go?” she asked brightly. There was a part of her that was disappointed that he wasn’t making any move toward her...another part of her told her this was for the best.

Jimmy saw the look that went across her face. He started towards her, and then stopped.

“I cain’t Sarah. You’re Cody’s,” was all he said, hating himself for saying it.

“I know, but that hasn’t stopped you before,” she reminded him.

“I feel bad about that. We’ve never messed with each other’s ladies, and I think that it’s time that I started to remember that. You’re gonna end up hitched to Cody. God knows where I’ll end up, but it cain’t be with you or with anyone else!”

Sarah looked over at him, hurt by what he said, knowing it had to be said by him.

“So when can we get together again?”

“Three days from now?”

“I’ll be waiting for you. Can you ride with me part way to town?”

“Sure,” he said as he followed her out the door.

Jimmy helped her onto her horse, and handed her bag up to her once she was settled on her horse. Sarah couldn’t help herself. When Jimmy’s face was lifted up to hers, she cupped one of his cheeks with her palm of her hand. He smiled up at her as he leaned for a moment against her caress. Unbidden, a memory of his mother doing the same thing flooded over him.

“Oh, Sarah,” he murmured up at her beautiful face. “Why can’t my life be different?”

There was no answer needed. She smiled sadly down at him before he pulled away from her. They rode back into town.

Jimmy went over to Tompkins store because he had promised Rachel he would pick up some things for her. He put everything in a pile on the counter when he spotted the ring. It was simple. A gold band with a single pearl in it, but it was beautiful in its simplicity. He immediately thought of Sarah and how perfect it would look on her finger. Well, Christmas was coming...and he could give her a gift to thank her for all she had done for him. But he couldn’t buy it and take all of Tompkins ribbing, and he didn’t want anyone in town to get wind that he might be interested in a lady. Then someone might use her to get to him. No, he’d ask Lou or Kid to get it for him. Melissa would probably do it, but then she would only harass him about it too.

He gave Melissa the parcels, and asked for Lou.

“She’s out in the barn,” Melissa told him. “Anything I can help you with?”

She could tell he was very undecided about asking her whatever it was.

“This has to be about Sarah?” she asked him as he took off his hat.

“Yeah, you know Christmas is comin’ and all. I was thinkin’ that maybe I’d like to get her somethin’.”

“Why would you do that?” she asked as she stirred the soup she had on the stove knowing full well why he would want to, but knowing she had to play dumb.

She watched as he blushed a little as he looked down at the floor.

“She’s been helpin’ me with some things, and I wanted to thank her.”

“Oh...that would be nice. Do you have something in mind?”

“Yeah, I saw this ring at Tompkins store…”

Melissa was just about to tease him about his wanting to buy a ring when something stopped her. She realized how hard it was for Jimmy to bring this up with her.

“And?”

“It’s this little gold band with a single pearl in it. It would be perfect for Sarah, and I was wonderin’….if I gave you the money…if you’d go and buy it for me so I can give it to her for Christmas?” He asked her eagerly.

“Sure. I’ll do that for you Jimmy,” she smiled up at him.

“Really? You will?” Jimmy asked relieved that she didn’t fun him about it.

“Yes, I will. If you have the money saved up, I’ll go get it tomorrow morning before anyone else can buy it, okay?”

“Great! Thank you, Melissa!’ He told her as he quickly hugged her and ran out. Melissa just stood there, shaking her head. Sarah was sure going to be in for the surprise of her life. Maybe there was hope for those two yet.

Buck knew that Christmas was getting closer. He’d been searching in his mind for something that would be the perfect gift to show his love for Melissa. He reached his hand under his mattress by his pillow and felt for the cloth wrapped package. He reverently pulled it out, opened it, and looked down at all he had left from his mother. Yes...this was what he would give her...his mother’s necklace. It wasn’t anything fancy…just a long golden cord with some beadwork on it. His mother had treasured it though. Buck had a feeling that some young brave she had loved had given it to her. Before she had died, she had pressed it into his hands, telling him to give it to the woman he eventually married. He smiled as he remembered his mother. She had been so beautiful…he heard footsteps approaching, so he quickly wrapped the necklace back up and replaced it under the mattress.

“Hey Buck. Melissa’s making some wonderful smelling soup,” Jimmy told him as he hung his coat up.

“Great! I’m hungry!” he smiled.

“You love her?” Jimmy asked as he undid his gun belts and hung them up.

“I think so.”

“Told her yet?”

“No.” he admitted. “I don’t know what she would say or if she loves me.”

“She loves you,” Jimmy smiled. “You don’t got to worry none bout that.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah...I think so. You’re lucky.”

“You could be too,” Buck reminded him.

“Don’t start with that. You’re bein’ disloyal to Cody. We should be happy for him.”

“Not when you and me know that you should be with Sarah.” Buck told him mildly. “You getting’ her somethin’ for Christmas?”

“Maybe...don’t know,” he wasn’t sure that he wanted to tell anyone what he was doing. He just hoped that Melissa didn’t say anything to Buck about it. “Do you want to play some poker if I can find someone else?”

“As long as it’s not Rachel!’ Buck called after him.

“Is Ike here?”

“With Emily…” was his answer.

“Then two getting’ serious?” Jimmy wanted to know.

“Looks that way.”

“It’s happenin’ to everyone,” Jimmy sighed shaking his head as he went in search of bodies.

It seemed as if everyone was being secretive as the holiday got closer. While Sarah knitted for Jimmy, Melissa sewed for Buck. All the Riders were sneaking around whispering with Rachel or Teaspoon. And Sarah was hard at work on her Christmas pageant, Sarah made sure that she invited her extended family to the event at the church. That ought to be interesting since the play would be in the church. When was the last time all of the Riders had entered that building together?

The evening of the event was a cold one. Occasional snowflakes were falling from the sky as proud parents and other town’s folk took their seats. Sarah was nervous as she ran all over, tying up loose ends...coaching scared children on their lines, hope against hope that somehow this came off as well as possible.

And it did. Even when Danny Hawkins forgot his lines, it didn’t matter. There was loud applause at the end, and Sarah took her bow along with her students. Then she let out a relieved breath. School was out for the holidays. She could relax.

Jimmy was so proud of Sarah. She seemed totally unflappable no matter what happened during the pageant. He could see her telling the kids what their next lines were, and he could see the love she had for them in her eyes. He had to admit that he didn’t see that much of the play what with watching Sarah most of the time.

Cody helped her on with her coat, and they all went to the bunkhouse for a celebration party, and talk to plan for Christmas. Melissa just felt very warmed with the glow of all those around her. She’d started going over to Teaspoon’s office at odd free moments just to spend time with him, and they’d had some very good conversations. She felt a little closer to him every day.

“I can’t believe it! I’m finally done! What do you think?” Melissa asked Sarah as she held up Buck’s vest.

“Since its Christmas Eve, I’m glad that you’re done,” Sarah told her a little sarcastically. “That’s beautiful, Melissa. You’ve done a great job with that!”

“I see that you’re STILL working on Jimmy’s scarf!” Melissa teased her.

“That’s because I had to finish Teaspoon’s and Rachel’s gloves. I’m almost done with it. Buck is going to love that vest. He’ll treasure it!” she approved.

“I hope so! I didn’t think that I could ever put this much time into some sewing project! He’s the only one I could have done this for!”

“Isn’t it amazing what we’ll do for men?” Sarah asked her. “Will you be over early so that you and I can go to church together?”

“I’ll probably bring Teaspoon and Rachel with me.”

“Great! Then we can all go over to the bunkhouse and start celebrating,” she told her friend as Melissa stared at the vest. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to wrap this up in!” Melissa wailed. “I want it to be special.”

“Hmmmm….” Sarah thought. “I know just the thing. I have some gold cloth that my mother sent to me. We can use that.”

“Are you sure? She probably meant for you to make something out of it.”

“I am...wrapping for Buck’s gift!” She smiled impishly. “Let me get it.”

“When are you giving Jimmy his gift?” Melissa called after her.

“I can’t give it to him tomorrow, that’s for sure…not with Cody around. I’ll probably just have to wait until I give him a lesson.”

Melissa wondered when Jimmy planned to give Sarah the ring he had bought for her. It was a pretty ring, and she knew that her friend wasn’t expecting anything from him.

“Here it is…isn’t it pretty?”

Melissa fingered the material. It felt so luxurious to her. “I’ve never asked, and it’s none of my business, but are your parent’s very wealthy?”

“As a matter of fact, they are. That’s why they really didn’t want me to get into teaching and working for a living. I’m glad that I did though. It makes me appreciate what I earn. Now let’s get that wrapped up before Buck shows up to walk you home.

“You’ll bring this over with you after church?”

“Yes…promise,” she said as she found some ribbon, and they wrapped up Buck’s vest. As they finished up, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in Buck,” Sarah called, which he did.

“All finished?” he asked with a smile.

“I am...Sarah isn’t,” Melissa laughed.

“I will be before too much longer,” she told them, “So get out of here! I’ve got work to do!”

“Come on…just once won’t hurt!” Ike signed to Buck.

“Those people don’t want me there! And you jist want to go cause Emily will be there!”

“He’s rite, you know. Once won’t kill us!” Cody yawned. “If we start getting’ dressed rite now, we can get there on time.”

“I don’t know. The town’s folk won’t know what to do if I show up!” Jimmy laughed, knowing he would do just about anything to spend extra time with Sarah.

“They’ll think hell has freezed over!” Noah teased. “I guess it would make Cassie happy if I showed up.”

“Well?” Ike asked again, looking at all the other Riders. The bunkhouse had been decorated for Christmas, and a large tree stood in the corner, giving off its scent.

“I vote let’s surprise them!” Cody stated as he jumped out of his bunk and headed to wash up.

“Jimmy?” Noah stretched.

“I’ll go if everyone else goes,” was all he said as he looked at Buck.

“Okay...I’ll go…jist this once…but they ain’t gonna like it,” he told them as he fingered his medicine pouch.

“But Melissa will, and that’s what counts!’ Ike told him as they all headed outside to quickly wash up.

Sarah was ready for church, and was surprised to see Lou and Kid with Rachel, Teaspoon and Melissa. They all hugged each other and wished each other “Merry Christmas!” There was a light dusting of snow on the ground, and they could see their breaths as they walked towards the church.

“Am I seein’ what I thinks I’m a seein’?” Teaspoon asked as he rubbed his eyes and looked towards the church.

“We must be hallucinatin’!” Rachel agreed. “They’ve never done this before!”

“Maybe they decided it was time,” Lou told them as they got closer to all the Riders standing by the church steps.

“No...I think it was more because of the ladies in their lives,” Teaspoon guessed correctly as Cassie walked up to Noah and slipped her arm through his. They walked in followed by Ike and Emily.

“Merry Christmas, boys!” Teaspoon greeted Jimmy, Cody, and Buck.

“This is a pleasant surprise,” Sarah smiled up at Cody as he offered his arm to her.

“As long as you don’t always expect it. Merry Christmas, Sarah!” He told her as he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

She gave him another smile before she turned to Jimmy and wished him Merry Christmas with a smile. And like always, her heart started to thud against her chest. He always looked even more handsome in his dress clothes. The smile that he gave her was a special one. They had managed to keep their distance from each other, respecting the rules that had been set. For Sarah it had been difficult though. Why did she just want to throw herself at him whenever she saw him?

“And you! How did they talk you into this?” Melissa asked Buck as she slipped her arm through his.

“I didn’t want to be left on my own since they were all comin’. I didn’t think the town’s folk would mind me showin’ up on Christmas.”

“They do, and I’ll have to arrest ‘em!” Teaspoon declared. “Let’s go in and get a seat.”

Jimmy worked it so that he sat on the opposite side of Sarah. She seemed to smell extra good today, and because the church was so crowded, he was forced to sit with his body brushing up against hers. For once he didn’t mind. He enjoyed listening to her voice as she prayed, and her voice was crystal clear as they sang the Christmas carols during the service. If he allowed his mind to wander, he could picture doing this with her all the time…giving stern looks to their kids as they wiggled in the pews. Wait a minute! This kind of thinking could get him into trouble. But what harm was thinking and dreaming? None at all. It didn’t mean that he’d ever act on it! She’d marry Cody and not him. So he could dream……

All the ladies helped to prepare Christmas dinner, and by the time they’d finished eating it, there wasn’t too much left over.

“I think it’s time for me to play Santy Clause!” Teaspoon declared as he rubbed his full belly.

This was met by enthusiastic cheers, as they all gathered around the tree, and Teaspoon began calling out names and handing gifts to all. Melissa was in awe as she opened her gift from Teaspoon. It was a large wooden music box that played the prettiest tune. In turn, Melissa could have sworn that she saw a tear come to Teaspoon’s eye when he opened her gift to him, the framed picture of herself as a child. They just hugged each other for the longest time. Sarah loved the dress that Melissa gave her, and Melissa thought the shawl that Sarah gave her was the loveliest she had ever seen. When the others seemed a little distracted, Sarah pulled out her gift for Cody and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” he asked with a smile.

“Open it,” she urged. It didn’t take him long to get into the package. Inside was the warmest pair of gloves he had ever seen and a blank journal. “The gloves are to keep your hands warm on those long winter rides, and the journal is for you to start writing all your adventures in. One day you’ll be a great man, and someone will want to publish your memories!”

“You think so?” He asked her, touched at the thoughtfulness of this gift.

“Yes, I think so, William F. Cody!”

“I think that it’s time for me to give you my gift!” He told her as he stood up and pulled her up off the floor. “Let’s get your coat. Come on everyone!”

“What for? It’s started to snow out there!” Lou teased.

“It’s time for Sarah to get the gift I bought her!” he laughed.

“Why is it outside?” she asked him.

“Quit askin’ so many questions!” He told her as he opened the door to go outside. No one noticed that Buck put a hand on Melissa’s arm and shook his head so that she wouldn’t follow everyone else outside. He wanted her for himself for a few moments.

“Now close your eyes!” He told her. “Jimmy, walk her over that way,” he ordered as he put her hand in Jimmy’s.

Immediately an electric current ran through her fingers, and up her arm, but she didn’t dare open her eyes. “Where are you taking me, Jimmy Hickok?”

“Just over by the fence!” He told her. She could tell that he wore a smile on his face since it was also in his voice.

“Okay, Sarah...open your eyes!” Cody commanded, and she did.

Cody was standing there holding the lead to one of the prettiest fillys she had ever seen, She was all black...there wasn’t one spot of white on her.

“Merry Christmas, Sarah. She’s yours,” Cody smiled wide.

“You’re giving me a horse?” Sarah’s voice squeaked. Cody must have been saving up forever for this.

“Yes. You needed one of your own since you go out ridin’ so much. What do you think?”

“She’s beautiful!” Sarah breathed as Jimmy gave her hand a squeeze and pushed her towards the animal. Sarah ran her hand down the gorgeous animal’s neck as she cooed to her. “I’ll call her Panache!”

“What does that mean, Sarah?” Rachel asked her.

“It means someone with a confident, stylish manner.”

“That’s this lady alright!” Cody agreed. “Panache she is!”

Sarah turned to Cody. “I can’t believe that you’ve done this for me. I love her! What a marvelous Christmas gift!” She laughed as she threw her arms around him and gave him a kiss. There were many comments about that. Jimmy didn’t want to watch it, so he turned away and pretended to be interested in Panache. Cody had picked well with this filly. She looked as if she would be strong, full of spirit, and nothing that Sarah couldn’t handle.

Everyone took Jimmy’s cue and crowded around the filly, petting her and telling Cody he had purchased an excellent piece of horseflesh.

Buck smiled shyly at Melissa as he held out a package to her.

“I wanted to give you this without everyone else being around,” he explained. “Merry Christmas.”

She smiled as she took it from him. Something told her that this was something that was very precious to him with the reverent way he had handled it. She opened it carefully to find a necklace. It was a long golden cord with beads attached to it in intervals. It was beautiful in its simplicity.

“Oh Buck...this is beautiful!’ She said as she slipped it over her head and looked down at it.

“It was my mother’s.”

“Your mother’s? Oh no...then you can’t give it to me!” She protested as she started to take it off.

“No!” he reached out a hand to stop her. “Leave it on. I want you to have it. You see, before she died, she took it off and gave it to me. She told me to give it to a special lady when I had one. You’re the one that I want to have it. It looks beautiful on you!’ He told her as he reached out to caress her cheek. He had a dim memory of his mother smiling at him, wearing that necklace. “I think she would have liked you.”

Melissa was so touched that she couldn’t talk. She felt a big lump in her throat, and she noticed that Buck’s eyes seemed a little damp. This necklace of his mother’s meant a lot to him, and he had chosen her to have it. Didn’t that tell her all she needed to know?

“Thank you!” She whispered. “I’ll never take it off.”

She leaned over to kiss him, and then realized that she still had to give him the gift that she’d made for him.

“Here...this is for you. Merry Christmas Buck. I hope you like it.”

“I know that I will.” He told her as he opened the golden material. Inside was a very handsome beaded vest.

“Oh my,” he stated as he took it out of the wrappings and held it up. The beadwork was intricate, and he could tell that it had taken many days to do this. “THIS was what you were working on at Sarah’s, isn’t it?”

She nodded her head up and down.

“Melissa, this is wonderful!” He told her as he put the vest on. It fit perfectly, and he felt proud to be wearing something she had so lovingly made for him. “I’ll wear it all the time! Thank you!” He said as he pulled her onto his lap and began kissing all over her again. Buck thought he would burst with all the happiness he was feeling right now.

Melissa reluctantly pulled away. “Now Mr. Cross, shall we go outside and see what gift Cody has given my best friend?”

“No...I think that I’d rather stay in here with you!” He told her.

“We’ll be missed soon. Come on!” She said as she got up and pulled him to his feet. They grabbed their coats and went out into the dimming light.

“Oh my God!” Melissa said. “She’s gonna kill herself!”

Buck laughed as he saw Sarah astride a black filly dressed in her holiday finery.

“Hello you two! What do you think of my Christmas gift? I had to at least ride her around the yard!” Sarah said as she came to a stop in front of them.

“She’s beautiful!” Melissa told her.

“I think that she and I will get along just fine! Sarah enthused. “Will someone help me get down? Jimmy?” She asked since he was closest.

He held his arms up for her, and she slid, as ladylike as possible, off the horse.

She rewarded him with a smile as she turned to Teaspoon. “Will you let me keep her in your barn?”

“I think that could be arranged,” he told her. “I’m hungry again. Is there any of that mincemeat pie left, Rachel?”

“I think there might be one slice,” she said as they all turned back towards the bunkhouse.

Cody had taken Panache’s reins, and was leading her to the barn. Sarah went with him.

“Now you’re gonna get your pretty clothes all dirty in here,” Cody told her.

“I don’t care!” She smiled. “I just wanted to be alone with you for a few minutes. Is that okay?”

His wide smile covered his face.

“I can live with that,” he told her as his arms went around her. “So Miss Brooks, when will you and I set our weddin’ date?”

“Wedding date?” She asked as she pulled away from him. He didn’t let her go.

“Yes, Miss Brooks, weddin’ date. Is it that upsettin’ to you?” He asked her with concern on his face.

“No...I don’t think so. I’m enjoying being with you Cody. I don’t know if I want to think weddings and all yet.”

“Lou was like this too,” Cody mused. “Is this something all females go through when they get asked to marry someone?”

Sarah laughed.

“No...only the independent ones! We have our freedom. We earn our own money, and we can pretty much do what we want. Marriage sort of represents getting tied down...that’s all. Plus when I came here, I hadn’t planned on getting serious about anyone, much less married, for years!”

“I love you Sarah. I don’t see myself tying you down. If you want to still teach, you can.”

“But most towns don’t want a married schoolteacher. They’re usually single,” she reminded him.

“Well then...you could be the first married one!” he declared. “At least think about it?”

“I will think about it,” she promised. “Will you be patient with me while I take the time I need? I mean you were so patient when I was trying to decide about being courted.”

“I’ll try to be patient, but I think I’d be a pretty wonderful guy to be married to!”

“You do?” She chuckled. “Well, I’ll let you tell me all the reasons in the days to come, and you just might persuade me, Mr. Cody!”

“I hate to tell you goodnight, Buck!” Melissa told him as she leaned her head against his chest. “This had been the perfect day.”

“Then let’s not tell each other goodnight,” he suggested as he kissed her eyelids, then her nose, then her mouth. “Let’s stay with each other all night. I know a place we could go...” and he began to kiss her in earnest, knowing that being one with her was all he wanted.

Melissa was tempted. Having Buck loving her would probably be the perfect ending for this day. But something held her back, and she wasn’t sure what it was.

“I can’t...not yet anyway, Buck.”

“Then you’d better tell me goodnight before I kidnap you, you beautiful lady!” He smiled at her letting her know there were no hard feelings.

“Goodnight then...reluctantly.” She smiled up at him as they shared one last kiss. He watched her walk in and smiled. Would things keep going this well?

Sarah yawned as she reached back and let her hair fall down from where she’d had it up. What a day. She’d received some lovely gifts...her horse...and a marriage proposal! Why didn’t she tell him yes right away? Why did she tell Cody that she needed to think about it? She saw herself being with him for the rest of her life. Because...all you can think of is Jimmy! She told herself. Sarah sighed as she reached for the light to turn it down for the night. She heard a knock on her door. Who could that be at this hour?

She looked through the curtains and saw Jimmy standing there…now dressed in his everyday clothes.

“Hello! I was just thinking about you!” She told him with a smile as she opened the door.

“What about?”

“You don’t want to know! What are you doing here? Didn’t think you could sleep?” She asked him as she sat down and invited him to do the same.

“It has been an exciting day…”

“Yes it was. Actually, it’s good that you’re here. I have a Christmas gift for you that I was going to give you when you had your next lesson, but now’s even better!”

“You have a Christmas present for me?” He asked incredulously. He hadn’t expected one.

“Of course I do!” She told him as she picked up the package and sat down next to him. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Well….I guess.”

“And friends can exchange gifts if they want to. Now open it!” She commanded with a smile on her face.

“But I’ve never gotten a gift from anyone outside the other Riders or Teaspoon and Rachel.” He said, not sure of the emotions he was feeling.

“Open it!” She urged gently, learning something new about Jimmy. Was it possible that since his mother had died, he hadn’t had a lot of love in his life? She just wanted to put her arms around him and hold him tight, but he wouldn’t want that from her.

Jimmy eagerly removed the packaging to find the thickest, heaviest scarf he had ever seen.

“I wanted you to stay warm on all those chilly rides,” she explained softly.

“It’ll do that, alright!”

“There’s something else underneath it,” she told him. He lifted the scarf and saw a book there.

“You got me ROBINSON CARUSO? How did you know?” He asked her, almost reverently.

Sarah watched as he picked up the book and hugged it close to his chest.

“Know what, Jimmy?”

“Remember that I told you I went to live with The Judge and that’s where I got my Colts? He had a daughter, Clare, who wanted to teach me how to read. She was gonna teach me with this book, but The Judge found out and burned the book, tellin’ her that I didn’t need to know how to read if I was gonna be a gunfighter. Clare killed herself about a year ago. She was one of my few friends.”

“Oh...I’m sorry, Jimmy,” she told him. Why, whenever she found out something about Hickok was it something that had caused him great pain? Hadn’t this man ever had anything wonderful and happy happen in his life?

“Hey…I can read now…and I’ll read this book for her. Thank you for these gifts Sarah. They’re wonderful...so thoughtful! I’ll think about you while I’m readin’ the book and wearin’ the scarf!”

“Good! I hate to be too far from your mind!” She flirted mildly, trying to lighten the mood. It was either that or start kissing all over him. “So...you never did tell me why you came tonight.”

“No, I guess I didn’t,” he told her as he reached into his pocket. “Merry Christmas, Sarah.” He placed the velvet pouch in her hands and held his breath…not sure what her reaction would be.

Sarah opened the tiny pouch, turned it over, and watched as a ring dropped into her open palm. She picked it up and looked at it. It was a gold band with a pearl attached to it. To her, it was the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. WHY was he giving her a ring?

As if reading her mind, he said, “I know it’s sort of unusual to give a ring to a lady you’re not courtin’, but I saw it and knew that it had to be yours. I wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for me, Sarah. I hope its okay.”

Tears came to her eyes at the sweetness of the gesture. She nodded her head.

“It’s more than okay, Jimmy. Thank you so much!”

“You sure it’s okay?” He asked her as he lowered his head so he could see her face. It was then he saw the tears.

“I made you cry…” he stated a little bewildered.

She finally looked at him. “But it’s a good cry! I love the ring,” she said as she slipped it on her finger. “I’ll wear it all the time, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to lie if anyone asks me where it came from.”

“I know,” he told her feeling like crying himself. He didn’t understand that. What he knew was that he wanted to hold her all night and never leave her side again. But instead, he stood up. “I guess I’d better go. Thanks again for the scarf and the book.”

“You’re welcome, and thanks for the ring. It really means a lot to me Jimmy,” she told him so softly that he barely heard her.

“Goodnight,” he told her as his hand reached for the door.

“Oh Jimmy,” Sarah stated, as she threw her arms around him. His automatically went around her, and they held on to each other for dear life.

He was afraid that he was going to crush her, he was holding her so tightly. She finally stood on tiptoe, kissed his lips gently, then pulled away from him.

“Night, Jimmy. See you on Tuesday for your lesson,” she smiled. She still had tears in her eyes.

“Night,” he told her as he wiped one of the tears off her cheek. He went out into the night. Once outside, he walked very slowly back to the bunkhouse, feeling as if he had been shaken to his very core. He held the scarf and book closely against his chest, knowing that he had never received anything more precious. Had he done the right thing by pushing her towards Cody?

Sarah let the tears freely flow after she had let Jimmy out. She looked down at the ring on her finger, knowing somehow, that it had been given in love. That thought comforted her.

“You look awfully droopy today,” Melissa observed as she and Sarah sat out on the porch swing at Rachel’s. It was the day after Christmas, and the sun was shinning. The temperatures had gone up a little. Cody was out on a ride. The rest of the Riders were out putting up some new fence. Rachel had shooed Melissa out of the kitchen, telling her to take a breather when Sarah had shown up.

“I guess it’s because I am. Cody asked me to marry him last night!”

“How perfect!” Melissa squealed, and then saw Sarah’s look. “Or not so perfect. Spill it, Sarah. What’s going on?”

“I just wasn’t expecting him to ask that. I was just getting used to courting Cody. Cody’s a great guy, you know that. But the truth is that I don’t love him…not like I love Jimmy!” She practically whispered. “God it feels so good to say that! I love Jimmy Hickok!”

“Oh dear!”

“He came over to my house last night and gave me this,” She said holding her hand out so that Melissa could see the ring. “Did you know about this?”

“Yeah. He gave me the money, and I bought it for him. He saw it and really wanted you to have it.”

“The thing is, how can I marry Cody feeling like I feel about Jimmy? I think I could love Cody given time, but only if Jimmy wasn’t around. As far as I know, Jimmy’s not going anywhere, Melissa!”

“What are you saying Sarah?”

“I’m saying that somehow I have to break up with Cody. It’s not fair to him at all.”

“What do you think Jimmy will do then?”

“Absolutely nothing. He’s made it pretty clear that he’s not going to ask me for a thing. I thought that I would finish out the year teaching here. There’s only a couple more months before the Spring crops come in and the school year is over. I’ll go back to Boston and be the proper lady...make my parents happy…”

“You don’t sound very happy with that decision...and I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’m not happy with it. I’ve come to love living out here. I like the people. I love the way they live their lives. I could live happily out here the rest of my life, Melissa. Bug how can I be faced with James Butler Hickok almost every day of my life and know that I can’t have his love?”

“Oh...I think that you have his love….I just don’t think he’s ever going to give it away.”

“Me neither,” Sarah sighed again. “Life was much easier in Boston. Now enough about this. Where did you get that gorgeous necklace?”

She watched as a wide smile covered Melissa’s face.

“It’s from Buck. It belonged to his mother, and I think it’s the only thing that he had of hers. He said that she told him to give it to his special lady. He gave it to me, Sarah!”

“That’s because you’re his special lady, Miss Crawford!” She smiled as she squeezed her hand. “And I think our Buck is very much in love with you.

“You really think so?”

“Yes...I really think! How did he like his vest?”

“He seemed to really like it. Sarah…he asked me to stay with him last night again.”

“And you told him?”

“That I couldn’t. There’s just something that’s holding me back from it.”

“You’ll know when the time is right Melissa. And knowing Buck, he’ll wait until you’re ready. Now that’s a sign of love,” Sarah replied as she squeezed Melissa’s hand.

“You can’t leave, Sarah! I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Tell you what...I’ll rethink it, and I won’t make any decisions until I talk it over with you.”

“But Cody?”

“I’ll rethink that too. He really is a good man.”

“He really is Sarah, and like you said...Jimmy’s not giving anything away to anyone.”

“Are you stayin’ to supper, Sarah?” Rachel asked as she came out onto the porch.

“Only if you let me help you cook it!” She replied with a smile.

“I never refuse an offer to help.” Rachel smiled.

They bantered back and forth as they cooked. Noah had gone into town to eat with Cassie, while Ike was with Emily and her father. Since Cody was on his ride, that just left Jimmy, Lou and the Kid. It was a nice time spent over supper. With Lou helping, they got the dishes cleaned up in no time. While they were doing that, Melissa saw Buck and Jimmy over in a corner, looking like they were making plans. They departed soon after with no explanation. Sarah and Melissa looked at each other and just shrugged their shoulders.

“I need to go find Kid. See you later.” Lou stated as she took off.

“Want to come over to the house for coffee?” Rachel asked everyone.

“I’ll come. You coming Melissa and Sarah?” Teaspoon asked.

“Um, I thought I would go and see if I could find Buck,” Melissa blushed. “Why don’t you come with me Sarah?”

“As if you really need me,” Sarah giggled as she and Melissa went outside.

They were very surprised to find Jimmy and Buck standing there with their horses, plus Panache and the mare that Melissa usually rode.

“What’s this?” Sarah asked.

“You ain’t got to ride Panache yet,” Jimmy told her. “It’s a nice nite for a ride.”

“And I thought you and I could tag along,” Buck told Melissa.

Jimmy held out Panache’s reins to Sarah. She smiled as she grabbed them and mounted.

“Come on Melissa! Let’s go!”

Melissa laughed as she mounted, and the four of them took off. Buck loved to watch her long hair streaming out behind her. They all rode confidently...the ladies letting the men lead the way. Sarah was thrilled with Panache. Nothing seemed to stop her, and she seemed to have night vision as she missed all the ruts and holes. Riding her was pure joy!

In the moonlight, Jimmy could see Sarah’s smiling face. She looked so happy to be alive...so carefree riding through the night. He was glad that Buck had wanted to go along with his idea, but then Buck would do anything to spend time with Melissa! All Jimmy knew was that he had to be close to Sarah...it didn’t matter how or what he was doing.

Buck put up his hand and they all slowed their horses to a walk.

“We really should cool them off a little. How far do you want to go Jimmy?”

“Ladies?” He asked.

“Let’s stay out all night, and watch the sun rise from somewhere fantastic!” Melissa suggested. Knowing Jimmy and Sarah were there with her, it would be okay to be out all night with Buck.

“Would anyone worry?” Sarah asked.

“No...they’ll know that you’re with us,” Buck replied. “Jimmy?”

“Let’s do it,” was all he said. “Where shall we go?”

“How about up to Baldface Mountain? We can build a fire and talk.”

“We’ll follow you.”

Sarah rode next to Jimmy in silence. They didn’t need to talk. She felt that it was enough to just ride next to him. She knew she shouldn’t be here. She knew she shouldn’t be going along with this plan, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to be close to him whatever chance she had.

Buck smiled to himself. No matter what Jimmy told him, he knew that Jimmy should be with Sarah. Maybe this would help him make that decision. He had seen Sarah around Jimmy and knew that her feelings for him were deep. Yes, this was what all four of them needed.

Continued.....

COPYRIGHT - 2004- M BOLTON & R WOOTEN