It was mid afternoon.  The stage was becoming stuffy.  Flies flew in and out of the windows; lighting on an arm or knee, sticking because of sweat that seemed to cover everyone.  Yet the stage rumbled on towards Rock Creek.  It would be their stop for the night.  Melissa Crawford was so tired.  She tried to doze, her head on her arm, leaning against the open window.  She hadn’t gotten much sleep since leaving the train two days before.  She swatted a fly that seemed to keep buzzing around her face.  Would she never get out of this box?  She’d never dreamed that half of her trip to Virginia City would involve being closed up in a box with wheels, with strangers so close their arms and legs rubbed against one another’s!  If she ever reached her Uncle’s ranch, the Ponderosa, she was going to sleep for a week!  In a bed with clean sheets, after a glorious hot bath!  Away from DUST!  And DIRT! And FLIES!  She shifted positions once again, and closed her eyes.  Please Lord; let sleep take her away for awhile!

On a hillside not far away, Indians watched the approaching stage.  They hated the white eyes.  They would attack the stage, just as they did any others that they happened upon.  The more white eyes they kept from entering their lands, the better off they would be!

The leader of the warring band of misfit Indians, raised his lance, letting out a terrible whoop.  The signal that he was ready to begin the attack.  The others dashed behind him in pursuit of the stage.  The driver heard the shrill war cry and let out a loud curse word, as he whipped the horses into a frantic run.  He would do his best to out run the bloodthirsty savages.

Melissa woke as she was slung from her position at the window, bumping into the passenger beside her.  Seconds later her head struck the window.  What was happening?  Dust was covering her from the open windows, and she realized that the stage was traveling at break neck speed.  She wiped at her face, and looked around at her traveling companions.  Their faces were as white as sheets.  She quickly looked out of the window and saw what had caused all the uproar.

There were Indians riding hard and fast towards them.  Some carried lances which they held high in the air.  Others had bow and arrows, and still some carried rifles.  Melissa closed her eyes and prayed that this was all a dream, That she was still asleep.  But she knew it wasn’t, as an arrow whizzed passed her head and struck on of the drivers in the back!  He screamed in pain, and she watched in horror as he fell from the seat a top the stage and was nearly crushed by the stage wheels.  Looking back she saw two of the Indians circling him.  She knew that if he wasn’t already dead, he soon would be.  She silently said a prayer for his soul.

Dust and dirt still flew in the windows as they continued at their high speed.  The other driver was trying his best to get them all to safety.  Melissa watched as the Indians drew nearer.  Their war cries sending a shiver down her spine.

There were three other passengers on the stage besides herself.  All men.  One of them shoved her out of the way, and started shooting towards the attackers.  Another took his place at the opposite side of the stage, firing from the window.  She sat silently with the other young man.  She wondered which of them was more frightened?

An arrow flew threw the window and struck the man to her left in the arm.  He moaned in pain and sat back in the seat, trying to pull the sharpened point from his arm.  It broke off in his hand.  For a second, Melissa looked from the arrow to his face which was filled with pain.  She knew that she couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, so she grabbed the gun from his hand, making her way to the opposite window.  She couldn’t just let these savages kill them!

Melissa couldn’t remember ever seeing Indians before.  She had heard horrible stories about what they did to white captives.  And she quickly wondered if any of them were true.  She watched in fear as they surrounded the stage.

They wore very little.  The lower part of their bodies was covered by a very narrow piece of cloth.  She wondered if it even covered their bodies from behind.  Their chests were bare.  Their hair was straight and very black.  It hung far down their backs.  Some had feathers in their hair, while others wore beaded headbands to keep it from their eyes.  Their faces were painted with red and yellow paint.  It ran the length of their jaws and continued down over their bare chests.  The war paint made them look even more hideous!  The ponies they rode were strong and very fast.  They didn’t use saddles.

Melissa fired the gun in her hand, but missed.  Her hand was shaking so hard, it was a wonder that she had even been able to squeeze off the shot.  One of the Indians was so close that she could reach out and touch him!  She pointed the gun once more, but he grabbed it from her hands, slinging it to the ground.

He reached for the door, and started to pull himself up onto the stage.  Looking around, Melissa grabbed up the thick book that she had been trying to read and pounded his fingers with it.  The act startled him, and he lost his hold on the door, falling to the ground.  The wheels of the stage rolled over him.

For a fast moment, Melissa felt triumphant.  The stage bounced her around and she hit her head once more on the top of the stage.  Suddenly there was another war cry, and she realized that another Indian was holding onto the door.  She reached for the book again, but it didn’t work this time!  The stage swung to the right, and the Indian reached inside and grabbed her by the hair, slinging her away from him.  He succeeded in climbing up onto the stage and before any of the occupants could breath, the other driver was jerked from his seat, stabbed with a knife and thrown to the ground.

Melissa cried out in pain, as the stage came to an abrupt halt, slinging everyone inside in every direction.  Melissa landed in the floor on top of one of the men and for a moment they clung to one another in fear.  Then the door of the stage was opened and three savage faces were starring at them.

Melissa swallowed quickly.  What would happen now?  Would they drag them from the stage, torture them all, and pass her around raping her?  Or would they take her captive to be a slave to one of the many people of their tribe?  She shuddered as she thought of having to live among the Indians, forever a slave to their every whim.  Used against her will to pleasure every Indian brave that so wished it.  How would she ever live through that?  She suddenly prayed for death, swift and sure.  At least in death she would once more be reunited with her parents that had already gone on to be with the good Lord!

The Indians jerked the passengers from the stage one by one.  They laughed at the fear plainly written on their faces.  Talking to one another about how weak the white eyes were.  The three men cowered in front of them, begging to be turned loose.  Offering the Indian braves their money, watches, jewelry, anything they might have of value for their lives.  The braves only laughed louder at their fear.

Melissa was the last to be brought out.  She had been watching in terror as the Indians had quickly brushed away the trinkets that the men had offered in exchange for their freedom.  She knew they weren’t interested in money; they were interested in revenge.  She could see the hatred in their faces.

Their attention was trained on her now, as the brave that had hauled her from the stage seemed to examine her.  Sounds of what appeared to be approval came from the others as the brave lifted a lock of her auburn hair in his fingers.  She flinched in fear as he rubbed it lightly against his own face.  He looked at it in the sunlight.  He’d never seen hair this color.  She was very beautiful.  She could warm his body many times in a single night, he was sure!  His hand slipped down the side of her face towards her neck and further still to her breasts.  What was he going to do to her?  Melissa froze in fear as his hand caressed her breast.

Crying out, she shoved his hand away.  He only laughed at her and said something in a strange tongue.  One of the other passengers tried to shove past the other braves to come to her aid.  “Leave her be!  She ain’t no Indian squaw!”  One of the other braves quickly cuffed him to silence.  The man wiped blood from the corner of his mouth.  Melissa sent him a silent thank you with her eyes.

The brave standing closest to his left, moved over to Melissa.  He reached out a hand to also touch her hair.  The brave standing in front of her, slapped the other’s hand away, and turned to talk to him rapidly in the strange tongue again.  Melissa wished that she knew what they were saying to one another.  She could tell they were angry, and they seemed to be fighting over her!

Melissa noticed that all the other braves were watching the two in front of her.  She couldn’t believe her luck!  No one seemed to be paying her any attention.  She used that time to slip silently away, going around behind the stage.

The men watched as Melissa succeeded in slipping from the group.  Each of them seemed to have the same thoughts, as they quickly bolted and headed off in three different directions at once, hope against hope that they would succeed.  Melissa was climbing swiftly to the top of the stage, reaching for the reins.

One of the braves saw the men scatter, and he quickly took out after them, his fellow Indians running right behind him.  They knew that they shouldn’t have neglected their captives while watching their leader and another squabble over a white woman!  She belonged to the one who had laid claim to her in the beginning, no matter what the other thought! 

It seemed that Melissa had been forgotten for the moment.  She slapped the reins on the back of the horses and they lurched forward, nearly throwing her from the seat.  She heard gunfire behind her, and the screams of the three men that had been with her on the stage.  She couldn’t save them, and she felt some quilt as she popped the reins again against the horse’s backs.  She had to at least try to save herself.  She prayed quietly to the Lord, begging him to let her escape.  Oh please let her be faster than they were!

She dared to glance over her shoulder, and saw the brave that had claimed her, quickly racing towards her on his pony.  He raised his rifle and pointed it directly at her.  She heard the shot, and felt the searing pain in her right shoulder.  She nearly dropped the reins as the pain rushed through her body and she realized that she’d been hit.  It was all she could do not to slip into the blackness that threatened to envelope her.

The Indian quickly caught up with the stage and swung himself up on the side, climbing towards the seat that Melissa occupied.  She watched in horror, the pain in her shoulder forgotten, as he reached out to grab the reins from her.  Suddenly, the stage came to a bend in the road, and the horses took the curve.  Melissa stood to try and fight off the Indian’s hands.  She heard a ripping sound, and realized that the brave had grabbed a handful of her dress.  It tore from the neckline nearly to the waist.  As the stage took the turn, Melissa lost her footing as she tried to make a grab for the front of her dress, and fight the brave off at the same time.  She fell backwards from the stage.  She landed with a thud on the ground, striking her head on a rock.  She saw stars, and the blackness that she had been trying to shake, at last enveloped her.

The brave brought the horses under control, and took the stage back to where the others awaited him.  They quickly raided the stage of anything that might be of value to them.  Anything they could trade.  Taking the horses, they headed out.  The leader glanced back at the white woman.  She was lying at an odd angle.  Her neck was broken.  He hadn’t meant for her to die.  He had many plans for her.  But that wasn’t how things had happened.

The three men that had been passengers on the stage were dead, along with the two drivers.  He smiled slightly as he rode by their bleeding bodies. Five less white eyes that they would have to defend themselves and their families against. He quickly rode after the others.  Not giving the six lying on the ground another thought!


Some miles away, a half-breed rode towards Rock Creek.  He was still several hours from home.  He rode for the pony express and was returning from a run.  He had the look of any other breed.  He wore his dark hair long, past his shoulders.  His eyes were dark brown, but could turn from hard to sensitive in only a second.  He wore an earring in his left ear.  His clothing looked much like that of a white man’s, shirt and vest, buckskin pants, a Colt at his waist and a knife strapped to his left ankle.  His name was Buck Cross.

His mind wandered as he rode at a swift pace towards the station in Rock Creek.  He was tired and hungry.  This ride had seemed longer than the others had.  He was in need of some sleep.  Something had been bothering him the night before.  Though he had camped in his usual place near the waterfalls, he hadn’t been able to sleep.  Something had kept his thoughts wondering well into the night.

Things weren’t good any more.  The whites were at war with the Indians.  His half brother, Red Bear, had asked him to come back and live with his people.  Fight against the whites.  But Buck had known that he couldn’t do that.  Though he had tried for his brother’s sake to be a brave warrior.  He was where he belonged.  At the station with Teaspoon and the others.  He had no idea how much longer they would be there.  The rails were quickly being lain for the train that would one day run from one end of the United States to the other.  The pong express would no longer be needed.  What would happen then?  Teaspoon talked of  war coming soon.  He had a feeling that he was right.  He could see his life and that of his friends slipping away.

He sighed as his horse climbed  hill.  He stopped, looking at the sight below him.  His mind suddenly left his own worries, and went to those below.  There was a stage sitting some 500 yards away.  No horses.  He could count four, no five bodies lying on the ground.  Three of them were lying in different directions as if they had made a run for it, away from whoever had attacked them.  He drew his gun, and slowly walked his horse down the hill.

There was no movement except the curtains that hung in the windows of the stage doors, which the breeze stirred.  He slipped from his horses back, slowly, making sure that there were no others around.  He stepped from one man to the other finding them all dead.  From the arrows protruding from one of the man’s back, he knew Apache had attacked them.  Possibly a  war party.  Lately every stage entering the territory was in fear of being attacked.  The white man was only bringing trouble upon himself by killing innocent Indians and their families just because they were different.  Because they didn’t think they belonged here.  When in actuality, the Indians had been there first!

Well, he couldn’t just leave them there.  He tied his horse to a grassy area, and walked towards the stage.  He would bury them before he moved on.  He opened the door of the stage to make sure that on one was inside.  Making a quick inspection of the interior, he closed the door.  It was then that he saw her.  She was lying sort of behind the stage.  Apparently the Indians had turned the stage around before taking the horses.    She was lying at a funny angle.  Looking as if she might have fallen, perhaps off the stage.  He knew that there was no use in hoping that she was still alive.  The Indians would never have left her if she were!  She had probably broken her neck in the fall!

He drew nearer, and his breath caught in his throat.  She was the most beautiful woman that he’d
ever seen.  Her dress was torn, but it covered most of her upper body.  He wondered if it had torn as she’d fallen from the stage, or if it had happened during a struggle for her life.  It was a shame she’d had died.  He sighed.  Sometimes life just wasn’t fair to take one so young and so beautiful!

As he started to turn away to attend to the burial of the people, he thought he saw movement.  He quickly knelt down by her side.  Was it possible?  He could have sworn that he’d seen her chest rise and fall with her slow breathing.  He leaned over and placed an ear to her chest.  He could hear a faint heartbeat!  He couldn’t believe it!  She was still alive!!

Carefully he lifted her in his arms.  Checking her for broken bones.  She had a nasty gash on the back of her head.  The rock lying to her right was the culprit.  Then he realized that his hands were becoming bloodied.  She’d taken a bullet in her right shoulder.  She was loosing a large amount of blood.  If he was going to keep her alive, he had to do something fast.

Gathering her into his arms once again, he hurried back to his horse.  There was an abandoned miners shack only a few miles up the road.  Not many people knew about it.  He would take her there and care for her as best he could.  He knew that it would shelter them from the weather until she was able to travel to Rock Creek.  Swinging into his saddle with her still in his arms wasn’t the easiest thing he’d ever done.  But he soon had the task accomplished, and was headed towards the shack.  After he had taken care of her, he would return and give the others a decent burial.

As he rode towards the shack, he wondered who she was and where she had been going?  She wasn’t anyone that he had ever noticed in Rock Creek before.  He certainly would have remembered if he’d seen her there.  One just didn’t forget the beautiful auburn hair and slender figure that she possessed so easily!

He drew the horse in at the miner’s shack, carefully carrying her inside.  It wasn’t much, but it did have four solid walls, a bed, stove, and a table with four rickety chairs.  No palace, but would do for a few days.

Looking around, he found a couple of blankets.  Shaking the dust from them, he spread one of them over her and rolled the other and placed it under her head.  He hurried outside to bring in some wood and started a fire.

It took very little time to heat the water that he’d gotten from the river behind the shack. He carefully removed her torn dress and the undergarments, not letting himself think about the fact that he was undressing such a beautiful woman!  But he couldn’t help it.  His gaze lingered on her breasts that were high and full.  His eyes slipped lower to the rusty curls that covered her woman place.  He shook his head, trying to clear it.  But it was no use, her body had stirred something deep inside him.

He washed the dirt and dust from her body tenderly, while he waited for his knife blade to heat in
the coals of the fire.  He knew that he had to get the bullet out of her shoulder and bandage it, if he was going to stop the bleeding and keep the infection down.

He bandaged the gash on the back of her head, and worried slightly that she hadn’t come to yet.  Since she possibly had taken a fall, and hit her head on the rock, she might have a concussion.  He hoped that he knew enough to save her life.

He watched her from the fireplace.  She still had not moved.  But her breathing was the same.  He reached down and pulled the knife from the coals.  The blade was fiery red.  He slowly made his way over to where she lay.  Turning her slowly, he positioned her so that he had a clear area to work with at her right shoulder blade.  The bullet was deeper than he had thought.

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he rested his arm and hand for several seconds.  Then once again he was searching for the bullet.  Luck was on his side, as she remained unconscious during the ordeal.

Finally he located it, and pulled it from her shoulder.  He once more placed the knife in the coals and returned to stop the new flow of blood that he had caused.  Softly he wiped her shoulder and for a moment became lost in her beauty.  Then he shook his head.  This wouldn’t save her life!

Quickly, he picked up the knife again, and placed the red-hot tip to the wound, stopping the flow of blood.  The smell of burning flesh invaded his nostrils, and he turned away.  Looking back, he was satisfied with the looks of the wound.  He had torn clean strips of cloth from her under garments and he bandaged her shoulder with them.  It was all he had.  He hoped that she didn’t get upset about it.

When he finally felt that he had done all that he could for her right then, he placed a few more pieces of wood on the fire, and rode out to bury the other passengers from the stage.  He didn’t think that she would come to while he was away.  More than likely, it would be the following day.  In the mean time, he could have to try and get some food down her. Maybe he could find a rabbit or squirrel and make stew.  At least he knew how to cook!

He was gone a little over two hours.  The sun was beginning to sink in the west when he returned.  Luck was on his side.  He’d found a squirrel, which he would clean and prepare for supper.  He’d also located some healing roots and plants that he would use to make a poultice for her shoulder and head, and brew a tea for her to drink.  He was going to do everything that he could to help her survive.  He couldn’t put a finger on it, but there was something about this lady.  He knew that he had to find out what it was.

As darkness began to fall, he applied the poultice to her wounds and then spent an hour trying to get first the tea down her and then some of the stew.  He had found enough wood to keep them warm for the night.  But tomorrow, he would have to locate some more.  Even though the days were still warm, the nights were beginning to get rather cool.  He wiped her forehead with a damp cloth, checking to make sure that there wasn’t any fever.  She felt a little warm, but he tried not to worry about it.

He sat up well into the night watching her steady breathing from his place by the fire.  He had spread his bedroll there, wanting to be close to her in case she needed him during the night.  He tried to sleep.  He was exhausted.  But he couldn’t.  He was too wrapped around the young woman lying only a few feet away from him to rest!

The second day, she developed a fever.  Buck had found an ax behind the shack, and was chopping wood.  He’d been thinking about going to Rock Creek, knowing that they would need some supplies if they were going to stay at the shack for a few more days.  He didn’t want to move her, so he would have to go soon to get a few things.  Besides, he needed to let Teaspoon know that he was okay, and tell him about the stage.

He was carrying an armload of wood into the shack, when he heard her moans.  He could tell that her face and chest were wet with sweat.  He quickly deposited the load of wood, and hurried towards her.  She was thrashing about on the bed, and had kicked the blankets off into the floor.  Bathing her upper body with a cool cloth, he knew that he had to gather more herbs for tea.  Covering her once more, and tucking the blankets in around her, he left the shack, worry quickly surrounding him.

She was out of her head.  Calling names of different people.  Buck wondered, as he tried once more to get the tea down her, who they were.  Family?  Friends?  Husband?  He just didn’t know.  The only thing that he was sure of, was that he wasn’t going to let her die!

Night was beginning to fall once more.  He had spent most of the afternoon by her side.  Her fever seemed to be climbing higher, and he was beginning to wonder about her chances of pulling through this.  He knew that he had to get her fever down, or she would die!  One minute she was burning up, kicking the blankets off into the floor.  The next, she was shivering as chills set in on her.  How was he going to keep her warm during the night?  He was worn out and he knew that if he fell asleep, she could kick the blankets off and he would never know it.  Two days and nights had come and gone.  He hadn’t slept much at all.  He wasn’t sure that he could stay up another night.  He was already beginning to feel his body slowing down.

He reheated the stew over the fire, and spooned bites of it into her.  She was calm for the moment, but was still very warm.  When he’d finished feeding her, he tucked the blankets back around her, and sat down by the fire.  He wished that they were closer to his brother’s village.  He could take her there to the medicine man, he knew that they would help her.  But they were miles away and he didn’t want to move her.  He was afraid to even take her to Rock Creek, which wasn’t that far away.  He knew that it could do her more harm than good.  Her shoulder was beginning to look better.  The poultice was helping.  But moving her might reopen the wound.  But she was still unconscious.  That probably had a lot to do with her body being in shock from what she had gone through.

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair, and glanced her way again.  She was so beautiful!  He wished that he knew what it was about her that seemed to be pulling him.  He could feel his body beginning to relax as his mind fantasized about the beautiful lady lying only a few feet from him.  He rested his head on his knees.  If he closed his eyes for a few minutes maybe he would feel better.

A few hours later, her moans caused him to jerk back to the present.  He quickly jumped to his feet, and hurried over to the bed.  Once again, she had kicked the blankets to the floor, and now she was shivering from the chills that were taking control of her body.  Buck quickly turned back to the fire and threw another piece of wood onto the dying flames.  Then he picked up the blankets and for a moment stood holding them.  There was only one thing that he could think of to do.  He needed some sleep, and she needed to be kept warm.

He started removing his clothes and boots.  Striping down to his long underwear, he climbed onto the mattress beside her, spreading the blankets over them both.  Tucking the ends around her.  She was still shivering, as he moved closer to her, taking her into his arms, pulling her body as close to his own as he possibly could.  She didn’t fight him.  Instead, she seemed to snuggle closer to him, seeking his body heat.

Her body was hot from the fever.  After a time, her shivering ceased.  As she fell into a peaceful sleep, Buck began to relax also.  He hadn’t realized until then that he had been laying stiffly at her side.

He just wasn’t used to doing something like this!  The only other woman that he had ever held in this manner, had only used him for her own selfish gains.  It had been a long time ago.  Kathleen had crushed his heart, and maybe even a little of his spirit.  He’d sworn off females after her!

He smiled slightly as he recalled his best friend Ike, teasing him about it.  Trying to make him feel better.  But he had been ever so serious in telling Ike that he wasn’t interested in ladies any more!  He doubted that he would even look at one again.....aside form Rachel and Lou at the station!  If Ike were still alive, he knew what sort of teasing he would receive.  Even if Buck didn’t tell him, Ike would be able to read it.  That was how close the two of them had been.

He sighed.  Kathleen wandered back across his mind.  She had been so beautiful, so sweet.  Why hadn’t he realized that underneath all that, that she was nothing but a devil in disguise?  She had only used him, to get her father’s attention.  She had not loved him as she’d lead him to believe.  He’d foolishly given his heart to her, and it had been stepped on.

He glances back to the woman in his arms.  Would she be like the Kathleen’s of the world?  Or would she be sweet, kind, loving?  The feelings that he had for her, they weren’t the same as what he’d had for Kathleen.  These were much stronger.  But it was so crazy to be feeling them!  He knew nothing about her...not even her name!  He knew deep inside that she would end up being just like all the others.  Take one look at him, and run quickly away.  The Indian scared them off. 
None of the ladies of Rock Creek were even allowed to talk to him.  Their father’s whisked them away before he could even say hello!  He wasn’t fit to be seen with their precious daughters!  Didn’t they think he had feelings too?  Didn’t they think that he wanted someone to be a part of his life?  To be able to marry and raise a family?

It was no use thinking these thoughts.  Nothing was going to change.  He would always be looked upon as an outcast.  He didn’t belong in the white man’s world..yet he couldn’t live in the Indian one either!  So where did that leave??

The lady in his arms stirred, snuggling closer against his body.  The light from the fire cast a golden glow around the bed where they lay.  He reached out and picked up a lock of her auburn hair, gently rubbing it between his fingers.  He became suddenly aware of her body pulled so close against his own.  He could feel her every curve, and his own skin tingled where her satin softness touched him.  Pulling her a little closer , he closed his eyes.  He could enjoy the feel of her in his arms for now.  But he would be a fool to think that it would go beyond this!

Buck fell into a fitful sleep.  Every time he awoke, he would check her for fever.  The blankets stayed tucked in and she didn’t move about much during the night.  Her skin was cool to the touch and he hoped that she had come through the worst of things.

Once when he awoke, he moved a little ways from her, stretching out a leg that had gone to sleep.  When his body broke contact with hers, she whimpered softly and moved backwards until her body was once more pressing into his.  Her small rear end brushed against him intimately, and he could feel his body coming alive against hers.  He tried not to think about it, as he closed his eyes and willed himself back to sleep.  Nothing could be gained by any of this.  She was just a woman in need, and that was all!  He would help her through this and then she would be gone!  Never to give him another thought!  He drew in a ragged breath.  By now it would seem that he should be used to life being this way.....but at times, it was so very hard!

The morning sun woke Buck.  She was still lying in the curve of his arm, a peaceful look on her face.  Raising on elbows, he placed a hand to her forehead.  It was cool!  The fever was gone!  Smiling, to himself, he slipped from the bed, and pulled on his clothes.  She didn’t stir.  Her sleep seemed more restful.  Hopefully she would wake up today.  She needed to come back to the world of the living.  If she didn’t soon wake up, he was going to think the bump on the back of her head had been much worse than he’d thought.  If that were the case, then he would have to take her to Rock Creek.  He would have no choice!

After spooning some tea into her, Buck tucked the blankets around her once more.  Hopefully she would be okay for a few hours.  He had decided once during the night when he’d awaken, that he had to go to Rock Creek today.  Or else Teaspoon would be sending out a search party for him.  He was two days late getting back from his run.  Besides, when the beautiful lady woke up, she would need some food.  There wasn’t anything left in the cabin.  Giving her one last look, he headed out to saddle his horse.  It would take him a little over an hour to reach town.

As he rode along, he wondered what he should tell Teaspoon.  He needed to tell him about the stage.  But for some reason, he didn’t want anyone to know about the beautiful lady!  At least not right now.  Maybe after she was up and about, and felt like traveling, then he would take her to the station.  For now though, she was his and his alone!

Her face seemed to swim before his eyes.  Did she belong to someone?  Was she married?  She wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, but that could have been taken by the Apache.  In the back of his mind, he knew that he was wishing that she didn’t have a special someone who was waiting on her.  Worried that she hadn’t reached her destination....where ever that might be.  He pushed the thoughts aside, telling himself that it wouldn’t matter any way.  She wouldn’t want anything to do with him!


Teaspoon Hunter looked worriedly out onto the dirt street of Rock Creek.  He was the marshal of the little town.  Things were peaceful and the people were milling around as they usually did this early in the morning.  But he had an uneasy feeling.  One of his riders hadn’t come back form their last run.  Usually, Buck was back the next day.  He hoped that things were okay.  When something happened to one of them, it was like it was happening to him personally!  He sighed as he turned back into his office.  If Buck didn’t show up by noon, he would send two of the other riders out to look for him.  He knew that Buck was capable of taking care of himself, but at times the fact that he was part Indian set people’s teeth on edge.  Some folks were known to try and get even with the entire Indian population through one person...and a lot of times, Buck was that person!


Buck rode into Rock Creek at a gallop.  He stopped in front of the marshal’s office and wasn’t surprised to see Teaspoon already there.  Slipping from the horses back, he walked towards the door.

Teaspoon had just sat down at his desk and picked up a stack of wanted posters, when he heard foot steps at the door.  When he realized that it was Buck standing there, he let out a sigh of relief and jumped to his feet.

“Son, is you alrite?  Where you been?”  Teaspoon was busily checking him over from head to top with his eyes.  He didn’t seem to be hurt in any way.

Buck walked on into the office, taking his hat off.  “I’m alrite Teaspoon.  But some folks I run into on the way back ain’t as lucky as me!”

Teaspoon looked concerned.  The town had been waiting on the stage for two days.  It had left it’s last stop right on time.  Though no one was awaiting any passengers, they were still concerned that it had not yet arrived.  With all the Indian trouble in the area, everyone was thinking the worst!  “The stage ain’t been through yet.  Two days late.  That what you done come
across?”

Buck nodded, and Teaspoon closed his eyes.  “Lordy!  Lordy!  What’d you find?”

“Attacked by Apaches.  Took the horses and most everything else from the stage.  I buried the bodies.  Jist couldn’t leave ‘em out there like that!”

“How many?”

“The drivers and three other men.”

“You done rite son.  I was a feared somethin’ like that had happened when it didn’t come through.  Well, if’n anyone starts lookin’, we’ll know what to tell ‘em happened to their kin!”  He ran a hand through his graying hair, then looked towards Buck.  “I was about to think the worst bout you!  Where you been?  It ain’t like you to not be back the next day from a run.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you none.  I needed to take care of them people and a few other things.  Fact is, I still need a few days, if’n you ain’t a needin’ me.  I ain’t got ‘nother run for a few days.”

“Well, I reckon it’d be alrite.  There ain’t nothin’ pushin’.  Take what you need from Tompkins’ store and tell him to put it on the bill.  If’n you need any help, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks Teaspoon.”  Buck nodded, and headed back towards the door.  He’d known that Teaspoon wouldn’t ask too many questions.

Teaspoon watched him swing back into the saddle and ride towards the store.  He wondered what was going on.  He seemed to be hiding something.  But he knew that he wouldn’t tell what it was until he was ready.  Buck had a good head on his shoulders.  If he needed help, he would ask for it.  He turned back to his paper work.  At least he knew that he was all right!

Buck made a mental list of the things that he needed form the store.  He should probably see about getting her some clothes to wear too.  She didn’t have anything but the torn dress she’d had on when he’d found her. There had been nothing at the stage.  The Apache had taken everything they considered valuable enough to trade.  He had no idea how to buy something for a woman to wear!

As he dismounted in front of the store, he noticed Lou and Kid walking his way.  Perhaps he could get Lou to loan him a dress.  She was about the same size as the lady at the shack.  He smiled to himself.  This was falling into place nicely.

“Buck’s back!”  Lou tugged on her husband’s sleeve as they walked towards Tompkins’ store.

“I know that relieved Teaspoon’s mind.  I could tell he was worried bout him last nite when we was at the station.  He weren’t himself over supper!”

“I’ve got to git a few things from Tompkins’.  I’ll make sure things are okay with him.  See you for lunch.”  She leaned near and kissed Kid’s lips softly.  Smiling up into his eyes, she headed for the store.

Kid watched her walk away.  He knew that she was a good friend with all the riders for the express.  Living as part of them as she had for all these years, she couldn’t help it.  He laughed to himself as he thought of all the times that he had been jealous of Jimmy over her.  He should have known that there wasn’t anything between them.  But he couldn’t be made to believe that at the time.  Now he and Lou were married and Jimmy was getting very near to doing the same himself with a very beautiful lady named Sarah Brooks.  He’d long since gotten over his jealous feelings.  Now the riders were just like Lou’s big brothers!  He shook his head as he headed towards the marshal’s office.  He had promised Teaspoon that he would help him put up wanted poster that morning.

Buck had given Tompkin’s his list and had stepped over to a corner that held clothes.  He knew that if he were buying pants and a shirt for himself that he wouldn’t have a ounce of trouble. Maybe if he couldn’t get Lou to help him out, he could get Rachel.  He sighed.  The less people he had wondering about what he was doing, the better off he’d be.

The little bell tinkled over the door, and Buck looked up to see who had entered.  He wasn’t surprised to see Lou, a basket swinging on her arm.  She smiled his way as she headed towards Tompkins to give him the list of things she needed.

“Well howdy Miss Lou.  You doin’ alrite this mornin’?”  Tompkins smiled her way.

“Rite as rain Tompkins!  Here’s what I need.  Take your time.  I ain’t in that big a hurry!”

He smiled her way as he took the list and basket that she handed him.

Buck was still looking at the articles of clothing that were on the counter in front of him as Lou strolled over in his direction.  “You lookin’ for anythin’ in particular?  Or jist day dreamin’?”

She could tell as he fingered the shirt on the counter top, and gazed at the dress hanging to his right that he wasn’t thinking about buying clothes for himself.

Buck sort of blushed as he looked towards Lou.  He knew that she had read his thoughts.  He’d been wondering if the beautiful lady at the shack could wear the pretty blue dress that was hanging there.

Lou knew she’d hit on something, but by the look on his face, she decided not to pry.  “We was
all startin’ to worry bout you Buck Cross!  Where have you been?  You ain’t never two days late gettin’ back from a run unless Teaspoon sends you to one of the forts for somethin’ special!”
 
“I ran into some trouble.  Then had a few things to take care of.  You know....personal things.”

“Them personal things have somethin’ to do with a lady??”

Lou watched as he blushed again.  Ummm, this might prove interesting!  Buck cleared his throat.

“Actually I came across what was left of the stage.  Been attacked by Apache.  Weren’t no purdy sight!”

Lou frowned.  “No, I guess not!  I heard Teaspoon talkin’ bout the fact that it hadn’t come through at the supper table last nite.  That’s terrible.  It’s a hard thing buryin’ people like that.  Somethin’ I ain’t never got used to.  People gettin’ killed a fore their time..all cause of the hate that’s tween our people and yours!  It’s all so useless!”

Buck agreed with her whole-heartedly.  He wished that everyone felt that way.  Then perhaps things would be different.  But wishing that wasn’t helping to solve the problems.  He looked Lou’s way again.  “I got a few things I got to do.  I’ll be gone a few days.  I came to git a few supplies.  Be back in time for my next run.”

“Umm, goin’ to see that lady friend a yours again??”  She grinned at him and noticed he seemed uncomfortable with her questions.  “I don’t mean to pry Buck.  Things alrite?”

“Yeah....well sort a.”  He stopped fingering the shirt, and glanced once more at the dress hanging near them.  “I need a favor.”

“Shore.  Jist name it Buck.”

“Got to promise you won’t ask no more questions, and won’t mention this to anyone....not even theKid!”

For a moment she was quiet.  It must really be something serious if she couldn’t even mention it to her husband!  She nodded. “Okay.  What can I do for you?”

“I need to borrow one of your dresses.”

“One of my what??”  Her voice was rather loud as she looked his way startled.  Whatever if was she’d expected him to ask...this hadn’t been it.  She glanced around the store to see if anyone was listening.  Tompkins looked their way, but returned to what he was doing when Lou started whispering.  “What do you need a dress for?  Is there really a lady out there some where?”

“You promised no questions!!”  Buck looked at her irritated.

“Okay, okay!  Yeah, I’ll loan you a dress.”  She leaned closer and whispered even softer.  “But only if you promise me you won’t come ridin’ back in town wearin’ it yourself!!”

Buck grinned.  “I promise!  Jist know you’re helpin’ with a good cause!”

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t ask if’n it weren’t important!”

“No, I wouldn’t!  An I promise to git it back to you in one piece!”

Lou glanced towards Tompkins.  He appeared to have most of their orders finished.  “If’n you’ll bring my things to the house, I’ll go back and git it for you.  I’ll meet you there!”

“Okay.  See you in a while!”  Buck smiled his thanks to her as he watched her head back to where Tompkins was standing.

“I’m jist bout finished Miss Lou.”

“That’s okay, Buck’s gonna bring it to me.  I need to go and git somethin’ for him.”

Tompkins nodded her direction, and Lou headed out of the store.  On her walk back to the house that she and Kid lived in, she wondered what was going on.  Why else would Buck need a dress, unless there was a lady involved?  He obviously didn’t want anyone to know about her.  But why would he keep it a secret?  She shook her head as she headed inside the house.  He would tell them when he was ready.  Until then, she would keep silent as he had requested of her.  She would do anything for the riders.  They were her family.

Buck was soon riding up to Kid and Lou’s front door.  She met him on the steps of the porch.  He handed her the basket with the supplies and she handed him a wrapped package.

“I threw in a few other things that she might need.  You know if’n you need anything else all you have to do is come ask!”

He nodded.  “Thanks Lou, I ‘preciate it!”  With that he turned his horse and headed back out of town.

Lou stood and watched until she could see him no longer.  She hoped things were okay wherever it was he was headed.  There had to have been a lady on that stage, and he had to be taking care of her.  That was the only logical thing that she could come up with.  She didn’t understand why he wasn’t telling anyone about her, but she would respect his wishes.  She sighed and headed back inside.  It would soon be lunch and Kid would be home expecting something to eat.

She stirred on the mattress.  Her head hurt.  But not nearly as much as her shoulder.  She moaned
as she shifted positions on the bed.  She opened her eyes, but quickly closed them once again.  The light was so bright in the room.  Slowly she opened them, glancing around.  She didn’t recognize anything....she felt so strange.  Slowly her eyes fell shut once more.  She would worry about things later...much later.


Buck got back to the shack just before lunch.  Things looked exactly as he’d left them.  Slipping from the horses back, he lead him over to the back of the shack and put him in the corral.  Whoever had once lived there must have owned several horses.  The corral was the best-built thing there!  It was obvious that he hadn’t wanted his horses to wander off!!

He carried the supplies and the package Lou had given him inside.  His eyes immediately went to her on the bed.  She was lying on her side, the cover pulled around her, and she was sleeping peacefully.  He gave a sigh of relief.  She’d not come to while he’d been away.

Unloading his arms, he walked over to make sure that her fever was still gone.  Her head was cool to the touch.  After putting up the supplies, he needed to change the bandages on her head and shoulder.  He’d gotten some clean ones from Tompkins.  There should be enough poultice to put on the wounds one more day.  If he needed more, he could make it tomorrow.

Buck carefully unwrapped her head.  There was an ugly yellow and purple bruise around the gash.  But it was looking much better.  He was quite happy with the first wound.  He replaced the strips of cloth with clean ones and then turned his patient over so that he could look at her shoulder.

There weren’t any signs of infection, and he felt confident that it would heal with no problems.  It would just take a few days and would probably be sore for awhile.  He began re-wrapping the area, not noticing that she was beginning to stir.

Her shoulder was throbbing again.  She could feel someone rubbing it with something that held a very strong odor.  Slowly her eyes came open again, and she tried to focus.

She still had no idea where she was.  Nothing looked familiar to her.  Slowly she felt herself being lowered back down on the bed, and she was turned so that she could see the person who had been rubbing her shoulder.  A scream froze in her throat!  There was an Indian sitting beside her, his hands on her shoulders!  Her heart pounded wildly in her chest an all she could think about was getting away!

Buck was surprised to see the most unusual shade of gray eyes looking up at him as he lowered her body back down onto the bed.  He could see the panic going through her, as she realized that he was part Indian.  He knew that she was going to scream before she did it!

The sound bounced off the walls of the shack.  She screamed a second time as she tried to raise from the bed, and pull away from him at the same time.  The pain that ran through her shoulder nearly made her pass out.  But she knew that she had to get away from this savage.  There was no telling what he would do to her!

Buck reached out to try and get her to lie down once more, but she only scooted further away from him.  “No!  Don’t touch me!  I know what you are!  I know what Indians do to white captives!  Are you waiting until I’m well before you rape me??”

“I ain’t gonna hurt you!”

“Sure you say that now, just so I’ll do what you want me to!!”

He reached out a hand to her once more, and she slapped it away. “I said leave me alone!  I’ll scream again!”

Buck sighed.  This was going to be harder than he’d thought.  He couldn’t blame her for being afraid of him after what she’d probably been through at the hands of the Apache.  “I assure you, I ain’t gonna hurt you!  All I want to do is help you!  What’s your name??”

She didn’t answer him.  She’d slid over as far as she could from him.  Fear very apparent in her eyes, as she watched his every move.  She clutched the blanket up to her breasts, her hands trembling.

“I’m Buck Cross.  I ride for the pony express.  I found you, brought you here to take care of you.  When you feel up to it, I’ll take you to Rock Creek.”

She didn’t say a word.  Just sat watching him.  As if she expected him to pull the knife from his boot and slit her throat with it at any given moment!

“You hungry?  You ain’t had much to eat in the last two days.  I’ll fix you something’.”  Buck got up from the bed, and she tried to move further away from him.  He’d expected her to be afraid, but not like this!

She watched his every move from the bed.  When it appeared that he was going to do just as he’d said, she let her eyes begin to wander around the room.  There wasn’t much to speak of there.  A table with four chairs, the bed she was in, a stove and fireplace.  The windows didn’t have curtains over them, and she wondered if the Indian lived here?  The place didn’t look very clean.  Didn’t look lived in!

Just where was she?  Who was she?  He’d asked her what her name was...and she realized that she had no idea!  More panic seized her insides.  Not only was she being held captive, she had no idea what her name was, where she was, if she had family somewhere that missed her...nothing!

His movements at the stove drew her attention.  He didn’t appear to be watching her too closely.  Perhaps she could slip from the bed and make a run for it.  She started to sit up, and realized that her shoulder wouldn’t let her.  The pains that were shooting through her were nearly unbearable! 
She closed her eyes for a moment as the white-hot fingers of pain raced through her.  As they subsided, she noticed something else.....she wasn’t wearing any clothes!  Where was her dress....and under things?  Had the Indian taken them off?  If so, had he taken advantage of her?  She wouldn’t have known if he had!  He’d said something about being there for two days...he could have done anything with her in that length of time!

Buck heard her moan of pain, and turned her way.  He could tell that she wasn’t very comfortable from the look on her face.  Slowly, he made his way back over to her and as expected, she moved away, causing the pain to rip through her shoulder again. 

“Gonna have to stop movin’ round like that.  Your shoulder is healin’ up nicely, but it’s gonna be sore for a week or so!  Here, let me help you sit up.  Food should be ready in jist a minute!”

He reached out for her, and she drew back again.  “Don’t touch me you savage!”  Her words were angry, her fear showing through.

The words stung Buck deeply.  He should be used to being called a savage.  But it some how felt different coming from her mouth!  He gave her a frown, and seemed irritated as he spoke softly to her.  “I ain’t gonna hurt you none!  If’n I was a gonna do that....I wouldn’t a taken all the trouble to dig that bullet outa your shoulder, nor sat up with you two nites to make shore you didn’t die from fever!”  He stood for a moment looking down at her.  She swallowed quickly and wondered what kind of man he was.

Finally after what seemed a lifetime to him, she eased over his way.  He helped her to sit up in the bed, leaning her back against the wall, making sure that her shoulder didn’t touch.  He smiled slightly before he turned back to the stove.

She watched him...she didn’t know if she could trust him or not!  Had he really sat up two nights with her?  Someone had cared for her...and there was no one else there!

She didn’t know how she knew, and wasn’t sure she wanted to, but she was supposed to be afraid of Indians.  They were nothing but savages.  Would kill a white man in seconds and steal the women and children away to be raped and made slaves of!

Buck spooned some of the beans he’d been heating into a tin plate he’d found in the cupboard.  Then he added some bacon.  After she began to trust him, he would go out and hunt for some meat.  He didn’t want to leave her alone just yet.  She might try to leave and hurt herself worse.  The hunting could wait.  If he didn’t get to go today, there was enough bacon to last until tomorrow.

Handing her the plate, she hesitated.  Wasn’t he having any?  Was it safe?  Or was he trying to poison her?  The smell of the food reached her nose, and her stomach growled.  He smiled her way.  He could almost see her mouth water.

She reached for the plate, and the blanket slipped almost below her breasts before she could catch it.  “Where are my clothes any way?  Who gave you permission to undress me??  How dare you do that!!”

She scowled at him as she nearly jerked the plate from his hands, holding the blanket up to her chin.  How was she going to eat and hold the blanket?

Buck frowned again.  “No one gave me permission!  I could a left them torn, filthy clothes on your body an let your head and shoulder git infected!  There weren’t no one else here, so I had to take them off!  Besides your dress was so torn, it didn’t cover your front any ways!”  He turned angry back to the stove.  Picking up another plate, he spooned food into it for himself.  He was hungry too!

As he sat down to eat, she watched him.  She realized that she wasn’t getting anywhere this way.  He was eating and she wasn’t!  Besides, he’d already seen her body!  She sat the plate down for a moment to tuck the blanket more securely around herself.  Then she started eating.  She didn’t know she was so hungry.  She cleaned her plate and looked towards Buck.  He had finished eating and was looking off into space.

He was wondering what he could do to make her trust him, when her voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Could I please have some more?”

He glanced her way, and she was holding the plate towards him.  He smiled.  “Shore can.”  When he handed the food back to her, he smiled again.  “I really ain’t gonna hurt you none!”

She looked up into his face for several moments.  Then she nodded slightly as she took the plate. “Thank you.”


The afternoon passed slowly.  She napped for several hours after eating.  She didn’t seem to have a lot of strength.  Getting away from here wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d figured.  She had no idea where she would go if she had the strength!

Buck had waited until she was sleeping peacefully before he left to hunt.  His mind was so wrapped around her, that he missed two rabbits before he came upon a third!

She was so afraid of him.  How would he convince her other wise?  He had nearly three days before he had to be back at the station for another run.  Perhaps that would be enough time.

She woke and found herself alone.  She wondered at the trust this Indian had in her.  He must have realized that she was in no shape to go anywhere.  She tried to remember her name..... anything....but her mind was a complete blank!  If she was lucky enough to escape, where and who would she turn to?  Her head throbbed suddenly and she reached up to touch the bandage.  There was a lump the size of a goose egg on the back of her head.  And her shoulder, hadn’t he said something about a bullet?  She’d been shot?  It was no use...she couldn’t remember!!

The door opened and her captor entered carrying a rabbit.  She watched him move to the table with it.  He turned smiling her way, and that was when it hit her.  For the first time, she noticed, really noticed how good-looking he was!  He couldn’t be much older than she was...early twenties.  She also noticed he wasn’t dressed as an Indian.  He was wearing white man’s clothing.  A shirt, vest, buckskin pants, a gun strapped to his left hip, not a bow and arrow.  He wore boots, not moccasins.  And his name...he had a white man’s name!!  Maybe she’d been wrong about him!

No...he was at least part Indian.  He had the same high cheekbones and the same prominent nose.  He wore his dark hair long and straight.  But she couldn’t be attracted to him...he was her enemy!

He’d seen the look go across her face.  She was beginning to wonder if he could be trusted.  Perhaps this would work out yet.  “Sleep good?”

He was smiling her way, and that smile could easily be the death of her!  She quickly turned off the new feelings and looked the other way, ignoring his question.

Buck sighed.  “Okay, have it your way.  But I’m here when you’re ready to talk!  I’d like to help you!  If’n you jist let me!”  He turned back to the rabbit and started to prepare it for their evening meal.

She’d heard the hurt in his voice.  She sneaked a look in his direction.  Was it possible that her ignoring him upset him?  Surely not!  He was holding her captive wasn’t he?  Or was he?  She wasn’t tied up, he had made no threatening moves towards her. Though there was no way that she could make an escape without clothes!  She closed her eyes.  It was too much for her to think about right now! 



Hundreds of miles away, Ben Cartwright rode towards his favorite place on his ranch.  He drew his horse to a stop on top of a hill that over looked a beautiful valley.  Memories came rushing back, as he thought of all the times that he and his sister, Lilah, had spent there.  This had been the spot that she had planned to one day build her home, raise her children.  But things had not gone as she had planned.  She’d met Henry Crawford an had fallen in love. She’d moved to Boston with him, leaving behind the place that she loved.

The years had come and gone.  Lilah was happy in Boston.  He could tell every time that she had visited the Ponderosa.  Even though she dreamed of building her home there, they both knew that she never would.  She was dedicated to Henry and their Melissa.  Happiness, that was all he’d wished for her. But now Lilah was gone.  She’d passed on, leaving him behind, much as his three wives had done.  The only family that he had left now was his three sons and Melissa.

Ben looked out over the valley.  His heart constricted in pain.  How could the good Lord create something as beautiful as this valley and then have the unfeeling power to jerk the people you loved from your life?  He’d loved all three of his wives very much.  There had been Elizabeth who had died in childbirth, giving him his first born son, Adam.  Then later, he had met and married Inger.  She had given him his second son, Hoss.  Indians had killed her.  Lastly there was    Marie.  She had given him his third son, Joseph.  She’d raised his other sons as her own until a horse she had been riding had stepped into a chuckhole and she had died instantly.  For some reason, he wasn’t supposed to have female companionship in his life!  At least not for long periods of time.  And now, just as he was about to have the chance for another female to live at the Ponderosa, the Lord had dealt him another blow!

Melissa had written telling him that she wanted to come visit.  Since her parents were both dead, she had no real reason to stay in Boston.  He’d been so thrilled that she was coming.  He had so many plans.  A welcome party that was to have been held that very night.  A party that she might meet all the young people of Virginia City.  Make friends, perhaps even meet that special someone.  He was planning to bring her here to this very spot, and tell her she could one day build her dream house here.  A place to live out her life and raise a family...but there was a chance that she wasn’t coming here or anywhere else!

The stage that she had been traveling on, had not reached Virginia City.  Word was, something had happened along the way.  They expected that Indians had attacked it, but no one was sure.  There was no sign of her.

As he looked out over the valley, he sighed.  He’d been blessed with three fine sons, but no daughters.  Even with them, it was lonely.  Something was missing from their home, their family.  Suddenly a hawk screeched over head, and it drew Ben’s attention.  As he watched it circling high above his head, a feeling of peace settled over him.  Along with that peace, there was the feeling that Melissa was all right.  He wasn’t sure where she was....but the spirits were telling him that he would find her.

He watched the red tailed hawk for a few more seconds, then turned the horse back towards the ranch house.  He heard horses, and looked up to see two of his sons headed his way.

Hoss and Little Joe were the two closest to him.  They were following in his footsteps.  Making cattle ranching their way of life.  It took all three of them and then some to run the 250,000 acres of the Ponderosa.  Their oldest brother, Adam, had left the ranch nearly a year ago.  He owned a shipping business that was doing quiet well.  He visited home once or twice a year.    Ben knew
that he was happy in what he was doing.  That was enough for him.

“Any more news?”  He looked anxiously towards them.

“No Pa.  We just came from Sheriff Coffey’s office.  He says there’s no hope that she’s still alive!”  Hoss watched the sadness once more replace the look of hope in his father’s eyes.

“I think we should start looking for her ourselves!  Pa you know enough of the Indians here bout that could pass the word along about her.  There has to be something that can be done!”  Little Joe knew that this was killing his father.  He was ready to start searching for her right then, himself.  If only his Pa would let him.  He and Melissa hadn’t been that close in their growing up years like she and Hoss had been.  But he had to do something.

“We’ll give it a few more days.  I know she’d out there somewhere.  She’s still alive!  I need to think this through, decide what is the best thing to do.”

“But Pa, she could be hurt out there!!”  Joe’s voice held a note of pleading.

“I know.  But we have to have a plan before we all go rushing off half cocked!  It won’t accomplish a thing if we don’t!  I’ve always taught you both to think with you heads before you act!”

“Sure Pa.  But this is Melissa we’re a talkin’ bout!”  Hoss looked his way, worry etched on his face.

“I know how close the two of you have always been.  We just have to have faith that she’ okay.  We’ll soon be out searching for her...don’t fret none!”

The three of them started back for the house.  Each with their own thoughts.  How would be the best way to start searching for their kin.



She had to admit the rabbit that he cooked was delicious.  She cleaned her plate and held it out for a second helping.  Smiling he obliged her.  If she kept eating like this, her strength would return in no time.

As darkness began to fall, Buck sat on the steps of the shack, his back to her in the open door way, and said his evening prayers.  She watched from the bed, suddenly wishing that she could get up.  It was too stuffy in the shack.  She wanted to see the stars and feel the night around her.

Slowly, she moved to the side of the bed.  It took her some time to stand, but she accomplished the deed, wrapping the blanket around herself.

Buck was so into his prayers that he didn’t hear her, until she was nearly to him.  Quickly he jumped to his feet startled, turning to face her.  Not knowing what to expect.  As nervous as she was around him, she could easily try to hit him over the head with something.

For several seconds they stood looking at one another, neither moving.  Her strength was beginning to give out, and he reached for her as she started to sway.  Gathering her in his arms, he sat back down on the top step, with her in his lap.

She didn’t feel at all comfortable sitting there.  It was some how intimate.  But she wouldn’t sit there stiffly.  Her shoulder wouldn’t let her.  Slowly she relaxed against him.

Buck didn’t question her.  He just made himself be content with sitting there holding her on his lap.  What had made her get up and come to him?

She was silent, looking out at the night sky.  There was a loneliness inside.  She felt so empty.  Not knowing who she was, or how she had gotten to this shack.  How long would she have to stay there?  Was this man, whose lap she was sitting in her enemy or her friend??  Silently the tears began to fall.

Buck didn’t realize that she was crying until the tears began to wet his shirt.  With his fingertips, he lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes.

“What is it Grey Eyes??  What troubles you so?  If’n it’s me...I promise you can leave this shack the second you feel up to it.  I ain’t plannin’ to hurt you none.  I jist wanted to help you.  I weren’t gonna leave you out there fer dead!!”

She looked at him for a moment longer, then buried her face once more in his chest, her sobs becoming louder.  Buck held her in his arms, giving her what comfort he could.  He didn’t understand her upset.

Nearly half an hour later, as her tears began to subside, Buck whispered to her in the stillness of the night.  “Grey Eyes...”

She lifted her head from his chest and once more looked into his brown eyes.  She saw nothing there but tenderness.  What was it he had called her....Grey Eyes?  That couldn’t be her name...could it?  It didn’t feel right.

“Why do you call me that?”  Her eyes didn’t waver from his.

He’d been thinking about it all day.  She had the most unusual eyes he’d ever seen.  If she had an Indian name, Grey Eyes would have been it. 

“You have the most unusual color of eyes I’ve ever seen!  Since I ain’t got no idea what your name is, it seemed to fit!”  He raised a hand to brush a strand of hair from her face.

She pulled away from him, and his hand stilled in mid air.  Then she realized that there was no use acting this way.  She had been sitting in his lap for well over an hour, and he hadn’t harmed her.  Fact of the matter was, he wasn’t going to.  She felt it inside.  She suddenly knew that she could trust him.  And she felt content there.  Leaning a little closer, he brushed the hair behind her ear and smiled in the moonlight.

“If’n you tell me your name, I won’t have to make up names for you.  You know my name.  Why not share yours with me?”

For a few seconds, she sat very still, trying to search her mind for her identity.  But it just wasn’t there.  Slowly, another tear began to slip down her cheek.  Her words were a mere whisper....”I don’t know who I am!  I can’t remember my name!”

The words tore at his heart.  Slowly he pulled her back against his chest and rocked her back and forth, as if she were a child.  Her tears were falling again, and he felt so helpless.  He’d dug the bullet from her shoulder and bandaged her head, but he could do nothing for her memory!  Hopefully it would return in time.  The knock she had received form the fall was bound to be the cause.

“Shhh Grey Eyes, it will be alrite!  You can stay with the riders and me til you git your memory back.  There’ll be plenty of room at the station!  I spect Rachel and Lou will love ‘nother lady friend to talk to!!”

“But Buck...”

It was the first time she’d spoken his name and it was like music to his ears.

“What if I don’t get my memory back?”  She sat up once more and looked into his face.  “I don’t know if I’m married, or have children, or even a family out there!”  She motioned into the darkness.

“Shh, it will come back.  That goose egg on the back of your head is more ‘n likely the reason.”

“Buck tell me what happened.  Where’d you find me?  You said you took a bullet out of my shoulder.  How did I get shot?”

I ain’t shore ‘bout all a it.  You shore you want to know what I can tell you?”

“It might help me remember.  Please tell me.”

“I was a ridin’ back from one a my runs.  I topped a hill and looked down into the valley and there was the stage.  There was bodies layin’ in all directions, like they’d tried to run.  By the arrows, I could tell that the stage had been attacked by Apache.  Possibly a war party.

I rode slowly down into the valley and checked everyone to make shore none of them was still alive.  The horses were gone.  Horses to Apache are like gold to the white man!  They never leave a horse if it’s fit for use.  I checked inside the stage, and when I closed the door, that was when I saw you.

You were lying all funny like.  I figured you’d fallen off the stage and broke your neck.  The way I see it, you was lucky nough to be able to try and escape on the stage.  Probably one of the Indians caught up with you and as you struggled to git away from him, you fell off the top of the stage and hit your head on a rock.”

“Why didn’t the Indians take me with them??  Aren’t Indians supposed to make slaves of whites after they’ve raped them?”

For a moment, Buck just sat there looking at her.  He couldn’t blame her for what she had been taught.  Most white folk did think that of the Indians.  Her eyes were hardened as she looked his way.  She might not know who she was or where she came from, but she remembered she was supposed to hate the red man!

“No Grey Eyes...not all Indians do that!  Only some tribes!”

She noticed that he seemed hurt by her words.  If it wasn’t the truth, then why did she think that way?  Had she been brought up being told that all Indians were bad?

He continued after having watched her eyes, knowing that she was wondering about his words.  “I spect they left you there cause they thought you was dead.  I thought you was to begin with.  As I was turnin’ away to start buryin’ the bodies, I thought I saw movement.  I got down and listened to see if you was still breathin’!  I couldn’t believe it when I saw that you was!”

“Then why didn’t they look closer?”

“I ain’t rite shore.  It was jist lucky that I came long when I did.  Other wise, you mite a died out there!”

“How do you think I got shot?  When I fell from the stage?”

“Then, or when you tried to escape.  One of the Indians probably saw you startin’ to run off and fired a shot at you.  You must be one strong woman to try and escape.  Most wouldn’t be brave enough to attempt it!”

She didn’t say anything for awhile.  She was lost in thought. Nothing he said brought back any memories.  Suddenly she looked up into his face again.

“Was there anything in the stage that might be able to tell me who I am?  My clothes or anything that I might have been carrying?”

“There weren’t nothin’ left.  The Apache took everythin’.”

“What would they do with my clothes?  Why would they want a white woman’s things?”  She looked shocked by this information.

“They trade that sort of thing at the white man’s tradin’ posts in different areas fer things that they mite need.  I’m sorry Grey Eyes.  That’s why I didn’t have anythin fer you to wear after I took your torn dress off.  I spect the Indian brave you was a tryin’ to git away from when you fell from the stage is the reason your dress was torn.”

She fell silent again.  So much was going around in her head.  She couldn’t make heads nor tails of it all.  Why wasn’t any of this information bringing back some sort of memories?  She sighed.

“I’m sorry Buck for the way I behaved when I came to.  In my head, there is this fear of Indians.  Why I’m not sure.  Maybe from what I’ve just been through.  But when I saw you, all I could see was Indian.  I am so glad that it was you that rescued me!  Why did I survive, and none of the others did?  I wonder if any of them were my kin?”

“We ain’t got no way a knowin’ rite now.  Maybe later on when your memory starts to return I’ll take you where it happened.”

She shivered slightly, and he pulled her a little closer.

“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.  Are you sure that I will be welcomed at this station you keep talking about?”

“Positive!  Come in, it’s gettin’ cool out here.  I didn’t fix you up jist sos you could catch your death a cold!”  He picked her up and carried her back inside the shack, placing her on the bed.  “Try and git some sleep.  It’s gettin’ late.  You still need to build up your strength.  We can talk more tomorrow.”  He helped her to lie back on the bed and spread the other blanket over her.  Smiling down at her, he reached out to lightly touch her face with a fingertip.  “Since you ain’t shore what your name is, hows bout we jist call you Grey Eyes?  It can be your Indian name...okay?”

She smiled.  “Okay.  If you tell me what your Indian name is.”

“Run-in’ Buck...”

He turned away from her and went to start a fire to knock the chill of the night off the shack.  Then he lay down on his bedroll in the floor only a few feet from her.

She turned over on her side and tried to sleep.  But it was no use.  She couldn’t get the things out of her mind.  Why couldn’t she remember?  She sighed softly.

Buck heard and turned her direction.  “You okay Grey Eyes?”

“Yes.  I just wish I could remember.”

“Give it time.  You will.  Nite.”

“Good night Runnin’ Buck!”

He smiled in the darkness.  He couldn’t believe the turn of events in the last few hours.  Never would he have expected her to come to trust him so soon.  He worried that she didn’t know who she was, but as soon as they got back to Rock Creek, he would have the doctor look her over.

She focused her attention on the man lying several feet from her when she grew tired of trying to remember things about herself.  Tomorrow she would have to learn all there was to know about Buck Cross.  Had he grown up with the Indians, was that why he had an Indian name?  He must live in the white man’s world now since he was working with the pony express.  She closed her eyes again and tried to sleep.  Maybe tomorrow would be a brighter day.


Teaspoon arrived at the station in time for supper, still wondering about Buck and what he was up to.  Everyone was there but Cody who was out on a run, and of course Buck.

“Teaspoon, did you see Buck this morning?  He mention going some wheres?”  Kid looked his way.

“Yeah, he did.  Somethin bout havin some thins to take care of.  He’ll be back in time for his next run.”

“Strange he didn’t tell you what them things were!”  Rachel passed the pot of stew around the table.  “You don’t reckon he’s in any trouble do you?”  She seemed worried.  Rachel sort of felt like these boys and Lou were her own children at times.  Though she wasn’t old enough really to be their mother!

“Nope...he ain’t in no trouble.....he’s got him a woman hid out there some wheres!!”  Jimmy grinned.

Lou shot him a look.  Did Jimmy know something about this that she didn’t?  Buck better not have told him something and not mentioned it to her!  After all, she was the one who loaned him the dress!

“Now you ain’t got no reason to think them there thoughts Jimmy!”  Teaspoon glanced his way.  “It could be any number of things that he’s a doin’!”

“Yeah, he could a went to see Red Bear!  He ain’t seed his brother in a while!!”  Noah threw in.

“Yeah, but don’t he usually tell you he’s goin there so you know where to find him if’n you need him Teaspoon?”  Lou questioned.

“Yeah, usually he does. I didn’t ask him to many questions.  He didn’t seem like he was of a mind to tell me a thing!  Sorta like Hickok when he ain’t wantin us to know his business!!”  He threw a glance in Jimmy’s direction, who seemed startled by Teaspoon’s words.  “Buck has a good head on his shoulders.  He’ll come fer help if’n he needs any!”  Teaspoon reached for a biscuit.

“I still say he has a woman out there some wheres!!”  Jimmy grinned.  “Kept tellin me how I needed one!  Weren’t bout to let me lone til I asked Sarah to marry me!!”

“Where is Miss Sarah any how?”  Teaspoon knew someone else was missing from their table.

“She had to meet with some of the town ladies tonite.  Somethin bout a bridal shower for her.  She said to tell you and Lou, Rachel, that she would let you know when it was!”  Jimmy motioned with the biscuit in his hand.

The conversation seemed to turn to Sarah and Jimmy and Lou decided that he really didn’t know anything about where Buck was or what he was up to.  Since Jimmy had finally decided to settled down with Sarah, he seemed to think that everyone needed a woman by their side!  Though she knew it had taken him forever to come to that decision!


The following morning, Buck was standing in the doorway watching the sunrise, offering his morning prayers, when he heard her stirring.  He hurried over to her and helped her to sit up.

“Mornin!”

“Hi!”  She moved slowly, pulling the blanket with her.

“Let me have a look see at your shoulder.  It’s been four days since I took out the bullet.  Mite be you can go without the bandage for awhile.”

He carefully unwrapped it, and was pleased at the way it looked.  Even the bump on the back of her head and the gash seemed much better.  Getting up from the bed, he went over to the table and picked up a package.  Bringing it back, he handed it to her.

“Thought you mite want to go to the river in the back and wash off some of that dust and dirt I didn’t git that first day.  I borrowed these things from Lou when I rode to Rock Creek for supplies.  She used to ride for the pony express, but she ain’t since she and Kid got married.  You two seems to be bout the same size...I hope!”

He smiled and she could tell that he wasn’t used to telling what size a lady was.  He seemed even a little embarrassed over it.

“She mentioned that she put a few other things that you mite need in there.”

She smiled as she reached for the package.  “Thank you for being so thoughtful.  I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to wear this blanket when we went to meet your friends!!”

He helped her up and walked with her towards the river.  “You want me to stay and help you with your shoulder being sore and all?”

She smiled.  “No, I’ll be fine.  I’ll just take my time.”

“Call me if you need anythin!”

She smiled and watched him walk back towards the shack.  Then she turned back towards the river pulling the string off the package.  She found a dress, some clean under things, a brush and comb, and a bar of wonderful smelling soap.

Turning to make sure that Buck had returned to the shack, she let the blanket fall to the ground.  Slowly she stepped into the water and let it sooth her tired, sore body.  It felt so good!  Picking up the bar of soap, she began to lather her arms.

Buck stood at the stove.  It was hard not to glance out the window of the shack.  He already knew what her body looked like.  He still remembered it vividly.  He turned and started picking up things here and there.  Anything to keep his mind off of her.  But it was no use.  His eyes went of their own will to the window.

He watched as she washed her body slowly.  Her shoulder hindering her from moving too quickly.  Then she lathered her long auburn hair and washed the soap from it, squeezing the excess water out.

Slowly she made her way to the edge, reaching for the blanket to dry off with.  Her body was as beautiful as he remembered.  Her breasts were high and firm, the auburn curls at the junction of her thighs wet and looking even redder from the water.  His heart pounded in his chest.

Never had a woman had this affect on him.  Even Kathleen had never made him feel this way!  There was a fire that started at his toes and ran through out his entire body.  He tried to brush the feelings away.  There was no way that she would be interested in him.  Soon, so soon, she would be pushing him away.

The dress was a perfect fit.  She smoothed it down over her hips and picked up the brush to start getting the tangles out of her hair.  She brushed it until it was nearly dry.  The breeze was stirring the hair around her face.  She noticed that fall was coming to the area.  The leaves were turning orange, red and gold around her.  She sighed as she wondered what the days ahead would bring.  Would she soon remember who she was and be home?  Or would she be here for a long time to come?  With fall came Thanksgiving, then Christmas.  For a moment, something went across her memory.  But it was gone too quickly for her to grasp.  Turning, she picked up the blanket and other things and headed back to the shack.  She wouldn’t worry about it now.

They spent the rest of the day talking.  She couldn’t tell him anything about her life, but he filled her in on the happenings of his up until that point.  Grey Eyes felt so much closer by the end of the day to this man that had saved her life.  He wasn’t anything like she’d thought he was in the beginning, and she had a feeling that if things were different, she could become very interested in him!

They were sitting on the steps of the shack.  This seemed to be “their” place.  She watched silently as Buck said his evening prayers.  She once again realized how good-looking this man truly was.  His long, silken hair fell below his shoulders and she suddenly had the urge to run her fingers through it!  And his deep brown eyes were so serious as he looked towards the west in reflection of the day.  What was with her?  She couldn’t remember a thing about her life up until now.  What if she had a husband waiting on her some where?  She couldn’t become interested in someone else until she knew for sure that she didn’t belong to another!  But she had a feeling that it was going to be a hard thing not to do!  She was beginning to feel things for this man that was sitting beside her.  Feelings that scared her!  Did he have someone?  That was the only thing that he hadn’t mentioned in their talks that day.  Did he belong to someone who was worried right now that he hadn’t come home?

Reaching out, she touched his arm.  Turning, he smiled slowly at her.  That smile made her stomach do flip-flops!  Before she forgot what she had been about to ask, she whispered, “Is there someone waiting on you back in Rock Creek, Buck?”

He wondered why she was asking as he sat looking at her.  Why did she have to be so beautiful??  Why did he have to have feelings growing inside each time he looked at her, when he knew deep down inside he could never have her!!  “No, there ain’t no body a waitin’ on me!  Not in Rock Creek, or no wheres!!”

“Then all those ladies in Rock Creek must be blind!”

“No, they alls see pruddy good!!”

She smiled, trying not to laugh.  “No, I mean, they all must be blind to the fact that you’re such a good-looking man!!  I don’t understand why you don’t have a dozen ladies fighting over you!”

Another smile worked it’s way across his face.  She thought he was good looking?  Had he heard that right?

“Have you ever been in love?  I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love!”

She watched as a look of pain went across his face and then he tried to cover it up.  She reached out and touched his arm once again.  “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories!”

“It’s alrite, you ain’t gots no way a knowin’ what’s a happened in my life if’n I don’t tell ya!  I thought I was in love!  But it turned out that weren’t the case!  She used me to git what she wanted from her father!  By the time I realized that was what was a goin’ on, it was too late!  She’d done stolen my heart and broke it in half without a care in the world!”

“I’m sorry Buck!  Aren’t there any other ladies in Rock Creek that turn you inside out?  Make your heart skip a beat when she comes near??”

He sat looking at her for a long moment before he answered her.  Oh yes, there was such a lady...and she was sitting beside him!  She made his heart skip three beats sitting so near to him.  He wanted to reach out and touch her.  But he couldn’t tell her that!  She might belong to someone else!  He was only fooling himself if he thought that there could be something between them.  “No, there ain’t!  There won’t never be someone waitin’ on me there!  Or anywhere else for that matter!  I ain’t so shore there’s anyone out there fer me!”

“Of course there is!  Everyone had someone out there waiting on them!  Maybe you just haven’t met her yet!  And she’ll think you are the handsomest thing she’d ever laid eyes on, just like I do!”

Her face quickly turned red.  Why had she said that?  She looked down at her hands in her lap. She was making a fool of herself!  She’d told him twice now that she thought he was handsome!

Buck watched her blush, and realized that she was wishing that she hadn’t just spoken those words for a second time.  Reaching out, he turned her face back towards his, lifting her chin with a fingertip.  She was biting her bottom lip.  “You think I’m handsome??”  The words had been whispered. “No one has ever told me that!”  Their eyes locked, and her heartbeat quickened.  Could he see it pounding in her chest?

He wanted to kiss her.  But he knew that he shouldn’t!!  Would she let him if he tried??  Leaning closer, she didn’t seem to be resisting!  What would it hurt...just once??

She held her breath.  He was going to kiss her, and she couldn’t wait to feel his lips on hers!!  What would it feel like?  Had she ever been kissed??  Then it was happening, and she felt as if a million explosions were going off inside!  Did he feel it too?  She didn’t want the kiss to end.  Could they sit there like this all night?

Buck’s heart slammed against his chest.  He hadn’t expected the jolt that was going through his body at the feel of her lips on his.  What was happening to him??  He hadn’t felt this way when he’d kissed Kathleen and he’d thought he was in love with her!

Pulling away, his fingertips still under her chin, he looked down into her eyes.  God, but she was beautiful!!  Her eyes held a dreamy expression, and he couldn’t resist as he leaned closer once again, capturing her mouth with his.

Her hand slipped up to caress his cheek.  She wanted to touch him.  There was a heat beginning in the center of her being and it was quickly traveling to all parts of her body.  She didn’t think she had ever felt this before.

As he pulled slowly away a second time, she whispered, “I’d wait for you in Rock Creek!”

He smiled.  “And I’d want you too!”  Slipping an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her up close to his side.  Her head against his chest.  They sat in silence until way after darkness had fallen around them.  Each lost in the thoughts of the other.  What did the future hold??


Hoss rode with his brother, Little Joe towards Virginia City.  They hadn’t heard a word about Melissa’s whereabouts.  It had been nearly a week.  Was she still alive?  Their Pa had refused to think that she wasn’t!!  Some where out there, Melissa was waiting for them to find her!

“I shore do hope Lissa is okay!  But I ain’t so shore!  Looks like she’d a made some attempt to find us if’n she was!”  Hoss looked out over the valley as they rode towards town.  Where could she be?

“If’n the stage didn’t make it that could only mean one thing...it was attacked by outlaws or Indians!  Either of ‘em coulda took Melissa with them.  Indians woulda made a slave outa her, and outlaws woulda used her, then probably gotten rid of her!”

“Don’t say things like that!!  It ain’t rite fer someone as young as Lissa to face all them things!!”

“No it ain’t rite, but that’s the way the good Lord makes things happen!!”

“Well I jist don’t understand why if’n he’s so great, he kin make things like that happen!!”

“Pa always said things happen fer a reason.  Guess there is one in this some wheres!  We jist have to keep the faith that we find her!!”

“Since Pa is leaving this afternoon to meet with Black Bear, maybe he kin git some help from his Indian friends.  We’s always done anythin’ we can fer ‘em.  Don’t see why they wouldn’t try an help!!”

“If’n we finds out somethin’ happened to her, Pa ain’t a gonna take it very well!!”

“I ain’t neither!”

They rode on towards town.  Hoss with his mind on Melissa and all the good times they’d had while they were growing up.  Little Joe thinking about all the times that he’d wished Melissa wasn’t around!  He’s been jealous of her because he’d been the baby of the family before she’d come along!  Now he was sorry that he’d had those thoughts.  He didn’t want anything to really happen to her!  If and when she got to the ranch, he was going to apologize for all the nasty things he’d thought and said!!


Teaspoon was sitting on the porch looking out into the darkness.  The evenings were getting cooler.  Thanksgiving would soon be upon them.  Then Christmas.  The year was quickly flying by.  He heard a noise and looked up to see Jimmy and Miss Sarah walking towards the house.  He smiled slightly to himself.  He’d never thought Jimmy would find someone and settled down.  Then Miss Sarah had come along and he had changed right before everyone’s eyes!  She was a beautiful lady.  Blonde, green eyes, so full of life.  He knew that she would be perfect for Jimmy.  Everyone had teased him about the new schoolteacher when she’d arrived, but no one had known that they would get together!

“Evenin’ Miss Sarah.  I see Jimmy came out your way after supper.  Shoulda brung you over to eat!”

“I’ll be here tomorrow night Teaspoon.  I had some papers to grade.  I wanted to get that finished before I left the house.”

“You gittin’ long fine with them there students a yours?”

“Perfectly!  They’re starting to make plans for a Christmas play.  I understand no one has ever been able to get them interested in something like that!  And it was their own idea!!”

“Well I’s can understand why!  If’n I had a teacher as beautiful as you are, I’d do anything to git her attention!”

Sarah laughed.  “I’m not beautiful!”

“Oh I totally disagree!!”  Jimmy pulled her a little closer.  “You are the most beautiful lady I’ve ever set eyes on!”

Sarah smiled and leaned near to kiss his lips.  “You’re sweet to say so!”

“Well, you know he’s only tellin’ the truth!  You are a beautiful lady!  I ain’t even gots to git out my spectacles to know that!!  Jimmy here’s one of the luckiest men in town!  If’n I were a little younger, I’d give Hickok a run fer his money!”

Sarah blushed, leaning near to kiss Teaspoon’s cheek.  Now it was his turn to blush.  “Thank you Teaspoon!  You two make me feel like I’m the luckiest in town!!  I love you both!!”

Teaspoon beamed towards them.  He remembered what it was like to be in love.  “You two set a date yet fer that weddin’?”

“Fact is, we was a comin’ to ask you if you’d think the day after Thanksgiving would be okay?  We won’t be runnin’ no mail that day, ever one would be here!”

“Well I think that would be jist fine!  Go tell Rachel sos she can start a plannin’ the party afterwards!!”

“You think that will be too much for her, what with Thanksgiving the day before?  I know she’ll be cooking a big meal for that!”

“I’m shore she’ll be excited bout it!  She won’t have no problems!  Lou can help out, not to mention the rest a the boys!  If’n that is the day you want to git married, we’ll work it out!!”

“Great!  Thanks Teaspoon!!”  Sarah leaned down and kissed his cheek once more.  He pushed the hat back on his head and smiled broadly.

“Wonder if’n I kin come up with somethin’ else to git a kiss fer??”

Sarah laughed as she gave Jimmy a squeeze and went inside to talk to Rachel.  Teaspoon was such a wonderful man!!



Buck had started a fire, and Grey Eyes had settled down for the night.  He sat for a long time just watching her sleep.  He couldn’t get their kisses out of his mind.  He knew that he shouldn’t have let them happen, but he hadn’t been able to control himself.

She turned over on the bed, and the blanket slipped down almost to her waist.  Getting up, he moved over to her side.  Tucking the blanket back in around her, he smiled.  When she left him, he knew that he would never forget her.  The spirits had never cooperated with him.  They had never listened when he had asked for something.  Was it worth asking now?  Would they grant his wishes?  If he asked the spirit guides to help him, would Grey Eyes one day belong to him??

He sighed.  He knew he was only fooling himself.  Her family would soon come to claim her and he would never see her again.  It was best that he forget about her kisses, and start thinking about other things.  He was destined to live his life alone.  Maybe one day when he asked the spirit guides for something other than love, they would grant his wish.  Or maybe the right lady just hadn’t come along yet.  He sighed as he returned to his bedroll in front of the fire.


Some time during the early hours of the morning, Buck was awakened by a piercing scream.  Melissa had been dreaming.  She was on a stagecoach, and Indians were attacking it.  She  knew that her death was near.  She was captured, then by some miracle, she got away, running towards the stage, her only means of escape!  She was trying to steer the horses, an Indian was quickly climbing up towards her.  She heard a gunfire, and her body jerked as the bullet entered her shoulder.  Then she was falling, falling it seemed forever.  She screamed, coming fully awake, sweat pouring from her body.  She looked around wildly, not remembering where she was.

Buck quickly made a grab for his pistol.  Crouching low, he surveyed the shack.  There didn’t seem to be anything amiss.  Moving quickly over to the bed, he found Grey Eyes, a frightened look on her face, crying.  Her entire body was shaking.  Satisfied that there was no one in the shack but the two of them, and that she must have been dreaming, he sat down on the bed and pulled her into his arms.  “Shhh, Grey Eyes, it’s alrite!  I’m here!  Ain’t nothin’ gonna hurt you while I am!”  He rocked her back and forth, holding her tightly against him.

She didn’t seem to be calming down any.  Her body still shook.  Was it possible that she had remembered something that had happened to her?  “Grey Eyes...listen to me.  You’re safe.”  It didn’t seem to have any affect on her.  He started to shake her, but didn’t know if that would get through to her or not.  She was clinging tighter to him.  She was nearly hysterical!  He had to get through to her, but how?

Taking her face in his hands, he made her look at him.  “Grey Eyes...snap out of it!”  Why wasn’t she able to recognize him?  “You’re safe!”  Her tears were streaming down her face.  To his relief, recognition went across her face.  She sobbed again and buried her face in the side of his neck, her lips and face touching the silken hair that she had longer to run her fingers through that day.

She was so scared.  She didn’t understand what she’d dreamed, but she was positive that it had something to do with her being in this situation!  Her only salvation was Buck and she was so glad that he held her so close.  Moving her face out of his hair, she realized just how close her own lips were to his.  In only seconds, they were kissing one another.  A million tiny sparks seemed to fly through her body, and she suddenly didn’t care about anything but the man whose arms she was in!

Buck was a little startled by her boldness, but as her soft lips made contact with his, he forgot where he was and how he knew that he was supposed to act.  She was the one that was setting the pace between them.  Her kisses were urgent, and she moved closer to him, her body pressing along his own.

Taking her with him, Buck lay back on the bed.  He had completely forgotten that he should get a hold on his senses and not let this happen between them.  What if she were married?  She could belong to another!  But he knew deep down inside that there would be no turning back here.  This was supposed to happen between them.

Her mouth was every where it seemed.  She kissed his lips, his eyes, his nose, his neck, making him feel things throughout his body that he thought had died long ago!  He had felt so cold and empty after Kathleen.  This woman in his arms was bringing him back to life!

Buck flipped her over to her back and rose above her.  His lips were on hers, and his body slowly pressed hers into the mattress.  She wasn’t sure exactly what was happening here, but she knew that she didn’t want this to end.  Her insides were still shaking, and she knew only that Buck was the one that could calm all her fears.

He started kissing his way down her body.  She’d removed the dress before she’d gone to bed, and the only clothing that she wore were the thin undergarments that Lou had loaned her.  The wool blanket was between them.  Reaching down, Buck pulled it from them and tossed it to the floor.  His hand slipped to her left breast and softly caressed it through the thin material.  She groaned, and her hips rose up to press against his intimately.

He fleetingly thought he must be mad, as he felt her hands unbuttoning his shirt.  When her hands touched his chest, he sucked in his breath.  Her hands were caressing him with butterfly light strokes.  She ran her tongue across his cheek, down the side of his neck and across his collarbone to his nipples.  Her teeth and tongue teased them to life, and he nearly groaned as she once again lifted her body in offering to him.

Moving aside the flimsy material, he leaned closer to caress her nipples with his tongue.  At the first touch, she thought that she would go through the roof.  The sensations rushing through her body were nearly more than she could handle.

Had she done this before?  Her body seemed to be taking over.  Emotions were running wild.  She didn’t think, she just acted.  She continued to undo his shirt, then her hands slipped to his waist.  There was an urgency between them.  She had to feel his skin pressing against her own.
 
Buck maneuvered her around on the bed, until he’d taken the remaining clothes from her body. 

His hands slowly traveling over her skin.  It was so beautiful and felt so wonderful to the touch. 

She’d completely unbuttoned his shirt and had slipped it from his shoulders.  He rose from the bed, and she whimpered as he left her.  “Shh Grey Eyes.”  His voice was nearly a whisper, as he quickly disrobed.  She reached up for him, and he rejoined her on the mattress.  Their bodies coming together, sighs escaping them both. 

They caressed one another, the heat so hot between them, that it could have burned a person.  Buck forgot about the fact that she may belong to another.  This was so right.  The time for them.  He would deal with the consequences later....much later.

She opened herself to him, and Buck took the invitation to enter her.  But his first stroke met with resistance.  So did the second.  She felt the searing  pain and drew her legs quickly up, giving him better access to her body.  As he broke through her barrier, and her painful cries met his ears, he realized that she’d been untouched.  He’d been the first man that had ever caressed her in this way.  She didn’t belong to another!

He realized too, that he’d been rough, as her tears wet his hand.  He leaned down and kissed them off  her face.  “I’m sorry Grey Eyes. The pain will be gone soon.  Lie still.”

She did as he requested.  As the pain subsided, she became aware of his body being a part of her own.  Slowly, she moved, sending a ripple of sensations through them both.  The entire time Buck had been kissing her face and neck.  Now his mouth covered hers, and he began to move with her.  The urgency was still there, and their bodies picked up the age-old rhythm.  Pain was forgotten, the fact that she had no idea who she was, was forgotten.  Nothing mattered except each other.           
Together they reached for the stars.  She could feel the heat that had started in the center of her being traveling to all parts of her body.  There was something inside that was screaming for release.  She was climbing higher and higher.  Suddenly there were a million sparks flying from her body.  She knew she was going to burn completely up.

Buck was feeling much the same.  He could tell that she had reached her point of no return.  He followed quickly behind her.  His cries of passion mingling with hers. 

Her breathing began to slow, and she held him tighter.  She was afraid to open her eyes.  Afraid of what she might see!  Was she still in the cabin?  She knew that Buck was there with her, and she knew that what they had just shared was beautiful, but the dream was still so real!

For a moment, Buck was still.  He could feel her arms tighten around him, and he knew that she was thinking once again of the dream that had awaken her.  He slowly with drew from her, and rolled to her side, taking her with him.  If she hadn’t had the dream....this wouldn’t have happened between them.  At least not this soon.  Maybe in the future.  He realized that he shouldn’t have let it happen now.  But it was over, and there was no taking the act back!

He felt the tears hit his chest, and her body shook with her sobs.  Holding her tighter, he spoke softly to her in Kiawa.  The beautiful words seemed to calm her, and she fell asleep curled around him.  Sometime later, Buck reached for the blanket that he’d tossed to the floor, and covered them with it.  The fire had burned low.

She woke a few hours later.  Buck was still by her side, his arms around her.  Moving slowly, she rose from the bed, wrapping the blanket around her.  The fire was nothing but embers, and she threw a few pieces of kindling on it, along with a log.

Looking back towards the bed, she thought about the things that happened during this night.  She shuddered at the memory of the dream that she’d had.  She knew that it was what had happened to her.  But that was as far as memory went.  She still didn’t know who she was, or where she’d been traveling to on the stage.  She sighed.  At least it was a start.

Her eyes fell to Buck, still asleep on the bed.  A blush covered her cheeks, as she remembered the intimate things that had happened between them.  What in the world had she been thinking?  Or had she been thinking at all?? She knew that she shouldn’t have let those things happen.  She knew she should be ashamed, but deep inside, she knew that it had been supposed to happen just as it had!  She’d wanted to feel his arms around her.  Had wanted to feel him a part of her.  She’d been so afraid.  He’d been her rock.  She had learned one other thing about herself....she wasn’t a married woman!  But that didn’t mean that she didn’t belong to another.  What if she did?  Then what?  What did she want to happen between herself and the man that had rescued her?  She had such strong feelings for him.  Was it possible that she felt that way just because he’d been the person that had taken care of her?  She didn’t think so.  She had a feeling that what was happening between them was something very special.  She wasn’t sure how long she would be with him, but for now, her place was here.  If she belonged to another, there was nothing else to do but face that when the time came.

She’d turned back to the fire, and was standing there staring into the flames that had caught up around the kindling.  She didn’t hear Buck as he awoke and looked her way.

He’d awaken suddenly and panic had gone through him.  Where was she?  Why hadn’t he felt her move, or heard her?  He must have really been exhausted to have slept that soundly.  As his eyes adjusted to the dim light cast from the fire, he could make out her form.  She had the blanket wrapped tightly around herself, and she seemed to be in serious thought.  Sitting up on the side of the bed, he called to her.

“Grey Eyes....are you alrite?”

She turned looking in his direction.  “I think so.”

He came to stand beside her, slipping an arm around her waist, and pulling her close against himself.  He had a feeling that she was worried about what had gone on between them earlier.  He wanted to ease her mind, but he couldn’t say that he was sorry that it had happened.  It had been so wonderful!

“Grey Eyes, what happened ‘tween us....it, it was beautiful.  I ain’t gonna think no less a you because of it.  I ain’t one to go bout doin’ this sort a thing!  There ain’t been but one other woman in my life, and that didn’t work out none to good!  I never thought I would have these feelings again, not after what she went and done to me.  But you changed all that!  We cain’t take back what happened ‘tween us  You’re still the most beautiful lady I’ve ever seen!!  Please don’t feel ashamed of what happened.  It was so beautiful!”  He leaned near and kissed her upturned face.

“What if I learn there is someone else.....”

“Shhh...”  He placed his fingers over her lips.  “We know you ain’t a married lady.  I can hope there ain’t no one out there that could be waiting to claim you.  If there is, I have to deal with it.  I ain’t shore if you believe in destiny, but I do!  I believe you an I, we was destined to be together, if only fer a short while.  You don’t know where you came from, or who you might be, but the memory will come back.  Let’s jist take one day at a time.  I know I’m gonna cherish any time that I have with you.  I never thought that I would find a woman that I could feel these things for again.  I could fall in love with you so easily Grey Eyes.  It shore wouldn’t take much!!”  He reached out and caressed her cheek. 

Leaning her face into the palm of his hand, she closed her eyes, savoring the feel.  She was confused, she was lost, but she had a feeling that what he’d said was true.  The fates had brought them together.  And she wasn’t one to argue with them!  For now, her place was here.  They would take it one day at a time.

Looking up into his eyes, she could see his passion.  She moved closer still to him, and slowly kissed his lips.  Even if she did belong to someone else, right now, she wanted to be in this man’s arms. 

Picking her up, he carried her back to the bed, where they spent the rest of the night learning the others most sensitive spots, giving as much as they were taking from one another. 

Their next few days were spent talking, loving one another and preparing to go to Rock Creek.  Buck had assured her that his friends at the station would welcome her.  She could stay there as long as she wanted.

The afternoon before they were planning to go into town, Buck took her to the site of the stage attack.  It had taken some talking to get him to agree, but she at least wanted to see the spot where it has all happened.  Maybe, just maybe she would remember something.  Perhaps the site would trigger some sort of memory.

Buck wasn’t sure it was such a great idea.  But she seemed adamant about going.  He’d explained to her that there was nothing left in the stage.  Everything had been taken.  But she still wanted to see things for herself.  They rode out shortly after lunch, Buck knowing that if it didn’t help her remember, it was certain to upset her.  But she had made up her mind, he knew there was no changing it.

She sat in the saddle in front of Buck.  His arm was securely around her waist, and she felt safe. But there was a feeling of dread inside.  She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find when she got there.  She only hoped that it would trigger some memory.  She had to remember who she was, where she came from.   She would do anything that it took to remember!!
 
They topped the raise, and Buck stopped the horse.  Sitting there, looking down into the valley below, he remembered what it had looked like nearly a week ago.  He shuddered inside.  Death was a terrible thing.  Especially one that was brought forth in such a violent way.  He was so glad that the gods had spared his Grey Eyes.

The solitary stage presented a mournful scene.  The curtain over the window blew in the wind.  Her stomach tightened into a knot.  This was the same place that she had seen in her dream. Buck felt her tense in front of him, and she jumped as he tightened his arm alittle more around her.

“Are you alrite Grey Eyes?”  His voice was a whisper just above her right ear.  For a moment she didn’t answer as she closed her eyes and the dream began to replay itself in her mind.  She could feel the panic, could hear the cries of fear from the others that had been on the stage with her.  The Indians, the war paint, the arrows flying so deadly through the window of the stage......it was as if it were all happening again, and this time she knew that she had been involved in it.  It wasn’t just a dream!  This was what had happened.  How could God have let something so awful take place?  Let this terrible thing happen to herself and the people that had been on that stage with her??  She could see the  passengers on the stage.  None of them had deserved to die.  She sobbed, and turned to bury her face in Buck’s chest.  His arms quickly folded around her.

“Shhhh Grey Eyes.  It’s alrite.  It’s over.  No one will hurt you as long as I’m here with you!!”

Her body was trembling.   “Buck, why?  Why would God let something like that happen??  Why did they all die but me??  How did I become the lucky one??”

“Shhh, it ain’t for us to know them answers. Seems to me that you ain’t finished here in this life.  That’s why your god spared you.  Don’t question him.  The answers will come in time.”

They were silent as he held her close, letting her fears subside.  Some time later her voice was a mer whisper.  “I still don’t know who I am.”  She sighed.

“No, but you’ve made a step here.  You remembered what happened.  It will come back.  Until then, I promise to take care of you!”

She raised her head from his chest and looked into his eyes.  She knew that what he said was true.  He would take care of her...no matter what.

“Then let’s go see your friends at the station.  It’s time that I tried to get on with this life!”

He just sat for a moment looking down into her eyes.  Then he lowered his head and lightly brushed her lips with his own.  “You’ll like ‘em.  You’ll find out they’ll do anythin for you.”

She sighed.  “I hope you’re right.  Cause right now, I don’t have anywhere else to turn!”




Ben, Hoss and Little Joe rode away from the valley where they had spent the last three hours.  Another meeting with another chief of the Indian tribes in the area.  So far, no one could tell them anything.  But there was a promise of help.  Ben Cartright had been their friend for many years.  They knew that he was fair and just.  If his niece was out there, still alive, they would help him locate her. 

“Paw, you think they know somethin’ they ain’t tellin’ you?”  Hoss looked towards him.

“I don’t think so.  If they had heard anything about a white captive, they would have told me.  I’ve always been fair with them.  We’ve worked through a lot of problems together.  They know I won’t cause them undue harm.  No, they would tell me if they’d gotten word from another tribe.”

“It’s been almost a week Paw.  You reckon she’s still alive?”  Little Joe glanced his way.

“Now Joe don’t talk that a way!  Course she’s still alive!  And we’s gonna find her!  Ain’t we Paw?”

Ben sighed.  “She’s still alive.  I can feel it.  It’s just a matter of time before we can locate her!”



Teaspoon had been standing in the doorway of the office, where the light was better for reading, when he saw Buck ride by with a woman perched in front of him in the saddle.  Pulling off the spectacles, he spoke to no one other than himself...  “Well I’ll be!  I knowed he was involved in somethin’ he weren’t tellin’ the whole truth ‘bout!”  Teaspoon scratched his beard absent-mindedly.  Then he turned from the doorway, replacing the papers on his desk.  They could wait.  Right now he needed to get to the station and see what was going on.
 
Rachel had been outside hanging out the wash when she saw Buck ride in with a lady sitting in front of him in the saddle.  There was a smile on Buck’s face, and Rachel had a feeling that the lady with him was the reason.  She quickly wiped her hands off on the apron around her waist and hurried to greet them.

“Buck, you’re back!  Everything okay?”

“Jist fine Rachel!” Buck slipped from the back of the horse and reached to help the lady from the saddle. “Rachel, this is Grey Eyes.”  He reached for her hand and pulled her a little closer.  “Grey Eyes, this is Rachel Dunn.  I’ve told you about her.”

She nodded and reached out to shake Rachel’s offered hand.  “I’m glad to meet you Grey Eyes.”

“If’n you and Teaspoon don’t mind none, she needs to stay with us for awhile.”

“No problem with me, and I’m sure that Teaspoon won’t mind either.  Come in Grey Eyes.  I’m sure that you could use a cool drink.  The suns a might hot this morning.”  Rachel slipped her arm around Grey Eyes’ shoulders and steered her towards the front porch of the house.

Walking along beside Rachel, Grey Eyes glanced at Buck over her left shoulder and saw that he was leading the horse towards the barn.  She felt a little uneasy without him by her side, but Rachel’s soft voice snagged her attention, and put her at ease.

Teaspoon entered the barn just as Buck was unsaddling his horse.  “I sees you’re back son.  Brought someone with you.”

Buck turned towards him. “Her name’s Grey Eyes...or least that’s what I’m calling her ‘til she remembers who she is.”

“Remembers who she is?  She don’t know who she is?  She was on that stage you run across weren’t she?”

“Yeah, she was.  She cain’t remember much bout it.  Has no idea who she is, where she’s from, or where she was going.”

“Sad thing not to remember.  You’s better get her over to the Doc’s and have him check her out.”

“Thought I’d do that this afternoon if’n you can spare me for a few more hours.”

“Shore son.  I’m rite proud a you for takin’ care a her.  She probably wouldn’t a lived if you hadn’t!”

Buck nodded as he and Teaspoon walked out of the barn.  He turned his horse loose in the corral, then walked with Teaspoon towards the house.
                       

Grey Eyes was surprised at how at home she felt once she entered the house.  “This is nice Rachel.  I really appreciate your letting me stay here.”

“It’s no problem Grey Eyes.  Any friend of a rider, is a friend of mine!  We’ll get you all settled into the room at the end of the hall. You’re welcomed to stay as long as you like.”

Teaspoon and Buck joined them shortly, and Grey Eyes smiled as she reached a hand out to shake Marshal Hunter’s. He quickly understood why Buck had given her the name Grey Eyes.  He had never seen the shade of hers.  They were grey!

 “I’ve heard a lot about you Marshal Hunter.  Buck thinks the world of you!”

Teaspoon blushed slightly around the edges, and cleared his throat.  “Well, I thinks the world a him too!  He tells me that you cain’t remember who you are.  I’m sorry to hear that you were on the stage that was attacked.  Do you think that you were traveling with family?”

“I don’t think so Marshal Hunter.  I had a dream and I’m positive that is what happened.  The men that were on that stage with me weren’t my kin.”

“A dream you say?”

“Yeah Teaspoon.  She woke me up screamin’.  Thought something had come in that cabin and had a hold a her!”  Buck grinned her way.

It was her turn to blush.  “I’m sorry about that!  It was just such a terrible happening.  When I dreamed about it, it was if it were all happening all over again!  I’m just glad that Buck was there to help me through it afterwards!”  She smiled his way, and Teaspoon didn’t miss the silent messages that were flowing between them.  For Buck’s sake, he hoped that this little lady wasn’t a married woman!

“Well, I think it would be a good idea if Buck here took you over to see the Doc.  Jist to make sure you’re okay.  I’m shore Buck took good care of you, but there might be something that he can do about your memory.”

“I appreciate your concern Marshal Hunter.  Sure, I’ll go with Buck to see him.”

“It’s Teaspoon, little lady.  Marshal Hunter is to business like!  We’re all family here!”

She smiled.  “Okay Teaspoon.  I do hope you don’t mind my staying at the station for awhile.  Buck seemed positive that you and Rachel wouldn’t mind.  Rachel has already told me that I’m welcome to stay as long as I’d like.  I hope that you feel the same.  I’d also like to be useful around here.  I hope that there’s something I can do to help out to earn my keep!”

“Of course you can stay as long as you like.  But you don’t have to do anything.  The boys give Rachel plenty of help.”

“Well, I would feel much better if I could lend a hand at something.  Guess Rachel and I can figure that out later!”  She glanced Rachel’s way and they smiled at one another.

“Okay then. It’s settled.  Buck here will walk you over to the Doc’s office when you feel ready to go.  I’ve got my paper work to do.  I’ll see you all at supper tonight!”


Buck escorted her to town where she saw Doc Roberts.  He was a kindly, older man, and she listened carefully as he told her what she could expect with the memory loss.  He seemed to think that it would return, but it could take weeks, months, even a year.  The blow to the head had probably been the cause.  He examined her thoroughly, and commended Buck on his good care of her.

After seeing the Doc, Buck showed Grey Eyes around town.  She had a feeling that she had been in an area much like this one before.  The town was a busy one.  The dirt streets were filled with people coming and going in both directions.  The general store in the center of town seemed to be the main attraction for the early afternoon.  There was also a saloon, a barber shop, dress maker, a school, church, livery stable, blacksmith and of course the marshal’s office and jail.

“It’s nice here, Buck.  I wouldn’t mind living somewhere like this.”

He smiled and squeezed her hand that he was holding as they walked along.  “Would be nice to have you here.  Do you think you mite stay?”

She sighed.  “It just depends.  I know I’ll be here at least until I remember who I am and where I was headed on that stage.  Obviously it wasn’t here to Rock Creek.  I think I would have remembered something once I’d arrived.  Or at least someone would have been here to meet me.”

“Well, I don’t wish you any ill, but I hope you happen to be in Rock Creek for a long time!”

She looked up into his brown eyes.  If truth were known, she was wishing the same thing!  They had stopped walking, and were standing across the street from Teaspoon’s office on the sidewalk.  He happened to walk to the doorway just as Buck reached out to caress her cheek.  Teaspoon could see the feeling between the two of them even this far away.  He had a bad feeling about this.  He didn’t want Buck to get hurt again.  But it was all pointing in that direction.  Grey Eyes was a beautiful woman, and he could understand why Buck would become interested in her.  But fact was, he knew nothing about her, and it wasn’t good to lose your heart to someone that you probably could never have!  He would have to say something to Buck...if it wasn’t already too late!  He knew that he probably wasn’t going to be in any frame of mind to do any listening...but at least he would feel that he had done his part by trying to warn him to keep a hold on his heart.  But then again, from a personal standpoint, after being married six times, Teaspoon knew that wasn’t an easy thing to do!


Buck wanted to lean down and kiss those beautiful, inviting lips of hers, but he knew that he shouldn’t do that here in town.  He’d already noticed the strange looks that the two of them had gotten as they walked along.  She hadn’t noticed because she wasn’t used to the prejudice of the town’s people.  He wouldn’t want her reputation to be tarnished by him.  So instead of doing what his heart desired most, he just smiled, gave her cheek another gentle caress, and started walking once again.  Grey Eyes slipped her arm through his, and smiled up at him as they walked along.  She knew that she had lost her heart already to this man.  She only hoped that God would understand and once her memory returned he wouldn’t take her away from him.



Teaspoon and Buck were sitting on the porch before supper.  Buck was telling him what the Doc had said about Grey Eyes’ memory loss.  It sounded favorable, except for the part that he had no idea when the memory would actually return.  That worried Teaspoon in more ways than one.  He would hate to be a father worried about his daughter.  Not having any idea where she was or what had happened to her.  Was she alive or dead?  Plus the longer she was here, the more of a temptation she was to Buck.

Cody came strolling up with Jimmy and Noah.  He, being the one at the station that considered himself the ladies man, was the first to ask about the guest.

“Buck, I heard you brought a beautiful lady in with you this morning.  She from round here?”

“Not shore Cody.”

“What’s her name?”

“Grey Eyes.”

Cody looked rather startled.  “I thought Jimmy said she was a white woman!”

Buck opened his mouth to reply, but Teaspoon spoke first.  “She is.”  He could feel Buck’s hackles beginning to rise.  He was very much on the defensive.  His Indian heritage was very important to him.  Though the others understood, sometimes they didn’t think before they said things.

“Then why she got a name like Grey Eyes?  She part Indian?”
                           
“Nope.  That’s what we’re calling her for now.  She ain’t got no recollection a who she is or where she’s from!”  Teaspoon answered. Looking at Buck from the corner of his eye.

“No recollection?  What happened to her to make her forget?”  Noah asked interested.

“She was on the stage that was attacked last week.  She fell off the stage and hit her head.  That must be what caused her to forgit.  Seems she were the only survivor.  If Buck here hadn’t come along and found her, she’d be dead too!”

“Reckon she has family out there a lookin’ fer her?”  Jimmy sat down on the edge of the porch beside Buck. 

“It’s possible.  Only thing she’s remembered so far is what happened when the stage was attacked.  Doc Roberts said her memory should return, but there is no telling how long it will be.”

Cody was still stuck on the name.  “Why’d you name her Grey Eyes?  Couldn’t you a named her something else like...Maggie, or Katherine, or Cassie.....or anything but Grey Eyes?”

“Jist what’s wrong with Grey Eyes?”  Buck stood up and quickly stepped across the porch to Cody.  He was still standing on the ground.  The porch put Buck a head or so above Cody in height.  He looked down at him with a disturbed look on his face.

For a moment Cody looked up at Buck.  He hadn’t meant anything by the question.  “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with it.  I jist thought a white woman’s name would a sounded better!  I mean since she is a white woman!”

Buck once more opened his mouth to speak, but Teaspoon stepped in.  “That’s enough boys.  When you meet Grey Eyes, you’ll understand why he gave her the name.  It fits very well. The lady is obviously in agreement with the name, else she would have said something about it.  Buck here found her, guess that gives him the privilege of giving her a name!  I’m sure we’ll know her white name a fore long!  Now let’s go in and eat!  I’m starved!  I think I smell fried chicken!”

Cody moved up on the porch side stepping Buck.  They filed into the house with a still disgruntled Buck bring up the rear.  Teaspoon patted him on the back as he went through the door.  “Don’t pay Cody no mind son.  You know how he is!”

By the time supper was finished, Grey Eyes had met everyone except Kid and Lou.  Kid had just come in from a run that evening and he and his wife were spending a quiet night at home.  She would meet them at some point the next day.  She quickly formed opinions of the other riders. 
                       
There was Jimmy Hickok.  He was a very handsome man.  He was the quiet type.  She noticed that he listened to what was going on around him, and only contributed to the conversation if he thought what he had to say was worthwhile.  He had brown hair down to his shirt collar, and brown eyes.  He was serious, didn’t smile much.  But when he did it was a brilliant smile, one that could melt any woman’s heart.

Then there was Noah Dixon.  He was a free black man.  He was very intelligent.  Grey Eyes decided that he must have been one of the lucky black people that had a chance at an education. He was very friendly, and seemed concerned about her welfare.

Lastly there was Cody, or William F. Cody, as he was actually named.  He had expressive blue eyes and a head full of blond hair down to his shoulders.  He loved to laugh and was a non-stop talker.  She had a feeling that he could tell a tale or two.  He was very friendly, but there was something about him that was unsettling, at least to her.  She had a feeling that he considered himself to be the perfect male.  The one that all the ladies couldn’t resist.  She had to admit he was nice looking, but that wasn’t a draw for her.

Her eyes kept straying to Buck throughout the meal.  He was rather quiet, and she wondered if something was wrong.  But once when he looked up from his plate and caught her looking his way, he turned on that heart stopping smile, and Grey Eyes forgot she was suppose to be eating!

While she was assessing them, each of the riders were doing the same to the beautiful woman sitting at their table.  They all realized that Teaspoon had been right.  The name Grey Eyes did fit her well.  None of them could remember ever seeing anyone with eyes that color.  She was like a dream sitting there with all that auburn hair falling down around her shoulders. 

Cody entertained the thoughts of asking her to the dance on Saturday, but had a feeling that she would turn him down.  Especially after he noticed the way that she kept looking at Buck through the meal.  He knew that Buck was still upset with him, and that was why he was being so quiet. It probably hadn’t just been the thing about the name; he was protecting what he already considered his!

After the meal had been cleared away, most everyone disappeared with the exception of Teaspoon, Rachel, Grey Eyes and Buck.  There was a fire burning in the living room, and the four of them settled there.  Rachel and Grey Eyes were in the mists of a conversation about what she could do to help out around the station, and Buck and Teaspoon were discussing a run to one of the forts that they were going to have to make within the next week with some important papers for the army.

It was nice to sit and relax.  Grey Eyes felt very at home.  Rachel was mending socks, sitting in the rocking chair.  Teaspoon was sipping coffee, sitting beside Grey Eyes on the sofa.  Buck was reclining on the floor in front of the fire, watching the logs burn.  His mind was wrapped around the woman sitting only inches away from him. 

She closed her eyes, and for just a moment, Grey Eyes remembered doing this very same thing with someone else.  A man and a woman.  Her heart gave a leap, and the memory was gone as quickly as it had come.  Doc Roberts has been right, her memory would return...slowly.  She sighed, and Buck looked up from his place in the floor.

Since they had arrived that morning, he hadn’t been able to spend as much time with her as he would have liked.  The last three days, they had spent entirely alone, together.  He missed that.  But he knew that it couldn’t be that way now.  They had to go back to the normal way of life.  He wasn’t sure how long he would have with this beautiful lady, he hoped it was a lifetime, but he had no way of knowing the answer.  If she belonged to someone, that someone would be looking for her, and eventually she would leave him.  He knew that he shouldn’t become involved with her further, but it was no use.  It was like telling the sun not to shine.  She was a part of him.  He had known from the first moment that he had laid eyes on her that she was special.  When they’d made love, it had only confirmed things for him.  Even if he didn’t want to admit it, she held his heart.  That could be a very dangerous thing!  Tonight, he would tell her goodnight and go to the bunkhouse to sleep.  He wouldn’t be holding her in his arms as he had every night since they’d met.  How would he ever sleep without her by his side?

Teaspoon looked at the clock on the mantle, then stretched.  “Time for me to make my rounds.  Gettin’ late.”

“I think I’ll turn in.  Have to be up early to fix breakfast.  If you need anything Grey Eyes, I’ll be just up those stairs.  Just give a yell.”  She placed her mending on the floor by the rocking chair and stood up.

“Thank you Rachel. Goodnight.”  Grey Eyes smiled in her direction.

“Night Teaspoon, Buck.”

Buck rose from his place in the floor, and stood for a moment just looking into the fire.  Teaspoon watched as Grey Eyes got up from the sofa and moved to stand by Buck’s side.  He slipped an arm around her waist, and leaned his head down on top of hers.  Yip, it was too late!  Teaspoon shook his head, as he headed into the kitchen, drinking the last of his coffee.

Grey Eyes whispered, “I’ll miss you with me tonight.”

Buck sighed.  “I know.  I’ll miss you too.  It’ll be awfully lonely in that bunk tonight!”

She looked up at him and smiled.  “I’m sure the window opens.  If you get to lonely, you know where to find me!”

For a moment he stood studying her face, then whispered, “That an invitation?”

“I’d say so!”

Teaspoon was moving back towards them.  He hadn’t been ease dropping; their tones were to soft for him to hear their conversation except for a word here or there.  But he had a feeling he knew what their conversation had been about.  He had a very strong feeling that something had already happened between the two of them at the cabin.  “Yous ready to go son?”

Buck looked at Teaspoon over Grey Eyes head.  “Shore.”  He kissed her lips quickly.  “See you in the morning.”

“Night my Running Buck.”  She whispered, smiling at him.  Then she turned to tell Teaspoon goodnight as well.  He was standing by the door with a very serious look on his face.  “Night Teaspoon.”
                   
“Nite Grey Eyes.  Sleep well.”

Buck stood for a moment watching her walk toward the bedroom, then turned to Teaspoon.  They stepped out onto the porch, and Teaspoon stretched, then rubbed his stomach.  “Shore was a good meal tonight.  Don’t you think so son?”

Buck didn’t answer.  His thoughts were still wrapped around the lady that he’d left inside.

“Son, is you alrite?”

Teaspoon’s voice brought him back from his private thoughts.  “What?  Sorry Teaspoon, I was....was...”

“Don’t need to explain son.  I knows where your mind was.  On that pretty little auburn haired lady climbing into bed.”

Buck twisted his hat in his hands as he looked out over the yard of the station.  “Yeah, I guess it was.”  He felt a little embarrassed suddenly.

“Son, I knows you don’t want to hear this....but you best be careful.  You ain’t got no ways a knowin’ if’n that little lady is married or not.”

“She ain’t married Teaspoon.”

“Now how you know that?”  He looked Buck’s way startled.  “She cain’t recollect her own name.  I’s shore she ain’t been able to tell you if’n she’s married or not.”

“No, but we both know she ain’t!”  He fell silent and Teaspoon wondered at his words. 

“You sound awfully positive a that fact.  I knows yous got some pruddy strong feeling for that little lady.  I’s done seen that.  She mite even feel the same bout you, but sooner or later her memory is a gonna come back and she’s a gonna wanta go back to her life.  What if’n she was traveling to meet her future husband?  You know marriages get arranged without the young people meetin’ one nother sometimes!  If’n that’s the case, yous gonna be broken hearted over it.”

“Guess we’ll have to cross that bridge if we come to it.  I jist know that she ain’t married yet, so that means there’s a chance in there for me!”

“Son you don’t know for shore that she ain’t married.”  

Buck didn’t really want to tell Teaspoon what had happened between them, but it didn’t look as if he as going to let the subject drop.  “Teaspoon, I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

“I knows that son.  I jist don’t want you gettin’ hurt no more.  I member what Kathleen did to you.”

“I done made a decision where Grey Eyes is concerned.  It mite not a been the right one, but it’s made, and I can’t unmake it.  If’n she’s a married woman....that marriage weren’t never consummated!”  With those words, Buck stepped off the porch and headed for the bunkhouse, leaving Teaspoon there to think about what he’d said.

Well, that answered any question in his mind!  Buck and Grey Eyes had already done them married things together.  He sure hoped that they were right and she wasn’t married.  If she was, there was going to be hell to pay!  He shook his head as he started towards town.  Young love came with a price.  He only hoped that the price wasn’t too high!


The following morning, Grey Eyes woke feeling well rested.  It dawned on her that Buck hadn’t joined her during the night.  But she assumed that he was as exhausted as she was and had probably slept through the night.

Buck was up before the others in the bunkhouse.  He had slept well, considering how he had felt when he’d lain down.  His mind wouldn’t turn away from Grey Eyes and he kept thinking about what he’d told Teaspoon.  He knew that he should have kept that little piece of information to himself, but it was too late.  He knew that Teaspoon wouldn’t think any less of her because it had happened between them.  He just had to be careful how he acted around her when others were there.

There was another thing that Teaspoon has mentioned that was bothering him.  What if she had been traveling to meet or join her future husband?  If she was, then they had probably ruined that for her.  No man would want a ruined woman.  Especially one that had been ruined by a half-breed!  And if she had been traveling to someone, that she loved, he knew that she was going to be sorry that they had done what they had so carelessly.  He sighed.  Teaspoon was right.  He had to be careful.  But he knew that he couldn’t stay away from her for very long.  His body was already longing for hers.

He was sorely tempted to join her around 3:00 AM, but he had restrained himself.  He thought it best not to let Teaspoon catch him climbing in or out of that window.  He slept in the bedroom right next to Grey Eyes.  If they made much noise, Teaspoon would hear them!  Plus he had a feeling that Teaspoon would be keeping an eye out for him to come slipping around after everyone was asleep.  It would be something that he couldn’t chance too many times, no matter how many times he wanted to.


Grey Eyes met Lou and Kid at breakfast that morning.  She could tell that they were very much in love.  Kid was a very positive man.  He could make you feel as if everything would turn out right in the end.  They both seemed concerned about her, and made her feel welcomed as the others had.

Lou wondered how Grey Eyes felt about Buck.  She could see her face glow every time his name was mentioned.  She was wondering about Buck’s feelings, when he and Jimmy came in for breakfast.  She could tell that he was just itching to kiss her, as he gave Grey Eyes a good morning hug.  Lou had a feeling that these two would have a future together if there was any way to work it out!

Grey Eyes had a feeling that Lou would be as good a friend as Rachel was turning out to be.  They talked while washing the dishes.

“I was hoping that Buck was borrowing the dress for a lady friend.  I didn’t want to see him come riding back wearing it!”  Lou laughed and Grey Eyes joined her as she got a mental picture of Buck in the dress that she was wearing.

“I really don’t think it would have fit Lou!”  She wiped tears from her eyes, from the laughter, then smiled her way.  “I do appreciate your letting me borrow it.  The Indians took everything that I had with me.  The dress that I had on when Buck found me was dirty and torn to badly to be mended.  If you hadn’t loaned me something, I would have ridden in here wrapped in a blanket!”

“I’m sure that there are several other things that I have that will fit you.  You’re welcome to borrow them until something else can be arranged.  Why don’t you walk over to the house with me after we finish here.”

“Thanks Lou, I can’t begin to tell you all how much it means to me..your taking me in and all.”

“Grey Eyes, we’re put on this earth to help take care of each other.  You’ll learn the longer you’re here, that every one of the riders will do anything they can for you.  They were raised that way, by Teaspoon Hunter.”  Rachel smiled.  “He even taught me a thing or two!”

“I could tell by the way Buck spoke of him, that there were a lot of feelings there.  He seems to be a wonderful man!”

“That he is.  This place wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t for Teaspoon!”

Grey Eyes spent most of the morning with Lou.  They discussed life there at the station, and Lou told her a little more about Buck and the other riders.  Grey Eyes didn’t want to her to think that she was only interest in Buck, but he was the only one that she seemed to ask questions about. 

“Seems you’re a mite interested in Mr. Cross!”

Grey Eyes blushed.  “I guess I am.  I’m beholding to him for what he did for me...but it’s deeper than that.  There are already special feelings here, inside for him.”  She pointed to her chest.  “I don’t know who I am, or where I was going on that stage.  But I do hope that it wasn’t to a husband, or to someone that was supposed to be my husband.”  She sighed.

Lou reached out and patted her hand.  “It will all work out as it’s supposed to.  Buck has been a very lonely person.  Especially since Ike died.  He needs someone in his life. He fell in love with a lady once, but it didn’t work out.  She really stomped on his heart.  I didn’t know if he would ever get over it.”

“He told me about her.  I don’t understand why people can be so cruel!”

“The people who live here in Rock Creek are just as cruel!  They don’t trust him.  In their eyes, he’s just a no count half-breed.  None of the fathers here will let their daughters have anything to do with him, he’s used to it, but it still hurts. He needs someone that sees him for what he is, not what the others make him out to be.  I know that you’ve just met him, but the feelings that I see in your eyes seem honest.  You’d be good for him!”

“We were in town yesterday afternoon and I didn’t notice anything unusual.  You’re supposed to accept everyone, no matter what.  How can a person call themselves a Christian if they don’t live by those rules?”  It made Grey Eyes angry to think of the people of the town treating Buck that way.  But he had mentioned it to her before.  So Lou was undoubtedly telling the truth.  She might not remember who she was, but she remembered how you were supposed to treat people!

“I’m not sure!  I’ve often wondered the same thing!  If you stay long enough, I’m sure you’ll notice the difference in how they treat Buck and the other riders.  They were probably giving the two of you some strange looks yesterday.  But don’t let them bother you.  Sooner or later they have to learn that Buck isn’t out to harm them!”

She headed back to the station just before lunch.  Lou had given her several more dresses, and some under garments.  She would have to think of some way to repay her kindness.
 

Jimmy wasn’t there for lunch.  He was heading to the nearby town of Willow Creek to pick up some supplies for Sarah Brooks, the lady that he was planning to marry.   Grey Eyes had learned the night before that Sarah was the schoolteacher in Rock Creek.  Rachel had promised to walk with her over to the school that afternoon and introduce her to Sarah.  It was apparent that she was also considered part of the station family!

Grey Eyes liked Jimmy Hickok.  He still seemed shy around her, but she had a feeling that once he got to know you, that he wasn’t like that.  Maybe if she and Sarah hit it off, then Jimmy would come out of his shell more.

Rachel took the buckboard into town to pick up supplies.  Grey Eyes rode along, thinking about things as they traveled the short distance to the general store.  Buck had spoken with her at breakfast, then had left to mend some fences for Teaspoon.  She knew that the days were busy for people living in the area.  She wasn’t sure how she knew this, but the knowledge was there.  She remembered someone leaving right after breakfast and her not seeing them until late that evening.  She wondered if it were her father that she was recalling.  She wondered if he was still alive.

“Grey Eyes, why are you so quiet?  Are you feeling okay?”  Rachel looked her way concern written on her face.

“I’m fine Rachel.  I was just thinking, and I remembered something.....not sure who, but I remembered a man leaving early after breakfast and returning late from working all day.  I was thinking how busy life was here in the west.”

“Your memory’s starting to return.  That’s a good sign.  I do hope that when you remember things that you’ll be able to make your home here.  I hope that you weren’t going some where on that stage to start a new life, or to rejoin your family.”

“So do I Rachel...so do I!”

“Seems you have thoughts of staying here.  Maybe with a good looking man named Buck Cross?”

Grey Eyes blushed.  Rachel had read her mind.  “I care a great deal for him Rachel.  He’s so sweet, and caring.  I’m not sure where I’d be if he hadn’t come along to save me.  I have to admit, he already has my heart.  Or at least a part of it.  I do hope that someone else doesn’t hold it too!”

Rachel leaned over and gave her a hug from the buckboard seat.  “Things happen for a reason.  I think Buck was supposed to find you.  I think the two of you have a future together!”

Grey Eyes smiled her way as they pulled up in front of the general store.  She wanted to be apart of this little town.  Was that possible?

  

Sarah Brooks was beautiful!  She had shoulder length blond hair and sparkling green eyes.  She seemed so full of life, and the children seemed to adore her!  Rachel and Grey Eyes stood in the back of her classroom watching her with the children.  She just had a way about her.  After the class had been dismissed for the afternoon, Rachel took Grey Eyes over to introduce her. 

“It’s wonderful to meet you Grey Eyes.  I hope you decide to stay here in Rock Creek once you get your memory back.”

Grey Eyes smiled as she reached to shake Sarah’s hand.  “I hope so too.  I hear you’re going to be marrying Jimmy Hickok!  He seems to be a wonderful man!”

Sarah beamed.  “He is wonderful.  Like no one I’ve ever met before.  It took me a long time to convince Jimmy that he needed a woman, any woman in his life.  But Rachel and Teaspoon were behind me all the way!  Shoot, I think I had all the riders helping me out too, if the truth be known!”

Rachel laughed.  “You just might be right there Sarah.  I’m just so glad that we all finally convinced him that taking you for his wife was the thing he needed to do!”

“Is the wedding soon?”  Grey Eyes smiled her way.

“The day after Thanksgiving.  Just a little over two months from now.  I’ve got to start getting ready.  I want to try to make my dress.  I have the material.  I picked it up yesterday from the general store.  Mr. Tucker special ordered it for me.  I hope I can get it made.  I’m not that great a seamstress!”

Grey Eyes smiled.  “I can sew...” That thought made her stop in mid sentence.  She glanced at the two of them...”Or at least I think I can!  Guess that’s another one of those memories that is just popping back into place!  I’d love to help you with it.... that is if you wouldn’t mind!”

Sarah smiled.  “That would be wonderful!  We can get started just as soon as you have the time!”

“How bout tomorrow?  I’ve got plenty of time!  I’ve been trying to help Rachel out a little at the station, but so far, she hasn’t let me do an awful lot.”

“Okay.  Tomorrow afternoon right after school.  I’m so excited!  I live in the yellow house at the North end of town.  I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”



That evening, Jimmy brought Sarah to supper.  Grey Eyes was happy to see her.  They spent a lot of time talking about the up coming wedding with Rachel and Lou.  The men basically stayed outside on the porch.  They knew better than try to get into the ladies conversation.  Jimmy knew if he wanted to keep peace, he would just let his future bride made all the arrangements.

Buck was glad to see that Grey Eyes seemed to be getting along with all the ladies that were a part of his life.  Eventually, if she stayed in Rock Creek, Grey Eyes would feel that she belonged there. 

Teaspoon had gone back to the marshal’s office, and the other riders were at the bunkhouse playing cards.  Jimmy and Buck had declined the game.  Jimmy knowing that he wanted to walk Sarah back home, and Buck wanted to spend a little alone time with Grey Eyes.

“Yous awfully quiet Buck.  You got somethin’ you need to talk about?”

Buck glanced Jimmy’s way.  Usually Jimmy didn’t pry into other people’s business.  Mostly because he didn’t want them prying into his.

“Grey Eyes shore is one pruddy lady.  You know Cody seemed interested in her when she arrived.  Guess he decided that he better not step on your toes.”  Jimmy grinned.  He’d been wanting to ask Buck how he felt about Grey Eyes, but didn’t know how to bring it up without seeming nosey. 

“She’s a very pruddy lady, and Cody made a wise decision!”

“Guess that means that you really are interested in her, huh?”

“Something like that.”

Jimmy wasn’t surprised by his answers.  Buck mostly kept things to himself.  Ike had been the only one that he had ever really opened up to.  He decided the only way to get him to talk about what was on his mind was to keep asking questions.

“You reckon she’ll stay after she remembers who she is?”

Buck sighed.  “I ain’t shore.  All I can do is hope.  I ain’t wantin’ to git hurt again.  But I ain’t the keeper of my heart no more.  She’s the one who decides if it gets broken again or not.”

“You and Grey Eyes...you spent some nights alone at that cabin after you found her.  You and her....uh.....”  He wasn’t sure how to ask the question.  He and the other riders didn’t talk much about these things.  The subject was a rather embarrassing one, though they were all males.

Buck looked in his direction.  What was he asking him?  He decided if he was going to pry, then he was going to do some asking himself.  “Have you and Sarah?”

Jimmy smiled in the semi darkness.  His answer was a rather soft one.  If Buck hadn’t been listening carefully, he would have missed it.  “Yeah, we have.”

“Why you wanta know bout me and Grey Eyes?”

“I jist figured that somethin’ went on tween the two a yous up there, and I was wondering how you was handling it now that you was here.  I mean, Sarah has a house a her own.  It ain’t like we has to sneak around to be together.  We are gettin’ married and all, but Teaspoon probably wouldn’t approve of it, if’n he knowed.”

“You’re right.  He wouldn’t.  That’s one reason I ain’t gotten to spend any time alone with Grey Eyes since we arrived.  That and his bedroom happens to be right beside hers!”

Jimmy laughed.  “That does present a problem!”

“Yeah, Jimmy, Grey Eyes and I done them married things.  It wasn’t planned.  She had this terrible dream, and I went to comfort her....things just happened.  Then it happened again an again!  I never thought I would feel like this bout another lady after Kathleen.  She makes my world a brighter place!”

“Reckon she’s married?”

“No, she ain’t.  She hadn’t never been with a man before.”

“Then when she gits her memory back, she can stay here.”

“If she wants to.  And if she doesn’t belong to someone else.”

“You jist said she weren’t married.”

“Yeah, but that don’t mean she ain’t promised to someone.  They arrange marriages, even when the two ain’t never seen one another!   Guess that’s something that we have to face when the time comes.”

“Would you marry her if she stayed her?  It took me a long time to decide I wanted to marry Sarah, even though I loved her.”

“If she’d have me.”

“Yous ain’t scared a gettin’ married?”

“Shore.  But if’n you loves the lady enough, I figure it will all work out!  I know if she stays here, I won’t be happy if I ain’t with her all the time.  That means nite time too!!”  Buck looked towards his friend.  “You scared a gettin’ hitched?”

“Yeah...but I love her!!”

“But it’s the rite thing to do!  You need her in your life.  She makes you feel whole, don’t she?”

Jimmy was silent as he thought about Buck’s question.  He was right.  He wouldn’t be happy without her.  She made his life complete.  “Yip, she does.”

“Then don’t worry none about it. It’ll work out.”

“I shore hope so Buck.  It’s a big step.  I jist hope I can protect her.  I ain’t never shore when some outlaw mite call me out.”

“But Sarah is a strong lady.  She can take care a herself.  Jist enjoy your life with her and don’t worry bout it so much.  If you ain’t careful, you’ll waste your time with worry and not happiness!”

They were both silent for a while, then Jimmy spoke up again.  “I knows you want to spend as much time with Grey Eyes as you can.  I’ll say somethin’ to Sarah.  Since they seems to be gettin’ along okay, she probably won’t have a problem with you two spending time there.”

“I don’t know Jimmy.  I ain’t crazy bout people knowin’....”

“I ain’t neither.  I ain’t gonna say anythin’ bout it.  You knows Sarah won’t.”

Buck nodded as the door opened and the ladies stepped out to join them. 


That night, Buck chanced it, and slipped silently to Grey Eyes window.  She had been lying awake, wondering if he would come to her that night.  She heard a light tapping on her window, and quickly hurried over to let him in.

“Shhh, Teaspoon is right next door, and I ain’t so shore if’n he’s asleep yet.  He ain’t been back from his rounds very long.”

She nodded, and Buck softly closed the window.  Turning, he pulled Grey Eyes up against his body.  She was so soft and warm, and smelled so good.  “Oh how I’ve missed you!”  She sighed as he leaned down to kiss her.

“Since I don’t think I’ve ever even considered doing this with another, and we both know I hadn’t, guess I never was one of those wanton women.....but I’ve craved your body next to mine every night that you weren’t here!  See what you’ve done to me!!”

He smiled.  “You haven’t craved it any more than I have.  I want to spend the whole nite doing them married things with you...it’s all I can think about.....”  His lips started at her own and worked their way down over her cheek, her throat, and over her collarbone.  Before she lost control of her senses, Grey Eyes reached for his hand and pulled him towards the bed.  Their night was spent in loving bliss.

The riders were getting used to Grey Eyes being among them.  It didn’t surprise them either when Buck made it very plain that she belonged to him.  Teaspoon was still worried about things, but knew he couldn’t talk them out of their feelings.  He had a suspicion that Buck had joined her at night, but he never saw him entering her bedroom.  If he saw him, he wasn’t sure what he would have said about it.  He decided that it was better if he just didn’t know for sure!



Sarah’s wedding dress was coming along beautifully.  They found out that Grey Eyes really did know how to sew.  Sarah was determined to pay Grey Eyes for her work, but she wouldn’t hear of it.  So she bought material for her so that she could make her own clothes.

‘You really didn’t have to do this Sarah!”  Grey Eyes was fingering the beautiful material that she had just presented her with.

“I know.  But I wanted to do something nice for you.  I knew that you would want to have some other dresses, and since you know you can sew, you’re welcome to use the sewing machine any time.’

Grey Eyes reached for her to give her a hug.  “Thank you Sarah.  This is really sweet of you.  I’m glad that you brought the sewing machine with you when you moved to Rock Creek!”

“This sewing machine belonged to my grandmother.  My grandfather saved for nearly two years to buy it for her.  I think she loved it almost as much as she loved him!!  I couldn’t part with it after she passed away!  Even though I’m not always sure how to use it!”

“I don’t know how often I sewed, but I’m finding I really enjoy it!  Must have been something that I did well before I lost my memory!”

“As I said, you can use the sewing machine as often as you like.  Maybe even start sewing for the people in Rock Creek.  That would give you a chance to make a little money!”

“That’s true!  You come up with such wonderful ideas lady!”

“Well, while we’re talking about ideas.....I’m not real sure how to bring this up.”  Grey Eyes looked her way wondering what she had in mind. “I know that we haven’t really talked that much about my relationship with Jimmy.  But you know that I love the man very much, and of course we’re getting married.  You know there are certain things that go along with being married...between a man and a woman, I mean.”  She glanced towards Grey Eyes, and she didn’t appear to be embarrassed by her words.  “Anyway, Jimmy and I have been doing those married things for some time now.  We love each other, and we want to share that love.  I know that you and Buck haven’t known one another that long.....but Jimmy seemed to give me the impression that the two of you were at that point in your relationship.....or is my thinking completely wrong?”

Grey Eyes was startled at what she was asking.  “Jimmy?”

“I think the other night when the four of us were in Rachel’s kitchen talking about our wedding, he and Buck were sitting out on the porch.  I think Jimmy felt the need to share something with someone, and Buck was the lucky one!  I mean, he’s usually very quiet about things, not wanting anyone to know his business.  They probably started talking about things and Jimmy probably confessed to Buck that he and I were spending at least three or four nights together a week.  I’m not saying that Buck told Jimmy anything about your relationship....he might have been just guessing about it.  Plus I might be stepping way out of line here.”

“No Sarah, you aren’t.  It happened between us even before we came to the station.”  Sarah noticed that Grey Eyes seemed a little reluctant to talk about things.

“If you don’t want to talk about this...”

“No, it’s okay.    Fact is, I’d like someone to talk to about it.  The first time, I’d had a terrible dream.  I dreamed about what happened to me on the stage.  I relived the entire thing and I woke up screaming.  Buck was there to comfort me...and things just happened.  It was something that I needed.  I needed to know that he was there to protect me, no matter what.  Then after it was all over, and we’d talked about it, I realized that there were some feelings there for him.  I was afraid that I might just be feeling beholding to him because he did save my life.  But then it happened again....and again.  It was beautiful between us.  Now I want him with me all the time.  I feel so wanton!  I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way!  And I know I’ve never been with anyone else.”

“Sometimes love takes us by surprise!  You probably feel the way you do because you know you haven’t known Buck for very long.  But sometimes when it’s right...you don’t need a lifetime to know it!  Sure he saved your life, but I think the feelings that you have for him are more than just gratitude!  I imagine it’s been pretty hard for the two of you to spend any time together without the others around since you came to the station.”

“Very hard.  He’s visited me once during the night, but he has to be real careful since Teaspoon’s bedroom happens to be right beside mine!”

Sarah laughed.  “Ummm, bet that’s real interesting!  Well, I’m extending an invitation.  Any time that the two of you want to spend some time together, you’re welcome to come here.  I’ve got plenty of room.  Jimmy and I won’t mind.  It’s so much easier when one of you has a house and you don’t have to sneak off to be together!”

“You’re sure about this?”

“Positive!  If I hadn’t been, I never would have mentioned it!   We’ll come up with some sort of excuse to give Teaspoon and Rachel.  They know you’re helping me with our wedding plans.  We could just tell them that you’ll be spending the night because we have so much to do to get everything lined up!”

“Guess that would work for awhile!  Sarah, thanks for lending your ear.  I didn’t know Rachel or Lou well enough to try and talk about this.  I wish I had met you sooner!”

Sarah smiled and gave her a hug.  “Hopefully we’ll know one another for a long time!  I know that Buck won’t be happy if you decide to move on once you get your memory back.”

“I won’t be happy either!  I know I’m not a married woman, but I hope that I’m not promised to someone.  I think I could love Buck Cross very easily.  I would hate to think of telling him goodbye!”

“Worry about that when the time comes.  I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason.  You and Buck were thrown together; it had to be fate!  I’m sure it will work out.”


Nearly a month and a half had passed since Grey Eyes had come to Rock Creek.  A lot of her memory had returned.  She was a little worried that she might never know who she was again!

The one thing that had come to her was the fact that she was very much in love with Buck Cross.  They spent all the time that they could together.  Most of the town’s people knew who she was.  Teaspoon had introduced her around, and she had been attending church with him and Rachel.  They seemed sympathetic to her situation, but they were a bit stand offish about her relationship with Buck.  She wasn’t going to let it bother her though.  She was where she wanted to be, and no one in that town was going to tell her that she couldn’t be there!

It was Saturday night.  There was a weekly dance in town, and most of the riders went.  Teaspoon was always there to help keep the peace.  But there usually was no trouble.  Sarah and Jimmy were there, as well as Buck and Grey Eyes.

She was dancing in Buck’s arms.  It had been several nights since they had been together, and tonight they were planning to stay at Sarah’s in her extra bedroom.  They did that as often as they dared.  She was sure that both Rachel and Teaspoon knew what was going on, though they had never mentioned anything to them.  Other than the time they spent at Sarah’s, Buck slipped into her room several times a week.  They would talk half the night away, making plans that neither of them knew if they would be able to live out.  The other half was spent loving what was left of the night away.

Buck knew that he didn’t want any other woman.  Grey Eyes was his everything.  He had made a decision.  He was going to ask her to marry him.  It didn’t matter to him if she knew who she was or not.  All he knew was that he wanted her in his life forever.  He was so afraid that she was going to walk out of his life and he would never see her again.  It was selfish he knew, but every day he prayed to his spirits that she wouldn’t remember...that she wouldn’t remember and leave him!

Looking down into her upturned face, Buck kissed her softly.  “I love you Grey Eyes.”

Her eyes had been closed and she had been enjoying the feel of his arms holding her tightly against his body.  At his words, her eyes flew open.  Had she heard him right?  With her questionable look, he smiled.  “Oh yes, I love you!  I love every little thing about you!”

She reached up and caressed his cheek.  “I love you also Buck.”  Her heart was soaring.  She was right where she belonged and she never wanted to leave it!





Weeks had passed, and Ben was beginning to get disheartened.  He knew that Melissa was still alive, but he couldn’t seem to find her.  None of the Indian tribes could seem to find her either.  He felt that they were being honest with him.  His sons were afraid that someone might be hiding her among the Indian tribes, but Ben didn’t think so.  He was nearing his wits end when Sheriff Coffey suggested that they wire a message to all the sheriff and marshal offices where the stage would have passed through, giving a description of Melissa.  Perhaps someone had seen her, or knew of her where abouts.  It sounded like a wonderful idea to Ben.  Wondering why he hadn’t thought of it himself, he quickly hurried to the telegraph office to do just that.

“If we don’t get any response from this, there is nothing left to do.  I’ve gone down every road I know.

Hoss stood beside him on the sidewalk in front of the Virginia City Telegraph Office.  He knew that he was hurting, heck they all were.  He didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t know if Melissa were alive or dead, but it would be a blessing just to know the answer, even if it wasn’t a good one.

“If’n no one has seen her after another week, I’m heading out that way!  If we travel the same route the stage was traveling, maybe, just maybe, we can find some clues to her where abouts!”

“I don’t know Hoss.  We may be searching in vain!”

“You was so positive that she’s still alive.  Have your feelings changed?” 

Ben looked up quickly.  “Oh no...she’s still alive.  I would know if she weren’t.  I just have no idea what to do next.”

“I’ll find her pa....if it takes me the rest of my life....I’ll find Lissa!”

Ben had a feeling that Hoss meant it.  He just wasn’t sure that the cattle ranch could survive without him there for the length of time that it might take to find his niece!

 
Grey Eyes was remembering things more quickly.  She knew that she was an only child and that she had lived in Boston with her parents.  She knew that they were both dead.  But she still couldn’t remember her name, or if she had relatives anywhere.  She sometime wondered if she were afraid to remember.  Afraid that if she remembered that it would put an end to her relationship with Buck.  She was so happy being with him.  What if her mind were pushing those memories away so that she could stay with the man that she had fallen in love with?  She just felt so uneasy about it.  She knew that there was someone out there looking for her, but she had no idea whom.  She could feel their worry over her!

It was mid day when Teaspoon received a wire from the telegraph office about a missing woman.  The description that they gave sounded as if they were looking at Grey Eyes when they had written it.  He had a feeling that they had found Melissa Crawford.

Grey Eyes was coming back from Sarah’s when Teaspoon met her at the station.  Sarah’s wedding was almost upon them.  It was lunchtime, but Teaspoon had other things on his mind.

“Grey Eyes, can we talk fer a minute?”

She noted that he had a serious expression on his face, and she wondered what was wrong.  She hoped that Buck was okay.  He had left early that morning on a run.  She had a worried feeling in the pit of her stomach.  “Sure Teaspoon.  Something wrong?  You look worried.  Is Buck okay?”
“As far as I know.  This isn’t about Buck.  I think it’s about you!”  He motioned for her to sit down in the swing and he sat down beside her.  “Does the name Ben Cartwright mean anything to you?”

She was silent for several seconds.  He could tell that she was thinking about the name.  Suddenly he saw her entire face light up.  “Uncle Ben?  He’s my uncle!  Ben Cartwright is my uncle!  He has three sons...Adam, Hoss and Little Joe.  I was traveling on the stage to Virginia City to stay with them!  My name is Melissa Crawford.......I remember who I am!!  I’m Melissa Crawford!”  She jumped up and was hugging Teaspoon in joy.  “Oh Teaspoon, I remember!”

Rachel came out onto the porch when she heard the shots of joy.  “What’s going on out here?” Melissa turned and gave her a hug as well.

“Rachel, meet Melissa Crawford!”

Surprised, Rachel looked at a beaming Grey Eyes.  “You remember who you are?  That’s wonderful!”

“I’ve got to go tell Sarah!  I’ll be back soon!”  She started off the porch, then turned back to give both Teaspoon and Rachel another hug.  “Thank you!”  Then she was gone, running through town to the little school.

Rachel watched her go, then turned to Teaspoon.  What triggered her memory?”

“I got a wire this morning from Virginia City from the sheriff there.  Seems that a cattle rancher by the name of Ben Cartwright has been searching for his niece since we learned of the stage attack.  When I read the description of her, I knew it had to be Grey Eyes.  I’ve heard of this man.  He’s very wealthy!”

“How wonderful for her.  I’m glad that she knows who she is.  Our mystery is solved.  I can imagine what a relief it will be for Mr. Cartwright to hear that she is alive and well!”
                       
“I’m shore it will be.  I should go and wire this Sheriff Coffey back and let him know.  I just hope for Buck’s sake that we don’t learn she’s married.  She ‘n Buck are already to deep to back out of this easily!”

“They will probably be on their way to get her as soon as they hear that she’s here.  Wonder what this will do to their relationship?”

“Ain’t got no way a knowin’!  I jist wonder what they’s gonna think about their niece keeping company with Buck?  You know how most folks feels about him.”

“It will work out Teaspoon..the way its’ supposed to.”  Rachel gave his shoulders a hug.  She wished that she felt as positive as her voice sounded!

Sarah saw her friend slip in the back of the schoolhouse.  She could tell that she was excited about something by the way that she was acting.  She couldn’t seem to stand still.  It was almost time for recess, so Sarah dismissed the children for a little while.  Grey Eyes quickly hurried up to her.

“What’s wrong?  I can tell...you’re excited about something.”

“I remembered who I am!  I know my name!  I’m Melissa Crawford!”

Sarah hugged her near.  “That’s wonderful!  Did you just remember all of a sudden?”

“Teaspoon got a wire from Virginia City.  Someone was hunting a young lady that had been missing.  The description sounded like me, and he came over to Rachel’s to ask if the name Ben Cartwright meant anything to me.  It took several seconds, but it triggered my memory.”

“Ben Cartwright?”  Sarah looked confused.

“He’s my uncle.  I was traveling to Virginia City to see him when the stage was attacked!”

“I’m so happy for you Grey Eyes...I mean Melissa!  I’m sure that your family will be glad to learn that you’re all right.”  Sarah hugged her again.

“It feels so good to know who I am again!  Where I came from...where I was going on that stage!”

“Will you stay here?  Or now that you know, will you be going on to Virginia City?”

Melissa frowned suddenly.  “I don’t know Sarah.  I was going to the Ponderosa, that’s the ranch that my uncle and his family owns, to stay for a while.  Since my parents are dead, there wasn’t really any reason for me to stay alone in Boston.  He invited me to come to the Ponderosa, perhaps even stay there.  I was sort of at loose ends.  I just didn’t know what I wanted to do.”

“Then there’s no one special in your life?”  Sarah was thinking of Buck and how it would crush him, if Melissa decided to leave.

She beamed.  “No...no one but Buck!  I at least need to let them know that I’m alive.  I’ll decide later on what to do.  I don’t want to leave Buck.”

“I know he doesn’t want you to go!  Besides, you have to at least stay for my wedding.  Thanksgiving is only a few days away.  Less than a week until Jimmy and I get married!”

“Of course I’ll be here for your wedding!  I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

Teaspoon sent a wire to Virginia City that afternoon.  When Sheriff Coffey received it, he rushed out of his office and hurried to the Ponderosa.  Ben and the boys had just come in off the range.

“Pa, its Sheriff Coffey.  He seems to be in a mighty big hurry!”  Little Joe shaded his eyes, and he watched Roy ride in and nearly jump off his horse.

“Roy, what has you in such a tizzy?”  Ben caught hold of his horses’ reins and held him still as he looked towards his friend.  There was a big smile on his face.

“Got news Ben!”

“Bout Lissa?”  Hoss was standing only a few inches from his Pa.

“Shore is!  Seems she’s in Rock Creek.”  He handed the wire to Ben and he quickly scanned the words.

“If she’s in Rock Creek, why ain’t she wired us a fore now?”  Hoss looked his pa’s way.

“She is alrite ain’t she?”  Joe looked worried.

“You know this Marshal Hunter?”  Ben asked as he still scanned the page.

“Yeah, we’ve met.  He’s a real honest fellow.  I’m shore they’ve taken real good care of her.  No need to worry none there.  He also heads up the Pony Express station there.  Does a right fair job at it so I’m told.”

“Pa, what’s going on?”  Hoss tried to wait patiently as his father read the wire.

“Seems that Melissa was hurt during the attack on the stage.  She didn’t remember who she was until Marshal Hunter asked her if she knew us.  That’s why we hadn’t heard from her.  She didn’t know where she was from.”

“But she’s alrite now?”

“According to this wire, she is.”

“Then we need to go bring her back!”

“That we do!  We leave in the morning!  First light!”  Ben was beaming from ear to ear.  He knew all along in his heart that she was alive.

“Ben, I know you want to rush off to Rock Creek, but are you forgettin’ bout the Cattlemen’s Association meeting Wednesday nite?  You being the president and all, don’t you need to be here?  I thought this was a big, important meeting.  You decide who transports the cattle in the Spring.”

Ben sighed.  Roy was right.  “Guess I’ll have to send Hoss and Joe after her.  You’re right.  I can’t miss that meeting!  Boys, get your gear together.  I’m counting on you two to bring back our family!”

Hoss let out a “Yahoo!”  As he and Joe quickly hurried to the house.  He couldn’t wait to see her again!

“Roy, I’ll ride back into town with you.  I need to send this Marshal Hunter a wire to let him know that we’ll be on our way in the morning.  Take about a week for the boys to get there.”

“Alrite Ben.  I’m shore glad she’s alrite!!”

“Me too Roy....me too!!”



Melissa was on pins and needles, waiting for Buck to get back from his run.  All the other riders knew that she had gotten her memory back, and they seemed to be happy for her.  They couldn’t believe how lucky she was to be a member of a family like the Cartwrights.  Cody was the only rider that still had family left.  The others envied her.  A few of them had even heard of the Cartwrights and their spread. 

Buck came riding in around sundown.  He was worn out.  He’d delivered his mail, and had started back within just a few hours of arriving there.  He wanted to be with Grey Eye.  Rachel was ringing the dinner bell as he came to a skidding halt in front of her house.

“Buck, you’re back.  Have a good ride son?”  Teaspoon had stepped off the porch to take hold of his horses’ reins.

“No problems Teaspoon.”

“Buck!” 

Teaspoon and Buck both looked up to see Grey Eyes come flying out of the door.  “I’m so glad you’re back!”

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly.  He smiled and gave her a hug, whispering “I shore missed you!”


“Now none a that!”  Teaspoon reached near and gently pulled her from Buck’s arms.  You two ain’t been properly introduced!”

Buck looked towards Teaspoon wondering what he was talking about.  “You shouldn’t be kissing on someone like that you ain’t even met yet!”  Teaspoon was grinning their way.

“Teaspoon, what are you yapping about?”

“Son, this here is Melissa Crawford.  You’s ain’t met her yet!”

Unbelieving, Buck looked from one to the other.  She knew who she was?  She’d gotten her memory back?  She smiled his way and nodded her head.

“I remembered yesterday.”

“How?”

“Seems Miss Melissa here is the niece of a Mr. Ben Cartwright from near Virginia City.  They sent out a wire with a description of a young woman that they were searching for.  I thought the description fit our “Grey Eyes” here, so I confronted her about it.  The name triggered her memory!”

Buck reached to pull her near.  “That’s wonderful!  So your name is Melissa?”  He looked at her closely.  It fit.

She nodded, snuggled closer, then whispered in his ear..”But you can still call me Grey Eyes....my Running Buck!”

He smiled.  He loved this woman so much.

“I’ll take care of your horse.  You go get cleaned up Buck.  Supper is on the table!”

“Thanks Teaspoon.”  He reached for Melissa’s hand, and she hurried with him towards the bunkhouse.


Later on that evening, Buck and Melissa finally had a chance to sit down and talk. 

“I’m glad you finally have your memory back....but I have to confess something.”

Melissa looked his way.  She wondered what he had kept from her.

“I know this is selfish, and I shouldn’t have done it, but I was praying that it wouldn’t return.  I was afraid that you would leave me when you remembered who you were!”

Melissa smiled as she reached out to clasp his hand.  “I understand Buck.  I was a little afraid that I was deliberately not remembering because I was so happy here with you and the way things were.”

“Do I have to worry that you’ll still leave me?”

“Buck, I love you very much.  There is no one in my life...with the exception of my Uncle and his three sons.  Teaspoon got a wire this afternoon that they were on their way here.  I don’t want to go back with them and leave you.  I guess I cross that bridge when my Uncle Ben arrives.”

“When does he expect them to arrive?”

“About a week.  Probably a day or so after Sarah and Jimmy’s wedding.”

“Then we have a little time left together.”

“Buck you say it as if we won’t be together after they arrive.”  She looked hurt.

“Melissa, I love you just as much.  But I can’t say what the future holds.  Your uncle mite not take too kindly to your seein’ me!  You know how the folks a this here town treat me!”

“But Uncle Ben would never do that, Buck!  He isn’t that kind of man!”

“We’ll just have to wait and see.”


Thanksgiving came and went.  It was a beautiful day.  Cloudless sky, winter sun shinning.  The food was good, as well as the family time spent together.  Melissa kept watching Buck.  He seemed to be acting rather strange all of a sudden around her.  She didn’t know what the problem was.

Sarah and Jimmy’s wedding was so very beautiful.  Melissa had spent the night with her so that she could help get her together the next morning.  They were to be married at the little church in town.  Teaspoon would officiate at the service.  All of the riders were dressed in their Sunday best as they filed into the church to witness the sealing of the vows between two of their very best friends.  Melissa could tell that both Sarah and Jimmy were very happy.  Very much in love.  She wondered as she glanced towards Buck if they would ever get to this point in their relationship. 

Sarah made sure that she spent a few minutes alone with Melissa before she and Jimmy left for St. Joe.  They would be gone for a few weeks, for some alone time together.  Rachel would be filling in as teacher while Sarah was away.


“I want to thank you for all the help you gave me getting this wedding together!  I could have never done it without you!”  She smiled as she hugged her close.

“And I never could have gotten through those first weeks here without your friendship.  Thank you Sarah.”

“Will you be here when I get back?”

“I’m planning to be.  The only way that I wouldn’t be, is if Buck should send me away!”

“Well, I know he isn’t going to do that.  The man loves you!”

Buck had been standing near the ladies.  He wasn’t ease dropping, but they were talking loud enough for him to over hear.  He didn’t want to send her away.  But that might be the answer to his problem. 

Ever since he had started learning things about Melissa’s family in Virginia City, he had been worried.  The Cartwright’s were very wealthy people.  They owned a cattle ranch that covered thousands of acres.  What did he have, Pony Express rider, half-breed, Buck Cross, that she could want?  He had no money, no land; no ranch....there was nothing.  Besides, what kind of life would she lead being tied to him?  The town’s people were already talking about her behind her back.  If she went with her family, she wouldn’t have to worry about not fitting in!  He knew that there was no way that he could give Melissa the things that her family could give her.  He didn’t want to give her up, but he didn’t know what to do about the situation.  He was hurting, and he knew that he had to make a decision about their relationship before the Cartwright’s arrived.  Maybe what Melissa had said was the only way....if he sent her away.  But could he do that?  When he’d been coming back from his last run, before he knew that she had gotten her memory back, he’d been trying to decide when would be the best time to ask her to marry him!  Now he couldn’t ask her!

 Later that evening, Teaspoon found Buck out by the horse corral, looking out over the mountains.  For the last few days, Buck had been picking him for information about Melissa’s family in Virginia City.  Teaspoon wasn’t sure what was going on in his head, but he knew that it couldn’t be good.  His actions around Melissa were changing also.

“Son, is you alrite?”

“No Teaspoon, I ain’t.”

“Wants to talk bout it?”

“I ain’t shore what I want to do.  All I’ve heard the last few days tells me that Melissa would be better off if she was to return to Virginia City with her kin.”



“What makes you say that son?  Ain’t you in love with her no more?”

“I love her more ‘n my own life Teaspoon!  That’s why I think it would be best if she was to go back with ‘em.”

“Son, this ain’t like you!  I know yous been in love with this little lady since you found her on that stage.  What would have made you change your mind so sudden like?”

Buck sighed.  “I cain’t give her what them Cartwrights can Teaspoon!  I ain’t got no money, I ain’t got no land to call my own that we could build a house on.....all I have is me!  An you knows as well as I do that the chances of this Mr. Cartwright approving of a relationship ‘tween her and me is slim and none!  Sides, the town’s folk are already talking about her hind her back!  She ain’t gonna have no life being tied to me!   She could have so much more in Virginia City.  All the money she can spend and all them eligible men courtin’ her!”

“Now I knows you don’t really mean that!  You wouldn’t want them men courtin’ her!  She belongs to you!”

“Out here she does.  But back in Virginia City, she won’t!”

“Son, has you talked this over with her?  Knowin’ Miss Melissa as I think I does, she won’t care if you has anythin’ to give her. She loves you for you...and nothin’ else!  All the money in the world won’t matter none if she can be with you!  Plus she don’t care what them town folk have to say, behind her back or otherwise!”

“I don’t think so Teaspoon!  I got to see that she does what’s rite for her.  No matter what I want!”

“Son, you ain’t thinkin’ straight.  Don’t go hurtin’ her none!  She loves you.  Sides, you thought what this mite do to you?  You ain’t gonna be happy if you send her away!”

“Maybe not!  But I will at least know that I did what was best for her!”  He turned and walked away.

“Buck...Buck...don’t do this....”  Teaspoon watched him hurry to his horse and ride away.  He shook his head.  This was going to kill Melissa.  But he knew that Buck was hard headed.  Once he’d set his mind to something, there was no changing it!


The week was nearly over.  Melissa knew that Uncle Ben would be there soon.  She didn’t want to go back to the Ponderosa.  She didn’t want to leave her friends...and most importantly, she didn’t want to leave Buck.  But something was very wrong between them.  He wasn’t the man that she had fallen in love with.  He had changed so drastically.  Was it possible that this was a side of him that she just hadn’t seen?  She found that hard to believe.  But he readily picked fights with her over small things.  He always seemed to have something else that he needed to be doing when she asked if he would walk with her into town, or just take a ride so that they could be alone for awhile.  They hadn’t shared their love with one another in well over a week, and he never seemed to touch her.  He seemed to jump away from her if she got too close!  Fact was, he was beginning to ignore her!  The only time that he even noticed her was when they were sitting down with everyone at a meal!  She just didn’t understand.  She loved him so much.  Had she done something to him that would change his mind and feelings for her?  If she had, she had no idea what it might have been.  The least he could do, after everything that had gone on between them, was talk to her.

Lou watched the relationship that Buck and Melissa had, fall apart.  She had tried to talk to him, but he refused.  It wasn’t like him to be this way.  Sure Buck was the quiet type and kept things to himself....but he wasn’t usually nasty about it.  There was something going on that she didn’t understand.  He was hurting, she could see it in his eyes.  But if he wasn’t willing to talk about it, then she wouldn’t be able to get it out of him.  He was getting to be like Jimmy was in the beginning, before Sarah had come into his life and changed him.  Lou never thought that Buck would be like this.

Lou tried to comfort Melissa.  She had caught her crying one afternoon.  But she couldn’t tell her a thing.  Lou had a feeling that this was all stemming from the fact that Buck felt intimidated by the fact that Melissa’s family could offer her so much more than he could.  Maybe he was just putting up a front, trying to make Melissa think that he didn’t care for her any more.  But she knew that she couldn’t tell Melissa that.  She didn’t know if it were true or not, and she knew that if Melissa questioned him, that he would never talk to her about it.  She didn’t like seeing two people that she cared about, hurting.  But she had no idea what to do!


Buck had saddled his horse early, and rode out of town.  He’d planned to go visit his brother Red Bear.  He hoped that he could give him the wisdom that he needed to get through this situation.  Melissa had cornered him the night before out at the barn.  It had been so hard not to pull her into his arms and kiss all over her.  But he knew that if he did that, he would be lost.  All it would take was to pull her close and kiss her once more. He would never want to let her go.  But he knew that he was doing what was right for her.  He wasn’t good for anyone that lived in the white world.  He needed to be with his own kind.  Or so he had convinced himself.

Red Bear was standing in front of his teepee, awaiting Buck’s arrival.  One of the lookouts for the camp had alerted him that his brother was on the way.  A young brave rushed forward to take the reins of his horse, and Buck slipped to the ground and clasp his brother’s hand.

“It is good to see you Runnin’ Buck.  You look troubled.  What has happened?”

“I need to talk to you, my brother.  I need some advice from one wiser than I am.”


“Come then, let us go into my lodge and talk.”

It took only a little time for Buck to explain the problem to Red Bear.   “I know that I should never have fallen in love with this white woman.  I know that she should be with her own kind, but it is hard for me to turn her away.  Only a week ago, before she knew who she was, I was planning to ask her to be my woman....to marry me!”

“You are right.  You should be with one of your own, as she should be.  Why not stay here until she has gone?  There is one maiden that I would like for you to meet.  She is very beautiful, and it would be good if my brother could claim her as his own.  I have been telling you, my brother, that you should find someone here among your own people.  This way you both are accepted, with the white woman, she would not be fully accepted here, nor you in her world!”

Buck knew that what his brother said was true.  But he didn’t want to stay there.  Not yet, any way.  He had never felt as if he belonged in the Indian world.  Even though he felt more Indian than white.  If he were with one of his own people, he wouldn’t have to worry about the woman he loved being accepted.  She wouldn’t have to give up her heritage.

The woman he loved?  It was no use.  He loved Melissa.  It would take a long time to forget her.  He knew that she couldn’t be a part of the Indian world.  She would have to give up her white man’s ways.  Change everything that she had ever known, just to fit in.  Or endure being talked about behind her back in the white world if she made it clear that she was with him.  The town’s folk would never fully accept the fact that she had chosen him over a white man!

“I will meet this maiden that you speak of.  But I cain’t stay here.  I’ll come often to spend time with her.  Get to know her.  It will be hard, but I will forget the love that I have for this white woman!”

Red Bear patted him on the back.  “Singing Bird will soon make you forget that there was another in Runnin’ Buck’s heart!”

Red Bear had been right.  Singing Bird was very beautiful.  Buck had to admit that his heart skipped a beat at her beauty.  But he knew that it would take a long time before he felt comfortable with her, and didn’t feel as if he were betraying Melissa!



Wednesday afternoon, Teaspoon was in his office, when two strangers rode into town.  They were leading a third horse.  They stopped in front of his office and left their mounts tied to the hitching rail.

Teaspoon watched as they walked towards his office.  One of them was small in build.  He looked to be in his early twenties.  The other was only a little older, but was much larger in size. 

Teaspoon hoped that they weren’t there to cause trouble.  He would sure hate to come up against this brick wall in a fight!  He was afraid that he would never stand a chance at winning!


“Nice looking little town, ain’t it?”  Hoss looked over at his little brother.

“Seems to be.  Wonder where Melissa is living.”

“Think Roy said at the express station, if I recall correctly.”  Hoss stretched and looked towards the marshal’s office.  “Guess we should go introduce ourselves to the marshal.”

Teaspoon was still wondering what their business was in Rock Creek, when they came in his door.

“Good mornin’.  What can I do fer you two gents today?”  Teaspoon looked their way.

“Marshal Hunter?”

“I am.”

“We’re Joe and Hoss Cartwright.  We’re here to get our cousin, Melissa Crawford.”

Teaspoon let out a sigh of relief.  At least he didn’t have to worry none about them causing
problems in Rock Creek.  He smiled as he reached out to shake their hands.  “I’m very glad to make your acquaintance.  I thought Sheriff Coffey said your Pa was coming to pick her up.  Uh...Ben isn’t it?”

“He had a conflict, and had to stay in Virginia City.  But he sends his regards and wanted us to thank you whole heartedly for taking Melissa in and taking such good care a her.”

“Wasn’t a problem boys.  Melissa is a very sweet, young woman!”  He smiled their way.  “She’s been a joy to have with us.  Seems excited about your coming.  The station is just a little ways down the street here. I’m sure that you want to see her.  If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to her.”

Hoss and Little Joe followed Teaspoon out of the office and collected the horses.  Then they walked the short distance to the express station.  Melissa was hanging out the laundry when she heard voices.  Looking up, she felt a thrill go through her at the sight of Hoss and Little Joe.  She flew out from under the clothesline and rushed to their sides.  In seconds she was in Hoss’ arms, nearly knocking the hat from his head, as she enthusiastically gave him a hug.

“Oh Hoss, it’s so good to see you again!”  He gave her a bear hug, lifting her completely off the ground and swinging her around.  She kissed him soundly on the cheek.  After he had replaced her on the ground, she quickly went to hug Joe.

“It’s good to see you Lissa!  We thought you were dead!”  Joe looked her way.

“I would a been if one of the riders hadn’t found me after the stage was attacked.  And the others here have been so wonderful to me!  They’ve all become like family!”

Teaspoon smiled as she stepped over and gave him a hug.  He was going to hate seeing this little lady leave their midst.

“We’re jist glad you’re still alive and able to tell what happened.  Seems they said you forgot who you was!”  Hoss reached out to hug her again.  She smiled up into his eyes.  Teaspoon noticed how small she looked standing beside this giant of a man.  She seemed closer to him then she did Joe.  There seemed to be a special bond between them.

“I hit my head when I fell from the stage.  The doc said that triggered the memory loss.  But I’m fine now.  I’ve remembered everything!  Where’s Uncle Ben?”

“He couldn’t come.  He’s the president of the Cattlemen’s Association and there was a big, important meeting coming up that he had to be at.  So he sent us to see you safely back to the Ponderosa.  He’s anxious to see you.  Has all these things planned for you.  Will you be ready to travel in a few days?”

Melissa looked down at her hands for a moment.  She didn’t want to go...but after last night and the way that Buck had treated her, she didn’t think that he would miss her if she were to leave.  He had been gone all day.  She knew that Teaspoon would know where he was, but she didn’t want to ask.  “I guess so.”

Hoss didn’t miss the fact that she seemed sad.  He wondered what the problem was.  Teaspoon drew his attention away from her as he spoke up.  “There’s plenty of room here at the station if you’d like to spend the night.  Or the hotel in town is the best around.  It’s up to you gentlemen.  Regardless of your decision, we’ll expect you both here for supper tonight.  I’m sure that the riders would like to meet you.  Sides, Rachel and Melissa are wonderful cooks!”

Both Joe and Hoss looked towards Melissa.  She was doing the cooking at the station?  Melissa noted their surprised looks.  “Well, I had to do something to earn my keep.  After all they were good enough to take me in!”

“We tried to tell her that she didn’t need to do anythin’ but she wouldn’t hear of it!”

Hoss laughed.  “If I remember correctly, Lissa always was a hard headed little lady!”

“I am not Hoss!”

“Oh yes you are!  That’s why you and I never got along to well!”

“Weren’t that Joe.....you was jealous!!  Until Lissa came along....you was the baby a the family!”

Joe’s face flushed red, and Melissa laughed.  Slipping her arm through Joe’s, she smiled.  “It don’t matter none Little Joe, I still love you!”

They all laughed, and Teaspoon ushered them inside for something to drink and a late lunch.  He was sure that Rachel could come up with something for them.  It hadn’t been that long since they had eaten.


Melissa spent the afternoon catching up with Hoss and Little Joe.  They were both so glad to see her safe.  But Hoss could tell that something just wasn’t right with her.  Joe was off with Rachel.  He seemed to have taken a liking to her right off.  He and Melissa were sitting on the porch swing in the shade. 

“Lissa, I figured you’d be happier to see us.  Somethin’ ain’t right here.  What’s the problem?”

She looked out towards the yard and sighed.  “Nothing Hoss.  I guess with all that has happened in the last two months, and with Mama dieing, I just haven’t pulled everything together.  The attack on the stage was an experience that I never want to live through again.  I just feel like my life is in turmoil.  I guess once I finally reach the Ponderosa, I’ll feel like I belong some where again!”

Hoss leaned over and patted her hand.  “Your Ma was a beautiful woman.  I know you miss her.  But you’ll like living at the Ponderosa.  You’ve been there plenty.  You know what it’s like!”

“You’re right.  I’ll love it there as always.  Don’t worry no more about me.  I’ll be fine!”

She looked back out over the mountains, and sighed once again.  Hoss wanted to believe her.  He knew that her Ma dying was something that would take awhile to get over.  Even though it had already been awhile.  But he just had a feeling that there was something else bothering her.  She would talk to him about it in time.


Joe and Hoss had gone into town to acquire a room for the next couple of days.  Melissa rode with them, and went in to the Marshal’s office.  Teaspoon looked up when his door opened.  He wasn’t really surprised to find a sad faced looking Melissa standing there.

“Miss Melissa, is you alrite?”  He got up and walked over to her.  She looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment.  He hoped that she didn’t.  He’d never known what to do with a crying woman!

“No, Teaspoon, I’m not.  You got time to talk to me?”

“Of course Miss Melissa.  Come in.”

She made her way over to the stove, and warmed her hands.  It took several minutes before she could bring herself to say anything.  She had put off talking to Teaspoon about Buck.  But knew she wasn’t going to get her confused feelings straightened out until someone could shade some light on this.

“I know you’ve noticed that things aren’t the same between Buck and myself.”

He scratched his chin and seemed to be in thought.  “No, cain’t say as I have!”

Melissa seemed surprised by his words.  But Teaspoon didn’t think it was really his place to tell her what was happening with Buck.

“Teaspoon, I know you have.  It just isn’t the same between us any more!  I think everyone has noticed.”

Teaspoon sighed.  “Miss Melissa, this ain’t my business.”

“Maybe it isn’t Teaspoon.  But I have to talk to someone.  Sarah isn’t here, neither is Jimmy.  I feel close to those two, but since they aren’t available, I thought that I could talk this over with you and you might could tell me what was wrong.  You’ve known Buck a long time!”

“Rite, Miss Melissa, I have.  I’m not real shore what is going on.  But if I was a bettin’ man, I’d say it seems as though, Buck is afraid.”

“Afraid?  Of what?”

“Afraid of how the people a this here town treats you, talks behind your back.  I think he’s keeping his distance from you, trying to make them think that the two a yous ain’t seein’ one another no more!  Sides, they all know by now that you’ve gotten your memory back and belongs in a well to do family!”

“Teaspoon, I don’t care what these people think!  I love Buck Cross, and none of them are going to tell me that I can’t feel that way!”

“I knows that Miss Melissa.  But once Buck gets something set in his head, he ain’t likely to change his mind easily!”

“What am I to do Teaspoon?”

“Unless he wants to continue this here relationship with you, there ain’t much you can do ‘bout it.”

“So I’m supposed to just leave and go back with my family.  Act as if nothing has happened between us?  Teaspoon, he told me he loved me!  Did his feelings die so quickly for me?”

“Feelings don’t die over night.  I know from experience.  But if’n  he ain’t willin’ to talk it out, then you cain’t get him to change his mind.”

“He ignores me!  He won’t talk to me, unless we’re at the table when everyone else is around.  He seems to be leaving on his horse every time I look around!  Do you think he’s seeing someone else?”

“No, I wouldn’t think so!  Buck ain’t never been much of a ladies man...not like Cody!  None of the towns folk would let their daughters have anything to do with him!”

“I know Teaspoon, he’s told me how they’ve treated him in the past.  But I can’t leave Teaspoon.  Not like this!  I love him!”  A tear ran down her face, then another an another.”

“Ah, Miss Melissa don’t do that!”  Teaspoon moved over to stand beside her and pulled her close against his chest.  He felt he needed to comfort her, but this made him feel a might uncomfortable!

She cried for a few minutes in his arms, then she stepped back and wiped her face with the back of her hand.  “I’m sorry Teaspoon.  I promised myself that I wasn’t going to do that!”

“It’s alrite.  I wish I knew what to tell you that would change his mind.  But once Buck decides, there is no turning back.  He’s always been that way.  I guess the best thing to do, is be ready to leave when Hoss and Joe are ready.  They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Maybe there is some truth in there somewhere!  Maybe after you’ve gone, Buck will realize how much he cares about you!  If that ain’t what happens, I don’t recall anyone ever dying of a broken heart!”


Hoss and Joe seemed to make a fine impression on everyone.  The riders all seemed to have questions about the Ponderosa.  As he listened to them talk, Buck knew that he’d been right.  He had nothing to offer Melissa.  A new sadness filled him, as he glanced her way.  He was doing the right thing.  Melissa deserved more than he could ever give her.

Hoss didn’t miss the looks that Melissa threw Buck’s way.  He knew the looks that one had when they were in love.  She seemed so sad.  And if he were correct, Buck was equally as sad.  He wondered just how close the two of them had been before Melissa had gotten her memory back. It appeared that it might have been a serious thing.  But what had happened?  Buck seemed to be a fine person.  At least in his opinion.

The other riders had each tried to talk Buck out of what he had planned.  They couldn’t believe that he was just going to let Melissa ride out of his life.  Even Cody knew what it meant to find that perfect someone!  He hadn’t found her yet, but he had a feeling that Buck had, and here he was pushing her away.  What in the world was wrong with him?  If Ike were still living, Cody knew that he wouldn’t let Buck do this to Melissa.  But Ike wasn’t here, and Buck’s mind was made up!  There seemed to be no changing it.

Buck sat alone on the steps of the bunkhouse.  Things were going well between he and Singing Bird.  She was sweet and eager to please.  But she was nothing like Melissa.  Would he ever stop comparing?  He usually rode out to his brother’s village every other day.  It had been two days since Hoss and Joe had arrived.  He knew that they would be leaving soon. 

An oil lamp was carried into the room that Melissa was using at Rachel’s.  He hadn’t realized that he was sitting there gazing towards her room.  He sat still for several moments, watching the shadow of a figure move across the room....Melissa.  He knew it was her figure.  He knew every curve of that body!  He remembered the times that he had slipped into that very same room, and spent the night making love to her.  His heart was breaking.  In the morning, he was going to tell Teaspoon that he was going to visit his brother Red Bear until Melissa, Hoss and Joe were gone.  He knew that he would never be able to tell her good bye.


Melissa sat at the window after blowing out the lamp.  Her heart was heavy.  She’d been thinking about what Teaspoon had told her.  Maybe he was right.  Perhaps she should just go on to the Ponderosa with Hoss and Joe.  She could always hope and pray that Buck would come to his senses.  She just couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk to her about what had happened between them.  It was breaking her heart...and he didn’t seem to care!


The following morning, an hour or so before dawn, Buck did just as he’d planned.  He found Teaspoon on the porch of Rachel’s with a coffee cup in his hand.

“Son, yous up a mite early ain’t you?”

“Teaspoon, if’n you ain’t in need a me for a few days, I’m going to visit Red Bear.  When I come back, Melissa will be gone.”

“Yous shore this is what you want?”

“No, but it’s what has to be.”

“You ain’t even gonna tell her good-bye?”

“Nope...it’s for the best!”

“Buck ever thought what might be for the best, ain’t?”

“No Teaspoon....I know this is right.  You know where to find me if you need me for anything.” With that, he jumped on his horse and started out of the station yard.  Teaspoon shook his head as he watched him leave.

Melissa had been up for several hours.  Her thoughts were so troubled, she’d  not been able to sleep.  She knew that Hoss and Joe wanted to leave by mid morning, and what few things she possessed, were packed

She heard Buck and Teaspoon talking on the porch.  She dressed quickly, trying to get out to them before Buck rode off.  She knew that he’d saddled his horse and lead him from the barn.  Lately, her eyes sought him out, no matter where he was.  She knew that her time was limited here, and she was trying to memorize everything about him in case she never saw him again!  But she was too late!  When she rushed out to the porch, no one was there but Teaspoon.

“Whoa Miss Melissa!  Where you going in such an all fired hurry?”

“Buck....I wanted to talk to him.”

“I’m sorry Miss Melissa.  Buck’s already gone.  He won’t be back until you’ve gone.”  He watched her face fall.

“He wasn’t even going to tell me good-bye?”  Her bottom lip trembled as she looked out in the direction that he had gone.

“No, no he wasn’t.  I’m as sorry as I can be Miss Melissa, but he was determined to leave before anyone was up.”

Melissa looked as if she were going to cry.  Then a look of determination went across her features.  If he could be stubborn, then so could she!  “Where was he going Teaspoon?”

“I ain’t shore.”

“Teaspoon, stop trying to cover for him!  I know you know where he was headed.  You can either tell me, or I’ll go riding out of here like a bat outta hell, searching til I find him!  I’m going to have my say with him if it kills me!”

Teaspoon sighed. He had a feeling that she wasn’t going to be put off this time. “Miss Melissa, he was going to see his brother Red Bear at his village.  You cain’t go all that way by yourself!”

“Watch me!”  Those were her last words as she rushed towards the barn and quickly saddled a horse.  She had no idea where she was going, but she would find him!

Teaspoon hurried after her. “Miss Melissa wait...you have no idea where the village is!”

“I’ll find it Teaspoon!” He was blocking the doorway of the barn, holding the reins of her horse.  He couldn’t just let her out of there not knowing where she was going!

He didn’t seem to have a mind to move out of her way.  He seemed to be in deep thought.  “Teaspoon you’re holding me up.  Every minute that you stand there, Buck is riding further away from me!  Unless you are planning to go with me.....GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY!”  She nearly screamed the last words at him. 

His mouth nearly dropped open, but it put him into action. “Give me ten minutes!”  He hurried out of her way, and saddled his own horse.  Then he stopped at Rachel’s once again to tell her where he was headed.  He left word with her also, to tell Hoss Cartwright what was going on.  Melissa seemed closer to him than Joe, and he knew that Hoss would understand that she needed a chance to confront Buck and say her good-byes.


Buck had been riding at a slower pace since leaving Rock Creek behind.  His brother’s village was only a few more miles from where he was now.  He wasn’t happy about the way he was doing this.  It wasn’t a very gentlemanly thing to do.  He knew that Melissa deserved better than what he could give her, but she also deserved an explanation for the way that he’d been treating her.  But he couldn’t tell her good-bye...he wasn’t that strong!


Melissa and Teaspoon made good time.  They neared the village about an hour after Buck had arrived.  Melissa had said very little on the trip.  She had just kept this determined look on her face.  Teaspoon wondered if she kept the look about her in order not to lose her nerve.  He had a feeling that she was beginning to feel foolish about coming out here!  But she would never admit that.

Melissa was beginning to wonder what she was doing!  Going into an Indian village, not knowing anyone, not knowing if she would even be allowed entrance, or even what she was going to say to Buck when she was finally face to face with him.  All the way there, tears had been threatening to spill down her face.  But she wasn’t going to let that happen.

They came upon a raise and stopped their horses, looking down into the valley.  The sun was beginning to climb into the sky and Melissa knew that she would never forget the beauty of the valley below, filled with tepees.  As long as she were alive, she would remember the majestic beauty.  It was then that a feeling of utter sadness filled her.  A different kind of sadness.  As she watching the village waking from it’s night of sleep, she knew that she would never fit into this world.  Perhaps, like Buck would never truly fit into the white man’s world.

Teaspoon, who was sitting beside her on the ridge, knew that the look out had spotted them.  Red Bear had come out of his teepee and stood gazing in their direction.  He and Red Bear were familiar with one another, and he watched as Red Bear raised his hand in greeting.  That let Teaspoon know that he would be allowed to enter the village.  Slowly he wound his way down into the valley, Melissa following behind.


Buck had arrived just as the sun had begun to make its assent into the sky.  He’d gone to Red Bear’s teepee, and they had spoken for several moments.

“You have returned again to the village so soon?  Is it possible that you and Singing Bird are becoming serious?”  Red Bear smiled at his brother.

“Now isn’t the time for us to become anything other than friends.  I’ve come back to the village to stay a few days, until the white woman has gone.  I couldn’t stay there and tell her good-bye!”

Red Bear looked closely at his brother.  Perhaps he had been wrong in pushing him towards Singing Bird so soon.  He could tell that Running Buck truly had feelings for this white woman.  “Then take the time that you need.  Your teepee is awaiting you.”

“Thank you my brother!”

Buck went to the edge of the village where his teepee sat.  It was always there, waiting for him to use.  Red Bear had never given up the hope that he would one day live among their people again. 

He built a fire in the pit and was about to lie down on the sleeping furs, when a soft voice called out to him.



Red Bear greeted Teaspoon with a handclasp.  Then his eyes shifted to the white woman by his side.  Without being told, Red Bear knew that this was the woman that his brother was in love with.  He could see why!  She had beautiful auburn hair, the color of an autumn sunset.  And grey eyes.  She appeared very nervous as her eyes seemed to scan the village.  He was sure that she was searching for Buck.

“Red Bear, good to see you ‘gain!”  Teaspoon smiled his way.

“The same with you Teaspoon Hunter.  What can I do for you?”  Teaspoon wasn’t surprised that he was ignoring Melissa. 

“This here young woman would like to see Buck.  He told me of his plans to come here this morning.”

Red Bear glanced at her again.  She could feel his eyes scrutinizing her.  She felt very
uncomfortable under his gaze.  “He is here.  But what is the point of seeing him again.  He has let his wants be known to me.  He doesn’t want to tell her good-bye!”

Melissa looked down.  Had she been totally wrong in coming here?  She needed to see Buck again, even if he didn’t want to tell her farewell.

“Told me the same thing, Red Bear.  But she was determined to come.  She would a done it by herself if I hadn’t agreed to come ‘long.”

Red Bear realized that the white woman had courage.  If she were leaving, what harm would there be in letting her see Running Buck once again.  All would be well once she was out of his life.  Soon Running Buck would be back with the village where he belonged.  Her eyes met his.  She carried a great sadness.   

“Running Buck is in his teepee at the far end of the village.  Come, I will take you.”  He looked towards Teaspoon.  “Go inside my lodge.  I will return soon and we can sit and talk.”

Teaspoon nodded and turned to help Melissa from her horse.  She looked up at him, and he smiled, letting her know that he trusted Red Bear.  She followed him, and Teaspoon stood for a moment and watched as they walked towards the edge of the village.

Melissa didn’t like the feelings that she was getting from the others.  They were openly staring at her as she and Red Bear walked by.  She wasn’t sure, but she thought some of the looks held hatred.  She shivered slightly. 

Red Bear had sent word to Singing Bird that Running Buck was back in the village.  He had hoped that she would go to him and take his mind off the white woman.  Hopefully she was there already.  He smiled slightly to himself.  Perhaps this wasn’t the way to go about it, but the white woman had to learn she meant nothing to Running Buck, or she might not leave his life.



Singing Bird had been ecstatic when she had learned that Running Buck was back in the village.   Red Bear had told her there was another woman in Running Buck’s life, but that he was trying to forget her.  She wanted to be the one who made him forget.  She had always had a special place in her heart for Running Buck.


At the sound of the soft voice, Buck had stepped to the entrance of the teepee.  He knew that the voice belonged to Singing Bird.  She didn’t know the English language, so he spoke to her in Kiowa.

“Enter Singing Bird!”

She smiled shyly at Buck as she walked inside.  “Good Morning Running Buck.  Your brother Red Bear told me that you were here.  Is there anything that I can get for you?  Food perhaps?”
 
He smiled.  She was a beautiful maiden.  He knew that she desired him.  He had seen it in her eyes.  “No Singing Bird.  I’m not hungry.  Right now I want to try and sleep.  I was up most of last night.”

“Then let me make you comfortable.”

She moved closer to him and started to unbutton his shirt.  She moved the vest that he wore down over his shoulders and it landed in the floor.  Stepping closer, she finished unbuttoning his shirt, and pulled it lose from his trousers.  Her hands lightly caressed his chest.

Buck’s insides were jumping.  Closing his eyes, he enjoyed her caresses, thinking of auburn hair and grey eyes.

“Running Buck, let me help you forget this other woman that tries to claim your heart.”

His eyes opened quickly.  He’d been dreaming of Melissa. It had been awhile since they had shared their love for one another, and he wanted her.  His arms had slipped around Singing Bird, as if it were Melissa he held.  He was a little startled to see Singing Bird standing in his arms.  Before he could say anything to her, she stepped a little closer and was just beginning to kiss him, her lips pressed lightly upon his, when the flap of the teepee lifted and Melissa was standing there.

“Running buck, there is someone who wishes to see you.”  Red Bear hadn’t let his presence be known. He smiled slightly as he saw what had been taking place inside the teepee.  He normally didn’t enter a teepee until he was granted permission to do so.

Melissa gasped at the sight before her eyes.  She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  Buck was in an embrace with a young Indian maiden.  Was this why he had been ignoring her?  Was he in love with this other woman?

He had accepted her kiss, but he wasn’t returning it.  At the sound of his brother’s voice, Buck had quickly disengaged himself from Singing Bird.  Looking over her head, he was startled to see Melissa standing there.  The look on her face was one that he knew he wouldn’t soon forget.  There were tears in her eyes, and she looked very hurt.

He hadn’t meant for this to happen.  He didn’t want to hurt Melissa any more than he already had!  How had she gotten there?  Had she followed him?  If so, how had she gained entrance to the village?

Glancing at Singing Bird, he saw a look of hatred in her eyes.  Melissa was returning the look. Buck started towards Melissa, but his brother’s voice caught his attention.  “She was brought here to see you.  I didn’t know Singing Bird was with you.”  There was a slight smile on Red Bear’s lips, and Buck had a feeling that his brother wasn’t telling the whole truth.  “I will leave you to your troubles!”  At that, he disappeared!

Singing Bird wasn’t about to leave.  She stood silently, watching the white woman.  She knew that this was her competition.  She didn’t understand the language, but she knew more or less what their conversation was about.

“Buck, how could you?  Is this why you’ve been treating me the way you have for the last few weeks?  I thought we had something wonderful between us!  I came here to tell you good-bye, and this is what I find?  I loved you Buck Cross!”

“Melissa, I didn’t want to tell you.  I’ve known Singing Bird for some time.  She’s one of my people!  I......”

“One of your people?  Buck, the only difference between you and I, you’re a man and I’m a woman!  There is no “your people” or “my people”!”

“Yes there are Melissa.  You live in the white world....and I live between the Indian world and the white man’s world!  I don’t belong in either!  I didn’t mean to hurt you!  It’s best that you go back to Virginia City with your family!”

“What of us Buck?  Does what we had not mean a thing to you?  You told me you loved me!”

“No Melissa...I was wrong....I don’t love you...I never did!”  His heart broke as he spoke the words.  They were all lies, but he could never tell her the truth! 

“Buck, how could you have lain with me, used me......”  Tears were running down her face.  He stepped closer, starting to embrace her, but Singing Bird stepped forward and slipped her arms around his waist.  She had a feeling if he touched the white woman, she would lose him.  He stopped at her touch and gazed down at her.  He didn’t love this woman, but he knew that he had to act as if he did in order for Melissa to leave.  He slowly slipped his arm around Singing Bird.

“Melissa, please go.  Your place is with the Cartwrights.”  He looked her way, and he knew the way she looked then, would haunt him for the rest of his life.  Her chin trembled, her eyes were already puffy from crying, and the looks of love that had once filled her eyes when they gazed at him, now held disbelief and hatred.

She stood for a moment longer, staring at the two of them.  The Indian maiden, Singing Bird, as he had called her, had her arms wrapped securely around Buck’s waist.  She had a look on her face that seemed to say, “He’s mine.....go away white woman!”

Turning quickly, Melissa rushed from the teepee and ran blindly back to where she had left Teaspoon.  She had to get away.


Teaspoon had been waiting for Red Bear in his teepee.  He had returned several moments later, and sat down by the fire, offering him food.

“This white woman...she is not good for my brother!”  Red Bear looked Teaspoon’s way.

“Red Bear, I knows that you and I have a difference of opinions on most everything....and this here one, ain’t no different!  But Miss Melissa is VERY good for your brother.  But I ain’t so shore if things will ever work out ‘tween ‘em!  She’s leavin’ today to return to Nevada with her family.”

“Then it is best if they do not see one another again.  Singing Bird will be much better for him.”  He took another mouthful of food from the bowl in his hands.

“Singing Bird?”  Teaspoon looked towards Red Bear.  “Who’s this here Singin’ Bird?”

“A maiden of my village that he has expressed an interest in.  They will be much better for one another.  She is one of his own kind!”

Suddenly, Teaspoon had a feeling that he understood a little better why Buck had made the decisions as he had.  Red Bear was interested in Buck’s returning to the village.  What better way to do it, then have him fall in love with a woman among the Indian people?

“Red Bear....I know Buck is your brother, but what you mite think is best for him, jist mite not be!  He needs to be able to make his own decisions....or he’s gonna be unhappy!”

Melissa reached the horses that had been left outside Red Bears teepee.  She quickly climbed into the saddle.  Teaspoon heard the horses restlessly moving about and got to his feet.  The words that he was about to say forgotten.  “Miss Melissa, is you alrite?”  He could see that she was crying and after glancing at him, she wheeled the horse around and slapped the reins across it’s neck.  It flew back the way they had come.  Not saying a word, Teaspoon was on his horse and quickly followed her.  Red Bear stood in front of the teepee for several more seconds....a smile covering his face.


Buck stood as if rooted to the spot after Melissa had gone.  Singing Bird was forgotten, until she moved against him.  “Come Buck.  Time to rest.  Let Singing Bird help you forget.”  He took her shoulders in his hands and moved her away from him.  She wasn’t that heavy and he easily lifted her.

“I do not wish to forget....please leave me Singing Bird.”

“But Buck, your brother wishes me to comfort you!”

“My brother has no idea what he wishes...now go!”  He said it sternly, and looking down, she quickly left the teepee.

Buck fell down onto the sleeping furs, and covered his eyes with his arm.  How had everything gone so wrong?  True, he had accomplished what he’d set out to do!  Melissa would soon be on her way back to Virginia City with her family where she belonged.  And he would never see her again!  But he knew that he would never love anyone as he loved her.  He had lied to her, hurt her so badly.  She would haunt his memory forever.

Singing Bird would welcome him into the village, as would all the others.  But it had all been a lie from the beginning, and he knew that he wouldn’t be happy here.  The spirit guides would punish him for what he’d done to Melissa.  He had a feeling that unhappiness would follow him from now on.  He would go back tomorrow.  He couldn’t stay here!


Hoss was up early.  He wondered if Melissa would be ready to leave by lunch.  He went in search of her at the station.  Rachel was fixing a pot of coffee when he knocked on the door.

“Mornin’ Miss Rachel.  Is Melissa up yet?”  Hoss was turning his hat in his hands, and Rachel could tell that he was worried about something.

“As a matter of fact, Hoss, she’s been up for several hours.  She isn’t here.”

“Ain’t here?  Now where would she a gone off to?”

“Teaspoon took her to Red Bear’s village about two hours from here.”

“Dagnabit!  She knowed we needed to leave this afternoon.  Why’d she go there?  Red Bear?”  He hesitated a moment.  “Indian?”

“Buck’s half brother.”

“Buck....I see.  There’s something going on here I ain’t aware of.  You want to tell me?”

“Have a seat Hoss.  Teaspoon wanted to me explain it all to you.”  He did as she requested, and within a few short minutes, he knew what had taken place between Melissa and Buck Cross in the last few months.

“I knew there was somethin’ else going on with her.  She just weren’t ready to tell me, that’s all! Does he love her?  I don’t need to ask about her feelings.  I’ve already seed them!”

“I think he does.  From the first moment he saw her.  He took such good care of her.  She possibly would have died if Buck hadn’t found her.  But he’s a proud man, Hoss.  People in this here town treat him like dirt.  To them he’s a no good savage.  None of the families will let their daughters have anything to do with him.  He’s a loner.  When Melissa came along, his entire world changed.  She had no idea who she was, and they fell in love.  Then she remembered, and he knew that he didn’t have anything to offer her, so he decided the best thing to do was let her go.  I know it’s killing him.  Letting her walk away from him will be the hardest thing he’s ever done, with the exception of seeing his best friend Ike, die!”

“We ain’t the kind of people that lives in this here town.  My Pa is friends to everyone.  He helps the Indians near us in any way that he can.  He ain’t never put no man down for what he was.  It don’t matter none to him!  You need to tell Buck that.”

“I don’t know that it would do any good Hoss.  Once Buck has made up his mind, you usually don’t change it.  Like I said, he’s a proud man.  He’d rather be hurt himself, then see Melissa mistreated.  And that is what he’s afraid will happen if she were to stay here and let it be known that she was his woman.”

“Guess there ain’t nothin’ I can do bout it now.  But after we’ve gone, you be sure that he knows that he’s welcome at the Ponderosa.  I know I ain’t my Pa, but I know as shore as I’m sitting here, that he would say the same thing.  It ain’t gonna make no difference if’n he has anything...he’s welcome.  If he loves Melissa like you say he does, you make sure he changes his mind, and comes after her!”

“All I can do is try to persuade him Hoss.  I don’t know if it will work or not.”

“Then that’s all anyone can do Rachel.”

Rachel poured him another cup of coffee and sat some breakfast down in front of him.  She had been cooking while they were talking.  “Hoss, don’t tell Melissa...”

“Don’t worry none Rachel.  The secret is safe with me.  I’ll let her bring it up.”


It didn’t take Teaspoon long to catch up with Melissa.  Teaspoon reached out and pulled the reins of her horse from her hand.  Jerking hard, he controlled the horse and they came to a stop.  “Miss Melissa, you shouldn’t have oughta run off like that!  You could a been hurt!”

“I don’t care Teaspoon!  The earth can open up and swallow me for all I care!”

“Now Miss Melissa, don’t go talking like that!”

“Teaspoon you didn’t see her!  You didn’t see the two of them together like I did!  He’s in love with someone else!  Someone that fits in......someone from the village!”

Teaspoon sighed as he climbed down from his horse.  He reached up for her.  “Now Miss Melissa, what you seed, mite not a been the truth! Buck ain’t been visiting the village that often!  What makes you think there’s someone else?”

“Teaspoon, she was in his arms.....he was kissing her when I got there!”  She was nearly hysterical, talking loudly, and the tears were running down her face as if they would never stop!

“Miss Melissa, calm down.  I ain’t sure what is goin’ on, but I don’t think Buck is in love with anyone but you!”

“He told me he was wrong, that he had never loved me!  He used me Teaspoon! Used me!”

Her entire body was trembling, and Teaspoon pulled her close, letting her cry on his shoulder.  He shook his head.  Who ever Singing Bird was, he could guarantee that she was in love with Buck Cross....but he knew that Buck Cross wasn’t in love with her!  He’d seen the feelings...you didn’t turn them off over night.  Buck might have told Melissa that he didn’t love her, never had.  But it was all a lie!  Teaspoon had a feeling that Red Bear had sent Singing Bird to Buck as a way to comfort him.  Red Bear probably wanted Singing Bird in the middle.  It was a sure way to get Melissa gone and Buck back among his family.

“Miss Melissa, Buck didn’t use you.  He loves you!”

“Teaspoon, it’s over.  I’ve only been fooling myself!  He took advantage of me, and I let him!”

“Miss Melissa, don’t say them things.  Buck would never take advantage of you.  I know him better than that!”

“Then why’s he sending me away?  Why did he tell me he didn’t love me?  Why was Singing Bird in his arms and not me?”

“I cain’t answer them questions.  I wish I could!  I knows you’re hurt.  Best thing to do is, go back with Hoss and Joe.  I wish you could jist stay here with us.  But it would only make things worse.  Give things some time.  I’m shore Buck will come to his senses.”

“Teaspoon, he told me I didn’t fit in...like he didn’t fit in the white man’s world.  I think he’s going back to live with Red Bear.  Singing Bird fits in.”  She wiped her tears once more.

“But Miss Melissa, if’n Buck had wanted Singing Bird, or any other maiden there, he could have had her a long time ago.  It ain’t like he never visits his brother!”

She turned and gave the direction that the village was in, one last look.  Then she climbed back into the saddle.  She was heart broken, but she would live.  She felt like the things that Teaspoon was suggesting, would never come true.  Buck had made up his mind.  She would soon be forgotten. There wasn’t anything for her to do but go on with life.  She’d learned a lesson...the hard way.  She kneeded her horse in the side, and she started back towards Rock Creek.

Teaspoon stood for a moment watching her ride off.  He’d seen that determined look on her face once again when she’s climbed back into the saddle.  Even if Buck came to his senses...would she forgive him for hurting her?

Hoss and Joe were ready to leave when the two of them returned.  Everyone was there except Sarah, Jimmy, Buck and Cody.  They could all tell that she was upset, but her eyes were dry.  She gave them all hugs.  And she knew that she would miss them very much.  They had been her family for nearly two months. She’d written a note to Sarah and Jimmy telling them how to find her.  She hoped that they would come for a visit one day.  She left that with Rachel, whom she hugged for a long time.  Lastly, she turned to Teaspoon.

“I’ve cried enough on you.  I’ll try not to do it again today.  I’m gonna miss you.  Thanks for everything!”

Teaspoon watched as the tears welled up in her eyes.  He reached up and wiped one that ran down her cheek.  “We’ll all miss you.  Now don’t IOUs go forgotten’ us here in Rock Creek!”

She gave him another hug, then climbed back onto her horse.  Hoss and Joe said their good-byes and thanked them all once again.  Then they were off for the Ponderosa.



It took nearly a week to get back.  Joe didn’t know what was wrong with Melissa.  She wasn’t acting right.  When he asked questions, she gave him short answers and acted as if she didn’t want to talk.  So he left her alone.

Hoss watched her, worried.  He hadn’t asked what had taken place at Red Bear’s village.  But he had known that she had been very upset once they had returned.  He figured that she would talk about it when she felt that she could.  Sometimes you had to set things straight in your head before you could talk about them.



The following morning, after Melissa had been at the village, Buck confronted his brother. 

Singing Bird had returned to bring him food, but the two of them had not spoken.  She had a worried look on her face, but she wouldn’t approach Running Buck unless he approached her first.

Red Bear was sitting outside of his teepee in the weak sunshine.  At this time of year, it was usually more comfortable inside the teepee than outside.  But today the spirits were talking to him, and he felt the need to be outside.  He knew that his brother was troubled and would soon be there to speak with him.  He also knew that he wouldn’t be staying among the people.

“Red Bear.  We need to talk.”  Buck joined him in front of the teepee.

“What is it Running Buck.  Where is Singing Bird?  She should be with you.”

Buck sighed.  How did he tell his brother that he’d been wrong?  “I don’t know where she is.  I sent her away yesterday.  Just like I did the woman that I love!”

“Don’t say such.  You weren’t in love with the white woman.  She is weak.  Her tears proved that!”  His words were sarcastic.  Buck felt the anger roll up from his toes.

“Her tears were caused by both you and me, my brother.  You sent Singing Bird to my teepee, didn’t you?  She told me that you wished her to comfort me and make me forget Melissa!”

“I did.  What harm was there in that?  You had made it known to me that there was an interest there.”

“But, even knowing that you had sent her to me, you brought Melissa to the teepee, in hopes that Singing Bird was there.  In hopes that whatever Melissa saw would turn her away even quicker.”

Red Bear looked seriously at his brother.  He was upset.  “Yes Running Buck, I did all those things.  I thought that it would be better if you had a woman here among the people You would be happier here than in the white man’s world!”

“I caused Melissa undue tears.”

“But you wanted her to leave.  Go away with her own kind.  Is this not what you told me?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean to hurt her like that.  She found Singing Bird and I in an embrace.”

“That is good.  She knows that you have feelings for Singing Bird.”

“NO!  I do not have feelings for Singing Bird.  I am not staying here Red Bear.  I’m going back to the station.  I can’t be a part of this world.”

“But what of Singing Bird.  What the two of you have together?”

“We have nothing together.  Nothing has taken place between us.  She is available to anyone in the village.  I don’t love her.  Only one woman holds my heart.”

“But she is gone.”

“Yes, she is.  It is for the best.  But I’m not ready to love anyone.  I may never.”

“You would rather be lonely, than have someone like Singing Bird as a companion?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Singing Bird.  She is a lovely maiden.  There just isn’t enough room in my heart for her.  I hope that she will understand.  I didn’t mean to hurt her either!”

“What of her family?  They were already planning a wedding ceremony?”

“You tell them I’m sorry.  But I can’t join with their daughter.  She deserves better than me.  There is someone else in the village that is much more worthy than I am.  I wish her much happiness.”

With those words Buck got up to leave.  Red Bear rose as well.  “Running Buck...you will return to the white man’s world?”

“For now.  It’s where I belong for now.” 

Red Bear reached out to clasp his hand.  “Take care my brother.”

Buck jumped on his horse and road back toward Rock Creek.



They would be in Virginia City tomorrow.  Melissa was tired of riding a horse.  She was tired of sleeping on the ground.  And she was tired of feeling so lost and hurt.  Buck was never far from her mind.  And where there was Buck, there was the memory of Singing Bird being in his arms.

She had finished her meal, and Joe was cleaning up the pots and dishes.  Walking off towards the creek that they had camped near for the night, she watched the sun set.  Hoss gave her a few minutes and followed her.

He found her sitting on a rock, her knees pulled up under her chin, and a far away look in her eyes.  “Lissa, are you okay?”  He sat down beside her and slipped an arm around her shoulders.  In seconds, she was sitting in his lap, her arms around his neck, sobbing.  Like she’d done in all the years before when there was something troubling her.  Hoss had always been her rock.

“It’s alrite Lissa.  I’ll listen when you want to talk.”

Alittle later, she dried her eyes, and started spilling all the feelings that she had been holding inside.

“Hoss, I think you already know that there was something between Buck Cross and myself.”

“Yeah.  Rachel and I had a long talk the morning that you went to Red Bear’s village.  I hope you aren’t upset with her for it, but I knew something was wrong, and you weren’t of a mind to tell me what it was.”

“I’m sorry Hoss.  I just didn’t know what was happening.  When I got to the village, I found Buck with an Indian maiden.  He’d told me that he loved me.  And here he was holding another.”

“Sometimes we get ourselves into situations that it ain’t so easy to git out of!!”

“Hoss, he told me that he had been wrong.  That he’d never loved me when I confronted him.  She had a hold on him, like he belonged to her.  He kept telling me that he didn’t fit into the white man’s world.  That he and I were too different.  That the town’s people would never accept the fact that he and I were together.  That they would talk about me behind my back.  But that didn’t matter.”

“Melissa, you can’t change people’s minds.  There is so much hatred in the world because of the Indians.  They see Buck as Indian.  Maybe some day they will be accepted, but not now.  I’m sure that Buck was rite.  They would a talked about you.”

“But I didn’t care Hoss.  I loved him.  Spending the rest of my life with him was all I wanted.  Even before I remembered who I was.  I knew that it was right.  Then I found him with Singing Bird.  He broke my heart Hoss.”

“Lissa, sometimes we men can be awfully uncaring.  We think of only ourselves.  We don’t care who we hurt til we’ve already done it.  Then most times it’s too late to change things.  Buck seemed like an upstanding person.  I cain’t see him hurting you unless he felt he had a just cause to do it.”

“But the thing is Hoss, he broke my heart.  How do I live without the man that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with?  Everyone at the station said they’d never seen him so happy.  So why’d he do this to me?”

“Maybe he didn’t know what else to do.  He loved you, but he knew that he would never fit into the white world, and he knew that you would never fit into the Indian world.  Maybe calling it off with you was all he knew to do.  His brother probably pushed him towards Singing Bird.  I’m sure that he would like for Buck to come back to his Indian way of life.  If the truth be known, he’s probably still very much in love with you.  And it will take him just as long to get over you as it will for you to get over him!”

“I don’t now how to get over him Hoss!  We were making plans for a future together!  Now my entire world has been shattered!”

“I’ll tell you how you’ll get over him!  Pa will throw some of the biggest parties the Ponderosa has ever seen!  He’ll invite all the young men in the area, and you’ll be so busy, you won’t even think about some feller named Buck Cross!”

Melissa tried to smile, but it was no use.  She appreciated Hoss trying to cheer her up and make her feel better.  But it was no use.  A single tear ran down her face.  She dashed it away with the back of her hand.  “Maybe some day Hoss, but I have a feeling that a fellow named Buck Cross will be a part of my memory for a long time!”

He hugged her near for another minute, then left her alone with her thoughts.  Joe was sitting by the fire when he walked back into camp.

“She okay?  There just is something wrong with her.”

“Yeah, there is.  She’s in love with a fellow named Buck Cross, and he just sent her away!”

“Sent her away?”

“Yeah.  I think he was trying to do what he thought was best for her, but I’m sure it’s caused him as much misery as it has her!  And gosh darn it, I hate seeing her this way!”



The following day, Melissa put on a happy face as they rode into the Ponderosa.  Ben came rushing out of the house along with their cook Hop Sing to greet her.  She quickly jumped from her horse and rushed to his arms.  He couldn’t believe that he was actually holding her close!

“Oh it’s so good to see you Melissa!  I have to admit that there were times when I was unsure if I would ever see you again!”

“It’s good to be here Uncle Ben!  It’s been an adventure!  One I hope I never have to have again!”

He laughed as he greeted Joe and Hoss, then asked about their trip.  She hugged Hop Sing and he ushered her inside for something to eat.  It had been a long time since lunch.

As always they made her feel so at home.  The Ponderosa had been a favorite place of hers for as long as she could remember.  She tried to be happy and not spend all her time sitting and moping about Buck.  She rode the ranch with Hoss and Joe most days, and slowly his memory began to fade.

She had been there a little over three weeks.  Hoss had told Ben what had gone on between her and Buck Cross, the man that had found her.  He knew that Melissa was in love with a half-breed.  But that didn’t bother him.  To Ben Cartwright, every man deserved to make his place in the world.  No matter the color of his skin, or the amount of the money he had.  He hated to see her so lonely and sad, and he had considered holding a party for her.  But he wanted to give her a chance to settle in before he sprung something like that on her.  Besides, she was waiting on new dresses from the dressmaker in town.  They couldn’t have a party until she could be properly attired!  The house was once again complete.  Neither Hoss, Joe or Ben realized how much they had missed the sound of a woman’s laughter.


Back in Rock Creek, Teaspoon watched Buck nearly work himself to death to keep from thinking about Melissa.  He had tried to talk to him several times, to no avail.  There had to be a way to change his mind.  He didn’t want to see him leave, but if it meant he could be happy, and it meant that he could be with Melissa, then leaving Rock Creek would be the right thing to do.

Rachel was sitting at the table when Buck came in.  It was freezing outside and he was looking for some coffee to warm him up.  “Got any coffee?”

“Sure help yourself.”  She had received a letter from Melissa the day before and she was sitting there writing one back.  She had just started to mention Buck, when he had walked in.

“Got a letter from Melissa.  She seems to be doing fine.”  She didn’t miss the fact that Buck gripped the edge of the sink as he looked out of the window.  Maybe now was the time to tell him what Hoss had said.  She knew that he missed Melissa terribly.  He wasn’t getting over her.

“I’m glad.  She deserves better’n what I could a gave her.”

“Buck, that ain’t so!  Hoss told me it didn’t matter to them what a person had or what color his skin was.  He deserved a place in this world.  None of them would have put you down for being a half-breed, or for working for a living.  How do you think they got where they are today?  They nearly broke their backs making the Ponderosa.  They didn’t start out with anything either.”

“But Rachel, the way the town treats me, they would never have accepted the fact that I loved her or that she loved me!”

“Love her did you?”

He was silent a few moments and then his answer was a whisper.  “Yeah, I did....I still do!”

Teaspoon had slipped in and had stood beside Rachel listening.

“I was wrong in thinking that I could send her away and continue to live without her!  She took my heart, and I’ll never get it back!”

“Then why in tarnation don’t you git on that there horse out there, and go find her!  I’m willing to bet that she ain’t very happy without yous none neither!”

Buck turned to look at Teaspoon.  When he thought about it, about going after her, all these negative things came to mind.  “I cain’t do that Teaspoon.  I’m a nobody!  They’re wealthy!  Why would they want their family marrying up with someone that ain’t nothing?  That ain’t got nothing!”

“Buck, I’ve told you this over and over.  It ain’t gonna matter.  All they’ll see is how happy she is that you’re there.”

“If I go after her...how we gonna live?  You’ve told me and the others the Pony Express won’t last another year.  None a us will have jobs!  I cain’t support a wife and family with no job!”

“Son, yous forgot her family is wealthy?”

“No Teaspoon, I ain’t forgot!  That’s what started all this mess in the first place!”

“But son, they ain’t gonna send you on your merry way.  They’d help you all they could!”

“I ain’t accepting charity from no one!”

“Wouldn’t be charity.  Way I sees it, it would be what was legally her’s!  I’m shore her parents left her some money.  If not, then there’s plenty of land on that there ranch!  I knows they can always use the extra hands!  You’ve learned to take care of things around here, don’t see no reason why you cain’t handle ranchin’!”

Buck stood silently thinking about what Rachel and Teaspoon had said.  He knew that he was lonely.  He knew that he loved Melissa more than ever.  Having her leave had only proven that to him.  He had thought he was doing the right thing, but lately he’d been wondering about his sanity.  Was Teaspoon right? Could he handle ranching?  Would they accept him even though he didn’t have anything to offer Melissa except himself?  He guessed it was worth a try.  He couldn’t be any more miserable than he was without her! 

“But what if’n she decided that she don’t want nothing to do with me after I told her I didn’t love her!”

Teaspoon smiled.  “The way she left here, cryin’ after you?  It mite take a few minutes to convince her, but I don’t think it will take that long!  What you got to lose son?  Go see her.  We can spare you for awhile.  Jist keep us updated as to what’s goin’ on!”

Teaspoon watched the expressions go across his face.  He knew the exact moment that Buck decided he would do it!

“I ain’t puttin’ you in a bind if I go?”

“Git packed son!  We’ll live!”

“Alrite!  I’ll leave in the mornin’!  Got to finish that fence I was working on!”

“Oh no you ain’t!  We can do that!  You’ve worked enough the last month to keep us worry free!  Now git!”

Buck grinned.  He stepped over to Teaspoon and for a moment just stood there.  Then they were hugging one another.  “Thanks!”

“No problem.  I wants to see all my boys happy!  I only gots three more to go!  Then I can dies a happy man!”

“You can’t die any time soon Teaspoon!”  Rachel looked his way, a big smile on her face.  You’ve got to find wife number 7!”

They all laughed as Buck left the house nearly at a run!





It was early morning.  Melissa had been up for several hours.  She hadn’t been feeling very good for several days.  Early morning was the worst.  This morning it had been really bad.  It was almost time for breakfast, and she wasn’t sure if she could go down and join the others or not.  She had a terrible feeling that if she smelled food, she wasn’t going to promise what might happen!  Hop Sing would probably think that she hated his cooking! 

A knock sounded on her door, and she got to her feet a little unsteadily.  When she opened it, Hoss was standing there with a big grin on his face.  “Mornin’ Lissa!  Ready to go down to breakfast?”

She just nodded her head.  Not trusting her voice to talk about food!  He extended his arm and they descended the stairs together.  Everyone was awaiting her arrival.  Hoss helped her to a chair and was soon seated to her left.  She said her good mornings, and Hop Sing hurried to bring in the food.

Hoss was a big eater, and Melissa was always amazed at what he put on his plate.  She watched as he piled it high with eggs, biscuits, ham and fried potatoes.  He offered her each item, but she turned them down.  The odor from his plate making her turn green around the edges.

“Aren’t you hungry this morning Lissa?”  Hoss asked as he worriedly looked her way.

She shook her head.  Ben and Joe were looking her way as well.  She could feel it coming.  She jumped up from the table and rushed from the room, through the front door.  She barely made it to the far end of the porch before she threw up over the railing.  This confirmed it...her worst fears!

All three of the men were on their feet in seconds, but Ben motioned for them to eat.  He needed to talk to Melissa alone.  He’d had a strong feeling about her for several days now.  He was pretty sure that his suspicions were right.

He found her still holding on to the railing.  He reached out to steady her.  For a moment she didn’t look at him, then she worriedly looked up into his eyes.

“How long have you known you were with child?”

She swallowed quickly.  How had he known?  “How....”  Another wave of nausea rolled through her stomach and she had to wait a second before she could finish her question.  “How did you know?”

“My dear, I’ve lived with three different wives, plus your mother.  I know the signs of pregnancy.  They’ve been all over you for nearly a week now.”

“I’ve had my suspicions for nearly three weeks.  But I was afraid to say anything.  I didn’t want to make a fool of myself if I weren’t, but I didn’t want you telling me to leave if I were!”

He smiled as he hugged her near, then helped her over to one of the rockers on the porch.  “I would never ask you to leave Melissa.  You’re my niece and I love you.  I’ll be here for you, always!”

Melissa reached for his hand and squeezed it.  “You can’t begin to know how much hearing those words comfort me.  I didn’t know what I would do, if you decided that I couldn’t stay here.  I don’t have anyone else to turn to!”

“What about the father of this child?  Hoss and Joe told me about the people in Rock Creek.  The ones that became your family while you were there.  Hoss also told me that there was a very special man......”  At his words, Melissa closed her eyes and was transported back to Rock Creek.  She could see Buck in her minds eye so clearly.  She missed him so much.  But her vision clouded and shattered as she saw him standing with Singing Bird in the Indian village.

“Uncle Ben, Buck Cross was, is still very special.  But he made it clear to me before I left, that he wasn’t in love with me.  I don’t think that he would be very understanding if he were to learn that I carried this child.”

Ben saw the pain go across her face.  He would talk about what he thought was the right thing to do later on.  Right now she needed to get used to the idea that she was soon going to be a mother.  “Things will be all right child.  Rest assured that you will be welcomed here as long as you wish to stay.  That goes for the child as well.”

“Thank you.”  There were tears in her eyes as she looked up into her Uncle’s face.  What would she do with out Ben Cartwright?

Just then, Hoss and Joe came out the front door, looking for them.  ‘Are you alrite Lissa?”  Hoss looked worried.

“Yeah, the way you ran out a there, we weren’t sure!”

“She’s fine.”  Ben smiled her way.  It was up to her when she told the others that she was going to have a child.

‘Are you sure?”

Melissa smiled.  “Positive.  Don’t spend any more time worried about me!  Did you eat all that food Hoss?  Or did you leave some for me?”

He smiled quickly as she stood up and threaded an arm through his.  She was feeling better, and knew that she needed to try and eat a little something.

“He didn’t leave much!  You know how he eats Melissa!”  Joe patted Hoss on the back.

“Now little brother, I don’t eat that much!”

“Oh yes you do Hoss!  I’ve been around many times when you fill up that plate!”  The three of them laughed together as they headed inside.

Ben shook his head as he watched them go.  It had been a long time since there was a child in the house.  He hoped that he could persuade Melissa to at least let Buck know that she would bare him a child.  Even if he didn’t acknowledge it, it was the right thing to do.  Though he found it hard to believe that any man would not acknowledge a child.  But then again, not all men held the love of their children as dear as he did his three sons!



Buck knew that there were several people that he had to tell good-bye.  If things went well, he might not be back to Rock Creek, or the Pony express any time soon.  His first stop was to see Jimmy and Sarah.  They had been back from their honeymoon for nearly a week.  Although they had been to the station to eat supper several times, Buck just hadn’t made the time to go over and visit.  He knew that their home would be a big reminder of Melissa.  He wasn’t sure that he could handle that.

Jimmy had just come in from feeding the horses in the barn when the knock sounded on their door.  It was terribly cold out that day, and he was spending as much time indoors by the fire as he could.  Outside chores could wait until it was a little warmer.  Sarah was fixing lunch in the kitchen. 

“Buck?  What ya doin’ out our way?”  Jimmy motioned him inside, and quickly closed the door against the winter chill.

“Wanted to stop by and tell you and Sarah good-bye.”

Sarah was walking from the kitchen with a tray in her hand when she heard his voice.  “Good-bye?  Where you going Buck?”

“Nevada.”

“Nevada?  What’s there?  Don’t sound as if this might be one a Teaspoon’s errands if’n yous tellin’ us good-bye!  Ain’t you comin’ back?”

“Ain’t shore.  Depends.”

“On what?”

Sarah had been watching Buck.  He was standing in the middle of the living room floor turning the hat in his hands.  She could tell there was something different about him.  The last time she’d seen him at the station, he hadn’t seemed very happy.  Suddenly it dawned on her.

“Nevada?  You’re going after Melissa, aren’t you!”  Sarah was holding her breath.  She knew that this was what Buck needed to do.  Those two belonged together!

Buck grinned.  “Yeah, I am!  But I ain’t shore what sort a reception I mite git from her!”

“It will all be all right!  Melissa loved you.  I’m sure it hasn’t been easy learning to live without something that you love.  At least something, as much as she loved you!”

“I jist hope she still feels that way after what I did to her.”

“You have to have faith Buck!  The two of you belong together!  Like Jimmy and I do!”  Sarah slipped an arm around her husband’s waist and leaned near to kiss his cheek.

Buck smiled.  He sure hoped that he and Melissa could be this close again.  “Well, I jist wanted to tell you what I was plannin’.  If’n she won’t forgive me, I’ll be back in a few weeks.  If’n things go alrite, it mite be awhile before we come back for a visit.  But I’ll be shore and let Teaspoon know what I plan!”

Sarah stepped near and hugged Buck.  “You take care Buck Cross.  I know it will all work out!  We best get an invitation to the wedding!”  She grinned as he blushed slightly.

“How you know there’s going to even be a weddin’?”

“I just know!  There will be!  Ride safe!”  Knowing that Jimmy would want to say his good-byes in private, Sarah went back into the kitchen to give them a few minutes alone.

Jimmy just stood there looking at Buck.  He didn’t rightly know what to say.  “We been through a lot together, you....me....the rest a the riders!  Lou and kid is married.  Now Sarah and I.....the Pony Express ain’t gonna be round much longer...then what?  Mite be best if you stay in Nevada once you and Melissa git things worked out!   Reckon they mite need another hand on the Ponderosa after the Pony Express folds?”

Jimmy was looking serious, so Buck knew that he wasn’t kidding around.  He was worried about what would happen once they were out of a job.  “I’d be willin’ to bet they do!  You willin’ to come to Nevada?”

“Would be.”

“Then I’ll let you know for shore!”  He stepped close and gave Jimmy a hug.  “Take care Hickok!”

“You too Buck!”


Buck rode towards his brother’s village.  He probably wouldn’t be as welcomed this time as he had been before because of his treatment of Singing Bird.  But he had done the right thing this time.  She belonged with someone else....not him.  Red Bear was standing in front of his teepee when Buck reined in his horse.

“It is good to see you again my brother.  Come in out of the cold.”  Red Bear motioned for someone to take his horse and they stepped into the warmth of the teepee.  “What has brought you to us again?  I wasn’t expecting to see you for a while.”

“I’ve come to say good-bye!”

“Good-bye?  You are leaving?”

“I’m going to Nevada.  I’m going after Melissa.”

“The white woman.”

Buck noticed that his brother wasn’t surprised by his words.  “Yes.  I know that I was wrong thinking that I could live without her.  She holds my heart, and unless we can be together, there is no reason for me to live.”

Red Bear was silent for a moment, thinking about Buck’s words.  Then he reached out and pulled him near in a hug.  “I will miss you, my brother.  But this is for the best.  I know that what I did with Singing Bird wasn’t right.  I should not have pushed her on you.  You weren’t ready.  I should have seen the love that you hold so dear for the white woman.  I know that it doesn’t matter what my feelings about her may be....if you love her, then you will be with her.  Our paths may not cross again.”

Buck felt tears spring to his eyes.  What Red Bear said was true.  “I will come back this way as often as I can.  If Melissa decided that she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life with me, then I will return.  Rock Creek is my home as I know it.”

“The white woman will not hesitate....she loved you as well!  Good luck to you my brother.  May the gods smile upon you and the spirits ride with you!”

They hugged again, and Buck was on his way back to the station.  He would miss Red Bear.  He would miss all of his family in Rock Creek.  But he knew deep in his heart that Melissa was the woman of his dreams.  She was the one that he would live with for the rest of his life!  She just had to forgive him!

The following morning, Buck stood on the steps of the bunkhouse, telling everyone farewell.  So many things had taken place there.  There were so many memories.  But they were memories that he would never forget. The riders were happy for him.  They knew that he and Melissa belong together.  This was right.  They also knew that they would see them again soon.  It wasn’t like this farewell was a forever thing!

Cody, Noah, Kid, Lou, and Rachel stood beside Teaspoon.  They watched Buck ride out.  Watching his form until they could no longer see it.  “He’s gonna be alrite!  I’s got faith in him!  I raised him rite!”  But Teaspoon sighed as he said the words.

“You raised him?”  Rachel sent him a look that said she wasn’t happy with his remark.

“Pardon me......we raised him rite!”  Teaspoon laughed.  Now I only have two more boys to see after.  Then I can sit back and relax!”

“You ain’t never gonna be able to relax Teaspoon.  After we’s all git hitched...we’ll all have you some grand babies to look after and follow you ‘round this here station!”  Cody grinned and Teaspoon groaned.  Though he knew that he would be honored to have grand babies around in his older years!  He hoped that at least one or two of the boys decided to stay in Rock Creek after the Pony Express was a thing of the past!


Buck rode a few miles out of Rock Creek and stopped.  He had one more person he had to say farewell to.  He stopped his horse and gazed at the place where they had taken Ike when he had died.  He missed his friend.  There had been no one that had even come close to taking Ike’s place.  He felt his spirit all around him as he silently listened.  He knew that he was telling him this was the right thing to do.  He was happy that Buck had found someone to love.  He sat for a few more minutes silently communicating with Ike’s spirit.  Then he said his farewell and headed for Nevada.

Melissa had her good days and bad days.  She had told Hoss that she was expecting a child, and he was never very far from her side.  She knew that when the day came and he found the right woman, she would never want for anything.

Uncle Ben was true to his word.  She felt very welcomed at the Ponderosa.  It was her home.  He had presented her with a cradle not long after her announcement.  He had made it with his own hands.  There was no doubt in her mind that Uncle Ben was thrilled there would soon be an addition at the ranch.

She was sitting on a bale of hay, in the weak sunshine, her eyes closed, daydreaming.  She seemed to do a lot of that lately.  Her dreams were wrapped around the child that she carried, but there were dreams of Buck there as well.  She had gotten a letter from Rachel, and she had told her that everyone was doing well.  She missed them all very much.  Perhaps one day, she would be able to go back and visit.  But that was years down the line.  She knew that she couldn’t go back there in the condition she was in now.  And she wasn’t sure if she would be able to take her child to visit once it had arrived.  She wasn’t sure how Buck would react.

She had thought so many times of telling Rachel her secret.  But she knew that Buck would find out if she did.  She didn’t want him coming to the Ponderosa because of a child.  If he were coming, she would want it to be because he loved her.  She didn’t want him to feel trapped.  But what was she wasting her time thinking on those lines for?  She wasn’t planning to tell him anything about the baby, and she wasn’t looking for him to show up any time soon!

Ben had been watching her from his spot on the porch.  There were so many emotions traveling across her face.  He knew that she was thinking about the babe that she carried and the father.  He could tell when Buck Cross was on her mind.  There was no doubt that she loved him.

He walked slowly over to where she sat, and nearly whispered her name, not wanting to startle her.  It was time that they talked about it.

“Melissa.....we need to talk.”

Surprised that he had been able to slip up on her with out her knowledge, she looked his way.  “I can tell it’s something serious by the look on your face.”  She patted the space on the bale beside her.

“I’ve been putting this off for some days now.  Letting you get used to the idea of being a mother.  It’s something that will change everything in your life.  I know that you don’t want Buck to know about the child, but I think you need to make a decision.  Even if he doesn’t want to claim the child, he should know that he’s to be a father.  It’s the only right thing to do.”

Melissa sighed.  “Uncle Ben, don’t you understand?  He told me that he didn’t love me, that he had never loved me.  He used me, then tossed me aside.  How could you think that he would be over joyed to learn that I carry his child?  Especially since he was already making plans with Singing Bird?”

“Do you now for sure that he was making plans with her?”

“They were in an embrace.  She was kissing him when I walked into that teepee.  When I left, she was in his arms again.  He wasn’t pushing her away.”

“Did you ever stop to think that he might not be in love with Singing Bird?”

“No, he told me that he’d known her for some time and that she was one of “his people”!”

“Melissa, I think you’ve got this all wrong.  I don’t think Buck was in love with Singing Bird.  I think he was doing this to make you think he was, so that you would leave and come back to the ponderosa with Hoss and Joe.”

“But if he didn’t love her, why would he have done this to me!  He told me he didn’t love me!  That he never had!”  Her lips were trembling and Ben hated to upset her. 

“I think that it was the only way that he knew for sure that you would leave.  If you thought that he didn’t love you, that if he loved another, you would come back here.”

“But why?  I don’t understand.”

“When he found out who your family was, I think he panicked.  We’re well known out here Melissa.  Most everyone in these here parts and around have heard of the Cartwrights and the Ponderosa.  Buck knew that he couldn’t compete with what was here.  With what was yours.”

“But Uncle Ben, this doesn’t belong to me!  It belongs to Adam, Hoss and Joe.”  She motioned to the area around her.  “Why would he think that?”

“I just think that he knew that we were well off and could give you just about anything that you desired.  He saw himself as not being able to give you anything.  He’s a pony express rider, a half-breed, someone that even the people in Rock Creek don’t approve of!  What would make him think that we would be any different?”

“But you are!  You aren’t like those people!  You’d never look down on him for what he is.  He would be an equal here.”

“But he didn’t know that.  And it would probably take awhile for him to believe it, since he’s never been treated that way before.  I think you need to give this serious thought and let him know about this child that the two of you have created.  Maybe he still won’t accept this, but at least you’ll know that you’ve told him.  He deserves to know.  It’s the right thing to do!  I’ve always lived by those rules Melissa.  Even Adam, Hoss and Joe will tell you.  They have always done what was right about a situation in the end.  They were raised that way...and you have been too!”

“I don’t know Uncle Ben.  I don’t know what to do!”

“Give it some thought.  You don’t have to make the decision today.”  He reached out to pat her hand.  “You’ll know what to do when the time is right.”



Buck had been traveling for nearly three days.  He was over half way to Nevada.  The days were cold, but the nights even colder.  He tried to spend the night in a town so that he could sleep inside.  Christmas was just around the corner.  Would he be there by then?  Would she be happy to see him?  He had turned that question around and around in his mind ever since he’d left Rock Creek.  He wouldn’t know the answer until he arrived.


Ben and the boys brought in a beautiful pine tree to decorate for Christmas.  Melissa tried to get into the spirit of things.  But it wasn’t that simple.  Ever since Uncle Ben had talked with her about Buck, things had been going through her mind.  What if he were right?  What if Buck wasn’t in love with Singing Bird?  What if it had all been a lie to make her leave and not look back?  But if that were true...then he had lied to her.  Could she forgive him for that?  And even if all this were the truth, did he want to know her secret?  Would he be a proud father?  Would he even care?

“Melissa, are you alrite?”  Hoss had seen her sit down on the hearth, near the open fire, watching as he and the others decorated the tree.  She held an ornament in her hand, forgotten.

“I’m not sure Hoss.  There is just so much going through my mind.  Something that Uncle Ben said to me.  It’s been bothering me ever since.”

“Wanta talk about it?  You know I’m a good listener.”

She smiled at his concern.  She loved this big man so much!  She took a deep breath.  Might as well get a second opinion.  “Do you think that Buck would be happy to learn about the baby?  Uncle Ben is asking me to at least let him know.  He said it was the right thing to do.  Even if he doesn’t care.”

“I agree, it would be the right thing.  But only if you want him to know.  I’m shore if you decide that you don’t want to tell him, Pa would understand.  It’s your decision.”

“I know.  There’s something else...”  She hesitated a moment.  Ben and Joe were laughing together as they decorated the top of the tree.  It was so tall that Joe had to get on a ladder to reach it.  “He told me that he thinks Buck wanted me to leave because he felt like he couldn’t give me what my family could.  That he just made me think that he was in love with Singing Bird so that I would leave.  He knew that he couldn’t offer me anything.  All he had was himself.  And he’d already told me that life wouldn’t be very pretty if I stayed there and the town’s people learned that I was his woman.”

Hoss studied her face for a few seconds.  So his Pa had finally told her in a round about way what Rachel had told him the morning they had left Rock Creek.  He had no reason to think Rachel would lie about it.  Who would know Buck better than the people he’d lived with at the station?  “Lissa...it’s true what he was feeling.  The morning that we left, when you had gone to the village with Teaspoon, Rachel told me how Buck felt.  He felt as if he had nothing to offer you and that if he couldn’t make a good life for you, then there was no reason for you to stay there.  I don’t know about Singing Bird.  She didn’t mention her.  I’d be willing to bet that he hadn’t known her that long and she was just a part of it.  A part of something that would make you want to leave even more!”

“I just don’t understand Hoss.  He never told me how he was feeling.  He just started treating me as if I didn’t exist!”

“He probably didn’t know what else to do!  Sometimes we men folk ain’t got the brains that God gave a cow!  We don’t do what we should.  We do something different and it makes the situation even worse!”

“Should I tell him Hoss?”

“Lissa, if I were in his shoes, I would want to know.  I think he was in love with you.  No matter what he might have told you! You have to remember that we say things we don’t mean when we get backed into a corner...and I would say that Buck was seeing himself backed into a corner he had no idea how to get out of!”

Melissa smiled slightly.  Reaching over, she gave his hand a squeeze.  “Thanks Hoss.  I love you!”


It was Christmas Day.  The ponderosa was filled with people.  Ben had decided to have a big party to introduce his niece.  He wasn’t worried about what people were going to think.  She wasn’t really showing her pregnancy yet, and no one would ask questions.  Melissa had come to him the night before, on Christmas Eve to let him know that she was ready to tell Buck about the baby.  Hoss had offered to go to Rock Creek himself and speak to Buck.  Ben wasn’t sure if that was the thing to do.  They would talk about it after Christmas was over.  He was just glad that she had decided to do the right thing.  Even if Buck didn’t accept it, she would know that she had let the father of her child know what was happening.


Buck rode into Virginia City near dusk.  He knew that it was Christmas, and he wasn’t sure if he could find anyone to tell him how to get to the Ponderosa.  He’d made good time.  There hadn’t been any snow to hinder his progress, but the low hanging clouds was telling the tale that they would soon dump snow into the valley.  He stopped his horse at the Sheriff’s office and hoped that someone would be there.

Roy Coffey had just finished eating his supper.  He was going to make another round through town and then head home to change clothes.  There was a party at the Ponderosa and he wasn’t planning to miss it.  The door of the office opened and Roy looked up.  Who would be out and about on Christmas?  Most everyone would be home with their families.

“Can I help you?”  Roy stood up and placed the napkin on the desk.

“I’m looking for the Ponderosa.  Could you tell me how to git there?”

The young man had taken off his hat and was standing there twisting it round and round in his hands.  He was dressed in suede pants and a heavy winter coat.  His hair was long, and straight.  His cheek bones high.  He wore an earring in this ear.  He was a half-breed.  Of that Roy was sure.

“You got business at the Ponderosa?”  He wasn’t going to tell him how to get there if he was planning to cause any problems!  Especially on Christmas.

“I’ve come to visit someone that’s staying there.  I’m Buck Cross.  I’m from Rock Creek.”

The name Rock Creek was what helped Roy make the connection.  This young man must be there to see Melissa.  “You know Teaspoon Hunter then?”  Roy watched for any sign of trouble.  He would be able to tell if he weren’t telling the truth.

“I do.  I ride for the pony express.  Teaspoon’s my boss.”

“Then you must be friends of Miss Crawford’s.  She was there for awhile.”

“That’s rite.  She’s the one I’ve come to see.”

“She know you’re comin’?”

“No.  I didn’t know til the last minute that I was going to make the trip.”

“I see.”

He seemed to be honest.  And if’n he worked for Teaspoon Hunter, he had to be a decent person.  His decision made, he motioned Buck towards the stove in the middle of the office.  “If you can wait another thirty minutes or so, I’ll be headed out that way myself.  I’ll be glad to show you the way.”

Buck smiled.  He’d been afraid that the Sheriff wasn’t going to believe him.  He’d seemed reluctant to tell him anything.  Maybe it was the fact that he knew Teaspoon.  “That would be wonderful.  I really appreciate it.  I’ve been on the road for a week now.  It’s a long ride from Rock Creek to here!”

Roy nodded.  “That’s what Hoss and Joe said when they got back with Melissa.  Well, make yourself to home.  I’m going over to change my clothes.  Be back shortly.”

Buck stepped closer to the stove and warmed his hands.  It felt good compared to the outside.  He wondered what the Sheriff was going to the Cartwrights for.  Of course this was Christmas.  Perhaps he was just going to express his best wishes for the holiday.  He wouldn’t worry about it.  He had agreed to take him along.

 
 

The day had been filled with last minute things for the party that night.  Melissa was finally feeling much better about things.  She had made her decision, and the funny thing was, the minute she had made it, it felt as if this big weight had been lifted from her shoulders!  Perhaps Uncle Ben had been right all along.  This was the right thing to do.  It would all work out as it was supposed to.

The guests began arriving around 4:30 in the afternoon.  Melissa was acting as hostess and she was enjoying meeting her Uncle’s friends.  She knew that she was planning to stay on the Ponderosa, and these people would be her friends as well.

There were a lot of young men there, and Melissa wondered if her Uncle had planned things that way.  She knew that he was thinking about her future, but she also knew that she was hoping against hope that Buck would accept things and they could be together as a family.  She pushed the thought aside as another knock sounded on the door.  The night was festive and full of good cheer.  She would worry about things later.  She put on her best smile.


Roy and Buck arrived at the Ponderosa about an hour after Buck had reached Virginia City.  He wasn’t surprised at the beauty of the place.  He found himself anxious to see it in daylight.  Every window in the house seemed to be lite, as they stepped down from their horses.  Buggies filled the yard.

“Looks as if there’s a big celebration going on here.”  Buck looked towards Roy and wondered if he was intruding on something he shouldn’t be.

“It’s Christmas.  Ben and the boys usually have a big party.  You’ll be welcomed, I’m sure.  And I’m positive Miss Melissa will be thrilled to see you.  Come on, let’s go inside.  It looks nice and warm in there!”

Buck followed the sheriff towards the door, and wondered with every step, if Melissa would be thrilled.  She might demand that he leave....the same way as he had done her.  He sighed.  It was time to stop all the worry.  In seconds he would know....know what the future held.


Melissa had stepped away from the door to get some punch.  Hoss being closest, reached to open the door when the next knock came.

“Roy!  Come in!  Good to see you!  Glad you could come!”  He reached to shake his hand, and caught a glimpse of someone standing behind him.  “Who do you have with you?”

Roy stepped aside, and Hoss couldn’t believe who was standing there.  He was holding his hat in his hands, nervously twisting it round and round.  He looked tired, just off the road.

“Hoss, this young man showed up at the office....says he’s....”

“Buck Cross!  We met in Rock Creek when we went after Melissa!!”  Hoss had interrupted Roy’s words.  He reached out to shake Buck’s hand. 

“I’m glad you know him.  I figured it would be all right if I brought him out here with me.  He wanted directions and since I was coming, I offered to bring him along.  Said he wanted to see Melissa.”

“Well, glad you’re here Buck.  Come in...both of you.”

He took their hats and coats as the door closed behind them, and Buck got the first look at the inside of the ranch house.  He didn’t know how to describe it other than...beautiful!  He’d never seen anything like it before in his life!

Ben noticed that someone else had arrived, so he stepped towards the door to greet their guests.

“Roy, it’s good to see you.”  Ben shook his hand.  “Who have you got here?”  Ben looked over the young man that was standing between Hoss and Roy.  He looked to be near Melissa’s age, and there was no mistaking it, he was a half-breed.  He wore a gun, and a knife strapped to his left ankle.  For a quick moment he wondered if this were Melissa’s Buck Cross.

“Ben, this here is...”  And once again Hoss interrupted him!  He gave him a disgusted look.  Well it was obvious that they knew the young man.  If they decided to ask questions later, he’d answer them!

“Pa this is Buck Cross from Rock Creek.  He’s the one that rescued Melissa.”

Ben hesitated a moment, then extended his hand.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you young man!  We’ve heard a lot about you.”

Buck could only hope that it had been good.  He seemed to be welcomed, but then again, this was a party, he was sure that the Cartwrights weren’t going to make a scene in front of their guests.

“Thank you Mr. Cartwright.  The sheriff here was kind enough to bring me out.  I jist rode in.  I’d like to see Melissa.”

“Of course.  You’ve come a long way.  Hoss get Melissa.”

Hoss smiled as he walked towards the punch bowl.  That was where he had seen Melissa last.  She was standing to the side of it talking with Mrs. Wingate.  She was going to be surprised at what Santa had brought her for Christmas!  His smile faded just a tad as he wondered if she would be happy to see him.  He knew deep down inside that she would be.

“Oh Hoss, you have such a lovely cousin in Melissa here!”  Mrs. Wingate was smiling his way.

“Yes ma’am, we do at that!”

“I’ve just been telling her that there are some awfully nice young men in these parts.  A lot of them are here tonight too!  I’m sure she’ll soon find someone that’s to her liking.”

Hoss smiled again.  “I’m sure she will.  Would you excuse us for a moment?”

Mrs. Wingate nodded, and Hoss took hold of Melissa’s upper arm.  “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Me?”  She looked startled.  Who would be there?  She didn’t know anyone in Virginia City other than her family and the people that she’d met tonight.

“You been making secret wishes to Santa about what you wanted him to bring you for Christmas?”

“Now Hoss, you know there isn’t a Santa!”

“Well, you mite jist change your mind when you see who’s here.”

They had been walking back towards the door, and Melissa looked around Hoss to see who it might be.  She stopped in her tracks.  Was she seeing things?  Was that really Buck standing there?

When Hoss realized that she had stopped walking, he turned and looked her way.  “Melissa, what is it?  Don’t you want to see him?”

Her heart was racing.  She couldn’t get her breath.  She’d longed to see him again, but now that he was there, she was so many things all at once.  Scared, angry, happy, sad...she didn’t know how to feel!

Buck had spotted Hoss bringing her across the floor and his heart had nearly stopped.  She was gorgeous!  She was dressed in a deep green dress that was low cut, and her auburn hair was beautiful as it cascaded down over her shoulders.  As he watched her stop in the middle of the floor, he saw so many emotions go across her face.  Undoubtedly Hoss hadn’t told her it was him standing there.  He wasn’t sure what the last emotion was that settled on her face.  But he was sure that he would find out soon enough.

Ben wasn’t surprised to see that both of the young people seemed rooted to the floor.  Placing a hand on Buck’s back, he gave him a slight push towards her.  Now that he was here, he wasn’t about to let this young man leave until some things were settled.

“There’s our Melissa now.”

Ben walked with Buck across the floor to where Melissa and Hoss stood.  “Look what Santa dropped off at our door Melissa!”

She wanted to fling herself into his arms and just stand there with them wrapped around her.  She’d missed him so much.  But she couldn’t do that.  Why was he here?  He didn’t know about the baby yet, so what other reason could there be?  Why wasn’t he with Singing Bird?  All the doubts began to creep back in.  Everything that Uncle Ben had said to her just suddenly flew out the window.  All she saw was Buck in an embrace with Singing Bird.

“What are you doing here?”  The words weren’t ugly, but there was enough anger in them to light a match.

“I needed to see you Melissa.  Can we go some where and talk?”  He looked anxious and Melissa didn’t notice that most of the people in the room were looking their way wondering who the stranger was and what he had to do with Melissa.

“I’m not so sure that I want to talk to you.”

“Melissa, Buck’s come a long way.  This is Christmas.  Can’t you put your differences aside fer tonight?  Tomorrow you two can talk it all out.”  Hoss looked down at her.

“Melissa, I need to explain some things to you.  Please listen to what I have to say.”  Buck was suddenly worried that she wouldn’t talk to him.  How was he going to convince her that he hadn’t meant all the things that he had said to her?

“Hoss, I think these two have a lot of things that they need to get straight.  I don’t think they’re going to feel very comfortable around one another until it’s settled.  Take them out to the kitchen.  Hop Sing is too busy in here to mind if they use his kitchen to talk.”

“That’s all right Hoss, I know the way.”  Melissa stepped around them all and headed away from the guests.  Buck had no choice but to follow.  He glanced back over his shoulder, and noticed that Mr. Cartwright had a worried frown on his face.  Turning back to Melissa, he said a prayer to his spirit guides that they would let this all turn out right!

Melissa stood for a moment with her back to him.  He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he knew that she would never allow it.  Her back was ramrod straight, and her anger was very apparent when she finally turned to face him.  “Why Buck, why are you here?  Why did you treat me as you did, throw me away, then show up now?  Now on Christmas, like, like some gift from the gods?”

He frowned.  He’d hurt her deeply.  Her bottom lip was trembling and he could tell that it was taking all the strength she possessed to keep from crying.  “Melissa, I was so wrong.  So wrong about everything.  I’ve come all this way to tell you how sorry I am.  I love you!  I’ve loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Then why did you tell me different?  Why did you decide that you wanted Singing Bird?  Someone that was one of “your people”?”  She asked in a sarcastic tone.  She was out to hurt him as much as he had hurt her.

“I was wrong.  I called her one of “my people” to hurt you. I never cared for Singing Bird.  I thought that if you saw me with her that you would think that I didn’t love you and you would come back here with your family.”

“Of course I would think that!  She was kissing you when I walked in!  It couldn’t have been planned.  You didn’t know that I was following you to the village!  So it seems to me that maybe you were interested in her.  Other wise you wouldn’t have been kissing her!  Do you know how it made me feel to walk in and see the two of you in an embrace?”

“Yes, I know.  I hurt you terribly.  I’m sorry.  I never meant to.  I thought that I was doing what was right.  Turns out, it wasn’t anywhere close to being right!  I hadn’t planned to be with Singing Bird.  I told my brother that I was in love with you, but that I thought it would be better if you went back with your family.  He has been after me for a long time to return to the Indian way of life.  He thought that if I had someone at the village, it would help him in his cause to get me back with him.  He had sent Singing Bird to me when I arrived that morning.  I didn’t know that she was intending to kiss me until it happened. That was when you walked in.”

“But you weren’t pushing her away!  It appeared that you were happy in her embrace!”

“I was startled at her boldness.  Then you and Red Bear appeared and I didn’t know what to do.  I wanted to hold you close and tell you that I wanted only you, but I knew if I did that, that you would never leave.  So when Singing Bird made more advances towards me while you were standing there, I let her.  I figured if you saw us together and I told you that I didn’t love you, that it would give you one more reason to leave!”

“But Buck, if you didn’t mean it, if you didn’t want her....why?  Why were you so hell bent on sending me here?  You could have told me what was going on instead of ignoring me!  I had no idea what was happening!  You refused to speak to me unless someone else was around!  It was like I had the plague or something!”

“I know I was wrong Melissa.  When I learned who your family was, I panicked!  I didn’t know what to do!  All I knew was that I had nothing to offer you compared to what they could give you!  They have wealth, land, a future.  Me....I have nothing.  No land, no money, a lowly pony express rider that will soon be out of a job once the rail lines are laid all over the country!  What else could I do?  The people of Rock Creek were already calling you names behind your back because you were being seen with me.  I didn’t want you to live the kind of life that I was living.  Never belonging, never being a part of the life there!  It isn’t easy!  Here you could have everything!”

“Buck, didn’t you realize that without you, I had nothing?  I loved you!  I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you!  I didn’t care if you had anything but yourself to offer me.  That would have been enough!  I didn’t care about the ‘everything’ as you say, that my uncle could give me!  All I wanted was you, and you didn’t want me!”

“Would have been?  Are you telling me that there isn’t a chance now that I’ve let you know that what I said was a lie?  Now that I’ve told you the truth.....that I love you?  You’re my life Melissa.  I don’t know if I can live without you!  Yes I wanted you....I still want you.”

He looked so hurt standing there.  Was that the way she had looked when he’d lied to her?  “Buck, you lied to me!  How can you expect me to just up and forgive you like it didn’t mean anything?  You broke my heart!”

There were tears running down her face.  She had held them in for as long as she could.  He stepped closer and reached for her.  His arms were aching to hold her close.  She didn’t hesitate as his arms enfolded her.  She cried on his shoulder and he whispered soft words in her ear as he comforted her.

“Melissa, I love you more than life itself!  I would give anything if I could turn back the hands of time.  I would never have hurt you, ever.  But I did and all I can say is I’m sorry and ask you to forgive me.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but if you decide that isn’t what you want then there is nothing left for me here.”

She stood there, listening to his soft voice.  She loved him.  No matter what he had done to her....she loved him.  It might take a while for her to forgive him for what he’d done, but the love that she still felt so strong for him would rule in the end.  And there was the baby.  What was he going to say about the baby?  She could forgive him for the lies.  She felt like he was telling her the truth about Red Bear.  Ben had been right, he’d only used Singing Bird to make her want to leave.  And Red Bear had just helped the cause along.  She took a deep breath and looked up into Buck’s beautiful brown eyes.

“I have something that I have to tell you.  I don’t want you to feel like you have to make a decision about this tonight.  I know when you hear this, that you will probably want some space...some time to think it through.  I’ll understand if you want to go back to Rock Creek for awhile.”

He looked at her confused.  What in the world could she tell him that would make him want to leave her?  Was she in love with another?  That was the only thing that would make him leave.  To have her tell him it wasn’t going to work.

“There is someone else involved besides just you and me!”

Buck released her and turned around to hide his hurt.  She was going to tell him she loved another!  He had waited to long to come for her!  “You tellin’ me you love someone else?”

“No..no Buck.  That’s not what I’m telling you.  What I am telling you,  is there is another person that we have to consider in what we decide here tonight.”

“Then if you aren’t in love with someone else, what are you talkin’ about?  Why would someone else be involved?”

She was silent for a moment, then she looked up into his eyes.  “Buck, I’m carrying a child....your child!!”

A child?  Had he heard her right?  His child?  She was telling him that she was pregnant?  “Melissa.......”  It came out as a whisper.  He gazed at her in wonder.  He never dreamed that he would find someone to return his love freely,  let alone someone that would bare his children.  “Oh Melissa...”  He pulled her close to his body again, and his lips found hers for the first time.  “I love you so much!  I don’t have to take time to consider anything!  I know, right now, right this second, that I want both of you as a part of my life!”  When he looked down at her, there was a BIG smile on his face.  She knew that he was totally happy.  That was the smile that she had seen so many times before.  Before everything that had taken place to tear them apart!

“Buck are you sure?  This will change everything.  Your life, my life.  It’s a big responsibility...a family, I mean.”

“A family!  That’s exactly what we’re gonna be!  A family!  Marry me Melissa!  Tonight, tomorrow...I don’t care!  Just tell me you will!  I want us to be together, forever!”

She couldn’t help but smile.  She loved this man so much!  She wanted them to be together, as a family.  “Buck, I love you.  If you’re sure that this is what you want.  I don’t want you to feel trapped.  I don’t want you telling me tonight that this is what you want and then in the morning after you’ve slept on it, you decide that you don’t want it.  I couldn’t handle it again.  It hurt too much to lose you the first time!”

Buck suddenly dropped down on his knee in front of her.  “I swear, I want you both!  Please marry me Melissa!  We’ll work things out some how!  It might change our lives, but it will be for the better!”


Ben had begun to worry about Melissa.  He hadn’t heard any out bursts from the kitchen.  Of course with as many people as there were in the living room, it might be impossible to hear her if Melissa had decided to call out.  Silently he slipped around the corner of the kitchen and stood looking at the two of them.  Buck was on his knee in front of Melissa, and if he wasn’t mistaken, he had just asked his niece to marry him!  He waited, holding his breath for her to answer.  She wouldn’t tell him no would she?

She gazed down into his upturned face.  Yes this was the man she loved.  She’d been waiting on him all her life.  “Yes Buck!  I’ll marry you!”

He let out a loud whoop, and Ben laughed out loud.  He hadn’t meant for them to know that he was ease dropping, but he couldn’t help it as he saw the joy on both their faces as Buck lifted Melissa off the ground and swung her around.

Melissa looked his way.  “You heard?”

“I heard.  And let me be the first to congratulate you both!”  He stepped forward and gave Melissa a hug, kissing her cheek at the same time.  Then he was shaking Buck’s hand. “Welcome to the family young man!  We’re all very happy to have you!”

Buck had a feeling that he meant exactly what he said.  Life really was about to change....for the better.








Epilogue



A year had gone by.  Christmas was just around the corner.  As usual, the Ponderosa was getting ready for the annual Christmas party.  Melissa was helping decorate the pine tree that Buck, Hoss and Joe had brought in only an hour before.   Her six-month-old son, Benjamin Ike, was lying in the floor watching her every move.  He was growing so fast.   He looked so much like his father.  With dark hair and eyes.  He carried the marks of the white man as well as the Indian.  Melissa knew that he would be brought up to respect both worlds.

She glanced over at Buck.  He was talking with her uncle about the cattle drive that they were planning in the Spring.  Buck had fit in so well on the Ponderosa.  The Cartwrights had welcomed him into their family.  There had been no questions and Melissa knew that for the first time, Buck Cross felt that he belonged somewhere.

They had been married in the Spring, in Rock Creek.  They had wanted their friends around them, and Buck had known that there was no way that all the riders could leave the station to come for the affair.  So they had taken it to them.  Ben had given away his niece in a simple ceremony in which Teaspoon had officiated.  Melissa knew that she couldn’t have been happier.  Or so she had thought, until the night that Ike had come into the world.

They had discussed names for months.  But Melissa had known that if the child was a boy that he would carry Buck’s best friend’s name.  Benjamin Ike had come into the world with a lustful cry, and Melissa knew that he would one day get everything he wanted...if having everyone wrapped around his little finger as he did now, was any indication!

The pony express had disbanded not long after Buck and Melissa had married.  Teaspoon had continued on in Rock Creek as the Marshal.  Rachel still cleaned and cooked for him, and helped  out teaching at the little school there.  Kid and Lou had begun farming, and were raising a daughter, with another on the way just any day.  Cody and Noah were backing Teaspoon up as deputies and Jimmy, well he’d held true to his words to Buck.  He and Sarah would be arriving after the first of the year.  The Cartwrights were hiring for the Spring cattle drive.  Jimmy was excited about the job and knew that after the drive, he and Sarah would have a home there on the Ponderosa for as long as they wished it.


Ben had been in Virginia City most of the morning, but he arrived just as they were finishing up the decorations on the tree.  “Hoss can you and Joe watch little Ike for a few hours.  I need to borrow Buck and Melissa.”

“Shore Pa.  We’d love to wouldn’t we Joe?”

Joe grinned.  He loved playing with the baby.  Only part he disliked was changing him.  He could talk Hoss into that though!  “Shore.  Go ahead.”

They saddled their horses and rode out of the yard.  For a time they were silent, and Melissa wondered what her uncle had up his sleeve.  Before long, they came into a valley, and Melissa recognized it as the place that her mother had loved most of all on the Ponderosa.  She had talked of building a house here, and living in peace until the end of her days.  But she had gone to Boston with her husband and even though she had visited many times, always talking about her dream, it had never come to pass.

Ben watched the emotions going across Melissa’s face.  They had stopped on a ridge and were looking down into the valley.  He knew that she had remembered her mother’s dream.

“It still looks the same.  Mother loved it here.”

“Yes she did.  She never got to live her dream out, but you can do that for her.” 

Melissa looked at him with a question in her eyes.  “What do you mean?  She’s gone.”

“True, but I feel her here every time I come.  She’s in the valley, watching over it.  I want this to be yours Melissa.  Yours and Buck’s.  I spent the morning at the land office having the deed drawn up.  This valley now belongs to the two of you.  You can build on it and raise a house full of children!  It’s what I want...and I know it’s what Lilah wants!”  He handed the deed to Buck, whose mouth had fallen open.

“Are you sure Ben?”

“Positive.  Merry Christmas!”

“Oh Uncle Ben!”  Melissa was leaning over to hug him, tears in her eyes.  “Thank you so much.  You can’t begin to know what this means to us.  You’ve given us so much in the last year.  Helped welcome Ike into the world, given Buck a chance to realize that he truly belongs somewhere, even given two of our friends a chance to start over in a new place.  I don’t know what I would have done without you Ben Cartwright!”  She hugged him again, kissing his cheek.

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone to plan your future.  See you back at the house in a bit!”

Buck leaned over and shook his hand.  “Thank you...for everything!”

He smiled and turned his horse around, heading back to the ranch.

Melissa slipped from the horse and stood with her arms wrapped around herself, warding off the cold.  Buck soon joined her, slipping his arms around her waist from behind.  Life was complete.  He couldn’t ask for anything else.  He loved it here on the Ponderosa, and he knew that this was where Melissa wanted to be. 

“I love you Melissa.”

She smiled.  “Does it feel right Buck?  This land?  It’s ours!  Does it feel like it should inside here?”  She pointed to his chest.  “It’s not charity.  It’s something that we can call our own!”

He smiled.  “Yes it feels right.  I know it isn’t charity.  He waited a year before he gave it to us for a lot of reasons.  I think he wanted to be sure that I was sure this was what I wanted.  Never let it be said that Ben Cartwright isn’t a proud man!”

“He’s no prouder than you are, Buck Cross!  Can you be happy here?”

“Forever!  As long as you an Ike are with me.”  He leaned down and kissed her softly.  The cold wind whipped around them, blowing their hair into their faces.  “Come on, let’s go see where we’re going to build our house!”  Grabbing her hand they ran down the hillside like two over grown children, laughing in their happiness. 

Life was good.......the future was very bright....they finally had a world that they could both belong in.....TOGETHER!




 

COPYRIGHT - R WOOTEN - 2003


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