The half-breed leaned against the buckboard, which was in front of the General Store, looking down the street. He was very handsome, with very long, very dark hair and liquid brown eyes. A silver earring dangled from his left ear. He wore a six-shooter on his left hip, a knife tied to his left ankle. His face was expressionless as it looked out at the horizon. Suddenly the face lit up with a smile, making it even handsomer, as he saw a familiar figure coming down the street.

“You about ready to head to the Station, Buck?” Lou asked him as she came out of the store.

Buck Cross looked at her, removing the smile from his face. The Station that she referred to was the Pony Express Station. He was a rider for the Express, as Lou used to be...as her husband, Kid, still was.

“No...Kid should be there to help you unload. I have things I need to do.”

“See you later then, Buck,” she told him as she drove off.

He watched the wagon get closer, and breathed a sigh when he saw his beautiful, dark haired friend sitting on the seat. Her sparkling green eyes fell on him and gave him a brief smile. He tipped his hat toward her, mounted his horse, and rode off. He knew that he’d meet up with Melissa soon enough.

Melissa watched him ride off, feeling very content suddenly. He was always able to make her feel that way. She’d met Buck quite by accident a few months ago. Melissa had been loading up her wagon on her once weekly trip to town, and had managed to drop some of the items. Buck had been walking close by and had come to her aid, helping her finish the loading. They had started to talk to each other...feeling a little awkward, but they had realized that they liked each other. Since then, when he wasn’t on a run, he’d usually meet her on her way out of town, and they’d eat a picnic lunch she’d packed and sit and talk. Sometimes it was about their hopes and dreams, at others, about some of their problems. One thing she’d never gotten him to talk about was how he felt about the way people around this town treated him. She had seen the prejudice against him, and knew that’s why he never spoke to her around town. He didn’t want people to look down on her for being his friend. She frowned at that thought. The frown deepened when she thought about what she needed to talk over with Buck this day. That meant she’d best get to her shopping so she could meet him at their usual time.

Buck could feel his heart start beating faster when he saw Melissa getting closer. That wouldn’t do. He had never made an improper move towards her. She was his friend...nothing else. He knew that her parents would never accept him, and he didn’t want to give her up, so her friend he would stay. As she stopped her team, Buck hurried over to help her out.

“Hello Buck,” she smiled up at him as she gave him a quick hug. His strong arms went around her immediately, and she was loath to back away from him. She always felt such great feelings running through her whenever she was close to him.

“Hi Melissa. How’ve you been?”

“Okay...sort of. How are you? How was your run this week?”

“No problems with it...kinda lonesome out there,” he admitted as she pulled away from him and busied herself getting the picnic basket out of the wagon. He took it from her, and she spread a blanket on the ground. “So why are you only sorta okay?”
Melissa sighed as she sat down. “I don’t want to talk about that yet. Let’s eat first.”
Buck could feel something coming from her...sadness? But he respected her desire to put it aside for now.

“Okay. What great things did you cook for us this week??”

Melissa quickly pushed her problem to the back of her mind as she gave Buck a portion of the food she’d fixed, and they chatted back and forth about the happenings around town.

“Didn’t you say that you were going to see your brother, Red Bear, this week?”

“Yeah...I went to the village. He’s concerned because the buffalo hunt is coming up. They need the meat and the hides to get through the upcoming winter, but scouts haven’t been able to find any of the herds. The white man keeps killing them and leaving them to rot where they fall.”

“I know...it’s sad how wasteful they are. Hopefully some buffalo will return for your brother’s people. Winter isn’t that far away. This Indian summer isn’t going to last forever,” she smiled.

“I know.”

“Will you be going with him?”

“He wants me to. I might...” he drifted off as he took a bite of her fried chicken.

“What is it, Buck?”

Buck looked into her concerned face. She had such a kind and caring heart. She had never looked at him through eyes of hate or prejudice or suspicion. She had always accepted him for who he was, even though he’d never gone into any detail about his Indian way of life.

“Red Bear wants me to come back to the village and live with him. It’s tempting.”

“And if you did that, you’d have to give up the white side of yourself!”

“Yes....but the white world expects me to give up the Indian side, and that side is much stronger than the white side.”

“What do you think you want?” she asked softly.

“I want to live somewhere where people accept me for what I am....where I have the freedom to be both Indian and white since that’s what I am. I don’t think that there is such a place.”

“But around any town there isn’t. You’d probably have to go many miles into the wilderness to find that. I also see you as more Indian than white.”

“And that bothers you?” he asked her stiffly.

“Does it appear to?” she asked with a smile. “We meet out here because that’s always been your choice even though we’ve never spoken of it. I don’t particularly care where we meet, as long as I get to see you every week.”

“But your parents would care. The townspeople would care.”
                   
“True,” she admitted with a heavy sigh. “I just wish that I was old enough to do what I wanted to do with my life without having to worry about what my parents thought. If I was in my twenties, I would be considered an old maid, and no one would care!!  Instead I’m only seventeen and have to do what my parent’s want me to do.”

“You’ll never be an old maid. You’re too pretty,” he smiled softly at her as he brushed the hair back from her face. But he knew that he didn’t want to think about her being married. Then he wouldn’t get to see her anymore.

“I’d rather be an old maid rather then go through with what my father has in mind,” she told him, still not looking up at him.

“What’s goin’ on, Melissa?” He asked, sensing impending doom from her quick mood change.

“My father just told me today...it seems that when I was born, they arranged a marriage for me with the son of a friend of theirs. That’s the way it’s always been done in the old country. Next month I’ll be heading back East to get married.”

“No!” he stated as he shook his head.

Tears were running down her cheeks when she finally looked at him. It tore at his heart as he reached for her and gathered her into his arms.

“I’m afraid that I don’t have a choice, Buck. It’s settled. Next month I’m leaving for good. Lord, but I’ll miss you,” she told him as her arms went around him then.

“Is this what you want to do with your life?” he asked her.

“No...” she sobbed into his shoulder. “I don’t want to marry someone I don’t even know!  What if he’s a horrible person? I tried to tell my father that I didn’t want to do it, but he said that it was already decided...a bargain was a bargain...but I don’t know how I’m going to do it.”

Buck just stroked her hair as she cried. He felt like someone was ripping his heart out, and it was then he realized the depth of his feelings for Melissa. They had been building over the months he had known her. And now to have her taken from him? How could he let this happen? But again, how could he not? What could he do for her?

“It might not be so bad, Melissa,” he forced himself to say. “He might be a nice guy!”

“Whose side are you on, Buck? How can you say that to me?” she asked, pulling away from him, eyes flashing.

“What do you want me to say, Melissa?” he asked quietly.

“I want you to say for me not to go...that you would miss me too much...that maybe you and I...” she drifted off.

Buck made himself pull away from her and stand up. He had never found anything harder to do.

“That you and I what, Melissa?”

“That you might want me,” she said very softly, with a look of hope in her eyes.

Feeling more pain inside of himself then he’d ever felt and like a total cad, he took a deep breath.

“And what kind of life would that be for you? Your parents would disown you. The townspeople would look at you like you were a whore.”

“Are you telling me that you wouldn’t miss me if I left?”

“I can’t lie to you, Melissa. I would miss you very much. You’ve been the only lady in town besides Lou ‘n Rachel who has treated me like I’m their equal. I have enjoyed the friendship, but I’m not so stupid as to think that you and I...no, Melissa. I can’t do that to you.”

Melissa threw herself into his arms.

“Why not, Buck? I don’t care how those people would treat me!”

Buck grabbed her by the arms and made her look into his eyes.

“You should care. And even if you don’t care how they treat you, what about the way they would treat any children you might have? You’re not around town all the time. You don’t see what happens to me, Melissa. They don’t trust me. They’re afraid if they turn their backs on me, I’ll scalp them...or worse, call my brother so he and his warriors can kill everyone in the town. My opinions count for nothing. I’m nothing but a dirty savage to them. And if that’s how they treat me. They would do worse to you and to your kids. We can be friends, Melissa...nothing more.”

“I thought that you were my friend...that you cared about me.”

“Oh, Melissa..I do,” he told her as he caressed her cheek.

“You have a strange way of showing it,” was all she said as she took a long look at him.

Inside she felt like she was dying at his rejection of her. She had hoped that he would come through for her..save her from her fate. And now she found out that he wasn’t going to do that for her. She’d have to go east and marry someone she didn’t even know. How could she leave this man behind? Well...obviously she wasn’t that important to him. Without another word, she started to gather her things up. Buck saw the hurt go across her face, and he hurt along with her. Silently, he helped her put everything into her wagon.

“Will I see you next week?” he asked her.

“No..I don’t think so, Buck.”

Suddenly he felt very far away from her. She wouldn’t look him in the eye. When he went to help her into the wagon, she politely pulled away.

“Melissa...don’t let it be like this!” he pleaded.

“It was your choice, Buck.”

With that she got into her wagon, slapped the reins across the team’s necks, and she left him standing there.

As she drove further away from him, he was filled with an incredible sorrow over what he had just lost. A couple of tears came out of his eyes and ran slowly down his cheeks. He knew it couldn’t have ended any other way though. Where would he ever find a lady for himself? Maybe he should move back to the Indian village. Maybe he needed to give up the small white part of himself to find happiness with an Indian maiden. But how could he live his life without Melissa? How? He mounted his horse and rode, not caring what direction it was.

Melissa let the tears flow freely when she was sure that Buck wouldn’t be able to see them. She would have bet that he cared enough to join with her in the fight against her father. Face it! What Buck said about the way he was treated was true. She had seen some of it on her weekly visits to town. And she could only imagine what would happen if she joined with Buck. Her parents would disown her. And she would never want her children bullied and snubbed because of what she had done in her life. So now she didn’t have Buck. That hurt! He had come to mean so much to her. What now? “I can’t go and marry someone I don’t even know. What am I going to do?” She slowed the team down so she could formulate a plan of action in her head.

Rachel Dunn leaned on her broom and had a worried frown across her forehead as she watched Buck walk from the stable towards the bunkhouse. Rachel cooked and cleaned for the men at the station, and she felt as if she were the mother that none of her boys had any longer. Buck had been acting strangely for a couple of days. He’d always been the serious type, but lately he had seemed to draw into himself. She liked to give her boys their space, but maybe she should say something to Buck. Maybe someone in town was giving him a hard time again about his skin color and the fact he was a half-breed.

“Hey, Buck,” she said as he stepped up on the porch.

“Rachel,” he said as he nodded in her direction and started to go past her.

“Can I have a word with you, Buck?”

He stopped and looked at her expectantly.

“Is something wrong?” she asked him.

How did you tell someone that your heart had been cut in two?

“No. Um..my brother, Red Bear, wants me to go along with him on the annual buffalo hunt. Do you think I could be spared  ‘round here for that?”

“Do you really want to go on the hunt?” she asked, wondering if that was the problem. She didn’t believe him when he said nothing was wrong.

“I haven’t been for a couple of years so it would be good for me to go.”

“I don’t think it would be a problem then. You’re sure nothin’ is wrong?” These people knew him too well!

“Yeah. I think I’ll go into town and see if Teaspoon needs any help,” he told her, reversing his direction. He had a feeling Rachel wasn’t going to let his problem go, and he didn’t want to talk about it.

Of course, if Rachel could sense something was wrong, Teaspoon probably had noticed also. Teaspoon was the marshal in town, and also oversaw the station. He was a man you could go to for advice when you had a problem. Maybe he should talk over Melissa with him. But what good would it do? Melissa was lost to him. Teaspoon wouldn’t be able to change her parents’ mind about him. He wouldn’t be able to change the town’s mind about him. Buck noticed that it was getting colder out, and it looked as if a snowstorm was moving in. He sighed to himself as he walked into Teaspoon’s office.

“Hey, Teaspoon...need any wanted posters hung?” he asked as he tried to erase all emotion from his face.

“Yeah, Buck, I just got a new shipment of ‘em in. That would be right helpful,” he said as he held the posters out to him. As Buck took them from his hand, a man rushed into his office.

“Marshal Hunter, I need some help.”

Buck looked up as Teaspoon stood.

“Sam..calm down...what can I do for you?”

“It’s my daughter. She’s run away...I need to find her...”

“Now why would Melissa do something like that?” Teaspoon asked him.

Buck had been mildly interested when the man had come in. When Melissa’s name was mentioned, he really paid attention. Was it his Melissa?

“I think I made a big mistake. I was going to send her back East to get married, but she didn’t want to go and marry someone she didn’t know. It was an arrangement I had made years ago, and it’s the way we did things in the old country. Her mama agreed with it, but Melissa said no... she didn’t want any part of it.”

Yes, it was his Melissa...but where had she gone?

Teaspoon scratched his chin.

“Maybe Melissa fell in love with someone in town. Maybe they run’d off together.”

“No...my Melissa weren’t seein’ no one. I would have known.”

Buck just shook his head. How come parents never knew what was going on with their young ones? Of course, it wasn’t like he was Melissa’s beau.

“Then you think she run’d off by herself? How good does she know this country??”

“Not that well. She’s never been out in it by herself.”

“Son..do you know who Melissa Crawford is?” Teaspoon asked him.

“Yeah...I think I do.....long dark hair...green eyes?” he asked, appearing ignorant.

“That’s her...a pretty little gal,” Teaspoon stated. “I want you to go and find her for her parents.”

“Wait a minute!” her father stated,  “Why would I want a half-breed to go lookin’ for my daughter?”

Teaspoon drew himself up to his full height. “Now, Sam, Buck’s the best tracker in this here territory. It’s about to snow. If anyone can find your daughter in a snowstorm, it’s Buck. I’d trust him with my own daughter!!” he stated, quite offended that Sam would quibble over something as insignificant as Buck’s heritage.

Buck only felt anger in his heart. At least it had proved what he had told Melissa was correct. Buck looked at Sam Crawford with blazing eyes. He had the grace to look away first.

“How soon can you be ready to ride, son?”

“In about twenty minutes. I’ll get some food from Rachel and some blankets...if that’s alright with Mr. Crawford,” he stated defiantly.

“Just find my daughter and bring her back safe. Don’t you lay one finger on her,” he warned.

Buck didn’t say a word. He just turned on his heel and left the office.

‘If that half-breed touches my daughter...” Sam stated.

Teaspoon lit into him. “Buck is better than almost any man in this here town. He is the most honest, trustworthy person in this town. He’s got a good heart, and he’d give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. You should wish that your daughter would fall in love with someone like Buck!”

“You wouldn’t say that if it was your daughter!”

“The hell I wouldn’t! I’d be right pleased if Buck married my daughter, but my daughter is too old for him! Now git outta here afore I throw you out! Buck will find your daughter and take good care of her!”

Buck seethed to himself as he saddled his horse. He’d changed into his warmest clothes, and put some extra clothes and blankets into the roll behind his saddle. Rachel had put some food together for him, and that was there. As he headed out, the first flakes began to fall. He had to find her before she froze to death. Only then would he get angry with himself for not trying harder to make her understand why he couldn’t offer himself to her.


Melissa looked around her as the snow came down. It was starting to get heavy, and she was beginning to panic. She had absolutely no idea where she was. All she knew was that she was cold and hungry. If she ever ran away again, she’d have to make sure she prepared a little better for it. That thought caused her to laugh, and then with a gasp, she reined in her horse.
In front of her were shadowy figures on horses. They looked like ghosts. Where had they come from? Looking closer, she saw they were Indians, and they, four of them, were just sitting there looking at her. She wondered if they were Kiowa. Would they harm her? If they were like Buck, they wouldn’t, but hadn’t she heard of some Kiowa raiding parties?

“Hello,” she tried to smile.

They just stared back at her. Better try another tactic. It certainly would be nice to be rescued right now. Would they feed her? What if she asked for Buck’s brother..and if she was taken  to him, she could try telling him that she and Buck were friends...no need to mention that they’d had a falling out, which she realized was entirely her fault.

“Do you know who Red Bear is?” she asked.

That got a reaction..hopefully it was a good one. She watched as they talked softly among themselves. Funny, but she didn’t feel any fear. But then, what if Red Bear was their enemy? One of the braves motioned for her to follow them, and they turned their horses. She decided that she would have to trust them, so she stayed with them. Not once did they turn to look at her, but she had a feeling that they knew where she was at every moment. It didn’t take long for the outlines of tepees to come into view, and soon they stopped in front of one of them.

They all dismounted, and she followed them inside, taking a couple deep breaths in the process. Her eyes adjusted to the dimmer interior of the tepee. It was gorgeous inside. There was an inviting fire going in the fire pit in the center of the round room. There were furs spread on the ground, and it felt very inviting. Three of the four braves left, while one stood by the door. Seated next to the fire was a very handsome Indian with very long hair. She tried to see Buck in him, but she couldn’t. His skin and eyes were darker. He looked very proud...a little arrogant, and he was looking at her very closely.
“You are looking for Red Bear?” he asked her in a very regal voice.

“Yes..sort of..are you Red Bear?”

“I am. Sit. Tell me why you need Red Bear.”

“Well, I didn’t start out needing you...you see, I know your brother, Buck...” she hesitated.

“Go on..”

“He’s my friend...was my friend...until we had an argument...”
A small smile passed over Red Bear’s face.

“No..it’s not like that. He wasn’t my beau or anything. I think I wanted him to be, but he wasn’t. Anyway, the last time I saw Buck he was telling me that you had asked him to go on the buffalo hunt. I don’t think you were expecting snow this early, were you?”

“No..go on.”

“Then I told him that my father was sending me back East to get married, and that I didn’t want to go. I guess I was hoping that he would tell me that he cared for me and didn’t want me to go,” she said more to herself. “But he didn’t. He said that if we got together they would treat me as bad as they treated him, and he didn’t want that for me. So I got angry and left him and told him that we couldn’t be friends anymore, which was very silly. And then I ran away from home because I don’t want to marry someone I don’t even know, and I already know that was silly too since I didn’t have any idea where I was going. So I ran into the braves, and yours was the only name I knew so they brought me here.”

“I see.”

“And I was getting very cold and tired and hungry. I didn’t plan this very well. I’m really sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you would mind if I could stay here until the storm is over? I would be very grateful.”
Red Bear was very amused by this lady. He could only imagine how his brother felt about her since she was very pretty. He admired her forthright manner, and the fact that she wasn’t trying to hide anything from him. Did his brother care for her? And if he did, wasn’t he obligated to take care of her until Running Buck showed up...because he had a feeling that his brother would come after her.

“You can share my fire and my tepee. You will be fed,” he told her simply.

“Thank you,” she told him with a brilliant smile.

Red Bear could feel something stir from deep within him. If his brother didn’t care for this woman, he knew that he wouldn’t have a hard time caring for her himself.

“Will Running Buck be coming on the hunt with us?”

“Running Buck? Is that what you call him here?” she asked curiously.

“Yes.”

“He was trying to make up his mind. I think that he really wants to come, but I think if he went with you it would be really hard for him to go back to his white world.”

“That would be good!” Red Bear stated.

“I don’t know...and I’m not saying that because I’m white. Buck’s part white and part Indian. Those two sides of him are constantly at war with each other. If he’s here, the white part of him isn’t accepted. If he’s in the white world, the Indian part of him isn’t’ accepted. He just wants to live in peace with both sides of himself since that’s what he is...even though he seems more Indian than white. If he could find that, I think Buck would finally be happy. Could you give him that freedom here?”

“You know him well.”

“Not as well as I’d like too,” she mumbled.

Red Bear laughed at that.

“And what are you called in the white world?”

“I am called Melissa Crawford. I’m so rude not telling you that at the beginning of our conversation.”

“And you did not want to marry someone you did not know?”

“No! Would you?” she asked indignantly.

“No. I would not. It is not that way with the Kiowa. I didn’t know it was that way in the white world.”

“It’s not usually. My father came here from Europe, and he still holds ideas from where he came from. I really tried to make him understand that I couldn’t do it. When he kept insisting that I had to do it, I ran away. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“So you want to marry my brother?”

“I don’t know. There are a lot of problems.”

“Sometimes there are answers to problems,” he stated cryptically. “Now, you must have something to eat.”

“I’ll help you fix it. I’m a pretty good cook.”

The snow was so thick, Buck couldn’t see more than a foot in front of him. He was confused. Melissa’s path was leading right to his brother’s village, but why would she go there when she didn’t even know where it was? Or was he totally misreading the signs? This white world could do strange things to you. Since he was so close to Red Bear’s village, he would go and thaw out..eat something..ask if any of Red Bear’s braves had seen Melissa. He rode slowly into the village and stopped at Red Bear’s tent. He was very worried about Melissa.

She wouldn’t last very long in this storm. He had to find her quickly. He called out to his brother before he walked inside. And you could have knocked him down with a feather when he saw Melissa sitting there with his brother, food spread out in front of them. It looked as if she had been there quite awhile, and she seemed very at home and relaxed.

“Running Buck! I knew you would come for Melissa. Sit...you look cold and in need of food. We have plenty.”
He shook his head trying to clear it, still not saying anything.

“I don’t think he was expecting to find me here.” Melissa giggled. “Hi Buck. Red Bear’s braves found me wandering around and brought me here. Were you looking for me?”

“Yeah. Your father was upset about you leavin’ so Teaspoon sent me to look for you. After I get something to eat, we can head back,” he told her, trying to appear aloof. He didn’t want to get close to her again.

“No, Running Buck,” Red Bear told him. He had seen the look in his brother’s eyes when he had found Melissa there. There had been relief she was safe, and something deeper before he had disguised what he was feeling. “It is a very bad storm. I fear you will have to spend the night in the village. Tomorrow will be soon enough to leave, and by then her father will have missed her greatly. Perhaps by then he won’t be so willing to send her away.”

“You told him all that?”

“He’s a very good listener.” she replied, giving Red Bear a smile.

Buck sat down slowly as he saw the looks that passed between his brother and Melissa. What was going on here? His brother was not usually so tolerant of white people. But here he was making Melissa part of his home...feeding her and making her welcome. He was giving her looks that were making him angry..no..more jealous than angry. Buck accepted the food that Melissa gave to him.

“So can we stay the night here? And I’m not really all that sure that I want to be taken back to my father tomorrow. I will not go back east. If he sends me on the stage, I’ll get off at the first stop or run away if he insists on going with me. Sooner or later I’ll get the hang of being on my own in this wilderness!”

“Or die tryin’!” he told her. “Don’t be so stubborn!”

“I’m not going to marry someone I don’t know. Red Bear said that’s not the Indian way, so I don’t know why you’re so anxious to send me back East.”

“Because your father told me to keep my filthy hands off of you when I found you, that’s why!”
Red Bear shook his head. Why couldn’t these two see how they felt about each other when it was so clear to him? What could he do to bring them closer together? But then, what good would it do when her parents wouldn’t let her get together with his brother? Maybe it should be approached one step at a time!

“When you shout, you do not see what is right in front of you,” Red Bear told Running Buck. Melissa knows that she is welcome to stay here for as long as she would like to.”

“I thank you for the invitation, Red Bear. I may find that I have to accept it.”

“You can’t stay here!” Buck told her.

“And why not? I’ve been invited! I’m seventeen years old, and it’s about time that I started doing what I want with my life. I am not going to marry some stranger, and that’s that!!”

“Red Bear...talk some sense into her! She needs to go back to her parents!”

“What do you fear, Running Buck? This you need to ask yourself. Melissa knows that she is welcome to stay here, as are you, Running Buck.”

Melissa listened as Red Bear spoke a few words to the brave by the door. Buck started to shake his head “no”, and said something to Red Bear in Kiowa. She could tell that he wasn’t happy. Red Bear narrowed his eyes as he looked at Buck, then he looked at her...said something else to the brave, and the brave left. Buck launched into some tirade, and she wished that she could understand Kiowa. Suddenly Red Bear stopped what he was saying and looked at her again.

“We are being rude to Melissa. I am having a tepee prepared for you and my brother to stay in. Buck knows where it is, and it will be ready for you soon. Have you had enough to eat?” he asked her gently.

“Yes, thank you...but I don’t know if it’s proper for me to stay alone with Buck for the night.”

“That answer is in your heart, Melissa.”

Melissa looked over at Buck, and he had pulled very far away mentally. He had his arms wrapped around his legs, which were pulled up to his chin. He wouldn’t look at her. What should she do? She knew that if she told Red Bear that she wanted to stay here, he would let her. But if she could get Buck alone, she could at the very least, apologize to him...try to get their friendship back...see if he would help her find another town to live in. She wondered what he and his brother had been saying to each other.

“I’ll do as you wish, Red Bear,” she told him with a smile.

“Then go. Your tepee is ready. Running Buck will take good care of you.”

“Either that or we’ll end up killing each other,” she muttered to herself as they got themselves up. Luckily, her clothes had dried.
She put her jacket on, and followed Buck back into the storm. He walked her to another tepee, and held the opening up so she could go inside before him.

A fire had been started. There was some additional food..sleeping furs, blankets, what looked like some clothes to change into if need be.

“I need to take care of my horse, Melissa. I’ll be back later!”

She stood looking at him. Knowing, yet not knowing what she wished to say.

“Melissa, I don’t know what game you are playing. I don’t know how you’ve bewitched my brother. But you are Melissa Crawford, and you are going back to be her. You can’t stay here and pretend that nothing is going on out there. Your parents won’t let you!”

“This is not a game Running Buck. Not here! Here all is sacred. I’ve done nothing to your brother. And I will decide when it’s time to go back to the white world and the life of Melissa Crawford. If I decide to stay here, Red Bear will permit it!”

And he knew that was the truth! He’d seen the way Red Bear had been looking at her. If he couldn’t talk sense into Melissa, Red Bear would keep her here as his woman. Did Melissa know that?

“You have no idea what life is like here in the village.”

Her face was very serene as she looked at him. “No, I don’t. But I could learn. There is something about this place, Buck...I can tell that you feel it. I feel like I’ve been a part of it for generations, and I’m just some white girl. You’re at least part Indian, so I know you feel it to your core. I don’t know how you could leave all this to live in the white world.”

“Because when I was younger and had to make a decision, it wasn’t that wonderful to live here. I was ridiculed here, too. I was made to stay apart from those that were the true Indians. That’s why I chose the white world. I didn’t have to live in such a closed community. Things are different now...mainly because of my brother, and because he remembers what it was like for me.”

Melissa spread her arms.

“This is all you, Running Buck. You should be dressed as the other Indians are dressed. You should be able to speak your language at all times. You should be able to hunt buffalo if that’s what you want to do. You should be able to pass your heritage to your sons in the way that you want.”

“This is dangerous talk, Melissa!” he said as he turned to go take care of his horse.

As Buck put his horse in the corral, he let loose with every swear word that he knew. What had he gotten himself into now? Melissa was acting like she was determined to stay here. And Red Bear would let her stay. Yet, Red Bear was giving him a chance with Melissa if he chose to take it. And no matter how this played out, Melissa’s parents were going to be ready to murder someone...probably himself. In the corral, Buck pulled his horse’s saddle off, made sure that he had plenty of feed, then leaned on the fence to look out at the curtain of white.

The facts were that he cared for Melissa..no, it was more than cared. He had felt bad since she had told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. He’d been so happy to see her safe in Red Bear’s tepee. If he could do what he wanted, he would come back to the village, and take Melissa as his woman. There! He’d at least said it to himself. And Red Bear was giving him that chance. What he wouldn’t give to hold her close and love her!  Buck had only been with one woman in his lifetime and that hadn’t been anything serious. It was more curiosity on both of their parts that had pulled them together. Once the act had happened, they went their separate ways. What would it be like to love Melissa? To have her love him back? A very warm feeling filled him. What should he do?

Melissa wiped a tear from her cheek after Buck left. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t he at least see the possibilities of all that could happen between them?

“Because of what your father said to him,” she answered herself. Buck was nothing if not an honorable man. She knew he would never do anything to hurt her, and if her parents disowned her...well, what would she do? Would it be enough to have the man she loved by her side, loving her? Wait a minute...love Buck? Melissa smiled to herself. Yes...she loved Running Buck.

And what if the impossible happened? What if she and Buck decided to make a life together? She wouldn’t be able to go home...neither would Buck. How much did that life mean to him? What ties did he have to it? Instinctively she knew she could be happy here. She could make a life here. Then she sighed. Buck was so far away from her right now; she didn’t think she would ever be able to have him be friendly to her again. Why couldn’t things be easier?
The door flap came open as she sat down by the fire.

“Your horse is alright?” she asked politely.

“He’s fine. Did you have enough to eat when you were with Red Bear?”

“Yes..what were you and Red Bear talking about when you were speaking Kiowa?”

“He was cautioning me about decisions I might make tonight,” was all he chose to say.

“Somehow I think it was a little more than that!” she said a bit sarcastically.

“It was,” he agreed with her. “Are you well? Did you get chilled while you were out in the snow?”

“I’m fine now. I was very cold though. I’m lucky that Red Bear’s braves found me. I didn’t plan my escape too well, and I already know that was stupid.”

“Your father is worried about you.”

“He should be,” she retorted. “He had no right to do what he did.”

“No, he didn’t,” he agreed with her.

“You’re agreeing with me? I don’t believe this!” she told him, surprised since he was the one who had told her she should go back east.

“When you told me about what your father wanted you to do...you don’t remember me yelling no at you, do you?”

Melissa wrinkled her brow as she thought. “No, I don’t.”

‘Well, I did. That was my first reaction to what you told me. I didn’t want you to leave Rock Creek. You were my friend. Why would I want you to leave? Why would I want you to be unhappy?” he asked her as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I wasn’t thinking very straight that day. All I wanted was for you to tell me not to worry...that you would help me think of a way I wouldn’t have to go.”

“And I let you down. I’m sorry, Melissa.” he told her simply.

“It’s okay, Buck, because I owe you an apology, too. I’m sorry that I let you think that we couldn’t be friends anymore. I don’t think I could bear not having you in my life, Running Buck,” she told him softly. “So, I’m sorry I pushed you away.”

He melted at the look she was sending him from her seat across the fire.

“It’s alright, Melissa. I know I was having a hard time without you in mine.”

She smiled slightly.

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know, Buck..I have a feeling that if I want to stay here, I’ll be staying with Red Bear,” she giggled.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Would that be so bad? He’s a nice man. I think that I could like him very much.”

“You didn’t say love.”

“That might come over time, but I love another man. It would take some time for that to wear off.”

“You love someone?” he asked incredulously. “But who? You never told me.”

“You’re upset!” she smiled again. “But liking someone is important. I think he would be good to me...tolerant of me until I learned the Indian ways. You know your brother well. How would it work out?”

“Your father would have the horse soldiers here very quickly to carry you back home. Many would die if you decided to do that.”

“I don’t want that to happen!” she sighed, knowing she wasn’t that serious about staying here with Red Bear. She had only wanted to see his reaction to her idea. She didn’t think he was too happy about it. “I know..what do you think would happen if I stayed here with you? Do you think Teaspoon would stop him from coming here to find me?”

“With me? But what of this man you love?”

“You know something Running Buck? With every minute that passes while you’re here, you become more Indian. You’re even starting to talk like your brother. And now you’re beginning to look like him with your bearing. If you were dressed in Indian clothes I might not be able to tell you apart...well, my heart probably could, and you do have hair that’s shorter than his. Is the Kiowa language hard to learn?”

He fastened on one thing she had said.

“Your heart could tell the difference. How is that?”

Melissa stood up and moved to sit next to him. He turned to her.

“Because once I kiss you, I would always be able to tell who was kissing me,” she said to him a little breathlessly.

“But I haven’t...”

“I know...and I think that it’s high time that you did, Running Buck.”

“But Melissa...”

She put her fingers over his lips.

“No..I don’t want to hear you say no to me. Not now. I want you to kiss me, please?”

He looked at the face he held so dear.

“But this man you hold close to your heart...”

“Can’t you tell, my Running Buck?” she asked before she brought her mouth to his, and questioning with her kiss, caressed his lips with hers. If it was possible to kiss fire, that’s what she had just done. And she wanted more of it!
Buck was fighting these sensations that were trying to fill him up. No...this couldn’t happen. He could hear Red Bear again, telling him to make this woman his, to do what he had been wanting to do with her.

“If your parents know that I even touched you...”

“They will never know...” she said as her lips returned to his.

And Buck lost it. His resolve was gone. His arms went quickly around her, and he pushed her down to the sleeping furs, never letting his mouth leave hers. Her mouth opened under gentle pressure from his, and he explored every part of it with his tongue. It didn’t take Melissa long to catch on to this new way of kissing, and Buck could feel her fingers unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off of him.

Melissa ran her fingers over his smooth skin. It felt wondrous to her, as did the strong muscles in his arms and chest. She pushed him down on his back so that she could see what she was feeling. She followed her touches with gentle kisses. Little moans were coming from deep in his throat.

Little thoughts kept creeping into Buck’s mind as he could feel her hands roaming over his chest. He tried to push them out of his head, but they were persistent.

“Melissa…..” he said hoarsely as he opened his eyes to look at her.

“You definitely feel different than I do,” she smiled at him. Her hair was all wild looking, and her eyes were burning into his.

“Melissa…” he tried again. “Have you ever laid with a man?”

“No…I was thinking that you could teach me. It’s about time that I learned,” she told him, “And I want to lay with you. I want to love you Buck.”

He watched as Melissa began to unbutton her blouse. Once that was done, she pulled her boots off.

“Melissa…it will hurt you…”

She proceeded to take her blouse off as if he hadn’t said a thing to her. He gasped when he realized that she didn’t have any under things on. Her breasts were firm and her nipples were pointed and waiting for him. She stood up and pulled her slacks off, along with her underwear. By now, he knew that there would be no turning back. Melissa proceeded to straddle him.

“I’ll get over the pain, Buck. I can’t say that I’m not a little frightened, but I know that you’ll take care of me. In some ways you always have. Now for the last time, please love me. I need you like I’ve never needed you before.
Buck quickly flipped her on her back and ran his hands over her breasts before he brought his mouth down to her nipples so he could lick them and taste her.

“Oh god!” she murmured as he began to suck on those same nipples. Nothing in her life had ever prepared her for this.
Melissa made herself come back to reality long enough to unbutton Buck’s pants. She wanted to see him naked. She wanted to see what a man was all about. She wanted to feel all that was Buck, and when she saw with her own eyes what an unclothed man looked like, she knew that nothing could be handsomer.

“Teach me, Buck,” she breathed to him as she reached out a hand to touch his erection.

Buck wrapped his hand around hers as he moved it up and down. Soon his hand fell away as he decided to stop thinking and to start feeling the gentle love Melissa was gifting him with. It didn’t take long for the tension to start building within him, and he knew that he didn’t want his first time with her to end so quickly.

“My turn,” he told her, as he let his hands begin to wander over her body. How did women stay so smooth and soft? He wondered to himself. Mother Earth and Father Sky knew what they were doing when they had created them. Finding her secret place with his fingers, he soon followed it with his mouth, and he could tell by her movements and the sounds she was making that this pleased her.

Melissa knew that she was putty in Buck’s hands as he began to turn her into the woman she had wanted to be. When she didn’t think she could possibly feel anything else, he moved over her and looked down at her.

“I’m sorry,  Melissa,” he told her before he fastened his mouth to hers, moved her legs apart, and slowly became a part of her.
Buck could feel her tense up, but he just kept moving into her. When he was totally part of her, he stopped moving for a moment so that she could get used to him filling her.

“It’s okay, Buck,” she told him.

He began to slowly move in and out of her, and she responded by wrapping her legs tightly around him and moving with him. Melissa knew that she had reached her destiny. Being this closely entwined with someone she loved so much filled her with much pleasure. Soon the pleasure was replaced with something else…feelings that were so intense, she would hear herself crying out to Buck and anyone else who cared to listen. Her fingers dug into his back as her body spasmed its pleasure. Buck knew when she got what she needed, and he soon followed with his pleasure, spilling his seed deeply inside of her. And then they just held onto each other, catching their breaths…collecting their thoughts.

Melissa could hear the wind howling around the teepee. How could it be so windy and cold outside, and so warm and comforting inside? How was it possible to feel so safe and secure with Buck laying so close by her side? She smiled to herself as she ran her hands lightly over his back.

Buck’s mind had so many thoughts running through it, they were crashing into each other. He loved Melissa so much he thought he would burst. He knew that he didn’t want to leave her or leave this village. But she had said that she loved someone...who?

Could he change her mind? Buck pushed himself up until he was leaning on one arm, looking down at her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how beautiful you are, Melissa,” he smiled down at her.

“No, you never have..but then I’ve never told you just how handsome I think you are, Running Buck.”
He just smiled down at her before he leaned down and kissed her.

“Buck..what we just shared..that was the best thing that ever happened to me...after meeting you, that is.”

“You won’t think it’s so wonderful if we’ve just started a baby inside of you.”

Melissa smiled at the wonder of his statement.

“A baby!” she exclaimed softly.

“That’s what happens when you do those married things like we just did,” he explained to her.

“I hadn’t thought about that...but what if we have...started a baby, I mean?” she asked, thrilled at the prospect. She didn’t think Buck would leave her if that were the case.

“I guess we’d have to cross that bridge if we come to it. Actually, your father would shoot me, and that would take care of it,” he laughed.

“When are you going to believe that I’m not going back, Buck?...especially now, not after all of this. I hope that we have started a baby. Maybe then you’d face some things.”

“Melissa...what do you want from me?” he asked her, feeling a little desperate.

“So many things..but first I want you to tell me the Indian prayer, in Kiowa, of thanks.”

“It  depends what you want to give thanks for,” he told her simply.

“For you..for all of this..for what we’re sharing right now. Tell me how to give thanks for it.”

He was touched by her words. He could feel himself choking up, and he had to look away for a moment. Buck pulled away
from her and sat up. He started a smaller fire from the large fire. From his medicine pouch, Buck took a small amount of the herbs that were in it. These he sprinkled over the fire and chanted his prayer to the Great Spirit.

“Okay..come and sit by me,” he told her as he held his hand out to her.

Melissa took it and moved to sit by his side.

“Now do what I do, and I’ll say the words slowly so you can say them after me.”

“Okay.”

Buck moved his hands over the fire and pulled the smoke over himself. He brought it to his face and down his body. Then he watched as Melissa did the same things. She looked as if she had been doing this for many years.

And in Kiowa, Buck said his prayer of thanks, offering it through the four winds to the Great Spirit. Melissa followed right behind him, copying the words that he said..stumbling over a few, but it didn’t stop her. She finished the prayer with him, and then turned her smile on him.

“Thank you, Buck. That meant a lot to me.”

“It meant a lot to me also. You are very accepting of this Indian’s ways.”

“I always have been. It’s just that you haven’t shared a lot of them with me in the past.”

“I wanted to, I just didn’t want you to be ridiculed, but you seem determined to have it that way,” he smiled at her.

“Yes, I do, don’t I? And are you telling me that if I stay here it won’t be with Red Bear..it will be with you, Running Buck?” 

“What of this other man you love?” he asked her, reveling in her nakedness as she sat next to him.

“I was speaking of you...hoping against hope that you felt that way about me. Buck, I’ve loved you for so long. I didn’t realize
how I felt until you didn’t want to be with me...until you told me that I should go back east..I realized that I couldn’t leave you!

Do you think that you could love me?”

She watched his head move up and down as he turned to her and took her hand.

“I have loved you for some time now. I was beginning to think that no white woman would ever see the real me, but you have. The only way we can do this is to stay at the village, Melissa, and you have to think carefully about that. If you say yes, you are leaving everything you know behind you. You’re leaving Melissa behind. Your white side will have to die, and you’ll have to become Kiowa. In your heart, you’ll have to become Kiowa. The white part of your heart will have no place here. You’ll have to put up with the taunts of the whites when they realize what you’ve done. And you’ll have to live with the decisions the whites make for us. They are taking away our lands, and one day all will be gone. One day we’ll be on a reservation, depending on the government for everything. Is that what you want for yourself? Is that what you want for our children?”

“And what of you Buck? Can you give up your job with the Pony Express? Can you leave behind those people you’ve worked with..the people that have become your family. I’m sure they love you. Will they let you go? Are you willing to give up that white part of yourself?”

“I think that we both have a lot of things to think about, Melissa. And I will leave you alone to do that. I’ll stay with my brother the rest of the night and think about things. You will be safe here. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Melissa saw the wisdom of what he said, but all she really wanted was to sleep peacefully in his arms.

“Then I’ll see you in the morning,” she replied.

She watched Buck get dressed.

“Stay warm,” he told her as he kissed the top of her head and left her. He didn’t want to leave her there. She looked so alone sitting by the fire. Why couldn’t anything about his life ever be easy? Why couldn’t falling in love be a happy time for him?

“I will,” she tried to smile at him as he went through the door flap.

Buck looked up to the heavens.

“What would you tell me to do, Ike?”

Ike had been his best friend, who had been murdered earlier in the year. He missed him terribly, and a day didn’t go by that he didn’t think of him. He made his way to Red Bear’s tepee, calling out to him. Red Bear bade him enter.

“You are back so soon? She didn’t want you?” Red Bear smiled at him.

“She wants to be my woman as much as I want her to be. The only way to do that is for us to move here with your permission.”

“You have it,” Red Bear stated simply. “I would like to have my brother living by my side.”

“It’s not that easy, Red Bear. I have family at the station, too. I have lived with them for two years. We eat together, share our problems, and help each other out. I love those people, too, and I don’t know if I can leave them behind and become full Indian again. I don’t know if Melissa can leave her white life behind to become Kiowa.”

“What have the white men done for you?”

“Not much of anything,” Buck admitted. “Except for the other riders. They’ve helped me out a lot. Teaspoon and Rachel are like my ma and pa.”

“Then they would understand your love for this woman and accept it.”

“But her ma and pa won’t. They might send the horse soldiers here to take her away. Your people could be hurt.

“If they come, we will fight them, but I don’t think they will come. Your Teaspoon won’t let them. So what you need to decide is how important this woman is to you.”

“Yes.”

“Will she stay here without you?”

“For a time, I think. She knows that you have an interest.”

“Good. It is late, and I am tired. I will leave you to your thoughts.”

Buck laid on his back. He let his mind wander over the last two years..how when the riders first came together, they argued and fought until they all came into their own...some of the trouble they had run into....some of the funny things that had happened to them. Then he thought about some of the time he had spent here in the village, and how at peace he always felt when he was here. He knew that Red Bear wanted him. He had made that perfectly clear. Could Teaspoon make it all right with Melissa’s folks? He supposed he could always go and visit with his friends at the station. They would be welcomed to visit him here. What would it be like to not have to deal with the white people on a daily basis? But then, what would it be like when it came time for the Kiowa to go to a reservation? At that point, he and Melissa might be able to go off on their own.

Buck tuned into his spirits to talk to them...pray for guidance...but it was hard to concentrate. His heart was in another tepee. It all came down to what did he need to do to make his life happy? Would he be happier with or without Melissa?

Melissa sighed as she hugged herself and walked around the inside of the tepee. Recollections came back to her. She remembered her life as a child, and how her parents had spent time with her and raised her. She forced herself to remember Christmas holidays and all of her birthdays. How would she feel not celebrating her Christian holidays? How would she feel not going to church anymore? Not having any of her conveniences that were at her parent’s ranch? How would she feel not wearing her white clothes anymore? Or talking to any of her girlfriends anymore? What about never talking to her parents again? But then. now that she’d found Buck, how would she feel if she never saw Buck again? She had a feeling that once she got used to it, life would be very peaceful here. But what if Buck decided that he couldn’t stay here? Would she stay? Red Bear would probably give her some time to adjust before he made any advances towards her. He was a nice man. She could like him a lot.

“And how would I like to be called something other than Melissa?” she asked herself as she finally lay down by the fire. She knew that she would have to give up everything that was of the white world...that included her name.

“Yeah...I was wondering that myself,” she heard Buck say softly as he came back in. “Sorry, but I couldn’t stay away from you. Now that I found you, I don’t want to let go.”

Melissa patted the fur that she laid on.

“I know that feeling,” she agreed as he lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms.

“Come to any conclusions?” he asked her.

“A few. You?”

“A few. You get to go first.”

“I have concluded that I’ll miss some of the things about being white, but that I think that I will like life here, after I learn what’s expected of me here, and I learn the language. All I know is that if you decide to stay here, I’m staying here with you. If you decide that you can’t live here, then I’m just going to follow you wherever you go!” she smiled at him. “Now what conclusions have you come to?”

“The same. I’ll miss my family at the station, but if I come here to live, I can always go and visit them, or they can come here.
The only thing I’m worried about is the future of the Indians. The government hates us. Sooner or later life won’t be like it is now.”

“Then let’s take our now! I love you, Buck. I don’t want to lose you!”

“I don’t want to lose you either. You make me happy. I love you Melissa. I pledge my life to you...my love is yours forever. As soon as I can arrange it, we’ll be married in a Kiowa ceremony. Tomorrow I’ll ride back to town to fill in Teaspoon about what’s going on and say my goodbyes. Maybe you should come with me and try to explain it all to your ma and pa. I know that Teaspoon will go with you to make sure no harm comes to you.”
             
Melissa rolled over on top of him and smiled happily down at him.

“I pledge myself to you forever, Buck. On the way back to town we can talk it all over and decide what we’re gonna say to people. For now though, I’m gonna do what I’ve been wanting to do since the last time we did it!” she giggled as she began to kiss his soft lips.

“You keep this up, we’ll have babies all over this place!” he laughed, suddenly feeling very good about all of this.

“Good because I want that too!” she said as she became lost in Buck. She knew that somehow everything would work out. They would live happily ever after!!

            
January 17, 1995

COPYRIGHT - M. BOLTON - 2003


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